What's Your Idea of "An Overscheduled Kid"? for an 8 Yr Old?

Overscheduled is when something starts to suffer. It depends on the kid, the family, and other dynamics.

My daughter does competitive cheer, gymnastics and dance. She is in activities 3 times a week (one day for each) plus competitions on weekends. She loves all of it, and she wouldn't want to give any of them up.

I did competitive gymnastics as a child and I went 4-6 days a week plus competitions.

I think the term "overscheduled" is used for parents who stick their kids in lots of activities for selfish reasons.

My daughter loves her schedule and she is disappointed if we have a weekend with no competitions.

I think over scheduled is:

baseball
soccer AND
basketball

ON TOP of school work or any other sport or after school activity.

It is my opinion that no more than TWO activities should be scheduled. Any more than that and it's overkill/over schedule.

I think some kids are over scheduled, and some kids are under scheduled, and it reeeeeeally depends on the kid and the family. "Overscheduled" is whenever it's affecting the children or the family negatively.

Take my son; He can be in 2 activities a day MOST days, and be perfectly happy. In fact, that's often what we do. 3 pushes it, if it's 3 every day, but 3 some days is fine. My friends, otoh, with YOUR schedule are exhausted, and miserable, and there's never enough time. They reeeeeeally need to cut back.

There was a comedian back when god was a boy who said:

"There are only 2 types of drivers; Maniacs & Morons. Maniacs are the drivers who drive faster than you, and morons are the drivers who drive slower than you!"

It's funny, but that one line has reeeeally informed my opinion about other people and how they live their lives. Specifically, how my knee jerk reaction is sooooooo typical. Maniacs and Morons.

People can look at our schedule and go gape mouthed, or they can look at our schedule and go : Different family with different needs.
____________________________________________________________
NO ONE says kids in daycare after school are 'overscheduled'. YET they go to school for 8 hours, go to daycare for 3 hours (1 before and 2 after school).

HOW is that any different from a SAHP who takes their kids to activities after school instead of having someone else (the daycare) provide them?

NO ONE (outside of homeschoolers;) say awayschool kids are over scheduled who only go to school, but that's EIGHT hours a day of classes. ((LOL I've had people tell me having my son in 4 hours of classes a day is insane... but we homeschool. 4 hours of activities in a 14 hour day? Um. 10 hours left to "fill"))

True extroverts are RARE (as rare as true leaders). Most people are at least somewhat introverted, and most people are followers (neither is a bad thing). True extroverts get as EXHAUSTED AND STRESSED OUT by being alone as a shy kid does thrust into a large group of kids. People often look at parents of extroverts like they're nuts as they try and provide a calm and relaxing and balanced life for them -aka LOTS of time around other people!!! (but no one looks at parents of shy kids like they're nuts).

Those 8yos with daily schedules... I can think of half a dozen reasons why that might be the BEST choice for their family / totally relaxing / normal (extroverts, sahps, short school days, no daycare, homeschoolers, physically active kids) just of the top of my head, and I'm sure there are dozens more . Are some kids "pushed to the brink by crazy parents"? Sure. Some kids are also beaten and molested by their parents.

IN GENERAL I've found that most parents are good people who UNDERSTAND THEIR KIDS and their kids' needs and personalities and try to do the best by them and USUALLY SUCEED.

I think very very FEW parents are actually just crazy overscheduling their kids.

Our 3rd grader generally does O. sport per season.
Baseball here sometimes means 3 games per week--2 weeknight games--and for in-school--that's PLENTY.

I do know parents with several kids who ALL have "something" every night of the week. No thanks.

I allow my kids 1 instrument plus 1 sport per year/season. That's plenty as far as I'm concerned.

"Overscheduled" is anything that negatively affects members of your family.

Some kids are driven, and want to do a million things. But if it takes away from your family time and stresses everyone else out, then it has to be limited. Usually one or two sports or clubs per kid is plenty.

