I am on here alot and get lots of helpful info but dont normally ask, lol. My problem is I used to work full time and I have a 6 year girl; 4 year old girl and a 11 year old boy. I do work part time when they are in school and really need to work more at home but are not able most of the time. We get home off bus around 2:45 and I normally make dinner around 6:30 and we do have a couple after school things going on like one day is dance and then girlscouts and boyscouts. My issue is with my two girls. We dont pick up the 4 year old from pre school till about 4 but regardless my 6 year old is always in a bad mood and has nothing to do!!! I offer a snack after school and about a 30 min break and then its homework time. Well for her homework takes about 5 min and she is done and the rest of time she is whinning that she has nothing do and I am unable to get any work done for anytime. We have no kids that live close and no sidewalks so I cant send her outside and not much in our back yard. She loves read and has a bunch of barbies and little pet shops. I do try to play a board game maybe once a week but i always find myself busy with other stuff helping my son (who is ADD) with his homework cleaning up things like that. I tell her to go find something to play and suggest her toys and I get thats boring!!!!! And if offer to go get sister early so she has someone to play with she gets all mad why do I always have to play with her! What do other moms do? I also atleast need her to find something to do 45mins so I can get some work done. Thanks for any help.
I'll tell you what I do...I tell my kids to go find something to do. If they don't, I give them chores. Lots of them.
Yes, I still play and spend time with my kids...but it's important for kids to know how to entertain themselves too.
Is it possible to get up at 4 or 5 am, and work a couple of hours in peace before you get the kids up and off to their day? I used to do that when I was in grad school. Then you could devote after-school hours solely to the kids. If you're a night person maybe you could spend a couple of hours after bed-time getting some work done (my brain does not function at night LOL).
When my kids get like that it usually means they're just wanting some undivided mommy attention. Either that or they're getting sick (clinginess is a sign with my younger son, even at 14 - he normally does his own thing very well).
Maybe your daughter is just not able to express that need for you very well, so she's showing it by being difficult.
I found it very hard to work part-time - it always felt like I was trying to squeeze a full-time load into part-time hours. If there's any way that you can re-work your schedule I would try it. Your kids will not be this age for long, and they won't need you (and it will hurt).
Good luck - thinking of you!
Have you looked at the sites for games? like playhousedisney.com,nickjr.com or nick.com, pbskisd.org. also if you go to pbskids.org and look at the show zoom under recipes, crafts, zoom do's etc. they have MANY things that a 6 year old can do. example: (did this with my 5 and 7 yr old) take a dropper bowl of water and one penny. you have to count how many drops you can fit onto the penny before it overflows. they can do it over and over. my girls loved it. I hope it helps you, I've had that happen with my kids before. Jenn
Please...don't make little sister responsible for amusing big sister! Give your older girl time on her own (she will need it more and more as she gets older) and don't do the "early pickup so your sister can play with you" thing. A child needs to learn to amuse herself, by herself. This is a skill she can learn and will need. It's sad when kids either need a computer or another kid 100 percent of the time to be amused.
Do you hit the library often? If not, make it a once or twice a week thing. Let the older girl pick out heaps of books that interest her. Make it fun -- she can get a nice basket just for library books (keeps them together for return later!), maybe even organize them by which day she wants to reach which one, if she is a kid who finds it fun to organize and label stuff (use sticky notes). Challenge her: If she reads X number of books in a week, or reads X chapters of a longer book, etc., she gets a sticker on a chart and some form of reward after one week or whatever time frame you set.
Keep craft stuff around that she is capable of doing on her own. Kid scissors, glue stick, paper (not just construction paper but scrapbooking paper -- not for that purpose but because it has cool patterns), yarn, paper towel tubes, toilet paper roll tubes, cut-up cereal boxes...Set her a fun challenge: "What can you build to surprise me?" One day suggest she make up her own totally unique and crazy animal; another day, suggest she build her dream "park" by drawing and sticking stuff on a big piece of cardboard or poster board; etc. etc. You will have to get creative to get HER thinking creatively. Have a space where you do NOT care or worry about cleanup so she can glue and tape and be messy when you are not right there to tidy after her! Keep craft store items like plain wooden picture frames, craft foam frames, unfinished wooden boxes around for her to paint or glue things onto.
Give her household stuff that is totally hers and she knows it's hers to play with: Dry pasta in lots of shapes, boxes, your old clothes for dress-up. Encourage her to create new clothes for her dolls from scraps, using her kid scissors. She doesn't need to sew to make a shawl, a scarf, a skirt (tie it on with ribbon) etc. Tell her you would love a fashion show when you are done working (set a timer if that helps).
You'll have to do a lot of work up front but this will be beneficial in the end and teach her to be a good reader and be creative without having to rely on computer games or TV or her siblings all the time. Computer games for her age are OK but I don't even let my 10-year-old play on the computer more than a few times a month; she reads if she needs something to do.
