When Do I Celebrate?

Have some celebration it took this long for her to conceive now is the time to congratulate her.It can be simple or a simple gift from the heart if something does happen she will have something to remember.I know I was happy to find out and tell everyone that I was pregnant regardless of how far along I was and they were too happy.

Honestly, i would wait. The clear isn't over until her 12 weeks are up and then their can still be complications. I would wait. Maybe get her an outfit but wait for the BIG gift after her 1st trimester! JMO

Celebrate now. Celebrate tomorrow and each next day. Celebrate again at three months. And if the worst happens be there to hold her hand as she grieves.

I have suffered a miscarriage and infirtially issues. I how have 2 beautiful boys... all this to say. Even after the miscarriage I told people (family and close friends) I was prego on the second go around right way. My brother in law made me sooo mad when he said should you be telling people yet, what if.... And I said, why should I spend the next 3 months wondering "what if". That would take all the fun and joy out of this miracle. Even if a miscarriage happens, she should know the feeling of happiness of being pregnant. She should know what it feels like to have the wonderful knowledge of a baby inside her and even if it's for a week or two (worst case) let her enjoy it. Be her joy friend! Then if needed be her pillar of strength if she needs, but hey she has gotten this far, she know the risks and chances she doesn't need other's pointing the obvious out. But, I bet she does need somebody to do the happy dance with her. A gift is nice, something small and personal from you to her. It's too early for diapers or outfits yet anyway. But, something precious is perfect, if you want.

Congrats to your friend, what a miracle she has witnessed to have gotten this far. Good luck to her.

First I like to start by saying CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

IF you feel compelled to celebrate - GO FOR IT! Don't let the enemy try to rob this feeling from any of you. Could something go wrong? Sure, however, if you focus on the negative than you will not have time to celebrate. Enjoy this blessed time with her and encourage her. Speak positive and reassurance over her and her pregnancy. What we speak comes true so be wise with your words. Your are so correct it is all in God's hands and trust that he will see her through each step of the way.

I want to give you a little information on why I say these things. My husband and I tried for 5 years to get pregnant, thinking it would never happen, it did. Everyone try to scare me into believing the worse, however, I knew God gave me this precious jewel and I chose to enjoy not worry. I had no problems with my first pregnancy nor my second. I chose to have my tubes tied after my second child. Exactly three years later I got pregnant again. I was only 4 weeks pregnant when I found out that we couldn't even see the baby on the sonogram. My family physician became very concerned and almost would not let me go home, he was afraid the baby was in the tubes. He told me not to tell my family or anything until we knew for sure everything was alright with the baby. I chose to ignore his advice. My husband and I told our family and also we went to church and told the whole congregation and had everyone praying over the baby and that everything was alright. God sure did bless us with a precious baby girl that is 2 1/2 years old now. I have 2 boys, one is 8 and the other is 6. God can do anything if you trust in him. I'm sorry I wrote so much, I just thought you should know that I understand you being reserved, however, you need not to worry just enjoy!!!!!!

Please keep us posted on her pregnancy. I will be praying for her and everyone to speak positively!

Blessings T.

I say rejoice!! get excited...as excited as she is!! if she is apprehensive, then temper your excitement with that. let her know you are there for her no matter what! We only have today to be sure of...we cant worry about what "may" happen..
I think your best friends are there for you. ..just there.

Celabrate some now - after all she has done what she thought would be impossible. But don't go over board, not booties or other baby items. After the 1st trimester celabrate a little more.
I lost my first pregnancy at 13 weeks, so you may not want to go over board even at the 1st tirmester mark. But just being there for her and sharing in her joy will mean the world to her. I know it did for me when my friends and sister celabrated with me during my 2nd pregnancy and the birth of that baby. And remember to pray for her and that little miracle!

S.

I would suggest that If its just you getting her a gift and celebrating just the two of you or your two families DO IT NOW! She is pregnant and I think she might be offended if no one is excited until after the 1st trimester, kwim? However, if you want to do something big, maybe just ask her. Tell her you are so happy and you think a big celebration would be a great way to announce, etc. See when she thinks it would be a good time. That way she can decide.

Having had a m/c myself, and two normal pregnancies afterwards, you CAN NOT live in fear of it happening. There is life there regardless! Congrats to your friend!

Celebrate when it's time to celebrate and grieve if and when it's time for that. Don't put off what is worthy of celebrating. It is an exciting time and I'm sure she is feeling excited. Join in with her. I'm sure she too is feeling hesitant and as you celebrate with her maybe it will open an opportunity to discuss the fears, hopes, and joys of today. What an opportunity for relationship.
P. F.

