The executive secretary at my office's husband died over the weekend from cancer. She is near retirement age - and this death was not unexpected, he was in hospice. We are a very small family owned company without many resources. What ideas do you have for things to do for her that are not super costly.
Thank you for your ideas.
Thank you everyone for your help. We ended up sending a honey baked ham company dinner to her from the company. One of the people from the office will attend the funeral - we are small, only 4 including her - and one person is already on vacation. The other person will be keeping the office open. Each of us also sent a sympathy card. I plan to bring her some dinners over the coming weeks once she is back at the office.
Have you considered donating to Hospice House in his name. If you've never had to deal with a Hospice facility first hand you may not realize how amazing these people truly, truly are. Even if he had in-home Hospice I think it would probably mean a lot to her to take up a donation in his name. In my opinion it's better than flowers or plants.
When my cousin passed away we bought my aunt a tree :) it is planted in her yard and every time anyone in the family sees it we are all reminded of him.
Ya'll could pitch in to buy her a week's worth of meals from Delicious Dinners or some place like that. Or you could create a meal schedule so that each of you can prepare her a meal to bring to her so she doesn't have to worry about cooking during this mournful time.
When my neighbor's wife passed away, he appreciated the food more than anything because he was just too distressed to feed himself. He told me months later how much that meant to him.
Bring food to her every couple of days for the next few WEEKS!! It will be appreciated. It doesn't have to be much. A caserole, pasta dish, a small ham, breads, etc. Ask if she has errands to run that you guys can help with.
Also, attend the wake/funeral.
After a loved someone dies, the hardest part is the loneliness and solitude. Invite her over for dinner or for board or card games. Get others that like her or her husband to do the same.
Be a friend and listen to her talk about her husband and have a box of tissue available for the tears.
Good luck to you and yours.
You already have good ideas. Food is traditional - food that can be used right away for any family that comes, or that can be put in the freezer so when your friend needs a meal later on she doesn't have to put too much effort into it. Definitely call her. Take her out to lunch or supper. Even better, invite her to your house. Send her a little note or card every week for the next year or so (or longer). It's after the service is over and the company has gone home that the hard part really begins.
I sent a neighbor a fruit arrangement from Edible Arrangements after his wife (and my friend) died last year and he loved it. It was something practical.
Also, bring by meals for her not just now, but in the coming weeks when others disappear on her. Find out what some of her favorite meals are/preferences and perhaps spread the word in the office to see if others want to help out. The last thing she'll feel like doing is cooking.
Just be there for her. I recently lost my father and what meant the most to me were my co-workers just acknowledging my loss and attending the funeral services. The flowers were nice but honestly just being supportive is what she needs.
In our office we usually sign a card from everyone and then take up a collection. If the family states a specific charity to donate to, then we do, otherwise we give the money to the family to help offset bills.
You can house-sit, walk the dog, take care of financial issues - like helping her through the paper work -, and any other item your friend will need to get through. Perhaps she has family coming to the funeral and you can offer a room to the guests, or a pick up/ride to the airport. This will save the expense and solitude of a hotel room. A pot luck and shoulders to cry or rest on...Many Blessings
You have some good suggestions. Plants are nice, but when I was grieving, I couldn't remember to water them and some died.
Offer to stay at her house during the service if you are not attending that. Burglars take notice of those houses that might be empty at that time.
Send her a card, even if a group one was sent from the office. Holidays and anniversaries (if you know the dates) are especially hard and it would be nice to be there for her at those times.
Ask her what she needs periodically. Right now she might not be able to process what she needs.
Send a nice plant or flowers. If they are having a service, pay for a mass in his name. If you enjoy cooking, send over a home cooked meal as I'm sure she isn't up for cooking. Anything you do, will be appreciated.
