Weaning - Marysville,WA

I am curious what your husbands issue with breastfeeding is? Doesn't he want the best for his child? Breast is best. Especially if you already have a good nursing relationship with your baby. At this age I am sure the baby is very attached to the breast. With my son my goal was t get to a year and here we are a few months shy of his third birthday. Like all the other commenters I would just try and educate him on breastfeeding and the benefits.
Good Luck!

Food for thought....even a generic brand of formula will run you at the very least about $480 to $600 a month in extra expense....(that is two cans a week at $30 a pop)...I guess what I am wondering is what is wrong with your husband? What is his issue with breastfeeding? Why should you have to feel you need to respect his wishes and wean early? I am all for a mama weaning when SHE feels it is time etc...but I am not a supporter of men telling women what to do with their bodies, especially when it comes to an infant/mother relationship, even if that man is the father of the child.

You have not said why you want to wean other than your husband is uncomfortable with nursing. Do you want to as well? The ages you are shooting for are really really young....the World Health organization recommends no earlier than 2 and as long as mutually desired by mom and baby. The American Academy of Pediatrics says a minimum of a year and as long as desired. Worldwide the averages are over 4 years old, and this is including all the moms here who wean even just at a few days old.....

Would you and your husband be able to read more on nursing and the ways it benefits your child? Have you really talked with him about why he is uncomfortable?

I believe the best way to wean is to let the child do it on their own, this does not give the mom any sudden hormonal changes that a forced weaning does and also assures the child gets what they need and want. Every child will wean at different times, but it will be more waht they need.

If you still after educating yourself more about nursing want to wean I would go to a LLL meeting and get help with it, most of the experienced moms there have several weaned children and so know the best way to do it.

The best method I have had descibed to me is the "don't refuse, don't offer" and gradually and with love method.

I am not sure what to tell you about a pumping schedule, I have always worked too, but taken baby with me to work. I think you could cut back on the pumping if you wanted to, but of course not so much that you were leaking all over your work blouses and also not so much that you risk mastitis, trust me you don't want that, I've had it several times when I was nursing our first child.

I will tell you that if you wean you will not sleep near as much and that getting baby to bed will be very difficult, you might read " Night time parenting" for ideas on that.

Nursing for me has been the only way I could make working and having a baby and getting enough rest work, but this book may have some ideas for you...each child is different.

K., all due respect to your husband - it is not his decision! It's your's and your baby! If you can keep it up, breast is still best, and will really help his immunity and growth, plus it's FREE! I cannot imagine stopping for an arbitrary date. Weaning will happen naturally when you and your baby are ready to wean. For me and my twins that was at 10.5 months due to low production and their interest in solid food. For my friend, it's after a year. Just look into your heart and your baby's eyes and you'll know when it's time.

Good luck!

It is not good to wean a child before 8 months of age. What is your husband's problem. Maybe he needs to read a book called Best Feeding. Doesn't he know that breastfed children develop fewer allergies and have better emotional adjustment than bottle fed babies.

Your baby because he was early has several kinds of delayed development in digestion and dentition and so breast feeding is best. Your baby will catch up with others his age. Of course you are having a hard time adjusting to not feeding him. It's the mother instinct telling you what is good for you and your child.

If you have a supportive pediatrician or even general physician, maybe you can take you husband to have a discussion with a health professional about why breastfeeding until age one is best for your baby.

I weaned at 19 month under the increasing pressure from my husband, who was embarrassed and somewhat disgusted by the idea of breastfeeding from the very beginning. I have been and still am harboring quite a bit of resentment for him for pressuring me, and severing the breastfeeding bond before either she or I were emotionally ready. It ultimately was my decision, but I would not have weaned without his pressure.

If your decision is set, start by eliminating one feeding or pumping at a time. I found is was good to go in two week increments (I eliminated one feeding every two weeks), so I was never too engorged. I eliminated pumpings first. What I did was eliminate one pumping and spread out the other two evenly (like at 10 AM and 2 PM) , then down to one pumping mid-day (and nursing immediately before and after work to ease any engorgement issues).

Good luck!

You should not wean because your husband wants you to. It should be your descision, but on the other hand don't let any of breast feeding nazi's make you feel bad for giving your child formula. Your child will still grow up and be healthy and smart if they are given formula. You have already given your child a great gift by breastfeeding him for the first months of his life. Any breastfeeding is better than no breast feeding. Formula is harder to digest then breast milk so they generally stay fuller longer. Try giving a bottle of formula before bedtime (on a weekend if you work during the week) and see how he sleeps. Make sure he burps well bottle feeding creates more gas no matter how good your bottle is. I am currently trying to wean my 2nd baby with no luck at all! Please make sure this is your desicion otherwise you may regret it.

