What's the Ediquite on Thank You Cards?

We're the same way. My mom had us write thank you cards to anyone who sent us a gift. If they were at the party and we got to thank them personally it was fine. I agree big events should be followed with thank you cards even if gifts are open at event.

I don't know if they expect it, but I make my kids do it anyway. That's the way I was raised so I guess it's a habit.

I'm an East Coast girl and I suppose there is more tradition back there. Now I'm in CA and no one but my family has ever sent me thank-you's for the kids Birthday and X-Mass presents.
I did it for the boys 1st Birthday as well as Christmas and will continue until they are old enough to do it themselves. I think it's important to teach manners early on...it's a nice way to get the kids involved in showing gratitude for the gifts they receive!

I suppose it is personal preference. I was raised sending out thank you notes. My mom always told me that if you don't show your appreciation, people may not be so inclined to give again. I follow the same rule with my kids. After any gift I always send out thank you's. My sister in law on the other hand, does not. To be honest, it bother's me. I feel she is ungreatful for what we give to her kids and so does my husband. I'm sure she thinks nothing of sending out thank you's and when she gets ours, just throws them away. Personally I'd rather have someone just throw it away than be disapointed and wonder if the gift was recieved.

I say ALWAYS ALWAYS send thank you for any gifts! Not only is it polite, but it is a great lesson for your kids to learn. They should learn to do this because it is proper etiquette. ALWAYS!

Hi J., I was raised to write thank yous to everyone for any gift received. I now make my 2 and 5 year old write thank yous(with my help), and have had them do it since they could hold a pen and scribble. I think that it is a nice way to teach the kids independence as well as manners(they love feeling big and sending mail). Hope this helps. Good luck with your decision.

yes yes yes! I think a written thank you should always be sent after someone gives a gift (unless it's a thank you gift, such as someone bringing a gift if you host a dinner). It's also important to mention the specific gift so the sender knows it's not a generic thank you. Keep it really really short and sweet - and postcards are a great idea if that's easier. If it's a close friend, email is okay - or you could do an "ecard" which is more formal than just an email and saves a tree or two (Hallmark and Apple (.mac) have them for free among others). I know it's time consuming and can be a huge pain but unless someone tells you they don't want one, it really is proper etiquette to send them. If your kids are old enough, have them start writing them. It's a great thing for them to learn and they can practice their writing skills.

If the person is there when the gift is opened, I do not send a thank you card. If the person has sent a gift (happens a lot - our family lives far away), I do send a thank you card.

If I was at whatever event it was, and received a thank you in person, I do not expect to receive a card as well. But if I send a gift, a thank you card (or email) is the only way I know the gift arrived.

I think that if your children say "thank you" after opening a gift should be good enough, especially if you have a lot of people who attend the birthday parties. On the other hand, if the person is not there for your children to say "thank you" to, then I would suggest sending a thank you card. Another good reason to send a thank you card would be for an extremely nice gift, such as a bicycle from their grandparents or something. But just saying "thank you" after opening the gift or card should suffice.
Oh, and don’t forget to tell them, “Thank you for coming” while they leave, which I am sure that you do. ^.-

M. *~

I think people definetely expect thank you cards. Its a huge hassle I know (I'm really lagging on my sons bday thank you cards right now), but its pretty important. They do have cards that say, "Thank You _______ for the ________" and all you have to do is fill in the name of the person and the gift. You can get then at the Hallmark store. Of course its not quite the same as a hand written note but if its that or nothing I'd do that for sure. In my opinion its important to teach your kids to do that, my son remimds me now!!! Hope that helps. ~A.

Absolutly send a thank you. It shows your chil dthat it is important to be polite and thankful for what they are given. Plus, even if others do not send them, you stand out as a great person.

I usually send out thank you cards with pictures in them. I just like receiving them and think they are appropriate.

But, if you don't have time, money, etc., send thank you postcards instead.

Take Care,
F.
ww.discoverytoyslink.com/fatimac

Just wanted to add my 2 cents to the mix. I always always send written, snail mail thank you cards on behalf of my son. He is only 2 now so its not necessarily to teach him a lesson since he doesn't even know I'm doing it (although it will eventually become a lesson) but I feel it acknowledges the other person taking the time out of their busy schedule to do something nice for my son. People are so busy now adays (me included) that sometimes if I don't get a thank you card I feel like I'm being taken for granted - that a gift was expected. What I've been doing is picture thank you cards from Shutterfly where I put in a preprinted message and then it just takes a minute to add a personal note about the person's specific gift. This way they get pix from the event and a note. People always like to get personal things in the mail amongst all of the junk mail. I mean lets be realistic - it doesn't take THAT long to write out some notes - 15 minutes or so? I do this even if the person is present at the party or gift giving itself. I am coming to realize this is not always the case with others (going to their kids parties) and I can certainly live with that no problem but what I do find completely annoying is when you mail someone's child or your nephew or someone a gift and get absolutely no acknowledgment. People will respect and appreciate that you took the extra effort.

This is a little late, but wanted to respond. My son is almost 4 and I've been sending his thank you notes for every birthday. I let him draw on the cards and tell him this is a thank you note to your friends and family. I've been to many kid's birthday parties and I have gotten many thank you notes in the mail. It really shows the guest how much you appreciate them. I have even had a play date at a friends house and we sent a thank you note for having us as guests in their home. It just makes me feel good to make others feel appreciated and it shows good matters for my son too. I plan to send thank you notes always. Of course I love to write so it gives me an excuse to use my good sationary. Happy sending!!

