What Can I Do for My 7 Year Old

K.,

I don't know much about the other issues but I do know of a great learning website. I have a son in Kindergarten and they actually use this website in his school. It's: www.starfall.com

Paula

My son likes to play on www.funbrain.com. There are different games for each subject, and his teacher actually bases some of her homework assignments on activities from this website. I also buy workbooks from Barnes and Noble and I give my son a timeline for when he should have the workbook completed. If he finishes the book in the allotted time I will buy him a new game for his wii or some books from his favorite book series. He usually tries to complete 10 pages a day and I check them each night before he goes to bed. The trick is to make learning fun. If you make it feel like a punishment or that they are doing something wrong at school so they have to do extra work at home they will have negative feelings about school. As far as her maturity level, I would try to organize some playgroups with her peers. If you have room in your budget for organized sports that would be a great way for her to learn how to interact with other children her age and it will teach her great leadership skills. We started our children in organized sports at age 3, and it has been nothing but positive. Good luck!

If you decide to hold your daughter back it is best to do it now than to wait until she is in 4th or 5th grade. We did this with our daughter. Yes it was hard but it was best for her, we told her that she was not being punished or bad it was because she needed more time to learn. She had a different teacher in the 2nd grade and went on from there to be a good student. Some times she said she would get bored in class but she did graduate from high school and has continued on ever since. In this day and age it is best to do what is right for the child and not be embarrassed as a parent. We are our children's role models they learn from us.

I assume you told your husband what the teacher said about her being immature. That way it wouldn't sound like you were saying things against her. If she is a little behind, holding her back may be the best thing for her, and she would feel good about herself being up with the class the next year, as she may struggle all through school trying to keep up. When is her birthday, did she barley make the deadline. Then of course having two sets of parents may of set her back a bit also. I'm glad it seems you two have a good relationship, this should help her a lot.

I do not know of any educational games or tips, and don't have any children yet, but I do have a husband that was held back a year in school for being socially immature. I don't know what's best for your daughter, but it turned out to be the best thing in the world for him. Honestly. Up until a certain age he was a good/average student, but then he just wasn't maturing at the rate that his peers were, which starting affecting his grades. It wasn't that he was intellectually behind, but socially and emotionally. He was a late bloomer and just didn't fit in with the guys his age. Once they dropped him back a grade, he said everything just clicked. He fit in better socially and his grades picked back up. I'm certainly not saying that this is definitely the course to take with your step daughter, and I'm sure that's a tough thing for a parent to consider, but it's an option, and it's not the end of the world.

I hope you and your husband figure out what's best for your family. Good luck!

It almost sounds like it's all stemming from emtional issues.

Start off by talking to the guidence counselor. See what she says. Maybe she can suggest some after school programs/tutors and even a therapist to talk to about the issues with her mom.

Good Luck.

Sounds like you may need to get in touch with a child counselor. Depending on why she does not want to go to her mothers for the summer. This may be part of her acting out at school. All kids mature differently. SHe may just be a slow bloomer or it maky be a learned behavior to get attention. As far as telling dad she is imature for her age, let hte teacher do that. Tell her she needs asession with him and explain your delima.

I have decided that maturity comes with responsiblity and socialization. I suggest taking your step-daughter to as many interesting grown up places as you can in the next few months. Take her to the museum, discovery center, art exhibits, zoo, a farm, ranch, whatever you have available. Give her some chances to watch grown ups talk to eachother and interact with eachother, it will also give her a chance to be involved in that. Talk to her the whole time you're touring a new place, don't use baby talk and don't say things in "kid talk". I also notice she is the oldest child in your family, this plays a huge part in immaturity... her peers at home are all younger. Perhaps you can find another mom with a child close to her age or a little older to go on some adventures with. As for responsibility, allow her to help you with a few things that the younger kids can't. Talk to her about what a big girl she is, let her help you cook, fold laundry, and shop. A 7 yr old can read a grocery or walmart list and fill the buggy up with very little help from mom. Anything like this will help her to feel and act older. Make sure you also really praise her when she does act like a big girl.

I would DEFINITELY hold her back now, as opposed to watching her struggle to mature fast enough to keep up with the next 12 years. I'd also talk to DH about taking her to a therapist. This little girl has some issues to work through, and no matter how much you love her - she needs to talk to someone who won't get mad (no matter what she says) and who can break information to her Daddy without worrying about him getting mad.

S.

For starters, my 13 yr old went to summer school every year, k-5, no option. They have fun learning classes you choose to enhance reading, math, etc. I had her pick out 1 class for reading or math and then 1 fun class such as cooking, drama, art, etc. She grew to love summer school. It kept her busy and she was learning.

www.abcteach.com has a lot of things to do where you can download, print and help her.

As for the maturity, I don't know how to answer that one.

TF

If she is immature, the best thing might be for HER might be to be held back. It's not a horrible thing. 'm assuming from your post that the teacher didn't think there was any reason for her being behind except maturity. My niece was held back in 7th grade because she didn't "feel" like doing her homework. My sister in law did everything she knew to keep her from failing. Finally she told her it was up to her. Do the work, pass to the next grade or keep on that track and repeat. She'll graduate with honors this May. I think sometimes as parents we don't want our kids to fail, understandably, but I think it's taken too personally by the parent. What is the big picture? She'll repeat the same information and have a year to mature. I wouldn't subject her to summer school at 7. She has childish behavior because she's a CHILD! :) Children need time to play outside and be kids.

I would get her to explain why she doesn't want to see her Mom and treat that completely separate from the school issue.

L.

K. -

I would agree with the moms that said being held back may be the best thing for her. My stepdaughter is in sixth grade this year, and will probably pass because we spent the first 2/3 of the school year nagging, yelling, pleading with her to do her work. We now wish we had let her pass or fail on her own from the beginning of the year. She is also immature for her age, and I've been told that's common for ADD kids. I wish she had been held back when she was younger to catch up. She has always struggled with school, and still does. We even tried homeschooling for a year - it worked for a while, then she and I wanted to tear each other's hair out! Thankfully she got a spot at a special interest school before that happened. Anyway, I would suggest you look at ADD symptoms to see if some of those ring a bell. The first book I read about it seemed to have been written about my kid. If she is ADD, there are non-chemical ways to treat it.
The mom visit sounds like a separate issue. Why doesn't she want to go see her? It may just be that she is in a routine with you and her dad, and isn't sure what to expect at mom's.

You may think about talking to your daughters docter. They can give you advice and guidance when dealing with issues about learning and seperation.

Do you think her issues may have a bit more to do with what's going on in her life (not seeing mom, having a stepmom in her place, etc) and not so much with needing to do more school type work?

I have no advice to lend if that's the case, but it would seem to me a 7 year old is ill equipped to deal with such situations with ease. And really, why would a 7 year old not want to see her mother? There's got to be something going on with that.

I hate to see kids go through a divorce & then gain a new, often unwanted, family member. I really think it's awfully unfair to them. I hope y'all are able to get help for her; it seems you're very invested in her well being & that's commendable. Hopefully you'll be able to find what she needs.