Gender Disapointment/sadness of What Could Have Been Etc. Question

It took us 4 years of trying and a fertility specialist to finally have a baby.
Discovering everything along the way was wonderful!
My Mom was a little disappointed her first grandchild was going to be a boy but she totally loves/likes him now.
My sister has a girl and she's such a manipulative brat my Mom loves her but doesn't like her that much.

Yes I had an ultrasound with my first child for exactly this reason and found out that he was a boy. It was good to go through y sadness when he was in utero rather than at birth. t took a day or two and then i realized that I loved who he was as spirit.... i could sense him pretty strongly, and that made it all okay.
P..

@ April C. I KNOW THAT feeling!
Ok I had a boy 1st. was SO excited because I really wanted a boy. 2nd pregnancy..went to find out and she says "It's a girl"
And my heart sank...
I am the LEAST girly girl I know. I grew up around guys. I have never worn heals, I don't pay attention to fashion trends. I don't really have any friends that are girls. I have never been able to get along with them.
So I found out and thought what April C. said.."Oh great here comes all that gross pink"
I secretly kept hoping that the ultrasound was wrong. Then I had my daughter. I love her to pieces!
That pink stuff has kinda grown on me. I won't buy it for me. But there is something about having a little baby girl around that makes you want to have everything be pretty. It is so strange.
But Now I have a 14month old little girl, who is so sweet but such a stinker at the same time. She already has her daddies sense of humor :)

My b/f says he is done having kids..I really hope he changes his mind. I have one boy name that I really want to be able to use.

I would look up gender disappointment on this site. There are so many supportive comments and its completely normal. Of course we all want a healthy baby, but there is nothing wrong with having a preference. And, nothing wrong with disappointment if that hope is not fulfilled. And, nothing wrong with taking some time to change perspective. I hope you'll get no judgment in other answers and stories to comfort you either way!

For myself... esp since i can only have one... it took me a bit to come to terms with never having a daughter. ((Standard caveats apply here, my son is the light and joy in my life and always has been! NEVER disappointed in haivng HIM)...

And by "a bit" I mean it hit me when he was 2 or 3 and I was watching him play with another little girl at a playplace. That girl was "my" daughter. Long hair in a pony tail & boys clothes & climbing all over the place with him.

Oh.

Headsmack.

My "daughter" (not that little girl, but the little girl I'll never have) is sooooooooo lucky NEVER to have had me for a mom!!! With my son, I had no expectations on personality, appearance, likes/dislikes. I just got to know HIM. Who HE was/is, and watch with rather wondering eyes as he grows up.

If I'd had a girl like I'd hoped, that poor thing would have had expectations SHOVED on her from the womb onward! A femme-tomboy who would (of course) do these sports, and these classes, and go these places with me, and would wear this and that, and like this and not that, and SHEESH!!! Poor kid! What if I'd had a girly-girl? Or a butch tomboy? Either would have been MISERABLE shoved into the little box my expectations would have put on her! And I'd have missed out on soooooooo much!

I actually see the reverse happening all the time in my circle of mom-friends. They WANT the girly-girl who likes what they do... but they have a tomboy and spend YEARS fighting it, and being disappointed, and taking things personally.

I was pretty snide in my own mind about those women (having grown up a tomboy myself, with some pretty girly-girl sisters) it has NOTHING to do with what the parents want. It has to do with who the kid IS.

I sure got my own comeuppance on that playground that day when I. realized. I. was. just. like. them!!!

My SON is lucky to have me for a mom, and triple lucky he wasn't born a girl!!!

As always... this is just MY experience. No idea if it's true for you... but it was my moment of clarity that tossed the gender dissappointment right out the window for good! (of course, one doesn't care when their baby is born, but you know what I mean). What's even more humbling is that for ME... knowing doesn't matter. If I had a girl tomorrow... I'd struggle. And if she was a retiring-blossom-princessy-girly-girl... I'd suffer. I do NOT get on with that type of girl/woman. I just don't. Even knowing ahead of time to TRY and let her be who she is... I'd at BEST tolerate the things she loved, because I can't stand them. Which is a lousy way to grow up... with a mom who 'tolerates' who you are.

I'd just like to say: please don't beat yourself up if you are "disappointed." It's a very common feeling, but I have no doubt that the love for your precious baby will prevail. Still, give yourself time to "grieve" if what you'd wished for doesn't come true. If you suppress it out of shame or condemnation for feeling it, you may amplify it. Talk to friends. True friends will understand and support you. Talk to that baby! Let him know that you love him no matter what. Buy him something just from you; something super cute. It'll help you connect with him. The next thing you know, you'll be falling in love with your little miracle no matter what the gender. Congratulations and good luck! (and let us know what it is!)

