Weaning from Nursing to Bottle

Just wanted to let you know that my babies seldom slept through the night until they were 10 plus months. They nursed and bottle fed during the day...but solely nursed at night out of convenience for myself. Do you NEED to quit nursing or just desire to stop? Perhaps your little one just needs extra mommy time and that is why she wants to nurse as soon as you get home. What's wrong with letting her nurse as long as possible? The benefits of nursing GREATLY outweigh any perceived risks. My babes nursed until 2 yrs....though not all the time. They really used me more as their security blanket and bedtime snack at night. However, they are some of the most secure/confident children I have ever known. Nursing was simply great bonding time! I'm not sure what it would be like to "wean them off" purposely because they both weaned themselves. It's the old if I can't have it I want it more syndrome. Babies feel secure when at the breast. Since you have to work outside the home and be away for 9 hours per day...it is possible that your dd just needs some extra security right now. I was greatly blessed to be able to SAH with both my children until they became school age...therefore, we didn't deal with the many issues that I observe in children whose parents work outside the home. There's no replacement nor anyone like mom!
We also slept with out little ones regularly b/c it made life much simpler to nurse instead of getting up in the middle of the night to bottle feed. Once they started walking/running, they used up enough energy during the day to sleep through the night on most occasions. BEST WISHES! Ann

WHAAAAAT?!?!
This is a perfect example of a ped giving more than simple medical advice. He doesn't sleep in your house, it's not his business how or where she sleeps (as long as it's safe), how long she sleeps or how often she wakes (as long as she is otherwise healthy). Plus, he flat out gave you bad information. First of all, Sleeping Thru The Night is only catergorized as a 4-6 hour stretch. And although many babies can sleep this long without waking up, and some can sleep longer, it is waaaaayy more normal for a baby at this age, heck for most of the first year, to sleep less. And to wake often. IT IS NORMAL FOR A BABY TO WAKE OFTEN AND NEED HELP GETTING BACK TO SLEEP. Is has nothing to do with how much she ate that day, how much she ate at bedtime, how old she is or where she sleeps. It's just part of her physical and emotional makeup. There are no tricks.
So my advice is to totally ignore what the doctor said and seriously consider any advice he ever gives you again. I also advise you to continue with whatever sleep arrangement works for you and your family. No matter what any mom on here tells you, including me. You gotta use what works for you and your whole family groove. For me, that happened to be co-sleeping till DS was almost 2. Hubby and I are huge supporters of the Family Bed. Contrary to what others may tell you, it is still a safe practice (if done safely, just like safe crib measures). Cosleeping is especially beneficial to a nursing mom. It's the only way I ever got any sleep. I could not imagine getting out of bed all those times.
Holy cow! I just re-read your post. The doctor actually wants you to stop night nursing! Oh, honey, you need to dump him. He sounds ancient. Most good, modern, up-to-date peds will encourage all nursing, meaning at night and even into toddlerhood.

I'm gonna paste a bunch of links below for you to read. They are from reputable sites, I promise. You'll find out real quick that your little one is right on track, doing exactly what an 8 month old is supposed to be doing. And there is no need to change anything until and unless YOU and SHE are ready for a change.

Best wishes!!

CO-SLEEPING: YES, NO, SOMETIMES?
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp

31 WAYS TO GET YOUR BABY TO GO TO SLEEP AND STAY ASLEEP EASIER
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070300.asp

8 INFANT SLEEP FACTS EVERY PARENT SHOULD KNOW
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070200.asp

Studies on Normal Infant Sleep
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleepstudies.html
*(They don't sleep as well as most moms brag about!)

Sleeping Thru The Night
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleep.html
(It's happening waaaay less than people tell you!)

Mistaken Approaches to Night Wakening
http://www.nospank.net/fleiss2.htm

Sleep Chart-How much, when
http://www.lpch.org/diseasehealthinfo/healthlibrary/growt...

