When Is a Good Age for "Chore Charts"?

You must have read my mind, lol. I was just thinking this same thing the other day. My little one will be 4 at the end of Oct and we have been having trouble with her listening sometimes. She can be the best kid ever and then she destroys her room, doesn't pick up, and makes a mess that she doesn't want to help clean up. I think after reading the posts I am going to try a chore chart too. I do find that when I offer her small special treats, most that I would do anyway, she tends to do the right thing. Thanks for the post!

You know, at that age I think both consequences and praise really need to be immediate or they don't get it. I had good luck with simply saying, "Wow! Great job brushing your teeth - now we have extra time to snuggle before bedtime." or "I like how all your toys were put away before we got to the end of the Clean Up song! You were really fast! Now we have time for a story." Basically, just showing them that their good behavior has good consequences right at that moment. Kids that age have a really hard time with delayed gratification (or punishment, for that matter). When they had bad behavior, I might say, "Oh, that's too bad that you didn't put your toys away. Now I will have to do it." (And for the record, what this means in our house is that the toys go AWAY - at that age for maybe a day, in a bag in the garage, but now that they're older, they go away FOREVER. You wouldn't believe how good they are at picking up their toys.)

As long as you reward or punish in a logical way (i.e. brushing teeth without a fuss means more time to read a story, or not picking up toys means the toys go away for a while), and right in the moment, I think you will find that your child will quickly learn what is expected and will be more likely to comply. Just my two cents!

Hi G.,

I am a Professional Organizer, Family Coach and Speaker in the Richardson area. My company is Get Organized! www.GetOrganized.ws.

I deal alot with kids chores and allowances systems...as well as organizing closets, kitchens and all that paper clutter than comes in homes.

Chores are a large part of what we help moms deal with... chores are good to start at any age... you can do charts with pictures and maybe some words by age 4 to 5. Until then you need to train them on how to correctly do the chore.. by doing it with them, not for them. Yes, I know it's easier for you to do it and get it done.. but you are raising a future wife of someones....do your daughter-n-law proud.

I have tons of ideas and articles on my website under the Media tab and then under News and Press. I also do the North Texas Kids blog once a month and a video that goes along with it. Make sure you sign up on their site. Last month I posted a blog and video on organizing your camping trip.

Enjoy being a mom,

L. B.
____@____.com

sounds great - we started at 3. and the reason we started at 3 was because 3 was WAY worse than 2 - and he decided he would raise holy h*** every morning over getting dressed. so we started a chart, with "get dressed, go potty, feed the fish, brush teeth" on it...and when he was done, he got a little reward (can't remember what we would give him...it wasn't anything extravagant, i think just play time or time to watch a few minutes of a cartoon before we left or something) anyway it worked great. after awhile the chores became just part of our routine, and we gave up on the chart. then around 3 1/2 or 4 we had to revisit it when he got attitude with me again in the mornings. i would definitely go for it. the only thing is, keep in mind she can't read - i used the computer to make a "chart" with pictures instead of words. a picture of clothes, a fish, a toilet, etc....and i let him mark off each item himself. it worked great.

Rather than a chore chart, we started a pebble jar last summer for our then 4 year old. Every time she did something good/extra - set the table, cleaned up her baby sisters toys, we put a pebble in the jar and when the jar is full she gets to pick a fun thing to do or a new toy. We don't reward her for doing things she's supposed to do - brush teeth, clean up her room, only extras. It's a great motivator. It's amazing how much help I get for a few pebbles!

3 is a great age! I think the true benefit of a chore chart or other reward system is that you get in the habit of recognizing and acknowledging all the things your child does right, instead of only paying attention to misbehavior, which is a very easy trap to fall into. I'm a low-key person, and not crafty, so our "chart" is the same ... I just verbally acknowledge my son and give him a sticker when ever he's done something I'm pleased about. Anything can get him a sticker, but I also have some target behaviors that I'm looking for that change as time goes on. When my son gets enough stickers he gets to watch an extra tv show.

I'm waiting until my guy is 3 or so as well. Even though he's in the midst of the terrible two's @ 26 months I know he won't "get it" completely as of yet, and since I didn't use them with my older two I went hunting and came up with a couple of sites that may help:

http://www.paintedgold.com/Organize/chore-charts.html
http://childparenting.about.com/cs/behaviorproblems/a/beh...

: )

I don't have any advice to offer since my little one is still a newborn. But this is a great question and you've gotten really *great* answers! Love this!

She's old enough, visual aides and consistency will be great for her.

3 is the perfect age to start! Stickers of her favorite cartoon characters on the chart to show she's completed a chore are a great incentive. Once she completes a chore, have her take a sticker of her choice and place it by the chore completed. Make her rewards something she really loves. Example: If she loves reading, at the end of a good week, take her to the library to take out a book or to the book store for the reading hour(some book stores like Barnes&Noble have this during their days in the children's section) and the purchase of a book. Good luck!

I second the Melissa & Doug one, that's what we've been using for well over a year now (I like not worrying about having stickers, etc. though:). I love all the premaid ones and that you can add your own too. I added "Obey/Listen" because that was a BIG one and I added "No Time Outs" so he gets a magnet if he doesn't get time outs, etc. How I do it (for now at least:) is for every 5 magnets he earned at the end of the week he gets a quarter. So he usually ends up getting like $2 a week or so, which isn't much but he LOVES coins and it's working well for now. I have also added that to play his Wii he has to earn at least 3 magnets before he can play and that works well too. The biggest thing is finding WHAT they will work for (coins, stickers, park play, pool play, games, etc. - that part took quite awhile to figure out). At her age you will probably have to do it daily so she realizes she's earning stuff right away and then when she gets older switch it to the end of the week. I have my son's hanging on a 3M hook pretty high up on his closet door so he can't snatch them down but he can still see them. Good luck!!

The only way you will know if your daughter is ready is to try it and see how she does. If she doesn't take to it, try again in 6 months.

We started chore charts around age 4 and it went beautifully.

Good luck

same thing happened with my son - I don't think its too early for a chore chart at 3. We got one from 'Melissa & Doug' ... it is a wood responsibility chart and has a lot of pre-made responsibilities plus a few you can write on yourself. it has magnetic smily faces and that alone was enough for my son, we didn't have to add any extra treats (although I was prepared to ). He just loved putting the smiley faces on each day ...