Hi Meg,

Speaking from experience... I was infertile for 11 yrs as well, and found out, out of the blue I was preggy! Yes as you can Imagine I was in shock, but completely excited, I was 6 weeks when I found out, and we told everyone! Started shopping right away!
A week later I lost it. It was hard, but the hardest part was having to tell people that we had lost it, and then putting away all the little baby things we had gotten. I would suggest that you be happy for your friend and supportive, but causious as well. As you had said your sister had a similarity, so you know how painful it is. You could buy like a congradulations card, because, in my experience its easier to put that away then a few onsies or bibs..
Another peice of advice I have is for your friend! Tell her to make sure that she is taking FOLIC ACID! They told me when I lost mine, the main reason was because my body didn't have enough folic acid. You can buy it over the counter.
Good Luck to you & your friend

they say it is bad luck to buy or receive anything until after the 3rd month. You could always get her a card. there's no harm in that. I wish your friend all the luck in the world.

I would celebrate a little. I have never had a problem. But I think everyone should stay reserved through the first tri-mester. Your calmness will hopefully help hers. She'll be worried too. Praying for her.

Coming from someone who was devistated by two miscarriages while trying to get pregnant...I would wait til about four months along personally!They say most women are in the safe zone once they've been three months pregnant.

Having gone through IF treatments myself, I think any time is a good time to celebrate. If you want to give her a gift, maybe a gift certificate to a salon or something like that instead of something "baby-like" would be good. I'm sure she'll be very appreciative whatever you give her...she's excited that she's pg!

I agree with others, celebrate with her joy, but dont buy any thing baby yet. Spend the day getting pedicures and go out to eat. She has something to celebrate.
I understand the fertility issues as DH and I have been trying to concieve over 4 years. It happens in Gods Time.
Celebrate the joy with her!

Verbally celebrate with her, but wait on any gifts. If anything were to happen to the pregnancy it would that much harder for her to see all this baby stuff around the house. Do other things like taking her out to dinner.

The best thing you can do is be happy for your friend, and celebrate with her. If she has a miscarrage, then be there for her. But enjoy the moment now. I've given a lot of first trimester gifts, like popsycles and other craved foods. I wouldn't give a baby gift right now, but something for the pregnancy...maybe bath salts or vitamines.

Personally if it were me, I would wait until after the 1st trimester to make sure everything is going well with her and the baby. It is exciting news and all you can do right now is share in her glory. I would wait on the gift buying until later. I never got gifts until after my son was born.

Oh, go ahead and celebrate a little. Save the real $$ for the arrival of the baby (which most people do in any pregnancy anyway.)

Meg,

I went through fertility issues too. For me, I wanted people to act normal and be excited for me. I could tell when people didn't want to be excited just in case. And, it made me feel like people were just waiting for it to turn bad. I wanted to enjoy the experience. Yes, it is possible that the pregnancy might not make it...if that is the case...deal with the sorrow then. But, for the moment let her and You enjoy this great news...I say celebrate! I'm now a Mother of Triplets.

I went thru the same thing and everyone told me I should wait until the first trimester was over... I say CELEBRATE NOW!! I told everyone when I was only 6 weeks! It is something to celebrate no matter what happens. This at the very least means she can get pregnant!! Also just because she had trouble getting pregnant does not mean anything will go wrong with this one. I would NOT tell her everything is going to be ok- but I would buy her a gift and celebrate the happiness she feels right now! J.

As a nurse that takes care of mom's who have lost thier baby I would say celebrate now. I have seen so much that to me the second and third trimester is no different than the first. I never feel safe until the baby is born. I think a small gift like a pregnancy calender would be cool. I know if after 11 years of trying I had a miracle pregnancy I would want others to be as excited as I. Tell your friend congratulations! It is so cool when doctors are wrong because God shows who is really the boss!!
R. <><

Wow Meg!!! Congratulations to your friend!!! The "impossible" has already happened!! Reason enough to celebrate!
Cheers!
R.

I would definatley congratulate her but I would wait to celebrate fully until a little more into the pregnancy. I just had a friend miscarry in the 3-4 month so it can happen even if you have never had problems before. But like someone else said if she told you about it then she must be ok with everything just be careful with loading her with lots of gifts just in case. Good Luck and we all wish the best for her, my sister n law took over 10 years to get pregnant and we cherish every moment of our nephew's life because he was for sure a miracle in all of our lives.

