Weaning off Breast

Hi,
I've heard of lots of breastfeeding issues w/other mom friends. Most of them actually breast-fed for even longer (until age 2-3). I understand that desire to wean....but even at the older ages, the friends' kids still took a while to wean. They also regressed a little when their siblings were born. But I think it seemed important to let them know that it is still there for them when they need some love...or else, maybe it could evolve into some sort of control thing?

How about designating a breast-feeding time (like when you walk in the door)...and keep shortening it every week or so? eventually, maybe it'll be like a little snack. and one day maybe she will forget?

my son only had a month of booby-time, b/c I didn't produce enough & had an almost-2yr old. Now I noticed he's got some major breast infatuations...I'm hoping it's not due to the fact he doesn't remember it at all :)

C.,
I am 43yrs old with an almost 3yr old and an 8mo old. I would say especially since you work during the day to go ahead and spend 20 min with her allowing her to nurse when you come in. She will outgrow it. She just misses you and wants to be close to you and thats a good thing. My 3 yr old still wants to nurse once in a while! She will be grown up before you know it...I would say try to enjoy those "tender" moments with her until shes ready to stop. Prayers,
K.

I totally agree with Kathleen. She will be grown up before you know it and she just needs it to feel secure right now. And, she is only one. Even the Academy of Pediatrics say you should breast feed for as long as you can. My daughter last nursed on her 3rd Birthday. She would still be doing it for comfort and sleep if I let her! Hang in there! T.

It sounds to me that she still needs to nurse for comfort and connecting to you since you are gone during the day. There is no upper limit to how long you can nurse, though most children will loose the ability to latch properly by age 7. Even when allowed to self-wean, most children don't go much beyond age 4. Also, the American Academy of Family Physicians found that children weaned before 24 months were at increased risk of illness as compared to their peers. So, while you might want to start setting limits, discontinuing now, might put her at greater risk of getting sick. To start setting limits, you can offer other drinks while cuddling, nurse for a set amount of time, say 10 minutes then redirect her to another activity, or tell her that milk/breast/whatever you call nursing is closed or asleep and that she will have to wait. While she may not be able to respond like an adult and you will have to keep it simple, explain to her that now is not the time, but you will nurse later. The catch is you have to follow through. I love Dora the Explorer for the three part stories. I can tell my daughter first we eat dinner, next we take a bath, then we nurse and she understands it. I don't know how much or what tv shows the sitter lets her watch, so I don't know if that will be as much help as it was in my house where Dora is a big hit even with my step-son. Don't rush her to wean so quickly. They're only little once and nursing is a great way to calm a toddler when all else fails that it's a great parenting tool to keep around.

I haven't a clue. My son is three and he still comes in to nurse at night. I think its just a comfort thing for him. He doesn't even nurse long, then just crawls up and snuggles my hair. I like the idea of shortening the time. Maybe come up with something else special the two of you can do. Sitting down right away for a snack might help. I wish you luck, if you figure something out let me know!!

I think your thinking is right on target - she is not benefitting anymore from breastmilk...I'm sure you do bottles during the day - is it possible for you to feed her with a bottle and simply hold her when you are sure she's not hungry? If your husband gets home maybe he can give her the bottle? Or maybe introduce a pacifier? Good luck!

If you want to get her off the breast that is fine. That is definitely your choice to make. But I have to address the previous post. Your daughter ABSOLUTELY still benefits from your breastmilk. It does not change just because she is one. I had to get that out. But maybe you can try distracting her. Maybe have a toy or a game waiting so you can play that right when you walk in the door. She is wanting to nurse probably because she misses you while you are gone and nursing is a great way to reconnect to you when you come home. So maybe trying something else so that she is close to you. Will she take a bottle from you? Maybe sit down with her in a chair and give her a bottle. Anything that makes her close to you. Those are really the only ideas I have. I am still nursing my 19 1/2 month old so we haven't come across this yet.

Sounds like she misses you! That's why all she wants to do is nurse when you get home from work.

Are there any other major changes going on in her life? New routine? New sitter? Different or unpredictable schedule? That could be it, too....just needing the comfort of Mom to make her feel okay. Another possibility could be needing comfort due to teething.

Does she have any other separation anxiety issues?

I'm 37 and a stay-at-home mom with a 2 year old, whom I nursed for 20 months. He thankfully weaned himself, but I had to help it along. Around 18 months (when we discovered he was no longer severely allergic to cow's milk), I started the transition because he was still nursing 5 times a day. I made sure he was filled up on regular food and then I spent a lot more time snuggling and cuddling with him. He wouldn't let me shortened the duration of a nursing session, so I started cutting back on the number of times per day I would allow him to nurse. I've heard the hardest ones to give up are first morning, naptime, and bedtime, so I cut out the mid-morning, and the early evening sessions first. Then on his own he gave up first morning, then naptime, then bedtime, in that order. When I cut out a nursing session and he would ask for it (or rather, sign for it since he just started talking), I would tell him, "It's not time to nurse but we can snuggle as much as you want!" He really liked that idea. It meant I had to stop what I was doing sometimes to just hold him (while did things with one hand!) or cuddle, but I always told him at the beginning of the cuddle session how long we could cuddle, so that when I had to get up to do other things it wasn't a shock to him. That seemed to work pretty well.

Maybe if when you first walk in the door, you allow her to nurse and cuddle her for a while, that would help her.

Feel free to email if you have any questions!