What Age and Book Did U Use as a Resource for the Sex Conversation?

I had an ongoing conversation with my daughter from the time she was 4 and walked into the bathroom while I was changing a tampon through her teens until she moved out.

We started talking when my daughter was a toddler. I've just always maintained open communication with no topic off base and kept the conversations at an age appropriate level. I think a 10 yr old should have already known these facts a long time ago.

Our daughter is 16. I never used any books or props to talk.... I just talked and answered the explicit questions I was asked honestly. Our school nurse had the talk in 4th grade and when your daughter takes the required health class (required here in high school) you go over it all again.

I know some may think I am odd being so open with daughter but my mom was such a prude... towards me, indicating that sex was dirty, the human body was to be hidden, etc... Of course, behind closed doors, she was different.

I guess that is what made me like I am today. I embrace my body, love it and enjoy my sexuality. I would never teach my daughter that sex is dirty and not fun but she has known about possible pregnancy, STD, etc.

If you don't feel comfortable talking to her, then do it as you are driving, walking or something like that.

She needs to know this is natural and nothing to be ashamed of but also know the cons of having sex too early, especially unprotected.

My daughter has very high goals set for herself and I remind her when she is heading out with her bf... a baby is such a beautiful blessing but it would throw a wrench in your plans right now. She is fully aware of that also because her best friends sister (18) has a 2 yr old and she is very limited on what she does now.

Last..... don't underestimate your daughter. She probably already knows way more than you think she does.

It is clear to my daughter that my door is wide open for her to come to me about anything and not be embarrassed and no question is a stupid question. These lines of communication should be well laid out well before and tweens and teens ages.

I just had a conversation, that I left as open ended as possible so I can add more and she can ask questions. We talked about body parts, what they do, the changes that happen, the period that will come, the hair that will grow, the changes in boys, how feelings change, how sex happens, where babies come from, how easy it is to get pregnant, the diseases that can effect her life forever, a baby that could effect her life forever and even if those things didn't happen how just the act can change who you are and how you see things in the future. I also let my child know they can come to me for anything at anytime, we also included drinking/drugs/accidental drugs/unsafe games(hanging game). It is alot to hit on in a week. It is better coming from you first instead of a surprise attack at school. Also let her know to ask you and not her friends because she may get not quite right info and it could in the future hurt her. I remember a rumor going around that if you douche with cola after sex you couldn't get pregnant. If you need pictures, bring up some you feel comfortable with on the internet.

good luck.

Honestly, you should already have had this discussion with her. I am not saying that it is too late (obviously), but she has already been talking to her friends about it. It is best that you, her mother tell her about the changes in her body and what to expect.

I was 10 and in the 5th grade when I first started my period. I was not the first of my friends either. I still remember Angie K. started at the end of 4th grade. She was the person who told me about it. My mom did not tell me about it, and I did not even realize that it was something that was going to continue to happen every month.

I have 9 year old twin daughters and we have always had an open conversation about it. They just started wearing deodorant about 2-3 months ago so I know that their bodies are changing. You don't need to go to the sex side of the conversation yet if you are uncomfortable. You can just tell her that our bodies change in preparation for reproducing. The time is not far away for the full on "talk" though. Since your hubby was in P.E. he probably has some ideas of which materials to use.

American Girl makes a fabulous book called What's Happening to My Body. I believe it used to be titled The Care and Keeping of You. Either book is really great. It's written in language appropriate for your daughter's age and discusses the whole realm of puberty, not just sex. I worked in a bookstore for a LONG time and this is by far the best book I've seen that's for this age group. It covers everything from how often she should shower, use deodorant, acne, diet, exercise, getting your period etc... Very thorough but not clinical. There's a section in it that has a list of websites that you and your daughter can go to for more information about sex. The different websites listed are for different age groups so you just choose the one for her age. Good luck!

Usually, in the 5th grade, the sex "ed" is about the changes that take place in girls' and boys' bodies. It's pretty age appropriate and not about intercourse or anything.
I never used books. I had kids 10 years apart, a girl then a boy. My daughter knew all about penises and scrotums, etc because she had a baby brother. My son learned about girls by osmosis....bras, mini pads, mood swings, etc.
I feel very fortunate because they just learned about things by virtue of having a sibling of the opposite sex and there was no mystery or weirdness about it. It was all just natural.
Also, kids that grow up in the country or on farms learn about the birds and the bees as part of the cycle of life. Obviously, when it comes to humans, it's much more complex because of emotions and etiquette and things. Again, with my kids, those things just kind of came up naturally and I was never embarrassed about answering any questions my kids had about things.
I vividly remember our first sex ed classes. The girls watched a film in the auditorium called, "It's Wonderful Being a Girl". It was about getting your period. I already knew all about that. My mom had periods every month like clock work. I didn't see anything wonderful about it. And I didn't even start my period until I was 15.

Anyway, it's good to keep the lines of communication open with your daughter. I really wouldn't worry about the lesson at school. Ask them what they'll be introducing so you can be prepared if your daughter has any questions and if there's anything you think you need to supplement with as far as info.

Best wishes.

She probably already knows more than you think.
I taught my kids all that stuff when they were very little so there were no surprises later.
Just talk to her, show her a tampon box, explain the circle of life, I don't think you need a book really. But if you do, I bet the librarian can take you right to the shelf you need :)

Find out what the school is using in class. They should allow you to review the material. When I was in 5th grade, it was more about puberty than sex.

My SD had the American Girl book which talks about changes and touches on sex but isn't exclusively about it. It's a good starting point for all the questions she may have.

"The talk" isn't just one conversation. Maybe get her the book, read it yourself, and go over parts of it here and there with her. Tell her that she'll have sex ed in school and what does she want to ask you before class?

We had it in the 5th grade...wasn't too big of a deal as I recall. Diapers to Dating addresses age appropriate issues; check it out.

I have a personal favorite book "I want to talk with my teen about love, sex and dating." You can get it online.

I can't remember having A talk, but rather an ongoing conversation with both my girls from the time they were very young. As they got older the questions got harder and the conversations a little more uncomfortable, but we kept talking. You shouldn't focus on just a talk with your daughter, but rather keeping communication going about these things as she matures into an adult.

I also think you should leave your husband out of it. My girls were very open with me but would have been mortified if their dad had been chatting with them about periods, sex and things like that. I think this should be a mom/daughter thing.

http://www.amazon.com/Love-Dating-Want-Talk-about/dp/0784...