Anyone Else Ever Been Disappointed by Gender Results of Ultrasound?

I cried when I found out I was haing a boy the first time. I actually cried but I would not trade Zach for anything. I am hoping this next one is a girl and will probaly be sad if it is another boy but that doesn't mean I won't love him any less. It is hard and MOST women have a preference even if they claim they don't. So don't feel bad you are not alone!

Hi J.,

I know exactly how you feel. I have two boys ages 2 and 4. When I found out my second was a boy I cried for 3 days. I wanted nothing more than a girl. My husband didn't help at all. He thought I should just be happy that the baby was healthy.

Now that I have 2 boys, I am completely satisfied and wouldn't change a thing. It is so nice to see them play together and we only have to have the "blue" toys!!! I hope that when they grow up, they will stay close.

Just give it some time to get used to the idea of being out numbered in the house!!!

We have talked about having a thrid child and if we do, I would really like it to be a boy!!!!!

Good luck=)

Hi J., I am S.. My boys are 11 months and 3 1/2. They are both boys and I know the feeling. I was disappointed about another boy also, but my 11 month old is the sweetest, happiest baby I have ever met. Everyone comments on how happy he is. Not that my 3 1/2 year old isn't happy, he is just challenging. I am thrilled to have my 2 boys. I am still considering trying one more time for a girl, but I had a bad pregnancy with the last one. I am having to search my soul to see if I want to go through that again. I am thrilled every day when I wake up to my smiley little baby and I will be happy if this is all that I have. Everything will work out for the best. Take care and try to keep an open mind!

J. ~

I hate to admit it, but I felt incredibly disappointed when I was told we were having a boy. I cried leaving the hospital, not only because I was carrying a boy, but because I made myself sick that it actually upset me. I felt like a terrible mom and didn't think I would accept my son since I wanted a girl so badly. Now he is truly the light of my life. We are trying for a second and though I'd be happy with a girl, I am hoping for a boy so they can play together and grow up together. The more I think about a girl, the more it scares me, especially with the world today. I don't want to fight with her when she is 10 because she wants to dress like the pop stars and celebrities on TV (which is only bound to get worse over time), or worry about boys, sex, pregnancy, etc. Despite your feelings now, you'll simply adore him when he's here and swaddled in your arms. I couldn't believe I had ever hoped for anything but my little boy...

P.S. Congratulations!

You are not being selfish. We have two beautiful little daughters and my husband was disappointed when we found out the second baby was going to be a girl. But that was during one of numerous ultrasounds we had since an early nuchal translucency test gave us a 1/5 chance of having a baby with Down's Syndrome. I just prayed that she would be healthy (or as healthy as could be). We never did the amnio, but were blessed with a second healthy and perfectly fine child. Now our girls play and wrestle with each other. I know they will be so much closer than my brother and I ever were. And that's the same for my friends with two (or three) sons too. They're good friends and playmates with each other. You're so blessed and have so much to be thankful for. It's perfectly fine to be a bit disappointed, but make sure you move on fast so you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. And please don't let your new baby find out you wanted a girl. My grandpa told me that my dad was very disappointed when I was born a girl, and it still hurts. Don't let your child feel the same. : )

I am the youngest of 5 raised by a Mother who is of the belief that girls are usless and son's are Gods. I have spent my life trying to be 180 degress in the opposite direction of my Mother and yet when I found out 4 years ago that I was having a girl I was so dissappointed. I have health issues and can never have another child so this was my one shot to give my husband, the only boy in his family, a son. In the end I told myself that a healthy baby is the best gift of all and a girl was my chance to do everything right that my Mother did wrong. You have a different senario of course but the end result is the same, you have the choice to be happy or upset about the child you are carrying and believe me that child will know exactly how you feel even if you never say it. I love my daughter with all my heart and I believe we are all given opportunities in life to show ourselves and others what is truely in our hearts. You can choose to be happy or sad about this baby being a boy and there fore influnce the outcome of that childs life.

L.

