Making Homework Not Just a Big Deal

Homework at five is beyond ridiculous.

I didn't make my child do homework. She knew the teacher required it and that she had to do it if she wanted a good grade. If she didn't do it, she got a 0. She didn't want the 0, so she did it.

I don't blame her. She is 5, and she shouldn't be doing homework. She should be playing. I swear, the things I read on this site about what they are making 5 year olds do. It's as if no one in the educational system has actually read anything about what's effective and what's not!

How about just not doing it. The research shows zero benefit to children in elementary and middle schools and the pendulum in many districts is swinging away from homework. Just let her teacher know that after school time is for outdoor play and family time. Both of these have well documented benefits. My son had no homework in his Montessori kindergarten. He currently (first grade public school) does his homework when he feels like it (oddly this has become more frequent). I have seen no negative repercussions and his teacher is definitely on board with family time being more important.

People seem to have the assumption that skipping it is not an option? Why not? No benefit and a real risk of making her dislike learning. So not right.

I have raised three kids, and I now fully do not believe in homework. You know how everyone is raving about Finland's educational system these days? Well, in Finland, they have minimal to no homework.

A 5 year old should be playing after school. A high schooler, who has just spent almost 8 hours at school, should not have 3+ more hours of homework. Our educational philosophy is really messed up.

Have fun with your daughter, and leave her homework between her and her teacher. A positive family life is WAAAAAYYYY more important than a bunch of busywork.

Read her a lot of books. It's the best education any child can have.

p.s. The less I battled my kids about their schoolwork, the better educational experience they had. My youngest child graduated high school in the top of his 500+ student class with a 4.6 GPA, and I almost never involved myself in his schoolwork.

I've found that snack and then straight to homework works best for my girls. If I were to let them play first, they'd certainly resist having to stop that in order to do homework.

Is the teacher assigning appropriate homework? At that age, it should be maybe 15-20 minutes, max. If it's any more than that, I think you hit a point of diminishing returns very quickly. If she's doing more than that, I'd speak with the teacher about it.

The one thing that stuck out of me in your post is that you cook and help your daughter at the same time. You might try, instead, sitting with her and giving her your full, undivided attention during homework. So homework becomes mom-and-daughter time. I don't mean do the work for her or tell her if she's getting something wrong, I just mean building in a positive association for her. You can step back and start multitasking in a few weeks or months, once she accepts the routine.

I have a first grader and I don't *make* him do homework. I make sure he has time, a distraction free place, and my help if need be. If he refuses I tell him it's up to him if he wants to get a bad grade and walk away. So far he has chosen to do it. I'm hoping he will eventually worry about his grade instead of it turning into a power struggle with me.

I have to say that I am so sorry your child is doing homework. Is she in kinder? WHY do they make your kindergartner do homework?

Sigh... well, try to make it a game with her. Snuggle up with her and do it with her, after dinner. Tell her that as soon as it's done, you'll read a fun book to her.

Dawn

I'd like to second Rosebud. I graduated at the top of my similarly large class with a 4.2 GPA and my parents...never, not once...even asked me about my homework. Not from K through 12.

I am homeschooling my children through an online program, which has a fairly advanced curriculum...and yet somehow I manage to get ALL the work in and we are usually done a few hours before the other kids get out of school. There is no "homework". Sure, I will occasionally practice spelling words or math facts in the evening for five minutes to help solidify these things, but other than that? Everything we do for school, we do DURING school.

This is one of the biggest reasons why I am for homeschooling. The public (and often private) school system wastes so much time during the day on any and everything, and then send home to you what SHOULD be being done at school. Sad, really.

That being said, I think you ought to have her tackle it right away when she gets home from school. That way she's still (sort of) in school mode, and she doesn't have to transition from school, to home, and then back to schoolwork. The theory of "get it done now, and you'll have the whole night" seems best...otherwise, how can she play and have fun, with the gloomy doom of homework looming over her head?

And at five...how much homework are they sending? If it takes more than 10 minutes, it's too much, and you need to address that with the teacher or the principal.

I can't imagine a kindergartner having daily homework. I don't think any of our's had it until at least part of first grade.

So, I'd say you are doing it right. Do let her have a break after school. That is so important. The kids are in school at least 8 hours per day and then coming home to more of the same thing is just silly.

I don't have the kids do homework, if I have them do it at all, until after dinner.

From my experience, there are kids that like to do it right away and get it over with or like my second was, like to wait to do it. Try right after school and then you both don't have to dread it.

