My dd is 10 still believes in all of it! I know it's not even Halloween yet, but I want to be prepared. She's always been a little "young" for her age which is fine with me, but some other kids already know and sometimes say things.
Should I tell her?
I told them when they asked. My oldest was about 10 and my 8-soon to be 9- year old just asked and we talked about it. They know not to tell anyone else - it is up to their mommy & daddy to tell them. And as long as they pretend to believe, they will still get presents from "Santa".
If she asks, you can tell her. Otherwise, she will stop believing and you will know when she stops talking about them. I never asked my parents and never told them I didn't believe anymore. It was obvious.
I told my son when he was three and we were making Operation Christmas Child boxes. He asked why Santa doesn't bring gifts to all the children in the world, and I didn't want to lie to him about that.
Wait, what are you saying???!!! No Santa???!
Sorry, had to do it.
They're not real?!?!?!?
Seriously, I'm 44 and I still believe in Santa Claus. Sure, parents are helpers, but he's real. Why tell and take away the magic?
... There's no Santa? 0.0
My parents never told us. Yes, we did eventually figure it out on our own but we (Or at least, I) were never mad at our parents for not telling us. In fact, the rule still is "Santa doesn't bring presents to those who don't believe in him".
So, that being said, I would like to add... Santa is to real!!!
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... There's no Santa? 0.0
My parents never told us. Yes, we did eventually figure it out on our own but we (Or at least, I) were never mad at our parents for not telling us. In fact, the rule still is "Santa doesn't bring presents to those who don't believe in him".
So, that being said, I would like to add... Santa is to real!!!
Tell her when she asks.
No. Wait till she figures it out. I agree with Doris Day.
They each and every one came to the conclusion on their own. I imagine this year she'll get some peer pressure and told they aren't real. I would be ready to tell her what ever you want her to remember about the ideals. I told our girl that Santa was indeed not real but the idea behind him was to give to others and to show love to your family.
Our son is 14.
I'm sure he's figured it out for himself but I'm not exactly sure when.
We never discussed it.
Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
Santa and the Tooth Fairy are the easy ones.
An accurate weather forecast is much harder to believe in.
Just like the magic of early childhood is belief, the magic of later childhood is discovery -- it's figuring out "ha! it was all fake! I'm so smart, I figured it out."
There's also a middle period, where kids sort of let themselves believe or choose to believe. As long as she's there, it's filling a psychological need for her. So let her be there as long as she needs. When she's ready for the sneaky brilliance of early adolescence, she'll go there too.
(And then, one day, she'll be 42 and she'll be utterly exhausted and overwhelmed at life's responsibilities, and she'll realize she's not smarter than anyone else. So let her have the "I'm so smart, I figured it out" moment when she can.)
let my kids figure it out.My 13 yr old found out at the age of 9 and my 10 yr old found out at the age of 7!
My 10 yr old still believes too. I use my SIL's line of "they are real as long as you believe in your heart." I have no intention of telling them. They will figure it out on their own.
Last year (age 11) was our first year with no Santa Claus.
We've always said that Santa Claus is like a magic trick. You can believe in the magic trick, and wonder about it and have fun with it. There is always a secret as to HOW the magic trick is done, but once you know then the magic is gone forever. We told our daughter that we are willing to tell her how the magic is accomplished (the Magic of Santa) but once she knows, the magic will be gone.
Just this last year she finally said she wanted to know. At age 10 she was questioning, but when we confronted her with the magic trick analogy, she chose on her own not to know.
She was disappointed to find out that Santa is not a physical person that visits her house, but excited to find out that Santa is a spirit that is in us all, and that when a someone chooses a gift for another, then they are part of the spirit of Santa.
She was afraid that Christmas would lose it's magic with no Santa, but was relieved to find that Christmas was still magical, and that giving is the biggest part of Christmas, not a man in a red suit. She still enjoys watching Christmas movies.
In our families, we let the children figure it out. Some take a bit longer than others.
They figure it out on their own. I know my 11 year old knows, but he is smart enough to play along because it is fun and he doesn't want to spoil the fun.
I never told my kids. I did read the book "The Polar Express" to them and we all like the part "Can you hear the bell?".
The ONE time my older son asked me if there was a santa, I told him what my MIL told my husband when he was a boy. I told him that if there's no santa, then there wouldn't be any presents under the tree from SC. (We always put some presents under the tree from "SC"). He never asked again :)
Okay, the point is that we like to keep the Christmas spirit. The Polar Express shows that perfectly (the book, not the movie. I didn't care much for the movie.) And yes, we celebrate the religious aspect of Christmas, but that's totally separate from this.
I never told my kids about the Easter Bunny. They only pay attention to the Cadbury eggs, LOL!
Toothfairy? She'll figure out in time, once she has no more teeth to give.
Hi, Sally:
No. She will learn on her own. Life has a way of teaching us things.
Don't burst her bubble. Children need fantasy to cope with life.
Good luck.
D.
My dd is almost 7, and she's recently started questioning it. I keep telling her that it's real as long as she believes it. I don't know how long it will last, but she wants to believe, and that's good enough for me.
When they ask, I tell them the truth. My oldest asked at a young age, maybe 5, and I asked her what she thought and she said he didn't think Santa was real. I wasn't going to continue to lie and say that he was, so I told her that she was right.
Some may say I'm wrong to tell her this information, but I don't think I should lie to my children about anything. I give them as much of the truth as possible in all situations because I want them to trust me and to always tell me the truth. When they are young teens and realize I was making up extravagant lies for one reason or another, I think they will then begin to question my authority on other life lessons I've taught them and wonder what else I've been trying to cover up. I'm just not that good a liar and can't hide things well.