Proper ediquite it that you do send a "Thank You" card out for each and every gift even if you have thanked them in person. Especially a thank you should be sent for gifts received via the mail. I was raised that you always send out a thank you no matter what. I am raising my children to do the same. If you purchase any ediquite books they will tell you the same and that an email is not the same. I think that in todays sociaty we have gotten away from the basics. No one sends nice mail anymore. I send out random cards to my friends and family just because. I know I can email but nothing is better than getting something nice in the mail rather than a bill or junk mail. Besides the person receiving the thank you took time to get you the gift the least you can do is take the time to send a proper thank you. Don't get me wrong I'm busy with two kids and would love not to but I know that it's proper and that's how my Mother and Grandmother raised me to be.

T.

I am HORRIBLE with sending thank you cards so I started giving them out at my kids' birthday parties when the guests left. Each year we make a cd of my kid's current favorite songs - usu tunes from movies etc. and place them in a favor bag with a thank you card. The card says, Thank you so much for sharing _________'s (age) birthday with us. We hope you enjoy the enclosed CD of _________'s favorite songs. Sincerely, _______________ I have found that this way I still give out thank you cards without having to mail them later (which I know will never happen).

I do send them out for birthdays and stuff. It's always a nice thing to do and it's more personalized than just saying thank you right there and then beucase then you sound kind of like a robot repeating yourself to everyone. So, it's nice when I do get them and so I make sure I send them out too

Okay, apparently, I am the cad among all mamasourcers.

Personally, I think that, yes, etiquette dictates that they should be sent. And I agree that it is nice to receive the personalized handwritten thank you note...however, I just don't have the time (not to mention the mental capacity!) to do it every time.

I make sure to send out Personalized Thank You's for the "big" things like wedding, shower, etc. However, I am just as happy when I receive a phone call or better yet, a IN PERSON "hey thanks, I LOVE "x"". As long as it is acknowledged that I took the time, not to mention spending the money, to get "you" a gift, I don't think ill of the receiver if I don't get a "thank you" in the mail.

That said, I am attempting to teach my son to send thank you's...even a scribble/art on a piece of paper...but if someone thinks that I am not civilized because I didn't send a proper thank you card for every gift we've received...all I have to say is...oops, sorry.

So, personally, I would say as long as the gift/giver is thanked in SOME FASHION, you're good...ideally, send a note card...however, I would like to think that most busy moms would understand if they didn't receive a card every time.

it is always appropriate to send a thank you card when you receive a gift.

I'm not sure what ediquite says, but we send them for everything. My friends don't really care but "Family" certainly does. So we just make it a habit to send them, when I make invites I address the thanks you cards at the same time and then I just have a quick card to make and it's already addressed

H.

Hi J.,
My mother in law always sends cards, she would rather receive a note in the mail than a phone call. Since she loves that, I do it for her. She enjoys reminiscing about our recent visits so I always include a little picture. What I do, is if it makes them happy and they are important to me, then I do it. If they don't care, I don't bother. It is not my normal nature to write notes. I feel an email is a perfect acknowledgement as well.

I've got to say yes. The other person took the time to shop/wrap/give a gift. If your kids are old enough have them write a note. If you send invites make a lable file that you can print out for addresses. Then you are only writing the note and your addresses are all printed out. I also keep a roll of return address labels printed up for just this reason. You just slap on a couple of stickers and a stamp and you are good to go.

Hi J.:

I'm not sure if it's the proper or not, but I never expect a "thank you" after giving gifts at birthday parties. And I don't send them out after my childrens' parties either. As you said, for big events, I do send them, but not for the birthday parties. We make sure we thank everyone for the gifts and for attending before they leave the party.

Had to comment. I was raised to send them and have done the same with my two boys 5 & 1. I make it am art project for them at this age. I think it is really important in this e-mail time to teach our children to cherish writing. I have known people to stop giving gifts for not recieving Thank You's. I am REALLY busy as well and still somehow find the time. But I do have to say you should do it because you want to, not because you feel it is right- it does show.

Can't wait to hear about RSVP's!- My Goodness!

I always insist that my daughter send hand-written thank you notes for every gift she receives (and I do it, too). She always says something about the gift, i.e. how much she likes it, what she will do with it, etc. I dislike generic thank-yous. It makes me think the child got so many gifts and no one kept track of who gave what. Many people spend a lot of time choosing a gift they hope your child will love. It is traditionally not necessary to mail a thank you to someone who was present when the gift was opened, but we do it anyway, because it's nice. Often I send my daughter's birthday pictures enclosed with the thank-yous to far away relatives. It's a nice habit to form.

this is a huge issue of mine. I have been to over 100 birthday parties since I have been a mom and I have only received 1 thank you card. They may not ahve known what it took to but the gift and I didn't buy the gift to get attention, but an official thank you would be Nice. My kids have been writing thank you cards since before they could write. I would sit them down and have them draw a picture or a handprint; something to show that the gift or their coming to the party was appreciated.

The guests took time out of their day and money out of their bank to buy a gift. They deserve a handwritten e-mail. If you think about it like this:

One of your guests has a full time job and she only makes $10 an hour. She buys your child a gift that is $23.00 plus the bag $5.00 and the card $2.00. She worked 3 hours just to buy your child a gift. Makes it feel a little more important doesn't it.

It is common courtesy to send a thank you card for a gift. It is something that your child should be taught immediately. kids don't appreciate the things they have anymore and the lengths that people go to so they can have those things. If your child doesn't want to write the cards then don't throw them the party.

People may not expect to get a thank youca rd, but why would you resist sending one? A thank you at the party is more of a reaction than a sincere token of appreciation.

Ok that's all I have to say about that...next week RSVP's.