Be careful of what you wish for you just might get it. I don't mean that in a nasty way but... My Aunt always wanted a dark haired dark eyed little girl. She married and had 3 boys her husband died while she was pregnant with # 3. She was widowed a few years and married a man who's wife had died, he had a blonde haired blue eyed daughter. They got pregnant and she was sure this was the little girl she wanted--another boy. So they adopted a little girl who was supposed to be dark haired and dark eyed --well she was blond and blue.
Fast forward to her 2nd boy's high school years when at 16 he and his girlfriend had a baby girl and my aunt had to raise her because the girl's parents wanted nothing to do with her. And yes my aunt finally got a dark haired dark eyed little girl.

We didn't know with either of our kids. So when I had our first, a wonderful bundle of pink joy I was beyond thrilled! I wanted a little girl so bad!!! My husband's side of the family had two granddaughters so they were hoping for a little boy. I think my husband was a little disappointed but when they put her in his arms he became a big puddle of goo! Again, with #2 didn't know so when the doctor told us it was a boy the shock on my husband's face was priceless! He even asked the doctor "are you sure"? Really?! I'm thinking the dangling part between his legs is a big give away!!! ha! Hubby walked around like he was the first man to have a son! Which is how I felt when we had our daughter! So I was happy we both got what we wanted. Now, that being said, I think I would have been disappointed if I had had the same sex both times. I'm blessed that I have a girl and a boy. I will say this, my boy has been much more dramatic than the girl! Its amazing he has survived to the rip age of 19. There for a while I didn't think he would make it!!! :)

I understand what you are saying. I come from a family of three girls. My mom and dad would have loved to have a boy but it wasn't meant to be. I had my first daughter 20 years ago, my second daughter 8 years ago, my sister had a daughter 5 years ago, so I was resigned to think that that's all we will have is girls. Love my girls desperately but I really wanted a boy, not just for me but to give my parents a grandson. We were done having kids so it was up to my sisters. But to our surprise, I got pregnant unexpectadly around Christmas of 2008. Sadly this was 4 months after my mom passed away unexpectadly so she wouldn't be around for this birth which broke my heart to pieces. I remember being at the doctors having the ultrasound to tell us the sex of the baby. They were having some difficulty determining it and the dr had said, I believe you are having a girl. A tear automatically rolled down my face. I had no control over it. But then she said, hold on let me get another doctor real quick to see if he can get a better shot. To our surprise, the baby cooperated and showed the doc what he needed to see - and it was a boy! I was in shock. It was bitter sweet though. I finally get pregnant with a boy and my mom wasn't here to enjoy him. But I comforted myself in believing that she got to meet him and hold him before I got pregnant with him.

Anyways, I understand what you are feeling completely but I truly feel that I would have loved my baby regardless what he/she turned out to be. Once your baby is born and you will get to hold him the love for him/her will overflow. All these fears you have will be done away with. It's natural to feel this way so don't think there's anything wrong with you. Yes, all that matters is that the baby is healthy, that's number one but it's completely natural to want one or the other sexes. Good luck and know that what you will have is what is meant to be. (((HUGS)))

Just know that whatever you have is the baby meant for you, made from your love and is special no matter what. Some feel its neat to have a boy and a girl, or more of each, but no matter what, if you have another boy, you will be so thrilled, and you wont need to worry about all the stuff about girls youd have to go thru. Someone one time said, if you have a boy, you worry about him, If you have a girl, you worry about all the other boys.

I wanted another girl this last pregnancy... when I heard it was a boy, I felt such an immediate sadness that even my husband could tell I wasn't happy with the news. By month 7 I have come to terms and was actually happy about the impending birth. There is nothing shameful or horrible about having those feelings... talking it out really helps too. I absolutely adore my little guy now (he's 3 months).

My good friend found out she was pregnant when I was 5 months along, she had 2 boys and was always saying she'd never want a girl because she was such a horrid child/teen and didn't want a mini version of her as a child. She had an absolute break down when they found out it was a girl... sobbing, shaking, the works. It took her close friend loosing her baby at 5 months along to realize how small the issue of gender was when the possibility of loosing the baby was a much worse turn out.

