At work trying to pass the time so that I can go home to my real job!
Or if you were rolling in the dough would you ask your hubby to sign one?
If I/we had money like that, I do not think that I would ask and I do not think that I would sign one.
IDK what say you?
@ Leah: IKR that is why I said IDK, I might do as Charlotte in Sex & The City did and demand more money for my worth so much my hubby would say forget about the prenup. side note for the sensitive people: I do not put a price on who I am it was just a joke!
@ Tracy: That is soo honest & true. I read about Deon & Pillar Sanders and was thinking dang he was smart and dang she was dumb for signing a prenup. I just don't know!
What's wierd is if we are talking about me? Then No. I get all sorts of offended by it. But when I see rich people in the news that didn't sign a prenup, I shake my head at how dumb they were.
I would like to think that I would. It makes good practical sense to me to establish what's what and what's gonna stay what in the event of a divorce. Two people can always change their agreement later on, but it makes sense to spell it all out minus the starry eyes, for when those stars are gone forever. (People don't like to acknowledge that it won't always feel all fluttery, even if you live together happily every after.)
Keep in mind that a prenuptial agreement is ANY agreement established before marriage. It might be about a book collection or what happens to the dog. My mother and her husband agreed that her money would not go to him. Imagien this: Two 70yos marry. The wife has one living child; the husband has five. The wife dies and leaves everything to her husband. Then, the husband dies and the wife's child and all his children get to fight over the wife's stuff. A prenuptial agreement would take care of that. Same with divorce. I think after a certain point in life, some people think more practically.
If you've never been through a nasty divorce then you've never had the pleasure of seeing who another person can morph into when they are really hurt and angry, even if it's of their own doing.
My ex turned into a person I didn't know existed. When I married him, I thought it would be for life. I didn't want a divorce and I worked hard to do everything he wanted so we wouldn't end up getting one. I watched him turn into a mean, nasty, self-serving kid; hell-bent on giving me nothing and taking EXACTLY half.... down to counting silverware, plates and christmas ornaments, towels and sheets etc..... because that's what we finally settled on in our decree when we "split" the marital assets. He took 1/2 a ream of office paper for crying out loud.
BEFORE I married him he was super generous.... he even bought me a car before we were married and we bought a house in his name and he put my name on the deed. Very thoughtful, generous etc. Then things didn't go his way.... he couldn't have the # of kids he wanted, or the truck he wanted or the whatever he wanted.... we had fertility issues, life happened..... and WHAM.
*sigh*
So now I know better.
If I had "assets" prior to marrying someone, and that made us unbalanced, I would absolutely do a pre-nup. Marriage is about love, yes..... but it's also a legal contract. And just like a will, where you divide up your stuff in case something happens, a pre-nup will put everyone on the same page about who 'owns' what and where 'everything' goes.
Do you not take out life insurance on your infant.... because to do so would mean you think something might happen? That's ridiculous. You do the responsible thing.
Do you not specify guardians for your child because to do so might mean you think you might die before your child is 18? No. You do the responsible thing and you plan for the things you can't forsee.
Right now..... I have NOTHING. Less than nothing, actually, because I'm in so much debt from student loans. So, if I met someone with whom I was financially unbalanced...... and he asked me to sign a pre-nup, I would. I'm not marrying him for his money. I'm marrying him because I want to be with him, do things with him, take care of him and have him take care of me. We would work out whatever financial arrangement for after he's *gone* (death....whatever) because that's what you do when you are responsible. It's part of making a plan for your future.
It would be so much fun if we needed to!!! Since we are WORLDS away from needing a prenup it is hard to imagine being offended by it :-)
We actually talked about this before we got married. I have a fairly sizable inheritance from my grandparents and will inherit a lot from my own parents. I make more money than my husband does and his family has nothing financially.
He was fine signing something if I wanted him to. My family attorney looked through all of my grandparents' and parents' documents and the way they are written would make it nearly impossible for someone else to access that money, so it was a moot point.
If he had asked me to sign something, I would have. While my husband is my love, you simply don't ever know what can happen. Everything we have accumulated as a couple is "joint" in every way. Finances that we had coming into the marriage have remained separate in every way.
First marriages for both parties . . . no (unless there was some special issue).
2nd marriages with prior born children . . . probably.
Being who I am and having gone through the experiences that I have gone through, no, I would not consider either scenario. However, I can appreciate that I have never been divorced and have an amazing husband. Further, I've never had so much money that would warrant me to even consider it. Experiences can surely color a person's opinion about this.
I think that a prenup should really only be to protect any children that came before the marriage. For example, you have a child or children from another person than the one you are marrying and if for some reason the marriage doesnt work out then at least you dont lose out on money that could/should be there for YOUR kids. Otherwise a prenup, IMO is just a fancy way to ask for an insurance policy on your relationship
My boyfriend asked if I would sign one, and I said sure.
It's kind of silly because he only wants one asset listed on it, his parents house. He gets it when they pass and it's in a super nice area, and worth a lot. More importantly it was his childhood home and all his memories are there, it has to stay in his family. He wants a pre nup for it so it would never be considered as shared assets if there were a divorce, or a death. I totally agree, so while I assured him I would never be able to take that house no matter how scorned I am, I would sign it for his peace of mind.
Not offended or bothered by it at all. =)
Not even rolling in it :-D LOL and yes I would and so would he. We love each other and trust each other but if one asked the other....sure no problem, because it is a non-issue. Oh yeah 2nd marriage for both and together 18yrs wooo hooo
After my divorce all of my assets went into a trust for my kids. So, my husband cannot get to them. Still this was done not because of some lack of trust, it was actually done three years before I met him. It was a matter of these assets I got from that marriage so they should be kept separate.
Our assets are and were very skewed to me so we did talk about it, never did it, talked about a post-nup, never did it etc. I think it's people like Wickerparkgirl that I would hear about and think "of course no one ever EXPECTS to need a prenup" etc but lots of times people did or wish they had one. My parents were very in favor of it and a friend of mine did it. I just never actually sat down and got it done and am optimistic I won't need it. knock wood :) So if my husband had asked me bc assets were skewed to him heavily, I probably would have been ok with it though hopefully it would have been at his parents' prodding vs all his idea!
With my husband no but if I had money and ended up with the guy I dated before him yes for sure. It all depends on trust lvl.
My view is that if you think there is a chance that the two of you might not make it and want to sign a pre-nup...you shouldn't be getting married to that person in the first place. I think it indicates a lack of trust.
No, and I wouldn't marry someone who asked me to.
When I married my husband some 25 + years ago, we had together, maybe $300 in the bank! So no, we did not sign a prenup. Everything we have now, we earned together so its would be 50/50. However, God forbid, something happened to the light of my life and I remarried you bet I would! I would want to protect my assets that I come with to the marriage.
I would be cautious if he became a SO AFTER I won a huge lottery. Then he might be interested in just the $$. If he married you, became SO before winning big time, there was obviously something in you he found, more solid and grounded.
Turn it around. Would you sign if he won a jackpot? Do you see living the high life or donate to charity and stay the same as before? Invest? The possibilities are endless. But it can drastically change a personality fast w/out some self control and goals.
If you win big after you're married, it doesn't matter, really, because in the event of a split, you might be entitled to half of the assets gained during the marriage. You wouild have to find out what Michigan's stand is on equal split.