Hi! No, you are not being selfish or stupid at all. If that's how you feel, you are entitled to your feelings. You can't help the way you feel. To be honest, I felt the exact same way you did. I had my heart set on having a girl, name picked out, looking at little dresses, ect. Then week 20 came and the Dr said, it's a boy! My fiance was estactic, needless to say I was upset. I cried, because I was disappointed and because I felt like so much pressure was put on me by his parents and step-parents because all they had were 5 grandsons and only 1 granddaughter. So when I told them what I was having I felt like I disappointed them also. Then I came to the realization that I had no choice in the sex of my baby. Regardless, boy or girl, I was going to show him unconditional love no matter what. Then I looked at it like this, at least he is healthy. There are so many diseases and handicaps he could've aquired, but didn't. I felt guilty at first and dwelled on it for a couple weeks. Now that I have a baby boy, I don't know what I would do if I had a girl. Maybe you can look at it this way, if you saved your first sons things, i.e. toys, baby gear, you don't have to waste your money buying the "girly" version of everything. I'm not really a church-going person, but maybe it was in God's plan. Who knows? Good luck, and have fun being pregnant!!! ~Jess~

I have one son who is 15 months. I cried at the ultrasound when they told me it was a boy. I was so set on having a girl, I grew up as an only child and am super close to my mom and wanted the same for myself and a daughter. Now that he has a personality totaly his own I wouldn't trade him for the world. I keep thinking I would be sad if our next is a boy too but then I keep telling myself how much easier it would be. You already have boy clothes and toys. I think once you see your perfect boy you will be fine. And I don't think you are being selfish, I think all mommies want a girl, but just think you will have 2 "momma's boys"

I did. When I was pregnant with my second child. I was so happy to be pregnant but the minute I found out it was a boy I got so depressed. Thankfully for me I just had my surprise baby and it turned to be a girl.

Hi J..
I really feel for you and I want to know that I understand how you feel and that you are not being stupid or selfish. I have 2 daughters 23 months apart and they are the best of friends. When we found out the sex of the first one I was elated b/c I wanted a girl and up to that point my hubby told me he didn't care one way or the other. Well, he wouldn't talk to me for a week b/c he was so disappointed, and to this day he won't admit it. I wanted two of the same sex because I wanted them to be best friends and I got my wish. I said that the second was our last one...blah blah blah...but lately my mind has been changing. You can't help your desire to have what you don't have, but just try to remember that we get what we are predestined to have. Once you hold that little boy in your arms you will not be able to imagine life any other way. You are not alone to feel this way, just many people don't admit it. Best of luck to you and your family.
T.

J.,
Don't beat yourself up --- it's perfectly natural to have a preference. After getting the gift of a healthy beautiful son you now want to experience a little girl's world. I know how you feel -- I'm in the similar mind set. We just had our first in the spring, a beautiful baby girl, and are talking about if/when we would like to have a second child. While we'd be happy with another healthy baby girl (and I think it would be great for my daughter to have a sister) I think we both would really like to have a boy. Just like you - I fear that there will be disappointment if we have another girl.

But I know that once that baby gets here and you look at that amazing new life your disappointment will disappear. Now is the time to focus on how lucky you are that the baby is healthy and how much fun it's going to be watching your two sons grow up the best of friends.

J.,

I understand. While I was pregnant, I secretly wished for a girl while I told everyone I didn't mind if it was a boy or girl. My husband desperately wanted a boy. When the ultrasound revealed that it was a girl, I cried tears of joy and my husband actually cried tears of disappointment. I was so angry at him. BUT - he is completely enamoured with our now almost 2 year old daughter. We plan to have another baby and my guess is that I will secretly hope for a sister for our daughter but also hope for a son so that my husband can have his heart's desire as well. We all know that we think we know what we want but once we see those babies, we have no regrets :) Smile - you never know what may lie ahead for you :) Best wishes, N.

Dear J.,
You're not alone. My daughter was 14 months old when we found out that we were having a boy. I know at the time I wanted another girl. I was upset that it wasn't. I knew it would be a better playmate for my daughter if it was a girl. (Plus we wouldn't have to buy a ton of clothes because she could use some of her sisters old clothes.) I also thought that I could never love a boy. I thought girls are so cute and lovable, and I wouldn't know what to do with a boy. I pretty much thought this way until I held him for the first time. Actually, I kind of resented him at first because he was taking my time from away from my daughter. But a couple weeks later it all changed. Now I love him so much and I can't believe that I ever thought that way before. Just give yourself time, whether it's days, weeks, or months. Trust me - when you see your son smile for the first time, nothing else will matter.

Take care,
A.