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When they ask, I tell them the truth. My oldest asked at a young age, maybe 5, and I asked her what she thought and she said he didn't think Santa was real. I wasn't going to continue to lie and say that he was, so I told her that she was right.
Some may say I'm wrong to tell her this information, but I don't think I should lie to my children about anything. I give them as much of the truth as possible in all situations because I want them to trust me and to always tell me the truth. When they are young teens and realize I was making up extravagant lies for one reason or another, I think they will then begin to question my authority on other life lessons I've taught them and wonder what else I've been trying to cover up. I'm just not that good a liar and can't hide things well.
When my kids asked, I told them I still believed n Santa and when they quit believing in Santa, Santa would no longer bring them presents.
My family still kept up with the Easter bunny tradition until my youngest was 6 or 7.
Good luck to you and yours.
My 10 year old doesn't believe anymore, but she did last Christmas, at least to a degree. She knows to play along so her brothers don't lose the magic yet either. My 8 year old probably doesn't believe, but the 6 year old definitely does. So we just go with it. Even when they all stop believing, Santa will still bring 3 presents.
We never played it up too much, but we did give a gift from Santa each year. My son figured it out last Christmas though when he was five. He pretty much knew, and said in a very serious voice "Mom, be honest - is Santa real or is it just you and daddy?" So I asked what he thought and he said "I think it's you." So I told him. He hasn't lost his first tooth yet but already knows the tooth fairy isn't real either.
We don't do the easter bunny.
She'll figure it out. No need to tell her. If she asks specifically then ask her what she believes in, if she still does then tell her that is ok.
That's how we handled it.
But school and friends are usually the undoing of the belief.
Well, we are a bit different in this department bc we tell our kids the truth about it as little children. We just say that Santa was a real guy who gave toys to children in secret, we tell them some of the history of it. Then we tell them that the tradition was so nice parents all over the world pretend to be Santa to surprise their happy children on Christmas morning. My kids still love pretending in Santa coming etc. hasn't created a problem for us, it's a fun game for them. We do tell them not to tell other kids bc some parents play the Santa pretend game differently. So maybe you can just tell her how it is a fun tradition meant to fill children with the joy of the holiday season and read up on the history of Santa. Good luck!
My older 4 were told pretty young, they had kinda made me mad and it came flying out. With the younger 4 we just told my 12 year old last year. I thought he knew and was just playing along, he didn't but he liked being in on the secret for the other 3. My older 4 also like to play Santa, they stayed up late, wrap presents and set them out. It was great bonding time for us.
My oldest figured it out when she was in third grade. I told her "you must believe to receive" so as not to ruin it for her little sister. She has taken it quite literally, lol.
My youngest is 11 and just this year asked about Santa. I couldn't lie any longer and told her the truth. I was so relieved! I love the spirit of Santa and we celebrate that at Christmas time, but the deception is very stressful to me. She just asked about the tooth fairy a couple of months ago. No one has asked about the Easter Bunny but I'm sure they've put 2 and 2 together.
I wouldn't say anything until she asks. You need to determine now what camp you're in - tell her the truth or ride out the Santa train as long as you can and be sure of what your going to say when she questions you. I fumbled over the whole thing so I just told her the truth. I was not prepared.
I never actually tell them. I just say things like, if you believe he is real! Or I think he's real. Or some things are just magic! Eventually they figure it out themselves and then they usually play along for a few years.
My hubby had some negative experiences with the discovery of the extended lying involved. So we don't do the "it's real" thing with this stuff. But we DO do it. We have all of them, but son knows that it's mommy/daddy. He still loves the story, especially the real story of St. Nicholas and his giving spirit. He still has fun with all the holidays.
Being truthful has paid off for us also because my son is on the Autism spectrum and is VERY literal. This would have been a potential nightmare having to tell him the truth later.
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My hubby had some negative experiences with the discovery of the extended lying involved. So we don't do the "it's real" thing with this stuff. But we DO do it. We have all of them, but son knows that it's mommy/daddy. He still loves the story, especially the real story of St. Nicholas and his giving spirit. He still has fun with all the holidays.
Being truthful has paid off for us also because my son is on the Autism spectrum and is VERY literal. This would have been a potential nightmare having to tell him the truth later.
Updated
My hubby had some negative experiences with the discovery of the extended lying involved. So we don't do the "it's real" thing with this stuff. But we DO do it. We have all of them, but son knows that it's mommy/daddy. He still loves the story, especially the real story of St. Nicholas and his giving spirit. He still has fun with all the holidays.
Being truthful has paid off for us also because my son is on the Autism spectrum and is VERY literal. This would have been a potential nightmare having to tell him the truth later.
Updated
My hubby had some negative experiences with the discovery of the extended lying involved. So we don't do the "it's real" thing with this stuff. But we DO do it. We have all of them, but son knows that it's mommy/daddy. He still loves the story, especially the real story of St. Nicholas and his giving spirit. He still has fun with all the holidays.
Being truthful has paid off for us also because my son is on the Autism spectrum and is VERY literal. This would have been a potential nightmare having to tell him the truth later.
We still do easter baskets, christmas stockings and santa gifts, my girls are 11 & 15. At some point they just figured it out that Santa is an idea, tradition and story more than a physical person.
I bet if you daughter was pressed she'd admit that no one can really visit every chimney in the world in one night. Holding on to the love of Santa can be life long. One day soon you'll have a chance to talk to her about that, when she asks. Until then let her enjoy.
