A.B.
I agree with most of the posts. People just say it for conversation. When I had my son everyone asked me when was I going to "try" for a girl? It's just conversation. Boys are fabulous and if I could have 5 more I'd have 'em in a second.
I am curious, what is wrong with boys? Everyone, it seems, what to have, or wants YOU to have a girl.
I have a one year old son and am expecting my second in Sept. We just found out today that baby#2 will be a boy. My husband and I are thrilled. He loves the idea of having "his two boys" and personally, I would rather have a house full of boys than a house full of girls. We were just praying for a healthy baby and we are getting a healthy BOY.
It seems like everyone I tell, people at work, etc.... their reactions are the same. "Awwww, I was hoping it was a girl". "That's too bad, I thought for sure it was a girl".....and the list goes on.
Don't get me wrong, I don't ask this question because their responses affect me personally, just more because I don't know why that is everyone's response. I understand girls are more cutsie and there are so many pretty things out there for girls, but is that the only reason? Maybe you wonderful mom's can enlighten me : )
Like I said, I am completely thrilled with my 2nd son, I am just more or less trying to figure out what everyone else is thinking.
I agree with most of the posts. People just say it for conversation. When I had my son everyone asked me when was I going to "try" for a girl? It's just conversation. Boys are fabulous and if I could have 5 more I'd have 'em in a second.
We have three girls, and when the last one came, people asked me all the time if I was going to try for "that boy." It is just a way of making conversation, but girls are easier to find gifts for, so maybe they just wanted to spoil you with something that was easy to buy!
You will get that third baby question too, are you going for the girl? Just wait!
M.
I think people will say this whatever the sex , if you already had a girl and then were having another girl they would say the same thing. It seems someone always has something to say no matter what , I have 3 kids , a boy then a girl , then when we were pregnant with the 3rd (another girl) people asked me if the pregnancy was planned???? They assume that because I had 1 of each then I had no reason to be pregnant again and that it must have been an accident!
First thing, you are 100% correct in recognizing that a healthy baby is the most important thing. There are easy-to-raise boys and difficult ones, and easy-to-raise girls and difficult ones. The important things are good love and good health. You have some very lucky boys there!
As for the gender, stop telling anyone, then you won't get reactions like that. :-D And if you feel the need to tell, start off by saying, "We are so excited that we are having another boy." If they say something else and you're not offended, then you can always address it with humor. Perhaps you could say, "Hmmm... I wonder if your mom's friends were disappointed with your gender when you were born" ;-)
And keep in mind that people seem to be filter-less with their commentaries these days. Since you already have one child, you know that. People will give you unsolicited advice and commentary throughout life on parenting.
I know for my own self, I was a great parent until I had kids.
You know, when I was pregant wiht my daughter people kept saying they hope she came out white. I'm of Indian descent, brown, and my husband is of European descent. If I had a nickle for every time somone commented that she'd be lucky or more beautiful to come out white -- or how lucky I was that I might have a white baby and not a brown one-- well, I would have at least a dollar.
People say stupid things all the time. You know the love in your heart for your baby, and nothing else matters.
Nothing is wrong with boys! Mine makes me laugh all the time. If it were me, I'd look them right in the eye and say, "That's rude," and wait for them to react.
I for one, am thrilled for you!
Most likely they were hoping it was a girl because you have a boy & most people think that 2 is enough kids for a family... a boy for daddy & a girl for mommy.
Personnaly - I was hoping for a girl this time because I have at home a 6 yr old girl and 2 boys 5 (in June) and 3 (in June) & a 15 yr girl that lives else where. So, we were kinda hoping for another little girl, but we are happy with the little guy that is coming. He will be here in July. My daughter was a little upset - till she found out that she could still pick out a few things for him. Plus, we did point out that her brothers have always been willing to play dress-up, dolls, house and everything else she likes to play with her as long as she plays cars, trains & cowboys like they like to play.
Boys are a bit more energy then girls, but girls are a little more drama then boys... they both are special in their own way. And I've always been happy with whatever I have if they are healthy.
I do understand somepeople would like the "perfect" family - one boy & one girl, but if you are happy with 2 boys or even more in time... that is all that really matters. I love having little ones... and haven't desided if this will be my last or not... my daughter is asking us to keep trying for a baby sister for her - time will tell on that one. But for now - we are happy w/ our family & any blessings that are given to us in the future... no matter if they are girls or boys.