Hi I'm assuming Meg's husband. Congratulations to the both of you! Well, I know usually they say to wait until after the first trimester due to possibility of misscarriage, but if it was me I'd be celebrating, because you at least made step one!:)
Once again Congrats and I hope all goes well:)

That is a tough one. A part of me says wait until after the first trimester, but the other part of me says you need to get her something. I would look at Willow Tree figures. You can find them at any Hallmark store. They have figures for everything. They even have figures for pets. I think you be able to find her something. I think they have one called miracles or hope. They are great and I highly recommended them. I have one when I lost my first child and then I got another one when I have my second child.
Hope this helps.

Meg,

Celebrate! Celebrate! Celebrate! There is a new life that has been created and is growing inside your friend. What a blessing!

When I was pregnant with my daughter, a very good friend of mine sent me a card "from the baby." In it, "the baby" wrote how excited she was to have me as a mommy and what a good job I was doing taking care of her while she grew inside of me and how excited she was to meet me. (The card did not mention whether the baby would meet me when she was born or when we see each other in heaven - just when we meet. This was nice because had I had another miscarriage, the card would have still applied to the little life I carried.) It was the best thing I received when I was pregnant and I cherish it to this day. What a simple, inexpensive gift to give a friend who is finally pregnant. The card had a picture of a baby on the front, but was blank when she bought it. I hope this is a suggestion that will work for her.

Theresa

Congrats to your friend! having miscarried twice before having two successful pregnancies, I would say. CELEBRATE and tell the world now. Pregnancy is such a short time, we should enjoy all of it. Miscarriage is aweful, and having celebrated didn't really make it any harder. People who love me needed to know I was pregnant to know I was sad about the MC.Best of luck to her! (I hope this make sense!)

I have been through horrible infertility and also through miscarriages. Both are horrible and cannot be understood unless you have been through the same thing. A person truly cannot understand unless they have been through it themselves. I think a little bit of light hearted excitement would be fine. She is excited too!! However you don't want to be Debbie- Downer either and squash the exciting times. I believe something small like a card and hugs and prayers are the best. Go through this WITH her and that is the best gift you can give. Make her feel like she can call you with whatever feelings she might have. (Scared or Good) Giving a material gift can wait. Just in case, Nothing is worse than seeing a material item that is still there after losing a baby. After the 1st trimester, and when her Dr. encourages her that things are safe, then celebrate a bit more. The BIG HUGE celebration comes on Baby's Birthday!!!!!! Your excitement and care and concern ongoing, today and every other day is what will please her most and make her feel like you guys are going through this together. I will keep them in my prayers. So exciting!!!!

I'm excited for her and I don't even KNOW her!! Let us know how everything goes!

Keep the celebration small. Maybe take her to lunch or something. Way too early for baby or "mom tyoe" gifts this early in any pregnancy.

When I got preggo with my daughter, I was 38. Everyone was telling me the "horror" stories of being that old to have a child, my 3rd. But one special friend brought me 3 white rose buds, and said congrats, I love you! Made my whole pregnancy go smoother every time I thought of that. Celebrate!
L.

This sounds so familiar! It took me years to have my now 10 yr old daughter. My first pregnancy I told everyone and started a pregnancy journal that I purchased with fill in the blank type questions. That pregnancy ended very tragically in a miscarriage. I still love to look back at my journal though. It started out so wonderful and ended so sadly, but was still an important chapter in my life. I hope to one day give it to my daughters. Maybe you could get her something like that. Celebrate life with her and all the happy moments. Those are our treasures in life! ps..I am happy for your friend too!!! I remember so well not believing my dr too...lol

I would wait if it was me but you do what you think best for yourself. I lost all 4 of my babies at 12 weeks. We told everyone, and then I would lose the baby and then have to tell everyone there was no baby. It's devestating so when I got pg with my last baby, I was very high risk and I didn't tell anyone for 3 months. I was scared to tell anyone since all the other times I had lost the child. My miracle baby was born on her due date....6-6-06 !!!!! She's my little demon too and I just love her. She's making up for all my little angels in heaven.

I pray all goes well.

I think that you can get her something. If the problem was not ovulating and infertility, then I don't think that her chances of miscarriage are any greater than anyone elses.