One last thing! Eliminate the word "bored" from your entire household, permanently. Dont' use it, don't let your husband say it and don't let the kids say it. I told my daughter very early on "There's no such thing as bored. No one should ever be bored because if you have a brain to daydream with, you cannot ever be bored!" The few times I've heard her say it I give her a look and remind her "Nope, nobody is bored here." I hate the word but kids love to whine it, so smile and say "No such word here!" early on!
Set the table, make the salad, other chores?
Reading half hour? (She might get involved and go over!)
Computer math sites, reading sites?
My kids are all grown but just wondered if you have tired having her help you with dinner preparation or giving her a chore to do? That keeps kids busy plus gives them a feeling of helping and being productive. They always realize this though so be prepared. :-) Some kids do realize though and most really like helping. Give her something like folding towels, or whatever she can do to help. It would help you, give you time to chat with her maybe, make her feel like she's helping out which she would be.
Get her to read for that time. Tell her that after homework she gets 15 minutes for a snack and then 15 minutes to read. And then go get your daughter early.
I had to chuckle when I read this question only because what I wouldn't give to have nothing to do after school. My 4 year old crawled of at the base of the recliner I was sitting in doing my homework last night and played his DS. He just wanted to be near me.
Does she play computer? Can she play outside? Can she take quiet time in her room? Watch TV? Do art? And I'd give her 2 options and if she doesn't take them too bad. Not to be mean, but she's big enough to find something to do on her own. Give her some time, and then she needs to do her own thing.
I know exactly what you mean. I used to try to work part time from home and had the same problem. Felt guilty working because my GD didn't have anything to do after homework and I hated seeing her bored. This is just a couple of things we did.
Art/crafts - give her scissors, construction paper and a glue stick and maybe some pasta or something from the kitchen that she can use to make an art project. Or, get a balloon, show her how to cover it with paper mache one day and then the next day or two, paint it.
If you have a family member far away, maybe making a card or writing a letter.
Computer games are also good and educational. Even if she's just playing My Little Pet Shop, she will be practicing her reading skills just by reading what's on the screen. Playing those games really helped my GD want to read better so she could play better! Teach her how to play Solitaire.
Maybe once a week or so, invite a classmate over to play for a couple of hours in the afternoon.
My daughters school has set up accounts for the kids at www.ixl.com.
It's an educational web site that the kids can use to reinforce what they are learning at school. You can set up your own account - it doesn't have to be through the school.
This may be an educational way for her to use the computer if she likes that kind of thing. It usually takes my daughter 30 - 45 min to do a course, although it depends on how challenging it is for them, of course.
It is seriously not a parents job to entertain kids. After her homework is done she needs to go watch TV or play with her toys. I always do the homework stuff after dinner so the kids can have a break and play for a while. Maybe you can do a break after snack so the kids can play together for a bit and you can find time to finish your work agenda.
Bored is a naughty word in our home. Only boring people are bored
There is so much to do.
Paint, color, knit, cross stitch. Grow a garden and tend to it.
Clean the bathroom, help fold clothing.
Help get dinner ready.
Watch a video.
Play on the computer.
Put together puzzles.
Read
Go to the Teacher Supply store and purchase work books.
Word search books
Book of Mazes
Get her some out door things she can do. Jump rope, croquet, Tether ball, swing, air pogo.. An tent to play in.. A giant box to turn into a playhouse. Invite one of her classmates over so they can play together every once in a while.
How do your girls get along typically? ie: on weekends? Yours are a little further apart in age than my 2 girls but mine play together so well!! (usually). They're just turned 6 and 7. If your daughters usually play well, don't ask your older one anymore. Just pick up your younger one and hopefully they'll start playing. I also find telling my kids if they're bored they can help me clean or clean their rooms helps... Or have her help you with early dinner prep. It's really a pretty short time your daughter needs to entertain herself. I think her saying everything is boring is a good way to get your attention. Perhaps carve-out 10 more minutes to be totally focused on her and that might change her attitude. A friend also heard a lecture that when your kids say "I'm bored" just say "oh, that's a shame." My mom NEVER played with me and my sister is much older. Granted, there were a lot of kids in the neighborhood but I would look at more dedicated time with her, getting her sister home earlier and mapping out a schedule to show her she gets you for x amount of time, then x minutes she does this, x minutes is up to her etc. It's not like you're expecting her to entertain herself for hours...
She is probably board cause she wants your attention but I know its hard when you are working. Is there anyway to give her a half hour that si all for her? Can you build something together like a model plane or some such. A little every day. Gardening outside or inside.
My oldest is 6 and she gets to watch a couple of pre recorded shows after school with a snack and then homework. After that she can play with her 2.5 yr sister or the newest thing her Leappad.