BTW - congratz on the boys... they keep life moving & interesting :)
I think people tend to not know what to say and feel they have to say something! Same thing when I said I did not want to find out what gender my baby was- "but dont you want to know?" You could say you dont know the gender but feel blessed that it is healthy! My mother in law did tell me once she wanted me to have a girl (I have 4 boys and 1 girl) because boys grow up and away from family where as girls tend to stay closer to Mom and take care of you in later years. Not always true but at least she had a solid reason. :) God knows best! CONGRATULATIONS!
I totally get you! I have three boys, and all I get are questions about #4, which, we are NOT having. Everyone wants/thinks we need to keep trying for a girl. They even go as far as telling "how" to conceive a girl. Come on, already! I'm thrilled with my three boys, and believe me, there is enough drama in the house, we don't need to add a girl to the mix! Of course, I would love a little girl, but there just wasn't one in the plan for our family. Thankfully, I have 3 beautiful nieces to spoil!
We have 3 girls- and while we feel totally blessed- we always wished for a boy. Congratulations!!! Don't let the "girl fans" get you down!
First let me say congratulations on your expected son!! Boys are awesome!
I think the reason many women want everyone to have a girl is because they know that sons grow up and get married and the mom kinda gets replaced, girls however have a close bond with their mothers throughout their life. With a girl you normally get to be part of more of your child's adult life.
Just raise your boys to always keep a special place for mom no matter what.
Im expecting my 3rd boy and couldnt be happier! Right now my 2 yr old is just the light of my life. He loves hs mommy and cuddles me all the time, and is just the sweetest thing. My oldest was the same way. My Dr. even asked me yesterday "so are you going to try one more time for a girl?" No, I was never "trying" in the first place. We just wanted healthy babies and are so blessed to have gotten just that! It is such a common question!
Do people with girls get asked "are you going to keep trying for a boy?" Doesnt seem like it! Congrats on your new baby boy!
Well, I have two girls and got the opposite. When my mother-in-law found out my first daughter was a girl she was very disappointed because her only other grandbaby was also a girl. She said "ANOTHER girl? Oh, lord. I don't know what to do with girls." She has 3 boys (and did I mention ZERO tact?). There is nothing wrong with boys. Lots of people have them, lots of people want them. Same with girls. The problem is the idiots who make those comments, that's all. ;)
It's just a "sterotype" way of thinking, just as other have probably said.
I have 2 girls (15 months apart) and 1 boy. He is responsible for every grey hair on my head. I just dodn't know how to deal with boys - they are another species! LOL.
Good luck.
M.
I have no idea--BOYS TOTALLY ROCK!
.
So many ppl. for some reason feel that a boy and girl is what they call a "millionaires family" its just a ficticious name. Don't worry about what others think, if they say something to you just say I'm happy to be having a boy,a little brother for my son to play with. I'm not upset that its not a girl I just want the baby to be healthy. End of story. If you really want to shut them up tell them you plan in another year. Just what year you don't know. They aren't the ones' who are having the baby, they don't have to pay for diapers, formula etc. Just have a quick answer like you want a boy for your son and you are very happy that it turned out this way. I wish you the best and congratulations on your pregnancy. Your little bundle of joy will be healthy and all of you will be elated and your son will be tickled "blue"
It drives me NUTS as I've posted numerous times on this board! I have two boys, and I couldn't be happier! If I had 4 more I would want them to be boys too -HOWEVER -if they were girls I wouldn't be disappointed. I think people who get all up in arms about their children's genders should really take some time to volunteer for special needs kids. They need to go visit some pediatric hospital wards and then get down and BE THANKFUL FOR HEALTHY CHILDREN -no matter "what" they are! I always wanted all boys, but I would've been grateful for a girl too.
I think some people are so silly that they think every woman must just be dying to dress up a girl in frills and bows and have a shopping partner. They also think that everyone wants one of each. That for some reason we can't relate with boys, but I love boy clothes and boy toys and boy nursery decor MORE than I like the girl stuff!
Personally, I think people just feel free to be really obnoxious to anyone who is visibly pregnant. If you were having a girl, they'd still find brainless things to say to you. We didn't find out the sex of our second child, and that only stopped them for a few seconds! It's just human nature I think--my mom was pregnant with my baby sister at age 42 (I was sixteen) and I remember people telling her she was too old to have a baby. Obviously not! But they still said it. Laugh over it with your husband, that's my advice!
I hate to say it, but it isn't over yet. After your second son is born, everyone will ask when you are having baby #3 so you can try for a girl. I have 2 boys that are 2 years apart. They are a handful, but like you I would have it no other way. It was exactly what I wanted!!! It's a little anoying to hear all the "girlie whopla," but I suppose you get use to it. My youngest is 4 and I still hear, when are you going to try for a girl? My response - I like my family the way it is, with me being the only girl for 3 boys (husband included) to love.
