Encouraging a Breastfeeding Toddler to Wean

I breast fed my son and daughter and it was such a wonderful experience. I'm a science teacher so I read lots of research - the good news today is that breast-fed babies have a higher IQ. I always fed and rocked and read to them so it was stimulating in several ways. Consequently, they were early readers - son read at 3 and went on to schools for gifted children. Now, I switched from the breast to bottles of breast milk that I had pumped out. I continued the rocking and reading and I had no trouble with either of them. Good luck........

my child was also 11mo. when i weaned her off breast feeding. she cried at night for the most part. it was so hard for me i loves to breastfeed but i knew it was time. the only advice i can offer is to let him cry and try giving him someting else to comfort him rather it be a toy or just u being close to him as he falls asleep. it will be tough but u can get through it. i bet if u let him cry it will only take about a week. so good luck and i hope i helped u with alittle advice.

Hi Brandi! I think you should get your husband involved. My 13 month old would literally pull at my clothes when I held her but when my husband started getting up with her at night, she took the bottle just fine. During the day I would put the juice or milk in a "character" cup with a straw or I would assist her with drinking out of a regular cup. This worked for me...I hope it helps!

cut out one of the feedings for about a week, then try to cut out another and then so on. i just recently stopped breastfeeding my soon to be 2 year old. i had to quit cold turkey but that was b/c i am expecting my 3rd in april. also try substituting whole milk, that seemed to help me too. hope this helps. let me know how it turns out.

Since he's nursing to put himself to sleep, and you don't want to go cold turkey (yuck!), I would change nursing times. Start with nursing him just before breakfast, as the liquid part of his meal. Then do the same with lunch. That way, he still is getting his comfort, but by changing it to mealtime, it starts making a relationship between breastmilk and feeding instead of comfort.

You can continue to nurse BEFORE bed. If he awakens during the night, you can give him water and rock him for a few minutes, but do not nurse or you'll reinforce nursing as a crutch for falling asleep.

Once that transition is made, then drop the lunch nursing period, a few days to a week later, drop the breakfast. Leave the bedtime one for last. You can either take his lead or drop it on your own when you're ready. Hope this helps, good luck!

cold turkey would just be cruel to him and you, your friend is nuts! try eliminating one every couple of weeks until they are all gone. the night feedings will be the hardest ones, but once you've got them taken care of the daytime feedings usually go on their own so i would start with the nighttime waking feeding. it will be really tough, but once he's learned to soothe himself back to sleep in other ways then the other two feedings should go with ease. comfort him in any other way you can singing, rocking or just plain old cuddling. expect to feel the toddler wrath for the fist week, but it'll subside as he eases into the new routine.

good luck!

It has been my experience that taking each feeding time away one at a time. I have 2 daughters and my first one also stop abruptly at 11 months. As for the second she would probaly still be nursing if I hadn't stopped. I would start with the nap time feedings. Start a new pattern to get him ready for that. The last one and the hardest on was the middle of the night. It took the longest and was the most frustrating one. But I was way more determined for her to stop at that point because i had taking my time with the others. She was probaly almost 3 and had transitione into her own "big Girl " bed at that point so I used that for all it was worth and seemed to work.1 Cup of water and juice and a story and she was in the "big" bed.... I hope it works out for you. It was my favorite thing about being a mother and I miss it to this day..They are 8 and 6 now.
Good luck from Nashville Tn.
R. T.

It sounds like you're getting some good advice so far but I would say definitely go slow and start with the LEAST important nursing time. Give it a few days or a week to set in and then go for the next LEAST important nursing. Save the night-time for last as this will be the hardest and the most traumatizing if done first. Especially when the child isn't showing signs of being ready to stop nursing. Also you mentioned that you aren't sure if you're ready to quit. I know it gets challenging to nurse an older child without the support of family or friends but if you're up to it child-led weaning is VERY positive for your little one. You could at least wait a while if you're not quite sure or even go very slow in your weaning process. The right time to wean is different for every family so the important thing is that it's what you want and not what you're being pressured into (if that's the case). Good luck!!

Hi Brandi:
My son nursed for two years and as reluctant as I was to wean him, I knew that it was past time to do so. I started off slow, by preoccupying him with sippy cups during the day and nursed him before going to bed and everyday I tried to reduce his intake of breast milk a little more. He was weaned in a week's time. I experienced very little discomfort by weaning him slowly and it was a good experience for both of us......G. P.

Brandi hun, 2 1/2 yr old is way too old to still be nursing. I agree with your friend on this one. Cold turkey! He is old enough to eat table foods. If you still want to give him breast milk you should pump. At 2 1/2 years old my daughter was over 20 lbs. and there is no way I would have still been breastfeeding. She stopped on her own at 5 months.

I would start with night weaning....though your husband has to be on board as well. You can tell your toddler that he can nurse in the morning when the sun comes up, but that at night your breast go to sleep too....make sure you follow up though when the sun rises and let him nurse.

