What to Do About This Gift...

You could exchange them and let it go. If she asks, then be honest.

Or you could see about converting them to clip-ons and showing them off when you see her.

Absolutely exchange them. It's okay. There's absolutely no point in leaving them lay in a drawer when you can get something else you can absolutely use.

I suspect she was encouraging you to step out and make some changes. That's it. Perhaps she thought that while you are changing other aspects of your "outer" self, that you might decide to re-pierce your ears as well. Maybe she thinks you *should* or maybe she just thinks you *might*... but it sounds like the gift is a nice one and I wouldn't exchange it or return it.

Hold on to it. You might yet change your mind. When you see her at Christmas (less than 3 months from now) and she asks about them, just tell her you haven't repierced your ears and aren't sure if you will. But that you are holding on to the earrings until you decide. If you decide not to, would she be opposed to you converting them into a pendant or something else that you would be able to wear more often? Ask her then. Then you'll know what to do.
But the fact that they showed up on your doorstep yesterday as a surprise by no means requires that you ACT on anything, in any way (returning, piercing, exchanging, converting) TODAY.

Are you sure they were ordered after the conversation on Facebook? Maybe the shipment just went through or the order processed afterwards. Maybe she'd already bought them and was giving you a hint that something was coming. I don't know.

Any chance you could just ask her? I would with my sisters. I'd be like "Is this supposed to be a hint?" in a playful way.

I have learned over the years it's much better to just ask that think "is this rude?". She probably did not intend to be rude. Why would she? It's a gift. She meant it well. But if you don't get what the point was, just ask her. It doesn't have to be awkward.

Good luck :)

I think she's just hinting that you get your ears pierced. If you don't want to pierce them, hang on to the earrings until the day that you do. I haven't worn earrings in years, although there was a time when I wouldn't have considered going out without them. However, I'm pretty sure I'll start wearing them again in the future, esp. since my holes are still open.

Now that you're single, you never know, you might start wanting to wear earrings again.

I'm curious as to why you have kept the earrings from your mother in law without telling her that your ears aren't pierced and are content to let her keep giving you gifts you have no use for, but are peeved at your sister.
Do what you want with them - exchange them, regift them, or add them to your collection of useless items.

Once a gift is given its up the the receiver to decide what to do with it. If you can't use this gift then yes exchange it for something more to your liking. If dear sister asks then explain that you exchanged it for XXXX which is something you will use and treasure.

If you would wear earrings that aren't pierced: You don't have to have pierced ears to wear earrings. Any jeweler can put "screw-backs" or clips onto them. If they are good quality jewelry, get a jeweler to do it, but if they're costume jewelry you can do it yourself if you're OK with using wire cutters to take off the posts and getting the right adhesives to attach the new backs.

If you don't like the idea of wearing them as clips or screw-backs, but you do like the earrings themselves, think about whether they could be converted into a brooch or make a pendant for a necklace. It always surprises me that folks don't consider converting jewelry to other forms. Then when she starts to peer at you at Christmas and say, "Where are the earrings I sent?" you can hold up your lovely pendant or point to your brooch and say, "Here! I think you just forgot that I don't have pierced ears, but I loved these so much that I had this made! Thank you!"

I do not have pierced ears and never have. My brother's a jeweler and of course believes that every woman should have pierced ears so he can sell or give her earrings! But over the years he has had earrings made for me with clip or screw backs. It is an odd sensation at first if you're not used to wearing non-pierced earrings but if they're well done they shouldn't hurt. (By the way, screw backs are harder to locate but for me they are far more comfortable than clips because you can adjust the screws but not the clips!).

Regarding your sister -- sounds like you resent the idea that she sent you the earrings, as you put it, " *after* we had this conversation." I agree that it's exasperating! Maybe she's a huge earring-lover and figured if she sent you great ones you would get the holes opened up again--? Anyway, either have the courage of your conviction that you just don't wear earrings, and exchange them if you can, or convert them to something else if you like. But please don't let some jewelry create a rift between you, especially considering her nice note about new beginnings.

I think you're over thinking it. She wants you to have a new start....aka, re-pierce your ears??

Personally, I would either re-gift them. Do you have a daughter with pierced ears? Or exchange them for a clip-on style and show them off to her at some point if you happen to be wearing them. I can't imagine someone waiting to see the earrings on you at some future date. That would not be in the spirit of giving them. They are yours to do with as you please.