Either way you go, you have to get it through to them that it not an option to skip it. It is a choice when they do it. I can't hear you when you whine.

Don't give her play time before she does it, she won't want to get back at school stuff after she's played.
Homework RIGHT after school with her snack. THEN playtime.

ETA:
Finland also has class sizes of no more than 10.

I learned with my son that we have to start homework right away while he is in school mode. Fortunately in kindergarten and first grade there isn't a ton to do, so we still have time to play. He often eats snack while he is working. If he gets too much "down" time, it's a fight to get it done.

i'd be right there with her. what 5 year old wants or should do homework every day?
when my older son was in 1st grade we started having homework battles. i went to his (wonderful) teacher for advice and she told me to decline the battle, that if he came to school with no homework done, he'd be dealing with her consequences. since he liked her and wanted to do well for her, it worked like a charm.
but honestly, that's one of the reasons i so loved homeschooling. i think it's a bit much to expect kids to spend all day in school and then come home and do more schoolwork. a reading assignment is one thing, but littles who have reined in their energy to sit at desks all day, not playing, talking only when they raise their hands and following a long list of rules should get to run wild a little when they get home.
khairete
S.

Don't give the free time first. Home from school straight up to the table snack and homework time. Give her the snack and look through the bag while she eats. Home work at her age should be no more than a page or 2
And some reading which you do with her. Just make it very matter of fact.

Homework here is something that
1) Needs to get out of the way, so we can do fun things (ie, the TV or computer do NOT come on until homework is done - DD can do other things, because sometimes kids need to unwind a bit, but those are the big ones, and they don't happen until homework happens), or
2) Is as silly as we can make it.

Draw goofy pictures and have her label them with the spelling words, or use licorice to spell the words, or pretzels - with creative biting, you can make most letters. Read stories with silly voices, or sing them (the worse the singing is, the better for this one; works for spelling, too). Or use candy for math practice, and eat the spelling problems. For writing, our teacher would accept writing practice in just about any color, so if yours will, too, then go to an office supply store and let her pick out a pen in a fun color, just for her, just for her homework, and keep it in a special place.

Your kindergartner has homework?

My daughters don't do anything else until homework is done. They can have a snack while they start homework, but it's homework 1st.

The longer I let him wait the harder it is to get him to do it. Maybe he gets tired as the day goes on.
My son gets his break on his walk home from school, he gets snack while he does his homework, and he knows he can play video games AFTER homework.
I also made him a cute homework center so we never have to look for a pencil, erasor, crayon, scissors number line, alphabet, (i found it on pinterest) He is not crafty but enjoyed personalizing it a bit. His was blue and green colors and I could hang notices from his school about field trips or projects due or spelling list in first gr

My son who is 8 has days where he hates doing homework. When he gets home I have him eat a snack first thing. A BIG snack along with a glass of milk. This helps with his mood. He always BEGS to play video games. I tell him you can play video games for a bit once you get your homework done. That motivates him! Or if he wants a friend to come over I say, yes he can come over but only after you have your homework done. Or if he wants to watch a movie...same thing. Or if he wants to go to the park...same thing. Can you find something that motivates your daughter?

Ever since kindergarten my kids came home from school, had a snack if they wanted one, then did any homework before playing.

I know some say to give a kid a break when they get home, but it is a lot harder when kids have time to get out of school-mode then have to get back into it. Even adults have a hard time operating that way. Have her do her work first thing, right after or even while eating her snack.

They never had much homework in K though. Rarely anything that took more than a few minutes.

Our daughter did best with a snack, then homework, then play time...

In kinder they did not have real homework, instead it was more like play therapy..

She may not like writing, because her hands get tired.. Look up fine motor skill therapies.. They can be fun.

Sit with her and do your own homework with her.. Pay your bills, make a grocery list, read the paper or look though your mail. Fold clothes.....

I have the same issue here - I think kinder is too young for them to understand the concept of homework, but it is what it is. Our teacher gives us a packet for the month with games to play that work in the concepts they will be working on in class. In addition the kids take home a "literacy bag" that has 5 books they can read that are a mixture of at their level, and a level ahead. We use those books for bedtime as well as a favorite and when the dreaded "I'm bored" or "What should I do now" phrases come out so do the "homework games."

Before she made these adjustments - she takes parent feedback very WELL and understands each student/class is different - she had worksheets for the week and a project for the month. I set a timer and so long as he worked for 10min with out whining or doddling he got to choose his before bed activity (games, tv, video games, toys etc.), however if it was a difficult homework time I chose.

Hope this helps, goodluck it is not easy.