What to Do If a Store Employee Tells People That Your Child Was Stealing, but He

Good grief... NO you don't get a lawyer and you don't sue. I can't believe you went there with this.

The real story will come out and the more you make of it the more it appears like you are defending him.

Maybe you should spend time teaching him the importance of friends he chooses to be around and how their actions will reflect on his reputation as well.

Learn a good lesson from this experience. It's not sue worthy... you'll be laughed at if you say that out loud to others.

No, you say "actually when the facts came out, it was a friend of his that drank the Gatorade - he's making better choices in who he hangs out with now. Thanks for asking us directly and not spreading rumors". Good grief, suing for that, REALLY? Good time for your son/grandson(you used both in your story btw) to learn that the people he surrounds himself with are a reflection on him as well...

Good heavens. No, you don't get a lawyer. You're focusing on the wrong thing.

As others have said, you teach the child not to hang out with kids who pull "pranks" like that because it's stealing. (Drinking something without paying is stealing.) It's also disgusting - putting a bottle back on the shelf where perhaps some little kid could find it, now that the childproof seal is broken. Let your son know that choices he makes have repercussions, and that he needs to have exemplary behavior going forward.

If the manager knows your son didn't do it but the employee is telling people he did, then you let the manager know you won't be patronizing the store anymore since it's too risky to be in the company of this employee. You do this quietly, without emotion, without threats - just a simple statement. Maybe the manager will straighten out the employee, maybe not, but that's not your call. You control what you can - your own actions and your supervision of your child.

If you make a huge deal about this, you will reinforce people's idea of your son's guilt. Stop. Take the high road. Say, "No, that's an error. As soon as I heard about this, I took my son right down there, and the manager has confirmed it. I have no idea why some people would spread this rumor." And that's all you say. The more you rant, the worse it looks for you. And you can't use terms like "drunk some Gatorade" or "questing us" because it doesn't make you look particularly reliable. Let this go.

ETA: After reading your So What Happened...You have just got to get past the idea of "good family" being a barrier to bad behavior. Define "good family" please. Sometimes kids go astray, but sometimes people look at whether a family is employed, active volunteers in the community, personally charming, etc. and they act like that's insurance against kids being thieves or drug addicts or sexual deviants. It's just not. You can't "tell by looking" whether someone is stealing or beating their wife or anything else. Everyone is capable, my dear. The definition of a "good family" is one that takes this boy's actions seriously and imposes consequences. As should you. Get past the apology - stop waiting passively for it. Take your son in to the manager, have your son tell the manager he won't associate with that boy unless and until the boy makes restitution AND does some volunteer work, and show that you are deserving of the honorable treatment you want. If you hold your head a lot higher and stop with the righteous indignation, you'll defeat the rumors a lot more effectively than if you keep going with this "small town/everyone's talking" routine.

if you lie down with flea-ridden dogs..........
khairete
S.

Tell your child that sometimes we are judged by the company we keep, and that if we don't want to have a bad reputation, then we need to be more careful about the people we hang around with. Either he needs to exert a positive influence on these friends or he needs to find some new friends.

Updated

Tell your child that sometimes we are judged by the company we keep, and that if we don't want to have a bad reputation, then we need to be more careful about the people we hang around with. Either he needs to exert a positive influence on these friends or he needs to find some new friends.

No lawyers.
But it's a good lesson about what happens when you keep company with a bad crowd.
If one makes trouble - everyone gets splashed with the mud and you're guilty by association.
This isn't the stores fault - it's his 'friends' fault - and the blame should be laid where it belongs.
If this were my son - he wouldn't be seeing these friends anymore.

That this other kid comes from a good family means nothing.
Good families can have a bad apple.

No you should not get a lawyer. That's a bit extreme. Surely you've had gossip or lies spread about you or your family before - it's unpleasant, but if it comes up, you set the record straight and move on. If you are that bothered by it (and sounds as if you are) you can ask the manager to handle the employee (I'm guessing you already have) or you can speak directly to the employee and ask him/her to stop spreading falsehoods about your son/grandson. Although, quite frankly, that might make the employee just start telling people you're kind of over the top. Know what I mean? Might be better just to let this go.

I think I'd just have your son stop spending so much time with this kid for the time being. That should send a message more than anything - to your son, the kid and anyone else who cares. Honestly though - people don't tend to care about this stuff. Not really - they are too busy with their own lives to worry about whether someone drank a Gatorade. Or they won't in a week.

Rumors go around about kids all the time, some are true and some are not, but they all die down eventually. I understand being mad but getting a lawyer is more then just a little extreme.

Of course you don't get a lawyer.

What you DO is teach your son how important a good reputation is, and how quickly it can be damaged. Your son hung out with a guy who steals. If your son is old enough to be in town by himself or with friends, he's old enough to learn how to walk away from a situation, how to figure out which friends are reliable, and what makes a good friend.

Store managers can't discriminate, or investigate a small theft too thoroughly. The entire group is often banned or considered guilty. My child once went to a mall with a couple of friends. My child was looking at something in a store window when one of his friends decided to lean over the balcony and spit down to the first floor. Security was called after someone witnessed the guy spitting on shoppers on the first floor, and my child and the other guy (both of whom did not spit, and there was no dispute that only one of the guys did the spitting) were all escorted from the mall with great haste.

That lesson was learned. I hope your son learns a good lesson from this experience. Don't be outraged at his being accused or lumped together with the thief, use this as a teaching moment, calmly and firmly.

What you should do is use this as a learning experience for your son both in terms of how easily a reputation can be tarnished, and also how important it is to choose your friends wisely. The actions of the people you hang out with will reflect on you, good or bad.

Beyond that, let it go. The bigger deal you make about it, the longer people will keep talking about it. Answer anyone who asks with the simple truth "The store employee was confused. It wasn't him, it was someone else." Don't name the other kid, don't complain about the employee, just say the most simple truthful answer - it wasn't your son.

I think you should post on FB about it and tell exactly what happened. Then everyone will know that the one boy stole, and his parents should be the ones that deal with him regarding that action.

This way everyone will know you were there and know what happened.