What Would You Have Done in My Place?

I would not leave my kids with a 17 yo boy that I don't know, probably not with a 17 yo boy that I did know either.

No, you did not overreact. I would have done exactly the same thing. It was rude of her in the first place not to tell you about the alcohol rule and that the kids could not be there. You have every right to be pissed off because of that.

A 17 year old boy that I do not know? Are you frigging kidding me?

You acted like a responsible parent. I would NEVER leave my children with a 17 year old I didn't know - especially a boy. It's not a big deal though really, she tried to be accommodating and failed and you did the right thing.

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YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!!

I would NEVER leave my child with someone I do not know nor whom they do not know...EVER EVER EVER!!!

I don't care if someone thinks I over reacted...these are MY kids...MY gifts from God and I'm not going to just hand them over to ANYONE so I can go to a party!

Yes, you did the right thing. I also suggest that your husband was disappointed that you wouldn't be there with him to enjoy the fun.

About whether or not to leave the kids would depend on how well I knew the person who found the babysitter and how many children and what ages they were. And your children's ages? I've been in similar situations and even tho, technically the kids aren't supposed to be there they do go back and forth and if they don't you can.

I don't understand why the kids couldn't be around alcohol because the party is on private property unless that's a rule of the neighborhood association managing the club house.

Anyway, I think you did right. I would show your husband some appreciation for him wanting you there. That was a compliment.

I think you made the best out of an unreasonable situation. If the police had come earlier to ensure that no youngsters were to attend, the friend should have phoned your husband or yourself to notify you of this significant change.

Obviously, she (the friend's wife) is very comfortable with this young person, and I also think you did the right thing. Me, I would have been PO'ed that there was no earlier warning of the change, and if I *had* dropped my child off with Young Stranger (male or female-- and I wouldn't have) I don't think I would have been able to enjoy myself enough to make it worth staying.

Good call, mama.

I'm guessing that the wife doesn't have any kids?
If she does, and has a SHRED of common sense, she would never have suggested that. She MIGHT have suggested she knew of someone if you were interested in talking to them and left it at that. Obviously she didn't know in advance that the constable was coming around and that the kids would be problematic. (which I don't really understand anyway-- is that a cultural thing or what? Military? I'm clueless here... can someone else help me out? Private party at a home.... who is regulating whether there can be kids on the guest list??)

First off-you did the right thing! I have no problems with a 17 year old babysitter or a male sitter, but ALL of my childcare and sitters have to be checked out by me, come from a reputable reference etc. No way would I just do this.

Secondly-I find it BIZARRE that the kids couldn't be where alcohol was? You were there! I've never heard such nonsense! That sounds like a very weird and trumped up situation where maybe they didn't want kids there but had been totally remiss in mentioning that with the invite. I wouldn't worry about what any of those folks think!

I would have taken my kids home. There is no way I'd leave them with someone I didn't know.

Well done, mama. I trust your husband was suitably supportive of you to all his friends. Cold eggs for breakfast if he did not...

It was beyond rude of the hostess to not make the "no kids; we're serving alcohol" point explicitly clear to your husband and grrrrr to him for not telling you if he knew.

Lucky break for your since you really didn't want to go in the first place! <g> Hope you enjoyed your evening!

no way in hell i would've left 'em w/that kid. he's 17 for crying out loud, a BOY, and I'VE NEVER MET HIM. i don't think so. i would happily go home w/my babies. can't see why husband would be upset, but probly just b/c you left him not b/c of the mommy decision you made.

I wouldnt have left my kids with someone I didnt know unless it was a close family member or good friend who was also leaving her kids at the same time and convinced me it was cool. Consideration of the kids ages would play a factor as well. Like if they were old enough to come "find" you if things went awry...or could reach you by cell phone.

You def. did the right thing. You do not know this boy, so why the hell would you leave him alone with your small children? Has he even taken a child care/babysitting class or child and infant CPR? She was crazy to think that you would leave your kids with some teenager you do not know on her say so.

I wouldn't have left my kids with a babysitter that I don't know.

When I went to visit my sister out of town and only had my one child (I have two now), she suggested we go out and leave our then 7 month old with one of her high school students (she's a teacher).

No way on earth was I comfortable with that!

So...the only thing that matters here is that YOU did what YOU thought was right for YOUR family.

You did the right thing. I'd never leave my kid with a teenager I really didnt know. Why the heck didntthey put on the invitations adult only.,

I would have done the same thing. I will never leave my kids with a teenager or anyone I don't know.