You may also want to call your local La Leche League group....the leaders are usually very experienced and at the meetings the other moms are a great source of info and support. (Your children are generally welcome at meetings so no worries about needing a sitter.) The Baton Rouge group's site is http://www.lllalmsla.org/batonrouge.html

While I'm not there yet, I can totally see myself in you in a year!! :)

I just weaned my almost two year old (my fourth child). It wasn't a bit hard, except emotionally for me. He was using me as a pacifier and I was just weary of that. It sounds like I am being a bit harsh, I know, but I was exhausted. I have either been pregnant or nursing for the past seven years and I was just beat...Anyway, my husband, bless his heart, started lying down with him and singing nursery rhymes and my little boy didn't miss it really at all. After about a week, I was able to lie down with him and get him to sleep the same way without him asking for nursey nurse. When he asks (now after a month) to nursey nurse, I tell him I don't have any more milk and it went bye bye. He understands and still wants to cuddle with me and feel of my chest and that is okay with me. I miss it, but I am glad that he has bonded more with his daddy and I am actuallly getting to read to the girls more now, so that is great! So to answer your question...we went cold turkey at night first and then did naptime a few weeks later (since I am home with him all day that one was especially hard). Wean your child when it is right for both of you. Everyone else in the world doesn't matter as much as the children you know better than anyone. Hope this helps. I don't know if I am even coherent today-not enough sleep last night. LOL

I don't know about a 2 1/2 year old, but I just weaned my 1 year old. I just started substituting whole milk for her usual breastfeeding times and stuck to my guns. We gradually moved before both naps and she gave breastfeeding up in the daytime without much fuss. Now she did cry, but I just did not give in. Next I tackled the before bedtime nurse after about 4 weeks of that, I finally had her give up the middle of the night nurse. I just made sure she ate well before bedtime. It's been about a week now and she's making progress. It's gonna be hard on you and your baby, but it's for the best. They say it's harder for a toddler past the age of 1 to give it up, but you still can do it. I got "breastfeeding for dummies" and that talked about ways to wean gradually. Hope this helps and good luck!!

I had the same situation with my son, who did successfully wean at two and a half. He LOVED to nurse and did so for comfort. I was ready to wean him, though, which is an important distinction. Like your son, he nursed before naptime, before bedtime and during the night at least once. We used several different things to encourage weaning:
1) We had a big boy party and talked about the fact that big boys do not nurse. We had some older boys in the neighborhood that he really loved, and we used them as examples of big boys to emulate.
2) During the night we sent my husband in to him when he woke up. He rubbed his back, talked to him, sang to him, told him how much we loved him, etc. There was some crying, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be.
3) We changed our sleepy time routine so that we nursed first with the lights on, read books, prayed, shut off the lights, put him in bed and rubbed his back to help him relax. He became so excited about reading that he often didn't nurse long and rubbing his back and singing to him did help him relax. Again, this was not without some tears, but we always comforted him in other ways, and the tears did not last long.
For a couple weeks after he no longer nursed, he sometimes asked to, but he was easily distracted with snacks, books, toys, hugs, etc.

Hope this helps. The most important thing is to do what feels right to you. It's ok to keep nursing if you want to. Like I said, I was ready, and that did make a difference.

Hi Brandi,
This is what worked for me:
I told my toddler that the na nas wanted sleep, that she could not nurse until the sun came up.... and I asked her what would be a nice cuddle instead. We decided together that if she could have a glass of water and a back rub in the night that she would be able to wait for day time to nurse.
It took a feww restless nights, but went pretty smoothly.
I can't imagine mothering a toddler without breastfeeding - it just fixes so many of those little upsets inherent in a toddler's day.
L. G

I wish that I could help, but I am in the same situation. I have a 22 month old and I am moving in that direction. Good luck and I'll be reading the responses to your question.

ps- I am also from Colorado

Brandi,

If your son knows about boo-boos and bandaids, you could try putting bandaids over your nipples and telling him you have boo-boos so he can't nurse. This worked great for me to wean my otherwise stubborn toddler (although for about a year afterward she kept calling my breasts "boo-boos").

Good luck!

I'm in almost exactly the same boat as you--my son is younger, but when I tried to wean him recently, or at least cut down the nursing, he just got clingier and worse, and it wasn't worth it to me to wean him. My oldest weaned abruptly, too, so I don't have personal experience.

It's obvious that he's getting comfort, rather than nourishment, so if you can find a way to exchange the act of nursing for something else, that might help. My older son steadfastly refused to be rocked to sleep unless I nursed him; and then when he weaned (in one day!) he just went into his crib rather than me rocking him to sleep, because I was trying to make the transition a little easier. His way was actually the easiest, but it kinda made me sad that he'd rather just lie down and fall asleep instead of having me rock him. :-( Anyway, if he gets attached to a blankie or some other "lovey" that may help ease the transition, because he'll associate the blankie with comfort, rather than just breastfeeding.

Since you're not ready to wean, don't worry about it. Maybe you can check out some "extended breastfeeding" yahoo groups or something. While you may get advice on weaning an older toddler, you'll also get a lot of moral support to continue nursing should you choose.

You may see if cutting out middle-of-the-night nursing helps. Let him cry a few minutes, and see if he will fall back to sleep like that. If you're worried about him being thirsty, put a spill-proof cup of water in bed with him. If you think he wakes up hungry, give him a bed-time snack so hopefully his tummy will be full enough all night.