Anyway - I hear ya!!!! :-)
People are just dumb. And if you had girls they would complain it wasn't a boy. I have a 4yr old daughter and pregnant with my second...another girl. EVERYONE seemed to say "aww that's too bad. I hoped it was a boy" or "wow Mike must be so disappointed he's not having a son."We, like you, are happy either way and personally for me and my husband we hoped for another girl. But we would have been thrilled with a boy as well---we just want a healthy baby.
It's annoying to have people act all disappointed and I don't think they realize they're being rude.
It's just a matter of personal preference and just happens those around you right now prefer a girl. I always wanted boys. I got two girls and when my next two came along I wanted girls just because I was tired, knew what to do with a girl, and already had stuff for girls.
My daughter gave birth to two boys, the first boys born into our family in over twenty years. They are different. Not better or worse, just different.
Congratulations and enjoy those boys (I envy your energy to deal with two boys LOL)
People usually seem to think that you want whatever sex you don't have! My first 2 were girls, and many people had the same reaction when I found out my second daughter was a girl. I can't tell you how many times people asked if we would "try again" for a boy. Well, number 3 WAS a boy, and all I heard were things like, "Now you got your boy," "I bet Daddy's so happy," "Now you're done, right?" We ended up having a fourth, and another girl, so I was very pleased! Even after my son was born, I got lots of comments about how I could stop having kids now that I got my boy. Sheesh!!! Now that I had another girl after my boy, I don't get that one any more! (I just get, "Wow! You've got your hands full. You're not having any more, are you?" Or my favorite--by the elderly lady down the street--"Are you pregnant again?" Can't really blame her, I guess, my oldest is 4!)
I wish I knew the answer myself. I have two boys and that's exactly what I wanted. Of course if baby number two would have been a girl then so be it but I don't understand why people feel that you have to want a girl. Now the question people ask me is " are you going to try for the girl"? I always say NO, I am very happy and truly content with the boys, I do not have a yearning like some women do for a girl. Does that make me odd? Who knows and more importantly who cares.
first off...CONGRATULATIONS!!!! secondly. I have heard all of it as well...being italian, they stereotype EVERYTHING and I have heard my entire life boys are wild, boys are bad...blah blah blah. I have 1 daughter (8) and 2 boys (6 and 2) personally i find having a girl WAAAY more difficult than the boys...she is a mini me and i dont know about you but i know my personality..she is controlling, bossy, and very mommy BUT dont get me wrong she is also EXTREMLY SWEET and has a heart of gold but she is definetly wild and from the time she started moving inside of me she hasnt stoped which is what they say boys are like so i always say i have 3 sons to her...lol do what i tell my kids to do, tell the people that are making the comments...im blessed with my son and now i get the joy of having another...SO BACK OFF!!! ok, leave off the last part...GOOD LUCK!!!
the thing is, everyone things you must want a girl since you already have a boy. They assume you'll only want two kids, since that seems to be the norm nowadays, so you would obviously want one of each. Dont let them get you down. Enjoy your boys. Even if they are stinky. :-)
People tend to want one of each. I don't know why. For balance, I guess. So, it's not that there's anything wrong with a boy, but you already have one. So, people were hoping on your behalf that the next would be a girl. If it were the other way and you already had a girl, people would want you to have a boy. Silly, but nothing to be concerned about.
Thats funny, I am having a girl and everyones all bummed about it. They're like "oh...boys are so much easier" and other a-hole comments.
I agree with some of the other posters. I don't think it is really that people think there is "something wrong with boys." I think it is more that people think the American dream is to have one of each sex and we are all supposed to be disappointed when that isn't what we get.
I have 3 girls and love them to pieces. When I was pregnant with my third, I was secretly hoping for another girl, b/c I loved my girls so much. (Not to say I wouldn't have loved a boy.) But everyone assumed we were having another b/c we were trying for a boy. My youngest is almost 6 and I still have people ask me if we are going to try for a boy. Nope, happy with my girls!
In addition to this, we will have people say things like, "Oh your poor husband...three girls. Guess he was hoping for a boy" and asking things along the lines of him being disappointed that we have all girls.
Just remember that as long as you are happy and your kids are happy and healthy, that's all that matters. I don't think people mean to come off as rude, but that is what happens sometimes.