J.,
They say it is selfish, that you should be happy no matter what, but I have felt the same way. 3 girls later and going for an ultrsound Aug10 for our 4th child I am bummed and don't have my hopes up. I got my hopes up with the last 2, was trying to compare pregnancies, aand the 3rd child was different how I carried, everyone said I carried like a boy, we had a girl. ultrsound on both 2nd and 3rd were inconclusive(breech,they said they were pretty sure they were girls but not to count on it, we would have to find out later. Well because of how different my pregnancy was I swore I was having a boy. I think I am doomed for having girls...lol After the 3rd we weren't even suppose to have anymore I was suppose to go in to have my tubes tied on May 11, and found out we were pregnant the week before. I was devastated, and felt guilty for thinking that. maybe it's a sign for a boy...or twins....haha, lmao hope not. I think thoughts like these are natural, and come with being a mom. My friends and I have even talked the "what if we didn't have kids thing" I mean evry mom has thoughts even if they are over joyed with what they get, or want. Good Luck though every mom has hopes!

I am fortunate enough to be the mother of a healthy 21 month old boy. I am currently pregnant with a girl. I seem to have no problems conceiving and I have never miscarried or lost any children. However, I don't think that you need to experience any of those unfortunate things in order to appreciate what a miracle it is to have a healthy child - boy or girl. My husband and I never had a gender preference with either of our babies, and I find it inconceivable that other mothers and fathers do. I am not criticizing you; I am simply saying that I cannot relate. I have to admit, though, I had a hard time listening to a girlfriend of mine whine throughout her pregnancy, "I hope I'm having a girl. I don't want a boy!" How does she know that? It's her first child!

I think disappointment to an extent can be a normal human reaction when you had your mind set on something else. Like one of the other mothers mentioned, though, you need to move on so that you can enjoy the rest of this pregnancy. When your second son is 2 years old, you will watch him and wonder how you were ever disappointed that he wasn't a girl. If you're still not over it at that point, in my opinion, THEN maybe you're being selfish. God never gives us more than we can handle, and I am sure he has a plan in mind for you. Don't be too hard on yourself.

J.

I really think that you should be happy that you are being blessed with another beautiful, healthy baby boy and not be concerned about the gender. My husband and I tried for two years to get pregnant and during those two years would have given ANYTHING to have a baby, we could care less what gender it was. You cannot understand the disappoint EVERY month when we found out we were not pregnant and the feeling of desperation and depair! When I finally got pregnant, we didn't find out what the gender was because neither of us cared, we were so ELATED to finally have a baby, it just didn't matter.

We ultimatley were blessed with a baby boy, who is now 16 months old, healthy and very active. We have been trying to get pregnant again and no luck so far, but I know that we are so blessed to have the baby that we do, I am just thankful everyday for what we have!! I still get disappointed and would LOVE to be in your shoes right now, so please try to be happy and look at it as the blessing that it is!

Our very good friends were pregnant at the same time I got pregnant and she miscarried. They have not been able to get pregnant since and would give anything to have a baby to love....boy or girl.

I am not trying to tell you how you should feel, but if you think about how badly you want a baby girl and try to think about how that would feel to want a baby that badly and not be able to have one, maybe that will help you feel better about another boy!

Best of luck to you!! :)

I was disappointed as well when our ultrasound showed that we were having a boy and not a girl. I went throught a bit of a mourning period while adjusting to the idea, but by the time Noah was born, I was over it. Don't feel guilty about how you are feeling. Pregnancy is difficult enough without any added stress. You feel how you feel. It's okay!

Dear J.,
I had the exact same situation except that my first was three years old. I actually noticed that the new baby was a boy before the tech did!! I was okay at first but then on the way to the car it hit me that I wasn't ever going to have a daughter. We needed to stop at two because I have a heart condition and being pregnant is really hard on me and my cardiologist really wanted me to stop and well kids are expensive. Anyway, we had a girls name picked out(we were still torn on a boys one) but we really liked the name 'Natalie'. I too felt like I was being selfish and just stupid, but my mom actually made me feel better and said that just because I wished it had been a girl doesn't mean that I love this little boy any less. So what I did was give myself a day to be selfish and stupid, I cried and mourned that I wouldn't have a daughter. I said goodbye to "Natalie". But that was it, I let it go. After that day it was all about the little baby boy in my tummy and picking a name. I also tried to think of positive thinks to having two babies of the same sex. All my oldests' clothes, toys, everything could be passed down. We saved quite a bit of money that way. Now my "baby" just turned three, and having two boys is great- I love it and am happy how it turned out. I hope this helps, if anything know you're not alone.
C.

I think it is natural to want a girl-- however, be happy that you are having a healthy child. When I found out I was pregnant with my son (before I knew for sure he was a he) I honestly did not care want I had and figured I would care the second time around and want the opposite sex. Then I found out that a close friend's baby was born with a terminal birth defect. She died at 3 mos. At that point in time I knew I would never care the sex of the child and prayed for a healthy baby.