I think it was a sweet gesture, but as many gift givers go, not the most insightful about your life. Just a quick question, does she normally give gifts you can readily use or have wanted? Or gifts that sit there unused?

If my sister did this to me I would have thought it was pretty funny. I can't imagine that her intent was anything but good.

I personally like the "starting new, getting a new hair cut/color, re-piercing ears etc. I have just never once thought of it as a burden in any way to take care of pierced ears.

my ears are pierced. i have 2 holes in each. i will wear the same quality stud earrings for months at a time. if i am going someplace and dressing up a bit i will switch one pair out for something a bit more flashy.
since you have kept the earrings from your mil and now your sister has giften you some nice ones, i sense that you secretly may want to wear these earrings. so go get pierced and wear studs all the time and change over to the fancier ones when your going out

Perhaps she wants them really and you are supposed to send them back to her?

Both studs and dangle earrings can be converted to clip on. Example product:

http://www.amazon.com/Clip-Earring-Converter-Pair-Turn/dp...

This idea amuses me, because it makes use of the gift but without giving into the apparent passive-aggressive intention that you should be pierced.

It's a response to your previous conversation. I hope that you'll do your ears again. The comment about how cute earrings would look with the new styles. She's just being fun. I'd keep them just in case, some day, that you decide to re-pierce them.

Also, you can buy, at just about any Hobby Lobby or other hobby shop, devices that bend the wire and make pierced earrings into clip earrings. This way you can wear them, pop them off if you need to talk on the phone, etc....then you can have them to wear sometimes if you have a special occasion.

If you don't want to get your ears pierced, then you can't wear the earrings.
It was a gift, one you can't/won't use.
Yeah, it's kind of rude - especially since she might bug you to wear them.
What you do with them is up to you - you don't need her permission.
You might want to gift them to your daughter (if you have one and she has pierced ears) and your sister can then see they are being used - but not by you.

pierced ears are so ubiquitous these days that everyone assumes it. i work in a lovely little shop with a gazillion amazing earrings, and not one single pair is a clip-on.

sucks to be me with my unpierced ears!

it does seem odd that your sister sent these AFTER you'd just had a conversation about it. but i don't think i'd cross over into considering it 'rude.' most likely she's hoping that having a beautiful pair might push you into changing your mind and getting 'em pierced.

obviously there's no need to do that. but i also wouldn't be resentful over it.

my bestie gave me a gorgeous pair of earrings for yule last year. she was so embarrassed that she'd forgotten my virgin ear status (my hair is always covering my ears, so a) few people notice that i never wear earrings and b) there's not much point in doing it). didn't faze me one bit. they're peacock-hued, so i dangle the little beauties from a peacock feather i keep on my Hera shrine, and get to love and enjoy them every day.

i absolutely don't think you're obliged to pierce your ears to accommodate your sister and this one gift. if she sent a gift receipt, she's clearly giving tacit permission to exchange them, right?

but no, i don't think she's actually rude. a little clueless OR a little pushy at worst.
khairete
S.

lol I"m with you what the heck. Its a little more involved than just her suggesting that you start wearing fancy scarves or something.

it's your past history with her and how you feel right now that will help you decide what to do. if she is overly sensitive and you feel lilke keeping the peace, get them pierced, if she is one to carry a joke too far and be mean then call her on it, if you just feel zen throw them in a drawer and let it be.

I suggest this is not passive-aggressive but I don't know your sister. This gift is something any one of my friends might give. I say this because she mentioned your new life. A new life with a new haircut. Perhaps she is offering you another new thing to do. I think the gift is sweet and thoughtful. She told you, you could exchange them. For me this confirms my thoughts on her gift.

I recently repierced my ears. I wear the same quality studs day and night, in the shower. Not a bother at all. I enjoy being able to put in more festive earrings from time to time.

I had them pierced at Piercing Pagoda's kiosk in the mall. The piercing and gold studs which can be worn all the time was $50. I was then able to purchase a second pair for $10. I chose ones with an Opal because my mom's engagement ring had an Opal. A chicken pecked it out while she was feeding them. She recovered it later, put it in a cup and her sister who was visiting to help with a new baby accidently threw it out. I have memories attached to other earrings.