I have 3 children, girl, girl, and boy. My husband and I wanted 3 children, didn't matter what sex they turned out to be...we just wanted 3 children. So, I get annoyed when people say, "Oh, you really wanted a boy, huh?" I tell them, "No, we just wanted 3 children." It is inconsiderate for people to make assumptions of our motives for wanting another child, just like it is inconsiderate for people to assume you are not happy about having another boy. Let it roll off your shoulders and tell them with all the love you have for your children that you couldn't be more delighted to have another boy. That ought to hush them up. Blessings to you and your family. Children are gifts from God, no matter how they come out.
There is nothing wrong with boys. I think most people think there is this ideal of having a girl and a boy. I have a boy and my girl is due in August. I get "Isn't that great! You'll have one of each." At any rate, it's rude that they say that do your face.
There's nothing wrong with boys as far as I'm concerned! I have my one son, and he's such an angel! My sister has one girl and she's a temper tantrum throwing drama queen. I guess people make comments based on some sort of idea of family balancing, but it's all small talk and it doesn't amount to much.
I wanted a girl and got one. I thought having a girl would be more fun, but she is my one and only so I won't have any basis to compare if a girl is actually more fun or not!!! Girls are more fun to dress, lol :)
Good question! Although, I must say that my experiences around boys (pre children) were not great. The boys I always saw while growing up and after always seemed extremely wild and unruly. They were ill behaved, always breaking things and running and screaming. I can remember thinking to myself, "boys are awful....their poor moms." Then, I had a daughter and my friends became mommy friends. I love their boys!!!! Most of my friends boys are so sweet and well behave....lots of energy, yes, but not out of control. I started to realize that it is not the boys, but their parents thats allow the super crazy and wild behavior I had previously experienced.
Moving on....I have a girl and a boy and love both so much. My girl is awesome and we have so much fun. But my little boy....he LOVES me. I am his world and he would do anything for me. Little boys are great. I'm assuming the ones that make the dissappointed comments about boys have mostly been around the ones that had the very wild behavior that the parents assumed was normal in boys. Hope this is making sense. I know what I am trying to say,but it is harder to say.
Congrats on your new little boy! Just think....you won't have to buy new clothes and toys :-) (and one won't get grossed out by the other)
I don't think people mean anything its just nervous chatter. Sometimes people just talk to make a connection. Just be gracious.
I have three kids 2 boys and 1 girl. I love them all the same I feel blessed to be their mom. I had a bunch of werid comments that were very inapporiate when I was pregnant with all 3. I had one woman aggressive push her hands into my stomach and said she could tell me I was having twins. It really caught me off guard and made me feel very vunerable. Anyhow I just smiled at her she was trying to form a connection.
Enjoy your pregnancy..relish it. Let the other stuff go.
I am having my second girl soon and when people find out it is a girl they always say "Are you going to try again for a boy?" I couldn't be more thrilled to have two girls and have no desire to "try" for anything. People are just weird!
Many people have this idea of the "perfect family" with one boy and one girl. People are ignorant to assume that everyone would want one of each! I'm a mom to one boy and if I had had two kids (and especially as close in age as yours will be), I would have wanted a second boy. They have a better chance of being great friends growing up and then later in life. They will more likely have similar interests. I always thought I would definitely have to have a girl, but I really like doing all the things with my son that I never did as a kid because I did such traditional girl activities. I think you should just tell people that every baby is a blessing. You might also throw in, "Well, that's great YOU wanted a girl, but WE were really hoping for another boy and we are the ones who are going to be raising him."
I think the accepted "ideal" is to have at least one of each, and that is probably why people are responding that way. I think if you already had a daughter and were expecting another girl, you would get the same response, "Oh, I bet your husband is disappointed." "Oh, I was hoping you would have a boy." But I'm glad you aren't letting it affect you. Maybe try sounding more excited when you announce it's a boy, or even say, "We're so thrilled - it is just what we wanted! Another boy!" Then people may react differently, if you imply that was what you were hoping for. But either way, I think it's great that you're happy - and that you don't let other people's expectations influence your excitement.
Don't worry about what others think or say, somehow in this life everybody will be gone one day, so their opinions must not count, they are not paying your bills. The most important is the love that you are raising those boys with. These world need men with integrity, values and able to do something good for the society.... and this is your job.
And remember...they are not paying your bills..they are not in shoes. Be happy and thankful with God, for giving you the blessing of being pregnant. Too many women can't. Enjoy your boys!!!
There is NOTHING wrong with boys! My oldest is a boy, and the next in line is a girl, followed by 2 more boys. Most people seem to think that when having children, parents will naturally want one of each sex. I wanted a big family b/c I grew up in one and loved it...I don't think I ever really thought about the boy/girl issue. I just wanted healthy, happy babies. When people say rude things, they don't always realize they are being rude...simply respond with "What makes you say that?" You'll be able to gain insight into what they're truly thinking. They may even realize that they need to be more careful with what they blurt out.