Hi, K. - I'm sorry you're in the middle of this conflict; you really shouldn't have to be. I don't know what to tell you about weaning; I've never had to do it at that age as I was a long-term nurser with all 3 of my kids (we stopped at 2 1/2, 3, and 3 1/2). Is your husband open to educating himself on all the benefits of breastfeeding? There are countless reasons to continue (and not only for the baby's health, but for your own, as well!), not the least of which being the fact that your baby was premature and will need it more than full-term babies might. There are nutrients in breastmilk - and yours specifically for your child - that can NEVER be duplicated in formula, as they haven't even been discovered yet! Maybe you could find a local La Leche League meeting in your area, or check out one of their books at the local library, to inform yourself and your husband of some of the facts. LLL leaders are trained to help you understand not only the "how" but the "why" of breastfeeding, and their meetings can be a great source of support for those who want to continue.

Good luck, K.! I'm sure your husband's a great guy, but this IS for your baby and you, not for his benefit or convenience. :-)

I don't know how you go about weaning per say, I haven't had to do it, but I do buy formula for my daughter who is 2 months, and since I know you said money is an issue, I thought I would help with that part of it. WIC, if you qualify, will give you up to 8 small cans of formula, 12.9 oz per month at about $14 each, but I think they cut it down when the baby starts to get solid foods. Costco has Enfamil (the regular kind) for about $30 a can and Similac Isomil, (the soy kind) for $28 a can. These are the big ones that are about 33 oz each. My baby goes through about 5 big ones a month and her bottles are only 4-5 oz each.

Do you know if your baby has any milk allergies? I read that a lot of babies will be lactose intolerant but will grow out of it. If you or your husband had problems when you were young, then the little one might too. I also read that 40% of babies that are allergic to milk are also allergic to soy and there is only one other formula that you can buy that doesn't have either one in it, and it is $26 for the 12.9 oz can. If I were you, I would try out the formulas and see which ones you are going to need before you cut down your milk supply too much. If you end up needing the expensive one its much cheaper and easier to pump. I hope that helps you make an informed decision. Good Luck!

keep feeding till he is closer to 12 months.

Hi K.. I agree with the other moms who have said that the decision to stop breastfeeding should be your decision. I had a really tough time weaning with my twins because I was pumping so much and couldn't go very long in between pumping. When you are ready to wean, only pump out enough milk so that you are not uncomfortable. Your body will eventually get the point and stop producing as much. I was totally doing it wrong and I was emptying out my breasts and then trying to go longer in between pumping (bad idea). If you are still having trouble, start taking sage (the herb). I got some in liquid tincture form from herblore.com and I was completely dried up in 36 hours. It worked like a miracle for me.

Does your baby drink any formula at all? Besides the cost, some babies have problems making the transition. We never gave my kids formula, but switching to cow's milk at 1 yr always took some time.
I don't pump, but w/ breastfeeding you encourage fluids through bottle or sippy cup. I chose sippy cup because I didn't want to wean from a bottle later to a sippy cup. Encourage fluids at meals or the feeding you are trying to cut out. This works to a point for me, but finally I just have to cut out everything.
Congratulations on breastfeeding as long as you have. Many people don't make it that long do to lack of support or other difficulties or hassles of working and pumping.

Wow, what a tough position to be in as a Mother. So much great advice from all these Moms and I have to chime in that I feel the same and BF my son to 20 months and am still with my daughter who is now 1. Babies know what they need. They suckle as much as they need, they eat as much solids as they need, they poop when they need to, they sleep as much as they need to. If possible it should be driven by the child.

However, your husband needs to know what is in it for him:
1. Healthier baby, nutrition and access to Mom's immune system
2. Cheaper/Free, formula costs a lot
3. He is off the hook for any feedings
4. No one has to get up in the night or fetch/warm/pack/prepare bottles
5. You are happier as it is a Mother's instinct
6. Healthy attachment for the baby

All mammals suckle and sleep with their young. If you continue breastfeeding you may not choose to sleep with your baby too, (something we do and something I am also guessing he would be against) :) Good luck!

PS: teeth don't hurt as they are sucking not biting :)

Hi K.,

There is a multitude of solid sources that will tell you and your husband that breastmilk is the best thing for your child for the first year. There is no other source of food that has the same nutritional value, it is the perfect food for your child, and nothing else is equal. From what I've heard about preemies, it is especially beneficial, and the nursing experience will be beneficial for him also, the longer the better. You don't say what your husband has against nursing and breastmilk, but everyone from a local midwife to the World Health Organization will tell you that breastmilk should be your first choice, formula your second for the first year. No-one recommends going to a mostly solids diet under a year old, the baby can't properly digest it, and it won't cover their intense nutritional needs.

Also, if your husband is having a lull in commissions, you should be aware that formula is very expensive, and also a lot of trouble. You can do the math on how much it costs by figuring out ounces needed by baby, ounces supplied per can, and then add probably 25% from what I've heard about formula wasted when the baby just drinks part of the bottle and you have to throw away the rest.

You should not "get" your baby to not eat in the night. They need to eat when their stomach is empty, and their stomach is going to be empty during the night. It isn't fair to make him go hungry, it is just his biological need. At 6 months, sleeping through the night is still considered 5 hours, so you're lucky he's going so long as 8.

Best wishes.... I hope you find a healthy solution for everyone, and am glad to hear that for at least 6 months he's getting to nurse with you.