What Do You Teach Your Children About Reacting to Hitting?

I gave my 5 year old the 3 step rule:

1st time: tell the other child LOUDLY " don't hit me"
2nd time: tell the teacher or the adult there
3rd time: hit them back (you can't be bullied either)

I taught my daughter never to throw the first punch, but that if someone hit her, she was to deck them.

once again Old School mom- of someone hits you- hit back- not a popular vote in this day and age of "use your words mom's" but they never get in trouble at home for fighting back- fighting first is another story

Isn't walking away not reacting?

I never taught my kids how to react to getting hit, kind of figured it wasn't a daily thing like brushing your teeth, ya know?

I am sure they got hit from time to time but apparently they survived and it was never a bother they brought to me.

I've been sitting here trying to think if we've ever taught our daughters what to do if someone hits them...? I don't think we really have. They are both fairly assertive anyway, though (what I'm really saying is that they're BOSSY - and no, I have absolutely no idea where they got THAT from! ;). My husband, whom I think has always secretly wanted boys, has taught them both how to box (I mean, really?!) so I have the feeling that if someone tried to hit either one of them, it would soon be an all-out brawl. Both girls have a pretty mean uppercut. At least I know they wouldn't resort to hair-pulling - they have more skills than that! LOL I think being hit (at school or at the park, etc) is not something most girls really have to deal with though. We have never encountered it, anyway. Maybe it's more of a boy thing.

Some kids hit back, some don't. Either is a perfectly valid choice - but i'm quite sure it's more of a parenting lesson than a preschool lesson.

If I had to guess, I'd say the preschool probably has a no-hitting policy - so they'd rather see fewer overall violations rather than more.

When a child is young, they cannot, just do everything spot on, per reactions.
They are young and still learning.
So it takes time. It is not instinctive, yet.
Just keep teaching your child and role-playing.
And yes, when a child is young like this, you need to "interfere" and be an example for your child, and/or step in when something like this is happening. That is also another way a young child learns.
And teach him how to speak up, and to tell the Teacher or adult who is supervising.

Teachers, in school, in all grade levels, teach kids about hitting and behavior. My kids' teachers do.

I was bullied as a child (I had acne and I was overweight, and we were poor. Come on... trifecta.), and my parents offered all kinds of advice. It all just made me feel less than adequate, like I couldn't make my own decisions. So I take a passive stance regarding bullying. My daughters are 8 and 5 so we haven't experienced much. My 8-year-old has had some situations at school, but she tends to be very diplomatic and non-confrontational, so I cater my suggestions to her personality, demeanor, and her Christian faith.

For example, if your child is particularly shy, it wouldn't make much sense to tell them to fight back. I was always very shy and my Dad always got mad if I didn't defend myself by fighting back. It's not something I could have done.

I asked my daughter how she thought about killing the other person with kindness. She loved the idea and decided to give it a try. For example, one day a boy told her she was bad at soccer and made fun of her & laughed at her, which she took extreme offense to, as she's been on a soccer team since she was 4. She came home upset and told me what had happened. I asked her if she would like a suggestion on how it could be handled. She said yes, so I told her to try to put a positive spin on it. "Hey ___, you are a GREAT soccer player. Could you maybe give me some tips?" She will make the bully feel like a jerk for being mean to her, and she might just make a friend. She loved the idea.

Talk to your child, get a feel for what they think they can handle.

Good luck!

I tell my son never throw the first punch.
If someone hits him, tell him to quit it.
If the kid hits again, tell the teacher and make sure the teacher knows if she doesn't stop it, then my son will be forced to defend himself.
If he hits again, tell him to stop.
If the kid is still bothering you after all that, hit him back hard as you can.
He should not have to be anyone's punching bag and he's allowed to defend himself.
He's a black belt.
So far he's never had to hit back.
Once he told a kid to stop because if my son had to MAKE him stop the other kid was definitely not going to like it - and the other kid stopped.
My son is a head taller than most of the kids in his class.
He doesn't get bothered a lot.

I teach my child never to hit in anger or to retaliate. I feel this leaves the option of hitting for self defense open.

When one of my neices was in kindergarten and someone hit her she was knock the fire out of them and still tell the teacher. She is now 22 and if someone hits her, her gut reaction is to knock the fire out of them.

The other children have a range of reactions but none of them were necessarily taught what to say and do but were taught a variety of options they could exercise.

My son was the little kid that hit bigger kids. He was always heavy handed and could easily hurt you if he hit you. He finally stopped doing that when one of the bigger kids knocked the fire out of him. He would hit to see how others would react. I think he liked to see and hear that sudden ouch reaction.

He has long since grown out of that but still will wrestle and tussel with his friends and he is 17.

One way or another, schools (preschool and everything above) will teach that it is never okay to hit, and they will enforce that stance regardless of whether it was done in self defense or as an act of aggression.

My husband and I teach our kids this: If someone is being physically aggressive, you should always use words first (calm but strong--not timid or apologetic if someone is hurting you). You should also remove yourself from the situation if at all possible (something I think some kids don't realize is an option.) If the person ignores you and continues to be physically aggressive, you talk to the adult(s) in charge. If the physical aggression continues after you have spoken to the adult in charge, it is okay to defend yourself physically because you are not being given another option, and it is not okay for anyone to treat you that way. In our home our children are not punished for self defense IF they have followed ALL of these steps, but we have let them know, anywhere else they are likely to get in trouble regardless of what they have done to stop the aggression but that we want them to stand up for themselves if it's necessary.

Exactly what K1 said.

If his words don't get them to stop then he should walk away. I think that he should let the teacher know what is going on, but I know that is like tattling.

My husband told my daughter that if a kid hits her and she asks them to stop and they don't then to hit the kid back but I do not approve of that unless she really needs to defend herself.

we teach our kids that if someone is hitting you, then you tell them to stop. If they don't stop, then they can hit back and harder to make them stop. We tell them there are 3 times when they are allowed to hit:
1. self defense
2. in defense of others
3. in training

My husband was a marine, is now a cop, and does ju jitsu and stick fighting. My kids know how and when to hit and fight back

My kids do not always react either, they act like nothing even happened. I really think it has to do with the age. The more we model for them what they should say "stop" "don't hit me!" along with stepping in when we see it to let them know/remind them it's not okay, the more they'll understand...to the point that they eventually will get it. At least that's what I hope!