I wouldn't have handled it any differently. I wouldn't leave my kids with someone I didn't know, especially not some teenage boy. I wouldn't worry about it!

=)

Late response, but not a snowball's chance in he!! that I would let my child stay with someone I don't know WELL. Not a chance. I actually find it quite disturbing that there are some folks out there that would...

I would have done the same thing. My daughter is mine, and I do what's best/safest for her, regardless of what others think. If the other adults at the party viewed you as overreacting, then so be it. I'm sure that if they were in your shoes they would have felt like you did.

i would have trouble leaving my child with a female stranger let alone a male. not that there is anything wrong with a male. but he is a stranger.

no way. its odd for a boy to want to babysit. i know that is sexist but lets face it there arent many boys that are all about babysitting. go with your gut. better safe than sorry.

I would never have left my kids with someone they didn't know, or I knew nothing about. And what kind of person extends and invitation and isn't specific about what type of party it is. I am sure had you know it was an adult only party you would have made arrangements for your children. You were right, you went with your gut, nothing wrong with that.

right decision--good for you...........my daughter was in 1st grade and teacher said she was old enough to walk home alone-----i asked her if she had kids---no.........so i told her to remember this moment when she had kids!!!! no way was a little girl going to walk home alone,especially if she was MINE !!!!

You did the right thing, absolutely. Afterward, did you and your husband talk about the situaiton?

Had he been told before that the party was "adults only" and forgot? You said you found out "on the way" that it was at a clubhouse and not someone's home -- did he know that and forgot to mention it until you were in the car and on the way? Or was he as blindsided as you were, and he'd been told, or assumed, that it was a family party and kids would be welcome? It would be good for your future reference to know if this totally caught him off guard too (which it may have) or if he had had some earlier warning that it was a grown-up party and he forgot, or should have clarified if he wasn't quite sure. I'm NOT blaming him for the hosts' being clueless. This may all be a moot point if this was a one-time thing,the hosts gave out wrong info or failed to let people know kids weren't welcome, and he is usually great about keeping details straight. Unfortunately I do have a couple of friends whose husbands are nice guys but not any good at asking things like "Are kids welcome" or "What time does the party start" (9 p.m.? Honey, it's an adult party!) and so on. I hope it's not the case with him!

I too find the comment about "the constables showing up" a bit odd. If the law is turning up, I would think the party had already gotten rowdy--?? Unless this club house has its own security guards and they came along and saw kids and got nervous? Plenty of kids go to parties where adults are drinking alcohol. That sounds a bit off to me. If the case were that the club house's own internal rules didn't permit alcohol at any party with kids present, that would make some sense....But it's over now. Just be cautious with invitations from this couple in the future, I'd say.

i would have done the same thing. you were absolutely right. i would have kinda hoped that hubby would have come with me and none of us stayed...but i guess it's understandable he'd want to stay. SUPER rude the way it was handled on their part though. my company had a "party" at a lake one time and there was no alcohol allowed (per the park), it was this big family thing the company did for us. of course there were people who just had to bring beer. i thought it was pretty classless. they got busted too! it's the host's responsibility to check these things.

I would have done exactly the same thing. And I think I would have been a teensy bit grateful for the excuse to get out of having to stay at the party! Indeed you cannot be handing your children off to people you haven't vetted.

I would have done what you did. I wouldn't feel comfortable handing my kids over to a stranger..even for a few hours. Though it was nice of her to give you the offer.

Nope... you did the absolutely right thing!

I would have done exactly what you did...no questions asked!

~That was an easy one too! If I do not know you, I will NOT be leaving my children alone with you. Easy.

I absolutely think you did the right thing! I wouldn't have left my children with a stranger either. Sounds like you are a good mom and a good wife. Keep up the good work!

You did the right thing. I for sure would not have left my kids with a kid I didn't know!

Ummmmm - No way! And who cares what those people think since they are not the ones responsible for the safety of your kids. It is just an added plus that you did not want to go in the first place. Good for you.

I know I'm late but I'm with you, I never would have left my kids with someone I don't know regardless of age or sex. Also I think it's very rude of the friends who threw the party to not let you know in advance that the party would be at the club house and adults only. A simple phone call could have alleviated that whole issue. So this is not your fault but the fault of those who threw the party.

