D.K.
See I come from the different end of the spectrum. I did what I had to do just to get by,learned but didn't strive. I was expected to bring home C's and above always but at the same time didn't do my best either. I regret it now big time. I got B's in some things in high school but knew I could have done better. I think there is such a thing as unrealistic expectations too, I think each child has a area they thrive and one they struggle in school with. Our job as parents is to help with the struggles and support them.
I have a second grader now, she and I discuss expectations.
I want to know she is paying attention, trying her best and if she needs help not hesitate to ask. She gets mainly 3's which is a scale from 1 being the worst to 4 being above standard and I am happy with that. When I see ones on her papers I ask if she understood it, if not then we review it, I have her redo and resubmit her work to bring up that grade. I have also been working closely with the teacher that if she is struggling like she was recently in geometry that she stays after one or two times and has one on one with the teacher.
I know her, she is too social in class, very much a mind drifter if she loses interest and that to me isn't trying your hardest.
Sometimes though she really is struggling and we work through it together.
I don't expect A's, I just want her to try her best and realize when the teacher is talking for her to listen and not be afraid to ask for help. She is very hesitant in asking and just does a lot of guessing too. That has caused a lot of issues this school year.
All I ask is that both of my kids try their best. I have a son headed to Kindergarten and will follow the same protocol with him. Failing isn't an option as there is always a way to learn, whether here with me, with personalized attention or a tutor and that if they are failing something that they just didn't speak up that is when I am more inclined to get a little upset.
Sometimes it gets hard for them and I get that. Homework is not fun but necessary.
Success to me is measured on whether they are truly doing their best and giving it their all, not on a letter grade so much.