Hi L.
It sounds like there are two issues here, your current weight and your husband, who, as someone else said, sounds verbally abusive.
I'd make two appointments. First, visit your MD. Talk with him or her about your weight. Your doctor can help you decide on a plan for living healthy. (It's not about a number on the scale; it's about living a healthy lifestyle, with appropriate diet and exercise. If you do that the weight will come off.)
Second, visit a counselor or therapist...with your husband would be ideal, but without is ok too! The counselor or therapist can help you reflect on issues with your husband.
I recently lost 40 lbs (over 9 months) through a combination of portion control, changes in diet, and exercise, and now that I've reached a healthy weight, I'm working to maintain it. I'm not stick thin, but I am much healthier than I was 40 lbs ago.
These major lifestyle changes are hard enough to do when everyone around you is supportive. I can't imagine trying to do it with a husband who is not encouraging.
A couple of suggestions:
1. Schedule your exercise time, just like you schedule getting your children off to school, etc. If you don't, there will always be something more important to do.
2. It may sound silly, but when the weight starts to come off, treat yourself by buying something new to wear! It doesn't have to be expensive, but a pair of pants or a new top in your new (smaller) size can be a very powerful reinforcer!
Congratulations on your weight loss and good luck as you move forward!
K.