A.G.
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Dallas
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We specified all of the particulars in a will.
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I have a kid and he doesn't.
What about life insurance?
My BF and I are *talking* marriage. Both of us have been married before.
If he dies - I would get his life insurance.
If I die, she would go live with Disneyland Dad. Probably. I mean she's almost 12 and even though I have sole custody.... he isn't abusive or whatever and they play "words with friends" almost weekly (eye roll) and she sees him one week at spring break and six weeks in the summer (well, at least for the past few years..... but I digress).
Currently, my life insurance is set up to go into an account that my sister (an attorney) would manage. My sister would pay her dad the amount of monthly child support that I currently get, plus an allotment of travel expenses for my family if they *used* reverse visitation.
I have $100,000 in life insurance.
If I am attacked by an angry swarm of blue jays on the way home tonight..... That $100,000 would distribute as follows:
$28,880 – 6 years and 4 months of “reverse” child support
$ 6,000 – travel (plane tickets have typically run about $600 each trip, which we split. That would be $3,000, but I figure he won’t pay ½ since he’s not “obligated” to let my family see her.)
That’s $34,880. That means there is $65,120 left. Right now, if I am by myself my sister has been instructed to use it to pay for my daughter’s college or whatever, and anything left would go to my daughter when she turns 21 – or upon completion of a bachelor’s degree.
But, I’m getting married and we will need BOTH our incomes to *survive*. So, if I die…. My husband would need some of that to get through the year – house payments, car payments etc.
If I’m married, he would inherit my debt, right? So, that would need to be paid off.
Thoughts?
Good points - thanks. I do have a will. I indicated my sister is a lawer just to not get "what if your sister doesn't do what you want her to with the money" questions.... she's a patent attorney and has for the most part stayed out of any of my family law drama.
I wasn't necessarily wanting legal advice. Just what other parents have done about dividing stuff if they have a child and they get remarried.
Thanks!
We specified all of the particulars in a will.
Your debt will have to be paid off regardless of whether you are single or married, right?
I think that in your situation you should still designate that $100,000 as going towards your daughter. Maybe get another policy with your husband as the beneficiary? or increase your policy and have multiple beneficiaries?
Buy an additional, smaller policy for him - it doesn't cost that much for term. OR save some money before you get married and then add to it as you are married for "his" money. Your daughter is your first priority and he is a grown man who should be able to take care of himself. Don't incur debt that he can't handle on his own. And he will only inherit debt you make together. He isn't responsible for what you had coming in so make sure you have documentation. But really, you should both be on solid financial ground before entering into marriage when there is a child involved.
If you can afford it get another $50,000-100,000 in life insurance. Set up a TRUST for your daughter with the original $100,000 and keep your sister as the appointed executor of that account...then it is your daughter's money no matter if you have a prenup or not. The rest of the life insurance should be left in your husbands name and should be enough to cover your debt and help pay the bills for a couple of years. Remember that the money will be taxed so $50,000 is not a lot less once the tax has been paid.
Your sister's a lawyer????
I'm sorry, but there seems to be quite a bit of confusion going for having free legal advice a phone call away.
Life insurance is a contract - it is distributed according to said contract.
Seperately, if you want to control how the money is spent after you pass, you'll need to set up a trust, with the life insurance going into the trust.
You completely lost me on the travel and "reverse" child support. I have never even heard of such a thing.
Marriage does not automatically mean "inherit debt". If you have BOTH signed for the debt - then yes. There are a few instances where marriage can equal joint liability, but most certainly NOT a simple "we're married, so now you owe half my student loans".
ETA - Bug - a living will is another name for what is now called a health directive. I.E. - if you're unable to communicate, that document states your health care wishes.
ETA2 - Ixnay on the ivinglay. I appreciate your distinction that you referred to her "living will" because she is alive. However, I point you to the legal precedent established in your following sentence, where you, presumably still alive, referred to your own "will", and not "living will".
They are two very distinct documents - but I certainly understand the confusion. :)
ETA3 - ROFLMAO... Ok. Good luck with your living will. No condescension intended.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance_health_care_directive
I would talk to your sister and see what needs to be done in that case. You still may want some of that put aside to go to your daughter but once you are married your husband should be intitled to some like you said for certain expences.
I reccomend you leave that that policy as intended - to take care of your girl. Take out 2 new policies. One for each of you.
Pardon me for sounding negative. I believe you will have a long and happy life together. But... on the subject of a pre-nup - Get one on him that you own. You control it. He can't change the beneficiary in a fit of anger and forget to change in back. If you split, you still get to keep it. Had you gotten one on your 1st husband, you would know for a fact that your daughter would be taken care of if he passed. As it is, you can't really be sure what kind of life insurance he has on himself or who the beneficiary is. The time to take care of that is when you 1st get married or start having kids together.
I think if there's no child involved, there should be no "need" for an inheritance. So if you get remarried, not sure why your husband would "need" life insurance from you. Debt on a house you bought together theoretically could go away bc why would he need a bigger house than he can now afford if it's just him again? If you have other debt that he would be liable for, then yes, I think he would need life insurance to help. Otherwise, unless he was going to be the one to take care of your daughter, he'd kind of be back where he was before he married you. No extra liabilities/costs.. . I'd be way more worried about protecting your daughter. In the event of such a tragedy that she loses her mother, at least I'd want something financial to help. ie: college paid for, a bit of money to help with her wedding etc.
I'm a huge believer in pre-nups, even for the non-rich, especially if you own a home, have a 401k or any other savings (college fund in your name not daughter's), etc. A basic prenup just says "what's mine up until this point is mine or my child's" and after that point, it's jointly yours. I think that anyone who isn't fresh out of school needs one.
As for the insurance, you could increase the amount of your one policy and then designate multiple beneficiaries with specific percentages for each. That might be less expensive than two policies. You can make the beneficiary for your daughter's care be a trust and name your sister as the trustee. Then you can name your husband as beneficiary for the remaining percentage.
