What Age to Send Child into Public Bathroom All by Himself?

I think 5 is too early. I didn't let my son go by himself until about 8 years old and even then I stood outside the door. You just cant be too careful and you never know who is inside the bathroom.

I would never send my child alone. I have a 5yo and if Dad isn't with us, he goes with me. The only other occasion he would go without us is if we had a trusted friend/relative with us that is of a responsible age. Even his elementary school uses the buddy system when using the restroom. It sucks we have to worry about such atrocities, but the world is what it is. Better safe than sorry.

At 5, I would let him go to some public bathrooms alone if there are no family bathrooms if I was familiar with the place and stayed outside the mens restroom. He has a long way to go before I would let him alone at a restroom off a highway...my son went with me until he was 10. Even then we stayed outside the mens room and discussed being in a unfamiliar area, how to stay safe at length before we stopped. He needs to know that he should call out to you loudly in an unsafe situation and you will enter the mens room even though you are not a man.

Well, I have no boys, just 3 little girls. But my best friend does! She has a 7 1/2 year old, and what she does impresses me greatly. She will let him go into the men's room now, but only after she checks it! LOL.
She will open the door and ask loudly is anyone in here? If she gets no response she will take a peek to make sure. And if there is truly no one in there she will send her son in to use the bathroom. And stands guard at the entrance to the men's restroom, and if some man approaches needing to use the restroom. She will tell him, my son is in there, would you mind waiting until he comes out? So by doing so, she ensures her son's safety and also his embarassment of going into the "girl's" restroom. Hope that this is helpful.

A little about me, a Navy wife of 4 years, mommy to 3 beautiful little girls, an 8 year old step-daughter, 3 1/2 year old and a 11 week old.

I try to find family restrooms or handicapped. And I don't feel bad about it. My son is 6 and has told me of men staring at him while using the urinal when he was in a men's bathroom with a friend. I asked what he did and he said they finished up and left quickly. There was a potential pedophile at our community pool two years ago, known for showering naked with the curtain open. It took the entire pool season for the board to have him removed from the pool, with police action. Thankfully, he moved, after being admitted the following year and he could not be removed that year, although he did behave. It was known that the young boys should use the girls room. I don't mind the looks from women when he goes in the women's room. And I explain safety to him. My sister in law insists her son go in a bathroom only if with another child and if nobody else is in there. It was challenging babysitting my nephew, who is 8, but I completely understand. It's a different world we live in. She worries about older boys alone. Protect your children, ladies. And remember, in Europe bathrooms are often unisex. Nothing wrong with it really.

I let my 6 year old go to the bathroom by himself at certain places when it is not busy. BUT, I stand at the door w/ it propt open w/ my foot. And yes, sometimes there are men in there. No, I cannot physically see him but I hear everything and I ask him if he is almost done after about 30 seconds. Am I concerned while he is in there without me, absolutely. But at the same time, I trust him and want him to know that. So, we try to give them their independence but at the same time allow them some space. Also let your child know that if anyone tpuches them or grabs them to yell for you b/c you are right there. Try not to scare them about it but this is our world. But one thing to remember, when your instincts tell you the situation is not good, listen to yourself. I really believe God gives us moms extra senses to care for our babies! If you are not ready for your little one to go by himself, listen to yourself! Best to you, A.

I am curious about this as well...my son will be five in April and has asked me the same question.

I would probably let my son use the bathroom by himself if i know he can do it on his own but of course i also would stay infront of the door waiting for him. I already had the talk with him about not going with strangers and what to do if somebody tries to take him. So as long as you stay close i would think it is ok.

My oldest is 6 and I do allow him to use the restroom alone however when the 4 yr old asks, I make him take his brother. I am never far but yet it gives them a sense of independence and that I trust them. I may not trust everyone else but they know not to go with stranger and to scream if someone knows trys anything. So my suggestion for you, seeing a lot of ppl disagree with me, is to decide what is best for your child and if he is ready.