You sure did do the right thing. This is so funny to me as I had a friend who thought I would leave my girls with a stranger overnight so I could go out and "Party" with her. I don't even "party" so it was even more crazy to me. She even had the nerve to get mad at me for refusing to leave my kids with this stranger overnight. I'm not even sure she actually knew this person she wanted me to leave my kids with.

I would have said "Thank you so much for trying! I simply won't leave the kids with a stranger, though I'm sure he's a good boy, it's just a rule that is important to me". I agree with you.

When you do the right thing, you are bound to get some disapproval - usually from others who realize they don't do the right thing. The only people who would disapprove are the ones who don't have kids yet, the ones who left their kids (or would have if they were there) because it is more about them having a good time than their kids' safety, and the ones who might have known that the boy was really a good kid. Always better to err on the side of caution when it comes to your children.

Hurray for you! You didn't know the sitter so you didn't leave your kids and you let your husband stay and enjoy the party.

I would have done the samething. I would never leave my son with someone I do not know no matter how nice someone else say they are. Those are your children so who cares what they think of you for looking out for the safety of your kids. They sould feel bad for even trying to force that on you.

I would have left too, BUT I am really curious to know WHY it wasn't clear earlier where the party was and if kids were ok, Is this hubby's oversite about the address, or is it their oversite about no kids??? THat would be my ammo, if anyone came back at me for choosing to keep my kids safe.

AND how reliable is a baby sitter you find in 10 mins. I can't think of a 17 yo boy just sitting around eager to watch a bunch of kids they don't know for the night?? Weird weird weird!!!

You made the safety of your children top priority.
Should certainly be a decision you can live with
whether anyone else understands or not.
Nuf said

I would have done the same thing. Boy or girl sitter, no matter.
Her last minute efforts to get a sitter were meant well, but so much is not right with it.
1) My kids always needed time to get warmed up to a new sitter...we had to start talking about it a day or 2 before hand so they could process the idea.
2) I always met the sitter, knew the parents, got references before I hired anyone.

I would have done the same thing.

No question, you did the right thing. No good parent leaves their kids with a stranger, period.

Also, good for you for being calm & collected & telling your DH to stay. That shows that you have a lot of class.

AbsolUtely you did the right thing!! Wonder if she would have left her kids with a total stranger? I wouldn't worry about what the other moms think. You have to do what's best for you and your family always, even if it isn't the "popular" thing to do. Sure, I would love to go to an all adult party without kids, but if I am going to worry the entire time?? What's the fun in that? I think the lady felt bad and was definitely trying to accommodate you so her intentions were good, but she shouldn't be surprised at your reaction.

You did exactly the right thing. You can't leave your children with a babysitter you don't know. If you were sweet and polite, and it certainly sounds like you were, then you could not have improved on what you did in the situation. Your hostess was stuck between a rock and a hard place after constables showed up, and tried to find a sitter to help, so she also did the right thing. No harm, no foul.
So I just read the other posts. I'm a little surprised that some of you object to boys being babysitters. My son sat with friends' children, though not often. He was actually the preferred babysitter for one of our friends when her own teens couldn't keep their little brother. My daughter did more babysitting than he did, but he did his share. We also had neighborhood kids that we knew sit with ours when they were younger, including two brothers.
I don't think it was "wierd" of this kid to agree to step in and help out at the last minute. He probably would have been just fine. BUT, you still did the correct thing in caring for your own children, and I certainly hope your husband sees that!

I would have done the same thing.
I am wondering if she made up the constable thing. We go to parties at a club house that serve alcohol a couple of times a year. There are always children there. Maybe she just didn't want kids there.

so this party was being held in the clubhouse of a trailer park? then yes, you could be perceived as being a giant snob and rude to boot. she went to all that work, but you were to much of a princess to except it and trust her judgement. Trailer parks aren't just a place to live, they have their own culture. that is the thing i miss the most. Everybody helping each other, and knowing who you can trust. like you I wouldn't have felt comfortable leaving my kids with strangers, just preparing you if this is the attitude they take.

For all you know he could be a child molester...You did the right thing. I would've done the same thing. Your husband should've supported you & your decision & gone home w/you instead of whining about it. He should not have put the party ahead of you, his family, especially if he stayed at the party w/o you...I didn't see you mention that here but he should've definitly been more supportive & don't worry about what anyone else thinks. You do what YOU feel is right!

Why do you care what everyone else thinks? You did what was right for YOUR family.