Congratulations on your boys!
Congratulations.
Nothing is wrong with boys. I have less issues with my boy than with my girls. I love them all. I really don't know why people think they have to say whatever pops into their heads. Maybe they are just thinking they would want one of each more than they are thinking about you. Maybe they thought that's what you were hoping for. When pregnant, I just hoped for a healthy baby. Just ignore them, come up with a snappy comeback or just tell them that you're excited to have another boy and they would be welcome to keep their opinions to themselves. Whatever you decide to do don't take it personally.
I have three boys. When I got remarried and was pregnant with my second son I was thrilled. Everyone kept asking me if I was hoping for that little girl. My response with my second and third sons was the same. NO. I prayed for boys god answered my prayers and I couldn't be happier. I think that it is just a misconception that all women want to have that little girl to dress up and do girly things with. Well not all moms are like that. I would just ignore the comments or with a witty come back say; I am getting just what I want; a very healthy baby no matter the sex. That is all that matters.
Good luck and congratulations.
S.
SAHM to 3 beautiful boys
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OMG! I'm glad you posted this because I feel the exactly like you but in regards to girls! when I was preggers with my second everyone was so disapointed it was another girl! WHY??? I love my girls dearly, what's wrong with having all girls? in the same token, what's wrong with having all boys???
I just think people expect us to want to have the other gender since "it's better to have one of each" whatever I don't believe this for a minute. Boys are wonderful, mischevious, loving and fun girls are wonderful, mischevious loving and fun too. I don't get it, I just love both genders the same.
I think it's crazy, too. We have three sons, and the third was not planned. Everyone always asked if we were trying for a girl, then when he wasn't, they always got that sad for me look on their face when they found out. Really annoyed me. I always told everyone that I didn't care what the sex was, but if I could've picked, I would've picked a boy, which is true. Then I liked to tell them that I would be missing all the girl drama! My husband also likes to remind people that he won't be paying for any weddings. We are truly blessed with our boys, and God definitely knew what he was doing. I was never a "girlie girl," so I don't know what I'd have done if I'd had one.
Congratulations on your boys! Just know that all us "boy" moms know how you feel!
There is nothing wrong with boys :) I have two, 20 months apart, and they are great. They are loud, can be destructive, and VERY imaginative. They are BEST friends at 5 and 3 and entertain each other (and us) all day long. :)
I also have a baby girl (18 months). People say to me all the time "oh you got your girl". Which is true, I did, but had I got a boy, we would have been just as happy.
I think people just are thinking of something to say - it's kind of weird that we all know what we are having before baby these days. When we were born that wasn't an option, and people would never say anything AFTER the baby was born! How rude! :)
You'll be thrilled with two boys - they are great.
J.
Congrats on your second son!!
I think alot of people experience this. My first was a boy and I just had my second 6 weeks ago and it was a girl. But since we didn't find out everyone was saying the same things to me and all I really cared about was that the baby was healthy. My son is amazing and I really thought I'd have all boys as well which would've been fine with me. But now that I have a daughter, that's awesome too!! I don't know why people say that stuff, b/c I love having a boy. Sure, there are cuter girls clothes...but come on that's not a reason to want a girl. I think God gives you what you were meant to have. I don't know what goes through people's minds when they say things especially "I was hoping for a girl"..why, are you planning on raising her? People make me laugh. But seriously I think it just stems from everyone thinking that all Moms want a girl at some point and all Dads want a boy. So, if you have one of both it accomplishes both things. Just ignore it, but believe me I'm sure plenty of Moms get the same comments.
My grandmother had a line she always said "A son's a son until he gets a wife, but a daughter's a daughter all her life". I think there's a feeling that with boys they get married and move on where there's a sense that girls always stay close to their Mom so maybe that's whay people say that about girls, but it all depends on your children and your family. If you keep your children close and have a loving family, it really won't matter if you have boys or girls.
I don't know what the others have said, but I have 2 boys myself and am happy with them. I have all my life always wanted 2 kids and no more. We have our 2 and he/she from up above blessed us with both boys. I hate the though process that the "perfect" family is a boy and a girl. If I had a dollar for every person that asked me if I am going to try for that girl or how I should have a girl because I will be left all alone in my old age, I would be a rich woman right now. I just think that people really do not think about what they are saying because your family does not fit what their idea of a family is. Stupid, immature, thought. It is such a pet peeve of mine. Sorry, stepping off my soap box now...