My husband has a godchild who is a 13 year old boy. (He'll be 14 in April.) We have NO idea on what to get him for Christmas. We have put lots of thought and effort into his birthday and Christmas presents but for the past couple years they have never been good enough...... He opens them and either pouts or just walks away and his mom says thank you for him.....
A little about him. Him and his brother are raised mainly at their moms home. They see their dad on every other weekend. Parents have never been married. The boys have NO discipline from their mom at all. They play video games, are on the computer, or watching tv constantly while at her home. My husband really wants to get him something he will like but we will NOT buy him video games..... We don't want to encourage their obsessions with these items.....
We would be willing to spend up to $40 if we knew he wouldn't just throw it away..... ANY ideas PLEASE?????
Thanks ladies for all the great ideas!
My husband would love to do something like a ball game with him but they live in the Twin Cities and we are West of St. Cloud. They only come this way about every other weekend to see their Dad. And the problem with my husband going there is that we farm so he can only get away for about 4 hours total in the middle of the day and almost all of that would be driving time.... But we are planning on keeping this in mind for the summer. Sometimes they come stay at their grandparents for a week so my husband wants to do something with him then when it will be possible! Now we'll keep our eyes and ears open for something this summer that will interest him!
So, we've decided to get him a South Pole hoodie from JCPenny's and a Subway gift card. That way he won't be able to get video games! LOL.
THANKS again for all the help!
ADDITION: He got the sweatshirt on Saturday. LOVED IT! He put it on almost right away and wore it the rest of the day! YAY. The first present he's liked in YEARS.
I am personally pretty bothered by the pouting. Could you do something with him instead of giving him something material? I think that might do him a lot more good. Good luck!
My 13 and 15 year old niece and nefew have asked for itunes gift cards the last few years. They love picking out their music. If he does not have a mp3 player yet, you could start him with an ipod shuffle, they are not as advanced as the others, but it will hold a lot of music and is really small so you can take it anywhere. Goof Luck.
I have a son who just turned 14 a couple months ago and I understand your frustration. My son will always happily accept an itunes gift card, but that isn't necessarily what you want to give him.
I'm sorry, but this Godchild sounds very spoiled! My son at least tries to show appreciation.
One thing my son really does like is getting the Ripleys Believe it or Not book. I saw the 2010 ten volume out at Sams. If you can seek out things like that, you might get lucky. Another idea that I've done for my neices and nephews in the past is I've bought them Movie tickets for 2. That's usually appreciated.
My son still likes going to the Pizza Machine. Maybe your husband could take him there for lunch sometime and they could do all the cool things together. That would be very memorable for this child.
I hope this helps you think on the right path. Since he is his God child he could always get him a good teen faith book. Being a God parent means that your making sure this child is getting his faith. I know it doesn't sound cool, just a suggestion.
My first instint, is NOTHING! But, my bark is worse than my bite. :) Try a gift card to somewhere that doesn't sell video games...movies?...rock climbing place?....golf lessons?....a family pass to the museum or zoo? Whatever the kid might be into or like and will be easy enough for his mom to take him.
Maybe a day out with your husband to a sports game or something outside with some physical activity? I'm sure he could use some positive male influence.
And then when he makes a face simply state that it was his last gift until he can be grateful. A lesson he obviously needs.
A couple years ago we got a teenaged nephew a share of stock (www.oneshare.com). You can buy it in a company he might be interested in (Nike, Marvel Comics, McDonalds, etc.). It comes with a ton of information about the stock market and gets kids interested in following their share. Our nephew, also a video game addict, has since purchased some additional shares on his own and really gets a kick out of it.
How about a gift card or an itunes card? Most kids that age have ipods and enjoy listening to and downloading music.
He is a rude little boy pouting about gifts. How horrible he isn't taught better. If it were me, I would give the $40 to a charity in his name.. something like big brothers and tell him that someone will appriciate this present this way. My niece has been that way for years and it is hurtful to her grandmother. I just stopped buying her something... but grandma can't so she gives her money. She is 25 now and should know better. Your godson won't learn from his mom or she would have stopped it. My daughter tried that one year and I took her aside and told her that she will NOT act that way and if it happens again all her presents will be given away to people who appriciate the love it is given with. Doesn't seem this mother is willing to put a stop to it, but you can remove yourself from his behavor by not getting him anything or give to charity in his name. Another thing you can do that will be appriciated later but not at 14 is give a savings bond. What I wouldn't do is put myself out for that kind of behavior by worrying about what to get him... he doesn't sound like he would like anything anyway.