THIS IS SO COOL! We used the side car arrangement for a long time. It's where the crib attaches to the bed so you actually get the best of both worlds. Baby has access to the bed and likewise. Here's a link on how to set that up:
http://groups.msn.com/SteveandLishsFamily/sidecarcrib.msnw

Sleeping Safely With Your Baby
http://askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp

The Family Bed
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/familybed.html

********EDITED TO ADD*******
For some reason Dr Sears' links are not working right now. As a matter of fact, his entire site seems to be down now. I'll keep checking them. I won't leave you hanging :)

Dear A.,
I agree with most of the other responses.
My only hope for this doctor is that you or he may have misunderstood each other. Change doctors whether you did or didn't. Find a pediatrician with whom communication comes easier and who appreciates and respects your lifestyle and philosophies.
You and the doctor are equals/peers when it comes to managing the care of your child. You need to trust the doctor's insights, support, and guidance. The doctor needs to trust the care you provide, the information you provide, and the manner in which you follow doctors' orders.
It wasn't until my third child and the third pediatric doctors' office that I found a physician with whom I worked well and shared a mutual respect.

Our family also shared a "family bed". I, too, felt this was more necessary partially because of my work. I learned early, though, that mentioning it provoked disputes and debates, so I stopped mentioning it to the doctors. Today, I believe that my children are much more affectionate with us and with each other because they grew up sleeping in a family bed.

I am not an anthropologist or much of a historian, but I believe that individual beds for individual family members (outside of royalty) are a relatively new concept to civilization.

If YOU want to wean her; "I need to wean her off, and do not know how.", (and it sounds like you don't,) then weaning is the issue.
If YOU really want her to wake up later in the morning, try limiting her sleep the evening before. Put her to bed later or reduce her afternoon or evening naps for a couple of days to try to change her sleep patterns.
When she awakens, is she waking up crying? or is she waking up stirring, playing, or fussing? If she's not crying, she might just go back to sleep if she doesn't get stimulated.
Good luck!

Is there a reason you HAVE to wean her? It sounds like when she sees you that is her relaxation and comfort and destressing time. Babies look for that and that is wonderful that she looks at you in that way. I know that you don't want to have to wake up at 4 and then go to work, but it won't last long. Next time she wakes up, why don't you pretend that you don't hear her and pretend that you are still asleep and see if she will go back to sleep on her own.
Another option is try putting her to bed a little later so that hopefully she will sleep later. If you want to cut the morning feeding out that would be one way to do that and then let her nurse only when you came home from work. You are her comfort zone and that seems to help her relax after a hard day plus that is part of her love for you - looking for you to comfort you.
If you are mind set on not breast feeding anymore period then start with cutting the morning feeding out then give a bottle when you come home from work and then whenever else she breast feeds but cut them out one at a time and just supplement with a bottle for those cuttings since she obviously already takes a bottle from 8 to 5.
Good luck.

All my children did the same thing once I went back to work, until well past 1 year of age. It isn't a big deal to me to pick them up, latch them on and go back to sleep. I didn't really lose sleep that way, so I never saw any "need" to wean. Just because they didn't need the nutrition didn't mean they didn't need the affection and reassurance of making up for the time they didn't get with mom during the day.

If you are ready to help you sleep through the night, that's fine, but that has nothing to do with weaning. You can easily nurse her when you get up in the morning, when you come home and again at bed time. The easiest way to break her from waking up to nurse is to get her up around 30 minutes before she usually wakes up and nurse her, then put her back in her bed. Do that for a few days to a week, and then - don't. After a few days of that, babies will generally no longer be in the habit of waking herself up, and sleep peacefully right past the 4:00 mark. I did that with all of my kids to help them outgrow one or more of their night time wake-ups when it became appropriate, and it worked like a charm!

It doesn't matter where she sleeps, but if you want her to stay in a bed or crib, let her 'cry it out' a night or two when she wants to nurse in the middle of the night. My kids are grown, but I read in a baby magazine once an article about weaning that said if you were in the habit of someone fixing you a steak dinner in the milddle of the night and give you lots of 'lovin', you'd wake up for it even if you didn't need it! The only way you'd stop waking up for it would be for them to quit indulging you. LOL You can go comfort her by patting her and/or saying, "It's OK. I'm here" and going away, or just ignoring her. She'll get the message!