I would say that 7 is a good age to allow him to use it by himself and even then I would tell him to make sure that no one is in there with him, if that is possible. But a 5 year old no way. My son is 5 and I absolutely will not allow him in the bathroom by himself. My son has a good understanding of crazy people, perverts and more. I started teaching him that about the age of 3 so he knows.

Explain those things to your son and also what they will try. Make him aware of his surroundings at a young age because if you do not someone else will.

Do not feel bad for protected you child from people who have bad intentions.

tell him the truth

tell him it is not because of him but because of other people.

look for family rest rooms. more and more places are doing that now. or the handicap rooms.

you never know if there is a back door in these places that he could be taken threw. also 5 is too young these days. if you want the real facts talk to your local police station on these issues.

I have a 6 year old and he started using the men's public bathroom, in Target mostly, at age 5 (kindergarten). I do the same thing as Amy B. I stand right at the door, sometimes proping open the door and call into him every few seconds. That way, I feel, any potential threats know that "mama bear" is just outside the door. I let him start using the men's room when he really started to complain about using the womens room. I explained to him that he should use the toilet as quickly as possible, wash up and get out. I also told him about perverted men and that he shouldn't talk, just do his business and get out. So far, so good. I would check out the type of bathrooms before letting him go in. Mall bathrooms, probably not yet. grocery store, target, yes as I can almost see everything from the door. Good luck with this challenging issue ( and I feel that it is!! )

At 5 yrs old, we were still taking my stepdaughter into restrooms with us. If a relative was available to take her to the ladies' room, then that's who took her, but if not, DH took her with him. When she was about 7-8, he would stand outside the ladies' room but let her go in by herself. If we were at a restaurant or somewhere small where we could see the restroom, we'd let her go by herself.

You can also scope out the mall or store and see if there's a one-stall restroom or if there's a "family" restroom. Many places are adding them.

I'd rather err on the side of caution with little kids.

Our oldest is now 13 and goes alone but we always try to send his brother with him. The buddy system as we call it. Although I hate to think so negativly, we have to protect our kids. Imagine if a grown man were to hold your child against his will, could he get away or know what to do? If yes, then may be he is ready. If no, then don't do it. In a public restroom in GA, I was using the bathroom when a young man came into the stall next to me and climbed on the toilet and looked over at me. YUK!

These are our babies why take a chance? We can't undo what has been done but we can try to prevent it in the first place.

Take Care,
N. :) SAHM homeschooling 3 boys and married to my Mr. Wonderful for 15yrs. I love to help other moms reach their goals! Don't forget to teach your kids to dream.

My son is 5 and few months. I have been letting him go in by himself (in restaurants, I will stay in my seat as long as I can see the bathroom). In stores, I just tell him to go in and right back out as quick as he can, and not to talk to anyone (because there for a while he was talking to anyone and everyone about anything (whatever toy he was into at the time...whatever)! I stand right by the door so I can hear anything if it were to happen and I pay attention to who comes in and out when he's in there! He has been going in alone since before he was 5. I live in Christiansburg, VA, a town next to Virginia Tech...so we aren't HUGE, but we have a good amount of people. I would probably be more careful in a bigger area (DC or whatever)!

I would just tell him he has to come with you for his safety. I would not let him go into a public bathroom by himself until he is older. For now if you know that you are somewhere safe and you are outside the door then I might.

We allow our oldest son (now 11) to start going to the restrooms by himself at 7. It seemed to be the right age for him. I'm just like you, I just don't think it's safe at that age to go by themselves in a multistall location.

Best of luck mama

www.jenniferzaranis.com

My sons are 5 and 8. I let the 8 year old go into the mens bathroom, but still take my 5 year old into the womens bathroom with me. I will only let my 5 year old go by himself if I'm familiar with the store/building, if there is a single bathroom, or if the bathroom is deserted and his brother goes with him. In either case, I stand by the bathroom door and wait - that way I can see who goes in or comes out, and I'm within shouting distance. We've been letting our older son go by himself for about a year now.