Well first of all Congrats! I didn't deal with gender disappointment but I sure did deal with all the pressure of a girl. I too have 2 boys & I really wanted a girl. I ended up having my girl but boy when it was ultrasound time to find out the sex I had the same questions you are asking. Looking back I should of just taken it day by day. She was our last baby too so I think what ever is meant to be will be. Think pink & maybe you will get your little girl. I was in disbelief even when I found out I was having a girl. It didnt seem real until I held her in my arms. My wish came true & I hope you get a healthy baby too. Good Luck

This is my second pregnancy and I just knew as did everyone else that this time is was a girl. I love my little man and really would have been very happy either way. But deep down I really wanted a girl but we are being blessed with another little boy. I won't lie and say that I wasn't a little dissapointed when we found out it was another boy but now I am very excited because my DS is so excited to have a baby brother. I am too. DH is happy for another reason- we can reuse all of DS stuff, lol. I think that some dissapointment/saddness is normal especially when you really, really want one thing and it ends up being the other. I am sure that no matter the outcome of your US that you will be excited to not only find out what your little one will be but that they are also healthy and growing.

Aww, hugs to you. I can tell you that it won't make a difference the minute they are born. However, it is normal to want what your heart wants. Especially us moms, I think we all would love to have a girl from time to time :) Funny though, for me, I knew it was going to be a boy, and I wanted a boy. It was my husband who was a little disappointed when we found out the sex. He wanted a girl! It was very sweet. I can tell you that If i do have a second child, I would love to have a girl. However, it really boils down to them being healthy that counts the most in the long run.

Look at is as a meant to be type of thing. I look at my boy all the time and know he was meant for my husband and I. He was chosen. That's what helped my husband, and when he saw his son for the first time, it was proven to be true. It will be for you too :) I wish you much luck and a healthy and happy pregnancy and birth!

My husband wanted a boy so bad that he could taste it. When my daughter was born I could see the look on his face. He recently told me that he was very disappointed but he was happy that she was healthy, ten fingers and ten toes. With our second we decided to find out. This time its a boy and I saw the look of relief on his face. He told me the other day that his brother (who has a girl and a boy) made a comment to him that only a real man can make a boy. Needless to say that ticked him off. Now that they both have a girl and a boy he told his brother that he has the perfect family. We have a girl and a boy, two cats and a dog! His brother didn't like that statement. It always seems that they are in competion of each other. Anyway just remember that life is full of disappointments and you move on. No matter what the sex of the baby you will love them equally. Never think "what if" cause you will just drive yourself crazy. Think of this what if.... what if elephants could fly? Then you would never want to take your car out cause it would be covered in elephant poop! LOL!!!! Just thought I could make you laugh. Try not to worry about the little things and just enjoy that precious life you are bringing into the world. Best of luck to you and Congrats!!

I had 4 girls and never had any desire to have a boy. When we were expecting our grandson, I was momentarily disappointed. Now I can't even imagine why I EVER thought that. For me, it was the fear of the unknown. My grandbaby boy is my sweet boy and I can't imagine life without him.

If you don't get your girl now, you'll get your girl when you start having grandchildren. Don't worry. The time will go so fast you'll wonder how you woke up a grandma.

Oddly enough, when we found out the third was a girl after two boys, I had a strange let down feeling, isn't that weird? Almost like I was trying to psych myself OUT of wanting a girl.

It's perfectly normal for you to wish for a girl. As another mom put it (forget her name, sorry) on another gender related post, You won't be dissappointed the one you HAVE is another boy, but you MAY mourn for the girl that didn't come, you know?

Hope you'll let us know either way, k?

Happy Thoughts.

:)

With my first pregnancy I prayed night and day for a little boy, from the moment I was old enough to think about having a family which for me was 16 I always wanted a little boy. When the ultrasound came back and it was a girl I cried for two weeks straight. I was so upset because I couldn't see past what I wanted. Everyone in my circle was so upset with me for being selfish and not falling on my knees thanking God for a healthly baby and they were right but my feelings were what I felt and I couldn't betray how I really felt. Along came my first and she is the greatest gift in this world and I am so thankful she is a girl, she is my bestfriend well has much has an eight year old can be your bff. My second pregnancy I told myself I would be happy with what ever God decided I should have. The entire four months I kept psyching myself out, doesn't matter if it's a boy or girl, who cares? The sonogram came back another girl. I was devestated... I knew that this pregnancy would be my last and so I went into a state or mourning. I know it sounds very dramatic but that's what it felt like I was mourning the lost of what I wanted so bad and would never experience. I love my baby girl but honestly speaking and you all can place me in front of a firing squad but I still long for the little boy that I wanted. The little boy whose name was already picked out (Brandon James), the first baseball glove I was going to buy and all the sports events that I would have attended for him. If your heart wants what it wants don't feel bad about it, your human. Just revel in the fact that one day you will have grandchildren and you may revisit your wishes again. Good Luck my fingers are crossed for you! please let us know what you have.