Re: actual weaning: In the same way that a young infant nursing lots/often builds your milk supply, the waning or lessening of nursing lets it 'back off'. The pituitary gland responds to the suckling stimulus and the less the baby nurses the less milk you'll produce. I nursed 4 babies at least a year each, and I never had any discomfort as they were weaned gradually.

All babies and I mean All babies sleep differently, just because your pediatrician says she should be sleeping through the night doesn't mean that she has to. My little girl is 2 and still wakes at least once a night. Every single person sleeps differently, so do children. I hate it when they do things like put them into shoebox categories!

Now we also still nurse, and she does sleep through the night sometimes, but if you want to night wean, you can do that without having to wean her completely. Just start telling her at night that it's time to sleep and she can have some booba or whatever you call it when she nurses in the morning. I've used "Booba's sleeping" and that seems to work. With your daughter being only 8 months old that will probably not work though. I'm still nursing so I don't see a problem but it's your child and your decision. Just remember that everyone is different, and don't compare your kids to other people's kids. I know that's hard to do, but you have to do what's right for you and her and forget the rest of the world.

I have to agree with the other mothers who have posted so far- are your trying to wean her because you need to or because the doctor says that she should be sleeping through the night? If it is the latter, I would keep doing what you're doing. As long as you (and if you have a hubby, him also) are ok with the current arrangements, I would leave it be. If you need her to sleep longer, I too would give her a large meal or cereal in her last bottle before bedtime and see if that works. One of the best things about breastfeeding is being able to put your baby on the breast and go back to sleep without having to wake up. My son began weaning from the breast at about 9 months. Once he was able to crawl around, he couldn't be bothered with nursing unless he wanted to cuddle, which was usually in the morning and at night. He weaned himself completely right at his first birthday and never asked for it again. I don't know if all children are so easy to wean, but that was my experience. Enjoy this time, it will be over all too soon...just remember, you're her mother and you know what she needs.

Hi! First, THANK YOU for your service to our country!
I'm a mom of 3, ages 32, 24, and 16, and grandmom of 3, ages 8, 6, and 18 mos. old (the only boy). I nursed my kids, the first one before it became popular! I let the first 2 wean themselves from breast to the cup, completing transition at about 15 mos. My youngest, I had while I was attending college, so she got a formula bottle some thru the day. She finally got to where she preferred the bottle, at about 8 mos, and it was the saddest day for me. So I say, if your little one still wants to nurse, let her! It is the most precious time. If she takes the bottle when she needs to but still wants Mommy Milk, oh please feel so grateful! She may wean herself from you and the bottle at the same time, who knows? I always followed cues from the babies about breast-feeding, and they all turned out OK. Why do you feel the need to have her completely on the bottle? I didn't read that in your question, so just asking! Best of luck with your little one. I really miss those days! BTW they all slept with us when they were little like that, just easier for me than getting up for them to nurse. I think sometimes they nursed when I was asleep! Good for you for letting her in bed where it's so cozy. She'll be on her own soon enough! (My "baby" just got her Drivers License!) Also, mine all turned out very independent toddlers. I think the security of the family bed leads to independence, not a barrier to it, like some will say. I do go on! Sorry. Blessings to you all!

A., I have to agree with 99% of the post that the other moms offered.

Please go back and REREAD them ALL... and remember to do what is best for YOU and YOUR family.

I actually changed Pedi's as we coslept until my DD was 3 1/2 and she wanted and was ready to go in her room... oh by the way, I nursed too till she was 2 yrs old... primarily at home and for comfort and nurturing, that is what builds the relationship that lasts during the difficult teen years... there is a bond so strong...

