When my children were young, I,too, struggled with this same dilemma. Finally, I decided that my children believing that I tell them the truth always was more important than their believing in a fantasy and then later finding the truth and perhaps never trusting me again. I did wait to tell each one until they brought up the subject. But, all along from day one, they were taught the true meaning of the holidays and so when it came down to telling them about Santa, I told them the story of Saint Nicholaus and told them that people decided to keep the tradition of giving as a Christian act and after St. Nick died, Santa Claus became the symbol of the act of giving on Christmas and eventually came to look like he looks today. I told them that it is not Santa Claus himself who is "real", but rather the spirit of Christ and the gift of God to the world in the form of His Son that Santa Claus is copying by giving gifts to all the children. I also told them that only children in need were given things by St. Nick, but now all children are given things. I also told them that this tradition came to involve even nonbelievers. I continued to emphasize that the holiday itself is about the birth of Christ and God's gift to us. All my children accepted this because it is the truth, and they seemed to think it all made sense that way, and I'm happy to say that they always trusted me, still do, and they know to this day that if Mom says it, it's the gospel! How early to tell them depends on when they are asking and only you, their mom, can determine if they're old enough to be told. Used to be seven to eight, but everything is earlier nowadays. I would think that seven, though, is still when some begin to question. As for the Easter Bunny, my kids figured that one out by themselves. By the time they were a certain age, they were smart enough to understand that there was no such thing as a huge bunny delivering candy everywhere and they asked me, "Are you the Easter bunny?" and I said "yes" and when they asked why, I told them because somebody decided long ago that it was fun to pretend in a great big bunny, and all the parents liked hiding the eggs and the baskets of goodies, so we do that for fun. They always knew the real meaning of Easter and since there's no real connection with that to this bunny, as there is with St. Nick and Santa and Christmas, it wasn't a big deal to them. They thought it was funny actually that adults went around expecting children to believe such as that. They still loved Easter and to this day, they still like to get treats "from the Easter bunny", though they all are parents themselves today! The bunny and Santa, though -- I did explain the difference, that one was once real, but different, and the other (bunny) was just for fun. Actually, when they learned of the Santa story, they pretty much figured out the Easter bunny themselves. Same for the tooth fairy.