Both of our families were convinced I was having a girl, but when I found out I was having a boy, I kinda went all cavewomanish and was thrilled to provide my hubby with another son to carry on the family name. It was weird, because I was like you, wanting a girl so much, I was afraid I would feel bad if I found out it was a boy.

With our first we didn't find out til he was born. I had a gut feeling at 7 months that we were having a boy which was a surprise because my side of the family is known for girls being born first then a boy. But I wasn't disappointed because I had that gut feeling. Then a few years later we finally got pregnant again and almost from the word go I knew we were having another boy even though I was hoping and wishing for a girl. My husband was the same in wishing for a girl. I was sad and teary eyed when the tech told us a boy. She didn't notice thankfully. With family in town at the time I had to put on a happy face til they went to the hotel that evening. But that evening even though I was happy he was healthy I still cried over him not being a girl. I love him to pieces.
He turned 11 this month and I still have the desire for a girl but sadly we havent been able to get pregnant again.

My first is a boy and my second a girl. With my third, I was kind of hoping for another girl for several reasons, but ended up with a boy. I have to tell you, the instant he was born, I couldn't imagine having any other baby -- he is perfect, and I can't imagine our family any other way. I suspect that if your baby is a boy, you will feel the same way once he's born.

Could you perhaps not find out the gender until the birth? I am pregnant with our 3rd. We have two boys. I figure that no matter what happens when he/she is born, I will be so high on endorphins and love that it won't matter. I didn't want months of thinking about it, so we didn't find out the gender. Well, I didn't find out gender with my other pregnancies either, for diff reasons.

So far I have 3 boys--I was pretty certain my 1st and last were girls, so was stunned to hear they were boys. I wasn't disappointed, and I really love my little trio so much! But, I admit it, I would love to have a girl also. For now I've been filling my need to buy girl clothes by shopping for my niece, and my desire to interact with a girl by babysitting my son's classmate. It has been working so far to keep the urges at bay :)

If you are planning on finding out ahead of time, I think it would be a good thing to know so that you can just revel in the birth day without having any gender disappointment.

well i only have one, so it was easy for me to "pretend" to myself that i didn't care. then when the day came, i realized i really did want a boy. so i decided that it was probably a girl....had myself convinced of it actually lol. so that's what i do. i convince myself that most likely it's NOT what i "want" (because how often do we really get what we want lol) and be ready to be disappointed, but look on the bright side and just get used to the idea. it's a boy, it's a boy, it's a boy....then if it's a girl WOW you can be SO excited. just talk yourself up, and make yourself get used to the idea that it is "probably" a boy.

set your expectations "low" and then you're often pleasantly surprised, i find.

NOT that a boy is setting your expectations LOW....just saying...you know what i'm saying :)

Well...I understand. To a degree.
I wanted a girl so bad when I was pregnant w/ my 1st. I would have been disappointed if she had been a boy.
When I was pregnant w/ my 2nd...TBH, I kinda hoped I would have boy/girl twins. Lol. I had my reasons (long). And I knew whatever the outcome I would have a little sadness at what it wasn't.
I really wanted my DD to have a sister. Still do.
But now I have a son...does he need a brother? Ahhh!

Ok...so I am nuts...but let me tell you this...I have a cousin that has 4 girls. They really wanted a boy.
Their 2nd grandson was just born.

I also had friends who were 2 of 4 sisters...again their mom has a little grandson.

So if this baby is indeed a boy...remember you may one day have a little granddaughter to cherish.
Trust God if you can, He doesn't make mistakes. ;)

With my 16 mo old I wanted a girl & ended up with a boy. I was a little upset about it when I found out, but I adore my red headed baby boy. I got him a few shirts that say baby brother... which I just thought were the cutest things ever. Today I am a little saddened because later today he will no longer be the baby... he is going to be a big brother to a little sister. I will have 3 girls and 3 boys... but my oldest girl lives elsewhere because I was really young when I had her. My 16 mo old was suppose to be my last, but thing happen & everyone is happy that our last is a girl - even my 4 & 6 yr old boys... but your right - all that really matters is that we as moms walk out of the hospital with a healthy baby in our arms.