What about a hoody? Something skateboardish, with a zip front and skulls on it, in grey or black? Or go to 3rd Lair skatepark and pick out a hoody. That's genuinely cool to a 13 year old.
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You could buy him a nice shirt and a gift card for the movies with some popcorn and candy?
Well if you don't want to encourage the video games and things don't go with a gift card from a department store because that is all that it will be used for. At that age they are hard to buy for if you aren't getting those things. You could try some sort of food item but it probably won't be a big hit either. A magazine subscription could be good and encourage reading but will only be used if it has to do with the video games. Maybe you should look into some personal hygiene items like a nice shaving kit. At his age this would come into play soon. Or a gift certificate at sports clips for haircuts or at a store that only sells shoes or some sort of apparel so they are limited to find something they like but not in the electronic area. Or a clock radio with the ability to play CDs might be nice. Good Luck!
My first thought when reading this is that the boy is craving attention or some positive male role model. `I think it would be great if instead of a regular Christmas present...your husband could spend some time with him. Does he like baseball, or any sports? Maybe your husband could take him to lunch somewhere teen boy friendly....ie Buffalo Wild Wings, etc. (It is a VERY popular spot for the 14-18 year olds in our area.) My nephew took a group of friends there for his 13th birthday party. They would have a chance to talk and your husband would learn what kind of things he likes.
good luck
Write him a card/note that celebrates the fact that he's a teenager now, or that he's growing up, or however you want to word it, and give him the money. (I'd say maybe $25 rather than the $40, but that's up to you.) I've taught high school, and I assure you--teens like money. Some say that money is impersonal, but you can let him know in your note that you care about him as a person. I am so glad you are consistent in being a part of his life even when you don't seem to be getting anything back. It may come to light later that you were one of the best memories of his early life. I've heard so many teens speak fondly of the relatives who send them money--and it doesn't have to be a large amount. Bless you for caring about him.
This is partially being a teenage boy. They are hard unless they have a specific hobby.
Since he does not have a father figure in his home it would be nice for your husband to do something special with him. Find out what interests him (other than video games) & do that. Maybe skiing, snowboarding, etc...
Or give him a gift card but with the condition that your husband takes him shopping & out to eat.
Sounds like what this poor little man needs is free-TIME! His parents don't appear to give a damn, how about your hubbie takes him to play pool, bowl, camp-yes it can be done in the winter! He doesn't want or need some STUFF, he needs SOMEONE!!
Miranda - without me reading all the other responses - I'm going to take a chance with my own idea here.
$40? Why not do something that apparently NO ONE else seems to do ... spend quality time with the boy. How about you and your husband take him to lunch and miniture golf? Or maybe to the raceway? Is there a college near by that you could take him to a football game? I think spending some time with the boy would be meaningful (even if he doesn't seem interested at first). I'm not sure where you live - but how about hiking in the woods - teach him how to shot a BB gun. There are plenty of things that you can do together that won't cost an arm and a leg. Seems like the young man could use some quality time with both a positive male & female role model. What about taking him to a batting cage for the afternoon and stop and have ice cream on the way home?
If it works out well - perhaps you can make a date to do it again in a couple months ... it could be his choice on what to do next time.
Good luck to all of you!
D.
A 13 year old pouting over gifts is ridiculous! I agree with the previous suggestion of having your husband do something with him...maybe go to the batting cages or bowling or something.
Otherwise, I think a gift card to Target or Subway or something would be good enough. He would appreciate it I'm sure. Even though it is not personal, teens are all about money, and at least it's better than giving him cash.
Another thing you could do is buy him a savings bond. My mom buys $200 bonds for all of the grandkids each Christmas...they already have tons of toys and don't need anything else. He wont care now, but when he is 21 and in college he will be very appreciative of the money then.
Good Luck.. Boys at this age aren't pleased with anything even if it is something they have asked for. How close is he with the child? Would he be willing to get tickets to a basketball game or some other event that is coming up that the kid wants to see? Being a single mom is hard, I am now single again with a 16 year old and sometimes it is hard to know exactly when to discipline and when not to. Instead of a gift how about a gift card or movie tickets? Maybe something he could share with a friend to get them out of the house.
i totally agree with jill...some kind of gift card to something that the family can do...and if it's not good enough than no more!!!!
I completely agree with the previous response. Tickets to an event that your husband can attend with him. Seems like this kid needs to get out of the house and away from the video games. He also needs a strong male role model. Spending a day doing a special activity with your family or your husband could be a great gift.
Don't give up on this kid. It isn't his fault that he has no structure and discipline.
Good luck.
I don't have any great ideas, I just wanted to tell you that I think it is great that he remains on your gift list. I am not certain that many God parents take the responsibility that seriously.