Enjoy your healthy boys!

Yes, Im going thru the same situation. I have a 4 yr old lil girl an Im 18 weeks an we woukd love to have a son dis is my last child a

Hi J.,

I'm L.. I remember getting the ultrasound results for my 20 month old. We already had 1 boy and we found out it was another boy and part of me was instantly disappointed as well. My dream of painting my daughter's nails and buying adorable dresses was going down the tubes!

But I will say, that no matter what I think I always want, God seems to know what I want more. I wouldn't trade my Braden for anything. I've come to accept that my husband makes boys and will have to save the 'girlie' stuff for my niece! Good luck!

Hi J. - 3 is a good number. I have two beautiful boys - 24 years old and 23 years and yes I was disappointed when the doctor pulled my second son from my abdomin (c-section) and told me that I have another red haired son. I cried. But it is wonderful - they are still best buddies. But do you know what - God gave us a real gift when I was 43 years old - a beautiful baby girl. She is 6 years old now. I finally got my girl and I am extremely happy: but I was extremely happy and proud of just my two boys. Life is precious - so whatever happens for you and your husband - enjoy your family.
I WISH YOU MUCH JOY WITH YOUR CHILDREN. (I felt selfish too but that goes away) I had 16 years with my husband and two boys before "God's Gift" came along. And we were very happy with our lives and now we are even happier. Maybe you can talk to your husband some more about a third child down the road. God Bless You and Your Family. S.

You should be very thankful you are having a healthy baby. I had twins and lost one due to complications and had to have a hysterectomy, now I can't even have anymore. Many people would feel blessed to have even one child no matter what the sex.

I also have two sons (ages 4 and 1) and was briefly disappointed after my ultrasounds with both to find out they weren't girls. I always wanted to have a girl and had no idea with my first boy what to do with boys! Then with my second child (and also probably our last) when I found out it was another boy, I had that moment of disappointment. But I will tell you with all honestly, that I love my boys so completely, and cannot imagine my life without them. I don't feel now that our family is incomplete or missing anything because we don't have a girl. And like you, my husband is thrilled to have sons! So hang in there...when your second child arrives any temporary disappointment you feel will subside when you hold your beautiful son for the first time!

Hi. I have two wonderful daughters, but I must say I too was disappointed with the results of my last daughter. I'm thankful now (hand me down clothes, same baths, etc.) but I was disappointed because Brooklyn was our last as well. I actually had mine the same age gap as you did, so I know what you're going through. Once they place him on you though, you'll feel better and know without a doubt this was exactly what was supposed to happen. Good luck!

S.

J. - I am in a similar, but not same, position. My husband and I are expecting our second child any day now, and we are having a boy as well. I already have a daughter, and am truly blessed to have her. I had my heart and hope set on getting her a sister, which I never had and always wanted. When we were told it was a boy, I was very dissapointed. I still am! I keep telling myself that I will love him just as much as her, but it is not the same for me. My husband, of course, is overjoyed. I know how you feel!!

J.,

Currently, I am pregnant with baby #4. This one, like the others I will decline on knowing the gender before delivery.
You feel how you feel. If there's any consulation I heard a story of a lady that found out gender of her baby (male) and had painted the nursey blue and bought boy clothes. Several months later, when her little girl was born she was surprised...the girl had her finger pointed downwards between her legs on the ultrasound.
Hope that makes you smile and remember there are always organizations out there were young girls could use positive female role models (big/little sisters,etc).

R.

My situation is the same but oppposite...we're having a second girl and it is also probably our last child. Yeah I was disappointed too...I really wanted a boy. My husband and his father and step-father are wonderful men and I would have liked to have raised a boy with their influence. And I also think a girl leads a certain life in this world and a boy is different but equal. I would have like to have walked both paths. I too felt selfish and I should just be happy the baby looks healthy...etc. Just live with it a while...I think our feelings are natural...I'm feeling pretty happy at having a second girl now...I have all the cloths and the pictures will be cute...and like you said she'll have a built in best friend. The men in their lives will teach them how to find good men to love...and hopefully I'll feel close to them. The only thing I think I'll really miss are the mother/son dance at the wedding and schools. I would have liked to dance with my son.

Yep, I did. I thought for sure we'd have a second girl but lo and behold, Sam came to join our family. It took me a few weeks to be okay with it. In fact, right up until the moment he was born, I was convinced the ultrasound tech was wrong!!