(Not to say that those who didn't nurse don't have the same bond, I don't want to be misunderstood by any means)

It is ok, When and if you decide to wean or let her wean herself, you need to have your DH put her to bed, and don't let her see you getting dressed, it will trigger nursing and you won't be able to sit down... you will have to stay busy... and busy... in the middle of the night your DH will have to give her a bottle... but then you have another issue with breaking her of that at some point.
With nursing your milk will change and she will eventually wean..or you can wait. :)

Why not continue since it seems to be working so well for you and your family already. :)

OH, my now almost 6 yr old DD that coslept till she was 3 and nursed till she was 2... sleeps fine.. no biggie, would you rather continue to nurse during the night and get sleep or rough it for about 1-2 weeks with a screaming little girl who will feel abandoned since you cut her off and she doesn't understand why?

Since I just asked a weaning questin recently I will provide some info someone told me to see if perhaps it can work for you. Has your sweetie tried a sippy cup yet?? My son is 11 months old and still waking at 4am and a few friends of mine had success at that age with leaving a sippy cup of water in their crib for them to find and drink when they get thirsty at 4am. Personally. I have not tried it yet because my supply is waning and each time I have dropped a feed my supply declines again- but it sure seemed like an easy way to deal with a middle of the night waking without getting up.

Good luck to you!!!

"but wakes up about 4 am ready for me to nurse her, and she wants to stay in our bed, so we let her, and we fall asleep together."

Remember that what your pediatrician recommends is that - a recommendation. If you want to continue nursing her at night, by all means. Also, I too was a working mother and I pretty much exclusively pumped exceptt for the middle of the night. The middle of the night was the only time my son would actually latch on and nurse. I nursed him probably til he was 10 months at night because I loved him nursing and he wouldn't do it any other time. It was my bonding time with him after not seeing him all day long! Doctors say that no baby should need to eat at night past 6 months, but I do not believe this is true with all babies. My son woke up and ate at night til he was around 12 months old. And he would eat like he was starving to death, regardless of how much he ate during the day. He started sleeping through the night completely (10 hours straight) between 12 to 13 months old.

If you truely want to get her to sleep longer, make sure you feed her a big dinner/bottle or nursing closer to her bedtime. As her mother though, let you and not the doctor be the judge as to what she's ready for. Also, as for making her own room, my 16 month old's crib is still beside of my bed, and he comes in the bed with us in the early morning hours for cuddles. Good luck whatever you decide.

Your pediatrician may indicate that Baby may not need to eat during the night, but she certainly may need you. Especially when I am away from my baby during the day, she wants more night nursing. NO, she doe not NEED anything else to EAT, but she NEEDS to make up some snuggle time. Why do you feel the NEED to wean? If she is in your room or in your bed, you really do not need to lose any sleep if/when she wakes. Unlike having to prep a bottle, offering a breast does not require me to fully wake up when baby wakes. These insane "sleeping through the night" awards probably came about with the popularity of formula--who wanted to get up and mix up a bottle? Yes, I'm sure EVERYBODY else's baby sleeps through the night at 6-weeks (liars) and EveryBody else thinks it is a "bad habit" to let your baby sleep with you, but you do not have everybody else's baby. You have YOUR unique, beautiful baby who needs YOU. She needs you to trust your motherly instincts. Only in America will you find people who place their babies in a separate room for 8-12 hours! You do not "need" to wean. omo

sounds to me like she is nursing mainly for comfort. when she wants to nurse, offer a bottle instead and see if she'll take it or maybe offer a paci or or other comfort object and just cuddle or rock her till she settles down.

As another post said...all babies sleep differently. Mine still gets up once a night (he is 7 months old) to nurse. When she wakes up during the night does she nurse the same length of time as she does when she is awake? If so, then she is hungry...if not then it is probably a comfort nursing she is doing. When my lo wakes up once it is b/c he is hungry. He will nurse for a while. Any other time he wakes up during the night it is just a soothing thing he wants...he really does not eat..just lays there asleep with my breast in his mouth...like a paci. So, I guess you need to decide why she is nursing...food or comfort...and go from there. With our first we let him cry a few nights b/c he was just doing it for comfort. When I say cry he only cried for about 5 minutes if that and it was more like whimpering and not full blown crying. With my lo that is 7 months I feed him once and if he cries out again I go and soothe him back to sleep (sometimes with the breast and sometimes not).