Congratz on the baby!!!

When I was pregnant with my son my mother was so sure he would be a girl she bought dresses and bows and all the girl stuff. So when I found out I was having a boy she was so upset! I have 4 older brothers and all of them have boys except one has a daughter. But she wouldn't trade my son for anything! All babies are special and gifts, all can say is love your sweet baby, I know you will! Good luck and congrats!

Congratulations on finding out you are having a little girl!!!!!!!!!

My husband I and were pretty agnostic about our baby's gender but somewhere deep down I think I wanted a girl. So while I was waiting for my 16 week ultrasound, I started treating the little one like a boy so I wouldn't be dissapointed if it is not a girl well then low and behold I fell in love with the thought of having a little boy :-) we found out he is a boy at the ultrasound and I was happy and sad at the time. It would be so wonderful if one could have 2 babies- a boy and a girl at the same time!!!!!!!!!!

Ha. I kinda know what you're saying, in that I was a major tomboy growing up, girls were not my "friends" until older (in 3rd grade up, I made friends with 1 girl that I'm still friends with 28 years later, and in 5th grade I made friends with 1 other girl, who I'm still friends with, but really, I didn't have a lot of girlfriends growing up). Walking down the pink aisle in the toy section makes me feel sick to my stomach and hurts my eyes, I seriously hate pink (except outside in nature: the Canyonlands, sunsets, flowers) so bad. I began getting nervous that if I had a girl, I wouldn't be able to tell anyone because no matter what you say, people will buy pink stuff (she'd have to be wearing greens, yellows, and purples, but no gross pink). And then as she gets older: fashion? hair? drama? I don't know how to do anything. And then the beautiful name I chose---sentimental, sweet, different, and lovely, but DISASTROUS with our last name. I was a little nervous, even though I knew she'd have an awesome home and be loved. Thank goodness, both our children are healthy boys. I know how to deal with them.
However: the "what could have been" question is wrong. It "wouldn't" have been anything but what he/she is. The only way that "what could have been" question could be asked is if you purposely went in and purposely manipulated things to "make" a boy or girl instead of nature choosing. Not nit-picking on you, just gently reminding you that especially when hormonal, you just have to get a firm grip on your brain and keep it in check (like a rebellious horse that doesn't always want to obey---keep it reined in). It also helped me with my first child (the one I was so nervous would be a girl), to keep in mind the Bible verse that said something like "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you" and that we were made with a plan and a purpose. My bff and I made my son's cradle and cut out part of the family crest in the headboard, and burned "A Plan and a Purpose" in the footboard, and when having his special blanky made, we kept that: "A Plan and a Purpose" embroidered on his blanky too. That helped me keep things in perspective. I wasn't as concerned with the second baby.

Congrats that you are going to have your baby girl! That's wonderful! With my first pregnancy, I wanted a girl so much. I couldn't see myself with a boy. It turned out she was a girl and I was over the moon. When she was three, we got pregnant again and I was surprised to find myself wanting a boy. I wanted to have the experience of having one of each. Happily, he was a boy. We ended up getting pregnant a third time and I prayed for another boy. While I love my daughter to death, she's such a drama queen and my son was so much easier. I got my wish and had another boy. I feel my family couldn't be more perfect. What a far cry from ten years ago when I couldn't imagine having a boy at all!

Both my daughter and I secretly hoped her only child would be a girl. When the ultrasound revealed boy bits, we were both secretly disappointed. That was our initial reaction, which we only admitted to each other later. By the time the ultrasound session was finished, we were both so glad she was going to have a boy.

But I think everybody probably has their own issues to work through, so I imagine it would take longer for some.

I wish you a beautiful, healthy child.

Congrats about your girl all that pressure is off now. I know with my first I didnt care really. I had no wants or expectations. With the second, my husband who is of a culture, oriented around males, I really really wanted a boy. I knew if I had a girl he would be bitterly disappointed. We were only going to have 2 kids. He came with to the ultrasound and when she said, girl. He was visually upset. He never said anything but I could tell and my heart sank. I had a tough couple months pregnant, dealing with having a 2nd girl. In the end he loves her just as much if not more. I was thrilled with a second girl so soon after the first, I didnt have to get anything new at all. When I got pregnant with my 3rd BIG surprise, HUGE SURPRISE. We were not sure we were going to even keep it. Let alone it being a girl. I knew he was very upset at the prospect of yet another girl. So right away I said we are NOT going to find out till its born, after a long discussion about no abortions. I though didnt have the will power to wait. One ultrasound when he didnt come along, I asked and it took a while for them to get to that point but I was so distraught I told her, please just type it on the screen for me, cause if I hear you say it I will bawl. Finally towards the end she smiles and types CONGRATS ITS A BOY. I bawled anyway. I was so happy. I never told him I found out, but he guessed it about a month from the delivery. He just knew it was a boy cause I was in no way nervous, upset, or stressed about his questions and complaints about another girl. He finally asked if I knew and I said yes, so he made me tell him. I just wrote it on a note card and put it with his meal on the table... he smiled and jumped around for a while! When R was born he was the happiest man alive I think. Men and their need to pass on the family line.

