What Are Some Consequences You Use?

Dessert

My son is seven and we let him have an ice cream before bed - and it's the first thing he loses when he misbehaves. I started doing it out of desperation - nothing else was working.

He loses in a cascading fashion;

Ice cream
ipad
Wii
TV
Bike

He has to be really really rotten to lose the bike - we haven't got that far yet. :-)

I think the logical consequences are the best. They really teach the cause and effect. If you don't pick up your toys, you lose your toys. If you don't do your homework by the allotted time, you have to wake up earlier to finish it. If you slam a door, you don't get to shut doors for a few days. If you don't take a shower when told you wake up early to take it. If you jump or wrestle on the sofa, you sit on the floor for the rest of the night. If you act up at the table, you are excused and meal time is over.

Early bedtimes for fits and snottiness (so cranky or not listening that they must be tired so early bedtime might help).

Extra chores for mischief or troublemaking or fighting (obviously can't find a better use for time, so I will help).

These are just a few of ours.

I hate taking away bedtime stories, but we read 3 a night, so DD (age 4) ends up losing them one at a time if she is choosing not to listen and cooperate with me. And I start counting to 3, so if I get to 3, that's one story gone. Usually she doesn't lose any. Sometimes she loses 1. Tonight she lost 2, and so only got to hear 1 bedtime story, but she was really being a sassy-pants. Sometimes she loses dessert. I will also remind her that of something fun we have coming up that day but won't get to do if she won't listen. Once in a while I will send her to her room (usually for persistently whining, or pestering me for something after I have said no for the millionth time), or take a favorite toy away for a few days. She's also missed out on playing Angry Birds on my phone for a week after she refused to stop playing and give me the phone back when I asked her to.

Lately she's started asking me, when I start counting, "What happens when you get to three?" I tell her, "Do you really want to find out the hard way?"

Like I said, she can be a sassy-pants. Strong-willed does not begin to describe her!

A friend of mine once had her 2 older daughters write sentences after they spent an hour arguing with each other instead of cleaning up their room like they were supposed to.

When I count from 5 to 0 - they know they are about to lose something.

They have 3 chances to pick up their toys, games, etc. if I touch them - they are mine. That 3rd call? They KNOW if I get to zero - it's too late and it's mine to throw away, donate or sell on ebay.

My boys are 9 and 11...

we have taken away DS, Game Boy, XBOX and Wii time...they get 15 minutes of free time when they get home from school - snacks and just wig out - then homework must be done. If it's not done - they lose out on their time to play. So IF they get it done fast AND right the first time? They have more time to play!

Mine are 4 and 6. They have to stand quietly on a chair with their hands over their heads or out to the sides. They hate it, but it's the one thing that calms them down and they respond to it.

They may have to give up a favorite activity or toy for a few hours if that thing was the problem. They may lose tv/game/computer time. They will sometimes lose a snack. We try and make the punishment fit the crime of what they did.

We also tell them will we eat their nose or they will have to live with the monkeys at the zoo, but they don't believe us and just end up giggling. It's a good way to end the punishment and start our talk on why they got in trouble and how to better the issue. :)

Now they are a little older, they will start washing the baseboards or the walls or something.

If they sneak food and waste it (they like to give it to the dog), then they owe me a dollar.

I second Lisa C's answer. My baseboards have never looked so good since I started assigning chores for a consequence! I make sure to only assign chores they hate already, so they don't start hating a chore they didn't mind before. My oldest doesn't mind folding and putting away laundry, so that's one of his regular chores and not a conseqence. His younger brother does not like folding laundry in the least, so it's a consequence for him if he needs to "burn off some energy." But logical consequences are the best when possible. Coloring on my table instead of paper = clean the table + no coloring for X amount of time. Fighting with brother = not allowed to play together. Good luck!

hmmm for my to cry and give up in defeat=) i'm J. kidding, if she keeps being bad shes a candy aholic so if its really bad she will havwe to go tothe candy bowl which is only there for ocassions and throw out a piece of candy herself. If shes putting off going to bed, then we dont have time for books, which upsets her. If she doesnt eat her dinner, no desert. If she wont put on her shoes and hat in time and its too late to go out then we stay in. Theyre all if I have the energy to fight or shes doing something bad enough. She rarely does anything except procrasitinate and whine

When my kids start getting too big for time-outs, I send them to bed early. Usually, for them, just the treat of having to go to bed early makes them shape up- lol
Good luck :)

We're big on natural consequences here.

