What If He Doesn't Want Anymore....

If you really want another child, I think you should find a mate who would like one with you. I only have one because my husband isn't a huge fan of kids. I couldn't see bringing another child into this world if my husband wasn't going to care about them. I just think it makes for a bad situation.

I know someone who begged her husband to have kids even though she knew he didn't like kids at all, not even just a little bit. She gets upset with him because he won't pay attention to them.

another child takes TWO yesses, but only ONE no. if you are not pregnant, be sure that you don't get pregnant unless he becomes on board. it's not fair to him or the child. if this is a deal breaker for you, then you need to think long and hard about the relationship. good luck.

i think in this sort of situation the 'no' must always prevail. people should not reproduce, ever, if they are not ready and eager to do so. babies are treasures and deserve no less. if you are dead set on having a baby, i would find another mate.
khairete
S.

Hopefully, one of you will change your minds. If not, you might have to make a decision on what you want more. To be with him and have no more, or move on and find someone who does. I hope you're pregnant. =) Good luck to you!

Those mommy urges are completely natural, and will probably continue for most women no matter how many children we have. (At least until menopause, when those hormonal influences stop.) So, as with any longing, it's most important to look at the practical, long-term impact. And very few decisions have a longer-term impact than bringing another child into the world.

I've found that completely committing myself to the children I have has resulted in a happy, contented life, and a more-than-satisfactory experience with parenting.

In my case, I stopped with one. My daughter has in turn decided to stop with one, though she did have to deal with that longing herself. But now I have the most delightful grandson, so in a way, I'm getting to help "parent" another child. There's no way in the world I could be happier than this!

I agree with Jennifer, he has to be on board.........if you want him to stay in your relationship. You don't say if he is your husband or not, but either way, you don't just get pregnant and say surprise.

If you really want another one, then you need to discuss with him why and find out why he is so against it.......probably responsibility.......but either way, if you want more kids, you need to decide which is more important........the man in your life or you having another child..........

Good Luck and take care.

You need to talk about it. Talk about why you want more, why he doesn't, tell him how you feel about having a baby, his baby, that you don't feel your family is complete without sharing a child, etc...
It may not be something you decide in one or two conversations, it may be something that takes 6 months to really decide on between the two of you. Good Luck:)

Sit down and talk to him. Tell him how excited this prospective pregnancy has made you (once you know the answer) and ask him, for your sake, to please consider another child. Go over the pros and cons with him, and tell him why you feel the way you do. Then really listen to him. Does he make good points? This discussion is all about respect - his respect for you, and yours for him.

If at the end of it, he still doesn't want any more kids, you need to decide if you can live with that. It sounds like you are the one who changed your mind - not him. So whatever you do, don't be angry with him or resent him. Just make your decision about whether you can live with him and love him and be happy with just one child, or you cannot. Good luck.

If this "man" in your life is not your husband and you want more children, you may need to consider having a relationship with a man that wants children who can love the child you already have. If this "man" is your husband then you have a problem and there will be tension. There is always tension when what you want doesn't line up with what you have. We all have to learn how to live in the tension.

The first thing I would do if I were you is discover if you are pregnant. Then talk to your man and find out why he doesn't want more children. The thing I love best about my husband is his love for me is such that he will move heaven and earth to see me happy and if I wanted more babies he would make that happen. It is one of the many reasons why I love him and married him. Wouldn't you want the same for yourself?

I hope this helps. Keep me posted and I'll keep you in my prayers.

Oh boy! this happened to my in-laws only neither of them wanted a third baby at the time. She's 20 now but all 20 years came with a whole lot of resentment. My FIL was really upset about the whole thing and according to my MIL he resented her for getting preggers. I think it takes two to tango but that's just me =)

Just make sure that if you ARE preggers that he understands it's still his child and that you don't go through what my in-law's went through.

They are actually doing REALLY well now that my SIL is out of the house and in college. Perhaps that's just coincidence but either way I'm happy to report that they have FINALLY decided to act like a real married couple and not like roomates!

Best of luck to you all!

ok when my second child was born I was absolutely sure I was done but declined tying my tubes because I've read of complications for some women. Still I was sure I was content with my two.
Well after my youngest turned about 6 months I started wanting another baby again, this never happened to me with my first (we waited 6 years to get pg again).
I told my husband and he said " Are you joking? we just had another". I thought he is right, I'm crazy. Now my youngest is 14 months and the longing has not gone away, I would never get pregnant on purpose but to tell you the truth I've thought about it because the desire is so overwhelming (I won't do it though, I don't have the guts LOL).

I mentioned it again about a month ago and he somewhat understood my desire, since he knows I'm serious about it, it's not just a what-a-cute-baby-maybe-I'd-like-another phase , it's like I'm sure I want another child to love raise and share life with so he is not so set agaisnt it now. he sees our two daughters playing and knows it would be a blessing.
he said that next year we can talk about it again, that's huge! that's almost a yes. my husband is pretty stubborn so him saying we'll talk about it is huge.
just talk to your husband, tell him you can do the diapers, if he doesn't like to do that. if it's financial find out ways to afford another, just have a plan ready and also tell him you want to have that experience again, he already has two of his own, you would like the same.

My sister married a divorced man who has a child already and he has a baby with my sister so was dead set agaisnt another since for him that's two. his oldest lives with the mother in another country so it's ridiculous that my niece won't have siblings just because he has responsabilities to his oldest.
anyways, I think you should go for it, but that's just my opinion. talk to him you might be surprised.
blessings!

My husband and I talked about how many kids we wanted before getting engaged. Although that number may change (now that we have two!), I feel that if you are really set on another and he's not, then maybe the relationship is not going to last. With me, I would like a third (and maybe fourth) but if my husband was REALLY insistent on not having another, I would be sad, but I think it would be okay with me. However, I say that knowing we've talked about having a third so maybe I'm not the best person to respond to this! LOL

I havent read your other responses but heres my opinion... ask yourself this, How much does your husband and the children you have mean to you? are they not enough to make you happy? I would be greatful for what God has given me.

Well, I didn't want anymore and we have another and he is THE BIGGEST Blessing in our life and our whole families' lives... don't know what we would do without him... God plans our families not us... we try but it doesn't always work they way WE THINK it should!

You need to talk to that MAN in your life... if he is committed to you and loves you, he will want what you want... NO ONE EVER HAS THE MONEY needed for kids, but that will come in time!

If you are, there's not alot you can do about it, with the exception of abortion, which personally, I don't believe in. You have your own opinions and convictions on that.

If you AREN'T, then LET IT GO! DO NOT SACRIFICE your desires/emotions for the sake of your marriage! This too, shall pass. Give it time, enjoy the family you have and don't focus on what you don't have. Focusing on what you DON'T have can destroy what you do.