I just delivered my 3rd girl . . . to be completely honest, I was slightly relieved to hear it was another girl . . . let's be honest, I know how to do girls. I know how to dress them, how to play with them, etc. I'm clueless when it comes to boys - I'm a wreck with my 2 year old nephew. If she'd been a boy, I would have delt with it and yes, loved him as much as I do my other girls. We wanted a boy and sometimes I wonder if I was relieved as a way to not be disappointed she wasn't a boy. We plan on another and I will love whatever it is. I had a nephew that died at 3 weeks old, towards the end of my pregnancy - wow, if that doesn't put it into perspective. As long as it's healthy, I'll take whatever.

You will love the baby no matter what, as you said. Though for me the disappointment didn't go away as soon as I held my son, I loved him instantly.

With 1-3 I didn't know the sex until I had them. With #3 when I delivered him I held my breath until they said its a boy... then I broke out crying! I knew my husband didn't want any more kids and I so desperatly wanted a girl. My mom slapped me and said stop it. He has all 10 fingers and toes and he is healthy, that's all that matters! And she was right and I did quickly get over my selfishness.

When I went in for my ultrasound with #4 I just "knew" it was a boy, so I wasn't really disappointed.

BUT with #5 I wasn't sure what the baby was when I went in ( the others I wanted a girl, but deep down I knew they were boys) When she told me... your other boys will have fun with her... it took me a minute to click, then I looked at her and "her"? She just smiled and shook her head yes. I cried for a half and hour! I was so happy to finally having my girl.

Honestly when I held her for the first time, it was no different than holding my boys for the first time. My love for her is no different than the boys. The only thing different is Im not sure how to handle her 3yr old drama and mood swings she has already!! Heaven help me when she hits her teens! lol

Good luck and I hope you find out your having a girl... but more importantly I hope you are having a healthy baby :)

We were convinced I was having a boy when I was pregnant with my first. We didn't find out, so when the doctor said it was a girl, we were really shocked and yes a little disappointed. However, it quickly went away, I mean so quick I was over it by the time I got back to my room and really got to hold her. I had a c-section so I couldn't hold her right away. I wouldn't change it for the world. With the second pregnancy, I wanted another girl, which was odd, because I always wanted 2 boys. I wanted my daughter to have a sister and enjoy that relationship like I do with my sisters. Well I'm having 2 boys. I was again shocked and a little disappointed, but again got over it quickly. It really depends on your attitude. I just want you to be aware of your emotions if your disappointment lasts too long. I know there are a lot of posts that say when you see him you will get over it immediately, but that doesn't always happen. My SIL always wanted a girl, and had 3 boys. With the birth of each boy she sunk deeper and deeper into depression. I just wish she would of realized it sooner as I think it affected her relationship with her boys.

Oh, you want the girl. I always wanted to fill my life with boys. When I found out my second child was a girl 3 years ago I was devestated. My husband too. I came from a family of 3 girls. Never had a brother and always wondered what it would be like. I was right,about my first child, a boy. He's so easy to be with. He's black and white. I don't have to deal with the whinny, nagging girly things.
I am crazy about my daughter, she's my little buddy, but she has her issues at three. She tells me if she doesn't like a particular clothing I'm putting on her. She throws a fit when she has to go out with this sweater I bought for her not so long ago. It's insane. I don't like girls being choosie at this stage of their lives. It's constant. This is one of the main reasons I didn't want a girl. By the time she reaches 15, she'll be asking me for money to get her nails,her hair, and all the other silly things done. Girls are expensive, they have more demands as they get older. Don't get me wrong, I love her dearly, but boys always seemed easier to me. Who knows what will happen when my children get older. My son may turn out to be the difficult one in the end. It is important that you have a healthy child. Nothing more. Good luck, and let us know what you'll be having.