If you keep antagonizing the cat, I'll warn you once. If you keep on doing it the cat will likely bite or scratch you and I won't punish or shout at the cat for it. If you harm the cat, however, it won't be tolerated and you'll be separated from the cat AND lose a privilege plus some grounding time. Just like if you were an adult and caught committing animal cruelty.

If you don't clean your room when asked, I will not do it. If you then lose your homework in that mess, I will not bail you out with your teacher.

If you lie to your teachers, if you refuse to do homework, if you refuse to study, if you don't uphold your duties as a student and do the work that you're capable of then I will not bail you out with your teachers. I will help set you up for success (give help when asked, provide materials, communicate with teachers) but if you don't do the work and produce failing grades, then you have to live with the results. Example: My eldest daughter lost the Drill Team that she worked so hard to get on because she had two D's on her report card and she wasn't supposed to get anything lower than a C. That child has never gotten below an A or a B in her life, but refused to do homework or study the whole first semester of school this year. Oh well. No bailout. She's off the team.

If you harm or bully your sisters, then you lose privileges.

If you intentionally break something or make a mess, you clean it up. If it's one of your own belongings, I won't pay for a replacement. If you want a replacement, then earn it or pay for it with your own money.

When you hurt someone physically and/or hurt their feelings even when it's not on purpose you apologize. When someone apologizes to you, you accept the apology. Even if you don't mean it. One day you WILL mean it and you'll be happy you did.

I do a punishment fitting the crime sort of thing. The only time my son loses electronics is when his behavior surrounding the electronics is bad. I send him to his room/do groundings when he's not allowed to be around other people/ has lost that privilege. Temper tantrums, rudeness, etc.

I threaten to take away my son's next playdate if he does not listen and do whatever it is he is refusing to do. I count to 3 and he jumps to it! I had to take a way a playdate once and he broke down in sobs for a long time. You know when they are that upset that this is a good one and will work. He is 7. Another thing that works is all screen time for the next 24 hours.

just for general "doing what you've been told not to do" or "not doing what you've been told to do", what about good ole' time outs? that is our method...works 99% of the time...when we are having an especially rough day i will give him fair warning that mom doesn't have any more timeouts left (he is 5) and next will be a swat, if he keeps at it. that pretty much does it.

if you are talking about acting out at school or other times that an immediate time out (by you) isn't feasible - i let his teachers deal with discipline (they also time out) and then when i get to him, we have a talk about what is appropriate and what is not. i don't feel he should be punished twice (and hours later, on top of that) for something. and i trust his teachers to deal with it, and they have. i have zero complaints. but i also don't let it slide by. he can count on a lecture from me when i pick him up.

there have been some times, as he has gotten older, that i have felt the best discipline is dealing with the natural consequences of his actions. my FIVE YEAR OLD (WAAAAY old enough to know better) took a crayon to the leather interior of my car a couple weeks ago. his "punishment" was first seeing mom go ballistic when i saw it (sorry, couldn't help it). then he had to help me clean it up. and he did.

i'm not a big fan of chores as discipline - i feel that everyone in the house should help out because they live there, not as punishment. that's my theory anyway, i don't make him help out as much as i should lol. but our methods have worked pretty well, i do get compliments regularly at how polite and sweet and well mannered he is. i think the key is using common sense and what works for your kid. i've always been pretty hard on him (i think), maybe even harder than necessary...but i'd rather be slightly over the line to too harsh, than too lenient and deal with THOSE consequences...!