Dunno.....when the child says "I don't want to?" When school, family, finances, etc begin to suffer? I'm not sure. I've seen extremes on like, Supernanny episodes. Some people think my son is overscheduled, but I think they're kinda silly for thinking that.....and maybe a little lazy for judging me and not doing anything for their kids. I find it strange that so many parents have determined "my kid will take 1 (or 2) activities and that is it!" like you've just made up the child's mind for them? Do you think my child "worries" about playing, swimming, and riding horses? Seriously? Riley touched on some interesting points, and after talking to mom about it she and dad agreed that I did MARKEDLY better at home with my attitude, with not getting in trouble in or out of school, and in my grades, when I was active in softball, track, volleyball, and soccer. When we had to take time off for whatever reason, my grades and attitude suffered. To this day, as a grown woman, I get very nervous and antsy if there's not something to "do". I need and seek out time alone on occasion (and love every minute of it) but I also need, perhaps more than my friends and the average person, interaction with peers and excitement.
For my just-turned 5 yr old, I "homeschool" him though he's really just in Pre-K anyway because of his late birthday. We do 6 little 20 minute games, crafts, or lessons throughout the day(different subjects on different days, but I really believe in educating through fun and play as well as the sit down times), and in between those are playtime with me, with his brother, with the dog outside, time that he likes to occasionally be alone (when he wants to be alone, we respect it; it's usually spent looking at a rodeo book, doing fancy moves with his lightsabers or playing soldier and patrolling the back yard). Tues and Fri he has kung fu, Wed is horseback riding lessons, Thurs we have a playdate/field trip, Sun is church, family day, and awanas. In the spring we drop horses and do soccer. During soccer season, there is 1 day of practice and one day of game every week. In the summer we drop soccer and do swim lessons, and awanas is on break during the summer. I don't think that's too much, more importantly, he doesn't think it's too much, but some do. I think it's a matter of what's right for the family, within reason. Joe has Mondays and Saturdays unscheduled for "whatever", Sundays are church and family, and Thursdays even though it's scheduled as a playdate, what we do is different from week to week.
My 23 month old does kindermusic with me on Monday, storytime at the library on Friday, and is also part of the playgroup on Thursday. He attends his brother's kung fu classes, but has 2 little friends his age (also little siblings of students) to play with.
Our neighbors have 2 children the same ages as my children, and they play a lot together either in my backyard/house or their backyard/house.

I see a lot of this where I live. Kids are pushed academically, socially and recreationally to create the perfect "well-rounded" kid.

I agree that many kids are over scheduled and I make a conscious effort not to over schedule mine. Already my (almost) 8 year old is starting to ask to participate in extracurricular activities though because all of her friends are involved in one thing or another. ( She currently swims and is interested in girl scouts). I feel like it's up to parents to limit it.

Frankly, we're so busy with school and work I can't figure out time to do it all! Most people I know whose kids do a lot either have family or they hire someone to take their kids from place to place.

I believe a child can have 1 sport, 1 instrument, school, and church if you are church goers. That's PLENTY. Any more would be too much.

I use myself as a barometer -- am I exhausted and feeling like I'm running crazy to get the kids around to their stuff? Then how must they feel? We need down time, THEY need down time, and I work to make sure they get it, cancel playdates or whatever. When I make plans, sign up for classes or sports, I try to think about the days in a week and figure out where their downtime will be.

I think School and one outside activity is enough. I also think that parents need to be mindful that Church Groups such as Bible Study - Teen/Youth Groups etc can and are an outside activity. I had friends in school that I could NEVER see outside of school unless I attended their Church because they were almost always there plus in choir and a sport! It can get crazy when parents do not see just how much time is taken up by these activities.

I agree and don't think my kids are overscheduled yet it seems circular. If I don't schedule my kids for some activities but every other kid is, they don't have anyone to play with... I do think kids are different though and some are homebodies, some want to be doing things etc so I try to take my cues from my kids. At the same time, I don't want them to complain they're bored just bc they're so used to having something structured they've forgotten how to just "play". So there's that balance too. What kind of gets me is the parents with so many activities scheduled for their kids that they're always complaining about being so busy and stressed and I want to say "then just stop!"