Now, of course, I can't imagine my life without Sam. Give yourself time to adjust to the idea of two boys. Add some pregnancy hormones and some tiredness in there and you have every reason to feel out of sorts about it!!

BIG HUGS!! You can email me if you have more questions.

:) B.

Hi I was just wanted to tell you that I can totally relate to what your feeling I have 2 boys 9 and 3. Although I choose not to find out the sex of either of them, I thought for sure my 2nd was a girl I was really looking forward to buying all those little girl clothes . All my friends thought so to, so when I found out it was a boy, I was shocked and disappointed, how selfish of me I should of been happy that I had this healthy baby right! well I wasn't and it actually took me a few days for the whole boy #2 to sink in. 3 years later and now I am so glad I have boys and not girls. My 2 boys are the sweetest and they are so much fun personally I think boys are easier then girls. Trust me you will have so much fun raising those 2 little boys you will look back and wonder why you ever wanted a girl.

Best Wishes
M.

Hi J....

No, you aren't being selfish or stupid, in my opinion. I have a daughter and then a son..then we got pregnant again and I was really bummed it was another boy. I wanted, or I THOUGHT I wanted another girl. There is no love like those of a boy and his mommy. I truly love my girl, but I am head over heels for my boys. I think its a feeling we all go through a majority of the time. Just wait until your son comes into the world....I think all those thoughts you have will go away!! Babies are miracles and such joys and we have to enjoy them while we have them!! Good luck!

J.,
I know how you feel. I wanted a girl and had 3 boys. I too was upset with the births of my sons. Now they are 25, 19 and 13 --- I wouldn't trade one of them for a hundred girls. I think that boys are easier to raise and I also think that they are closer to their mothers than girls are. I love my boys and you will love yours whether a boy or girl. -------- C.

I have 4 boys. I didn't know the sex of the first one so I went to the hospital with an outfit for each. The next three we knew were going to be boys! (Yet I still went to the hospital with a little dress in the suitcase!! Just hoping the doctors were wrong!!!) This broke my heart! I was raised as an only child by my mother and all I ever wanted was one little girl. I was very disappointed each time they told us we were having another boy. I too felt selfish for my feelings but I think every mother wants a daughter to share things with that you really can't share with a little boy. While all four of my boys fight like cats and dogs they still stand up for each other and are always there for each other. In the long run I think I ended up pretty lucky!! Besides if I did have a girl....with 4 older brothers....she probably would have turned out to be a tom boy!!! LOL

When I was pregnant with my second I wanted another girl sooo bad. I was almost shocked to see his blatantly THERE man parts on the screen of the ultrasound.
I just want to say, after you have the baby you will fall in love right away and never dream him to be different. You may want another one day...thinking about that now seems crazy but later will be now and you may want to try for that girl.
GOOD LUCK to your family! CONGRATULATIONS!

Hey J.,

First, you are not stupid nor selfish! When I was pregnant with my second baby after already having a boy, I awaited anxiously hoping (desparately) for a girl since I also knew that it would most likely be my last child. Then came the day of my ultrasound when I found out I was having a girl. I felt so fortunate and blessed that I was going to have my idea of the perfect little family -- one boy and one girl! Well, let me tell ya, my daughter is now 15 months and I love her dearly but she is SO much more work than my son ever was. Not to say that I now wish that she would have been a boy, but boys are without a doubt so much easier. My son is a total mommas boy where my daughter much prefers her daddy. Too funny how I was the one that wanted a girl and now all she wants is daddy who really wanted another boy! Go figure!!! In all seriousness, I do understand your longing for a girl but everything happens for a reason, so have faith in what your future has in store for you and what joys your new little family of four will bring for you! If you have to, look into the future...maybe you will have a bunch of little grandaughters to go crazy about one day!

J.,
My first baby was a boy and I was estactic! My dream was to have all boys, I was terrified of having girls. I was a tomboy and felt sure that I would be completely incapable of raising a girl because I have never been a girly girl. Now, my son has not one, but two little sisters. It was hard on me with the second one, but when I found out baby #3 would also be a girl, I cried in the ultrasound room. I had completely convinced myself of the impossibility of having another girl. The truth is, I love those girls to death, yet sometimes I still ask myself, Can I really handle this? I realize now how insecure I was because I felt like I needed to be more "Martha Stewart-like" to be a capable mother to a girl. I felt like I didn't have the tools to be a good mother to a girl, but lo and behold, I Do! I was also raised in a house where my father seemed to place more value on my brother and what he needed to learn than what I needed. I know that God knows what He is doing even though I may not always understand.

J. Franz