I think once they start asking, then they should be given a little freedom. Once my son was old enough to know the difference between boys and girls, I wouldn't make him go into the ladies' room...I would stand outside the door and wait for him, though - and make sure it wasn't a seedy place...also - you can explain to a 5 year old what is appropriate and inappropriate touching, and not to talk to strangers in the restroom, etc. Now that my son is older, he can walk to the restroom himself...I used to make him walk his sister to the bathroom also - but I would make sure I could see the route to the bathroom and the front doors, etc. I think that was a few years later though...more like 8 and 5...and now they can both go themselves (11 and 7).

My oldest is 5 also and I definitely wouldn't allow him to use a public restroom by himself. You just can't trust people, now-days. Having said that, I think the "best age" has a lot to do with the maturity level of the child and you and your child's comfort level. If it becomes a big issue for your son, maybe you could stand outside the men's bathroom door and give him a certain amount of time to use it and come out before you go in after him. LOL.

You have to be selective. I have the same issue with my boys (8y & 4y). They still go into the ladies room with me in large places (malls, some restaurants, etc.) if a "family" bathroom is not available. They can go alone/together in small establishments where it is a single stall and I can look in it first. I have explained to them that unfortunately there are people out there who would like nothing better to harm a child if given the opportunity. So go with your gut feeling based on where you are. Make sure he knows that it is not because of him or that you don't think he is "old enough" but it is a safety decision and you will let him go independently as long as you feel it is safe.Good luck.

M M,
My son just turned 5 in December and we have allowed him to go to the rest room alone for at least the last 6 months, we stand outside the men's door while he goes in and does his business. I have 2 younger than him and it is not always convient to take the shoppong cart into the restroom and trying to take the younger 2 in and keep them from touching everything is a pain in the neck. Hope this helps.

I let my kids go by themselves depending on where we are. If I know they can't get out or anyone else cant get in, I will let them go - and I follow right behind them and stand outside the door. My 5 yera old daughter likes to go on her own and my 3 year old (almost 4) year old son likes to go to the boys bathroom...so I make sure it is empty and then let him go, and keep popping my head in to check on him :).

i think it depends on the place. a really big busy place like a mall, probably not (although these places usually have family bathrooms.) a restaurant with only a couple of stalls and not a huge volume of traffic? yeah, at 5 i'd let him do that, but i'd stand outside. if he's starting to push for independence i'd go with it, but only in the right circumstances.
khairete
S.

I guess the real answer is: It depends.
It depends on the bathroom...
I used to check to make sure there was no one else in there and then let him go when he was in Kindergarten. I stood outside the door and waited. He was okay with that. As he got older, I would sit at a table close to the bathroom to wait. I still check my watch when they leave the table. If they aren't back in 2.5 min, I usually go check on them.
Call me paranoid.
YMMV
LBC

There is no mother I have seen that ever has minded another mom bringing her child into the womens' room. The stalls are closed, there is nothing to see. My oldest son was brought in with me,when all the moms deserted the restroom, util he blatantly refused,due to pride. My youngest went until age seven. They are not allowed to go alone. I have in situations, checked to see if the room was empty and stood right outside the door. I often make my presence known, verbally. There are family restrooms, everywhere, but you still need to check. We were in the mall in Norfolk, and out came three, ahem, adults, two male and one female, smelling like liquor in the middle of the day. This was the restroom designated specifically for children.
It is a pretty vulnerable situation to send a child behind doors with men who are strangers. People are really very kind about this.

I don't think it is safe to send a child into a public restroom alone. Not long ago a 7 year old was in the restroom of a Ruby Tuesday in Westminster, MD and was inappropriately approached by someone in the bathroom. We do not know who may be waiting in a bathroom.

KC