I say go ahead and celebrate. Hopefully everything will go well, and she'll be holding a baby in 8 months. If something did happen, she'd be glad she had the chance to celebrate this life. I miscarried twice--with the first one we hadn't told anyone we were trying to conceive or that we were pregnant. It made things much harder. Of course I called my mom and a couple of friends right away for support. They were in shock and didn't know what to say. They never got a chance to celebrate. The 2nd time, we had told everyone right away, so they were more able to be there for us. I was also able to keep all the congratulatory cards I got in remembrance of the baby. I had also already gone to the Arnold Baby Extravaganza and bought a few things for the baby. I was able to lend a 6-9 month MIZZOU jacket to a friend for her baby that I had bought for mine. It made me feel good (& sane) to be able to do that. IMO acknowledging & accepting a loss makes it much easier to deal with than pretending like nothing happened.
Margie

Having been thru 15 years of infertility and miscarriages, i personally wouldn't want a big celebration as I know that it is early and things happen. It can be very devastating to suffer a lose! I'm sure everything will be ok, but my thought is to hold back a little and celebrate small with you closeness, friendship and motherly wisdom.

I would give her a very special card with a note and gift card for a lunch/shopping trip as soon as she knows the sex or something like that. So you can share in her excitment.

As a mom who suffered from infertility I would suggest doing a little something now - even if it is just a card. Whether this baby holds on or not, it is still her baby and a gesture showing you recognize that would mean the world to her. Something I received after becoming pregnant with our first baby (following years of infertility & having to do fertility drugs & inseminations) was a small cross pendant (i think it came from hallmark) and a very nice card. After 39 weeks of pregnancy, our daughter was stillborn and I still cherish that pendant because it is a sign of our daughter & it gave me hope for the future. We now have 2 living children, but always remember our angel in heaven. Believe it or not, this baby is already real to her - so showing her that it is real to you will be an awesome gesture!!!!

Meg, As most of us have, I have been through a miscarriage and painful as it was. I was glad that I had enjoyed each step of the way. I think the mere fact that she is pregnant is worth a celebration. As she reaches each milestone...you can celebrate that too. Pregnancy is a miracle for all of us, even those of us that do conceive easily. I say celebrate all the way! I know you have a dark cloud and are worried for your friend, but cross that bridge if you HAVE to come to it.

I would celebrate when ever you want to. Too many things can happen in any part of a pregnancy! I had a preemie son at 28 wks., a daughter at 36 wks. that died shortly after birth & a full-term son. Celebrate this little life! Don't worry about what 'could' happen, that is in God's hands!

Personally, I think you should celebrate with her the whole time. If she's excited right now, then celebrate with her, and if she were to lose the baby, just be there for her. But if everything turns out ok, then celebrate again after the first trimester is over, when the risk of miscarriage goes way down. I'll keep your friend in my prayers.

I think it would be ok to get her a card and some flowers. I don't see why not just to say congrats and you're happy for her! Just don't start in on anything more permanant, such as baby items etc... Just in case. Just be there for her throughout the good and bad times (morning sickness sucks too! lol) during this pregnancy, and be somebody for her to lean on when she needs it! Congrats and best wishes!

Meg, if she's happy and she's celebrating, then you celebrate right along with her. I think you both know that there are risks with any pregnancy. If you, God forbid, end up with something to grieve at the end of this process, you'll grieve with her too. Maybe you can get her a "BFF" type of gift now - just to share the excitement, and wait to get something more baby-oriented till after the first trimester.

I also have miscarried (lost the baby at 3 months). If she is excited enough to have told you then I say you celebrate. I don't think anyone needs to tell her that things are not "for sure" right now. I'm sure she deals with that everyday. So, celebrate! If she indeed does make it past the first trimester, celebrate again! You know, I would say at this point, celebrate her as a woman being able to become pregnant, which is what she wanted. Get something for her, take her to lunch, etc. When she is past the most dangerous part of the pregnancy safely, then celebrate the baby. Although less likely, people lose babies after the first trimester all the time. You wouldn't want to hold off celebrating just because there was a chance she could lose the baby at some point. If she does lose the baby, you will be there for her as you have before. Just because you celebrate does not take away from the fact that she has just done something the doctors have said she could never do. Celebrate that!

I would definitely congratulate her, but wait to really celebrate until the first trimester is over. I had a friend who went through something similar and then she lost the baby and of course was devastated. After that first trimester then you can really celebrate, but I would be cautious right now.

I think you should wait until after the second trimester. I just had my third son three weeks ago. My second son passed when he was four months old. This last pregancy was very important to me. During the first trimester I had some spotting, and although I new in my heart things would work out, I was still very scared. So I would wait just to be on the safe side.