We did scouts, piano, church, and tae kwan do. Wednesday night church is over at 7:45 which was too late for us to have down time. She dropped TKD and we put her in a school where she doesn't need self defense. It is nice having our nights free.

I think kids need large chunks of playtime every day or at least 6 days per week. I started seeing we were overscheduled when my daughter seemed bugged at her lack of time to play. So, I guess you need to look at a) playtime and b) your child's feelings.

We do a music lesson 1x per week, plus 10 minute daily practice.
We do martial arts 2x per week (she can go more often if she wants)
We do girl scouts 1x per month
We did swiming in the summer 1x per week as well.
Now we have religious education 1x per week which is adding some stress. We will be taking a break from music due to this.

I had decided two activities per child was enough, but the majority of my 8-year-old's friends have at least 1 activity a day, every day and sometimes 2x a day on top of school. Unfortunately, this leaves us with no one to play with.
Her best friend's schedule looks like this:
Monday - karate takes two classes and instructs a third
Tuesday - gymnastics
Wednesday - guitar lessons and karate
Thursday - religious instruction and karate
Friday - swimming
Saturday - church and one other activity
Sunday - church/family day
He also does Cub Scouts but I can't remember when that falls. Needless to say, we don't see him as much as we'd like.

Our next door neighbor has a similar schedule and I've ran into her mom at the library getting books for her daughter's homework because the daughter doesn't have time. Yes, these are 8-year-olds, and it drives me nuts but it is very typical for my area.

yes, I think that a lot of parents are overscheduling their children. there are various reasons for it. But when my boys are older and are wanting to start activities, if we can afford it, they can each do 1 sport/activity and that is it!!! kids need to have time to just relax and not have to worry. school is of course the main priority and focus. I dont think kids should be running around like a chicken with their head cut off all day every day. it isnt good for them or the parents either. kids need to be able to go out and run and play or hang out inside and read or play with stuff. just my opinion, but i think that is is just plain mean to have kids so busy that they never get time to just "be", they shouldnt be running from teh minute they get up until they go to bed.

Yes, I do see a lot of parents who over schedule their kids. However, I also notice that sometimes it just seems to happen that "everything" seems to get planned for the same time period. We recently went through a 2 week period where we had things going on 5 nights a week (10 out of 14), then the following 2 weeks we were only out 2 nights out of 14.

Of course, activities also depend on the individual child, as well as the family dynamics. I think one of the worst things I've seen happen is when the family is so overscheduled that they don't have an opportunity to eat a meal together all week long.

Our family rule for our son is he can do 2 activities. It has recently been cub scouts and soccer. Before that it was gymnastics and scouts. I agree with you - it seems too crazy/busy to have your child doing something every day. I kind of did my own poll casually asking a lot of people we know and pretty much every single person had the same rule as us. So, I am not seeing these over-scheduled kids although I hear about them.

Kids who do not have enough "down time" really suffer. They lack the imagination, creative thinking, and leadership qualities they will need to thrive in a changing society. Most 8 yr olds in the US are overscheduled.

Article URL: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/233470.php

I used to be one of those parents, like you, who judged other parents for putting their kids in what I thought were too many activities.

Then I had a son who grew up to be a soccer freak. And I do mean freak. He had to take a week off recently to rest his knee and by the end of the week was going stir crazy because he hadn't played soccer in 6 days. He is 9 yo and spends 6 1/2 hours a week playing soccer, including games, and it is his choice. His grades are good. He has plenty of friends and enjoys playing with them when he's not at soccer - but he prefers to be at soccer. We have practice M (2hrs), W, & F and games Sat & Sun. He also plays soccer when we're at my daughter's practices too. My daughter (8 yo) has practice M, T, Th and games Sat & Sun - she's a mini soccer freak herself, lol. We've asked her repeatedly if she wants to slow down and we get an emphatic NO every time.

I agree with Cheerful M - overscheduled is when something starts to suffer. I'm sure you would think my kids are extremely overscheduled - but they are happy, healthy, well-adjusted kiddos and it works for us.