Virtual Hug

Updated on June 28, 2007
J.M. asks from Austin, TX
11 answers

Hi Mommies~

I just had a positive pregnancy test! My husband and I are so excited but also so scared!!! I have a 10 month old right now and just feel like I have started to get used to the routines we have! Now, everything is changing...and although I know that it is for a wonderful new person it is still a little (lot) frightening. We don't have a lot of money and defintely live on a tight budget. I guess I just need a virtual hug! Someone who has been there and made it work out with two babies 18 months apart! (I know it could be closer like some mommies) I just am not telling my mom and sister yet so I need this forum to sort of be my surrogate family! Is that silly? Did you have loads of struggles with a new baby, financial stress and kids so close in age?

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L.A.

answers from Dallas on

Ha! I announced my pregnancy on a forum about 2 weeks before I told ANY family or friends! I needed the support too, and needed to tell someone, but I didn't want the word to get out.

Mine is 17 months, and I am 4 months pregnant, and we too are on a tight budget, but it will all work out. Plus, we have family to help out the first couple weeks when the little one arrives. I have so much stuff from my first, that anything else I need, I will get from Kid to Kid, ebay or craigslist.

My sister and I are 18 months apart, and we LOVED being so close in age. Good luck!

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P.P.

answers from Dallas on

Hi J.,

I only have one child but I wanted to congratulate you! Hubby and I will be trying for a second very soon and I can't wait to get pregnant again.

My sister and I are 14 months apart and eventhough there was rivalry growing up, I love that we are close in age so we can understand each other's issues.

lots of hugs and congratulations to you and your hubby.

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

Congrats to you and your husband J.. My sons are 10 months apart, they are now 14 and 15. The biggest thing that we struggled with was daycare costs because we both were working full time. I realized I was actually working for 2.25 an hour, so I actually looked at the numbers and found a part time night time job and made more money. We were raising our children and still not struggling so much. Now there are alot of companies who have flexible scheduling or working from home options. Just look at all of your options. Good Luck!

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C.A.

answers from Dallas on

Hi J.,

Congratulations! I'm sure your family will be thrilled. My boys are 18 months apart, and I did get a few "Oh, was this on purpose?" questions, but it was okay. I know it's soon to have another, but it has been so awesome. I found that you weren't far removed from baby life, so it wasn't a big shock.

Congratulations, again!
C.

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C.

answers from Dallas on

My kids are exactly 18 months apart (girl/boy) At times it was hard, but I am really glad they are close in age. I was a stay at home mom during this time, so financially we were a bit strained.

I can't imagine what it would be like if they were further apart in age. They bug each other at times while other times they are the best of friends. When one is gone, they miss each other.

You will get the comments about the closeness of age from some friends and family. Just let it roll off your shoulder.

I do highly recommend a double stroller! The baby's car seat will fit in the back seat and the big girl sits in the front. They have lots of storage underneath too.

We kept my son in a bassinet in our room for awhile since our daughter was still in a crib. We ended up borrowing a good friend's crib so that both kids would have their own until our daughter was ready for a big girl bed. It worked well.

Congrats and best wishes!

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B.P.

answers from Dallas on

big hugs coming your way sweety. My daughter had her girls 14 months apart. I been there to help her on more than one occassion
the girls are now 7, and 8 and close to one another.

Just take a deep breathe and enjoy that your kids will be close, remember to take some time out for the oldest one when the little one does come.

Believe me if folks would wait to have the money before kids there wouldn't be so many kids. you will learn to cut back and start that learning process now.. then it won't be so hard on your later.
I know sometimes it seems you are strength beyond what you can be with the budget, but GOD will show you the way if you just lean on HIM to help you in this sitution.

COng. and things will be ok sweety
from a grandmother that didn't like when my daughter was pg with the 2nd one, now wouldn't trade them off in a New York Minute. LOL
and I'm raising both girls now. LOL

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D.W.

answers from Dallas on

{{{{{{{{J.}}}}}}}

Congratulations! My #2 and #3 are 19 months apart, and then #4 came along 23 months later!! There is 4 years between #1 and #2. It somehow all works out. My hubby is a self-employed contractor so we had no insurance to cover the pregnancies plus his income is always variable.
I always rested in the knowledge that children are a gift from God and that He wouldn't give me one w/o the means to support him or her.
Enjoy and be happy!!!!!!

D.

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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

Hi J.

My two angels are just under 14 months apart. You should be very excited---there are so many positives when your kiddos are close in age. The first 6 months or so will be tough, so line up support as soon as you tell family and friends. I had several strangers come up to me when I was pregnant and make comments about how close they would be (my oldest was 6 months when we conceived). One lady said "I will be praying for you." I was offended, but realistically, there were days that I hoped she was. The main struggles are:
**trying to feed baby with a toddler loose---create a playroom with gates or something to help relieve stress that she will not get hurt when you are busy with baby.
**getting rest when they have see-saw nap schedules---one up, one down, etc.

Now, they are 2.5 years and 16 months and I would not have it any other way. I LOVE that they are close. They play great together and will experience a lot of life stages at the same time. The financial stress is daycare, so I do not work full time out of the home. I ran an in-home childcare for awhile, but that is so tough to ever feel like you can relax. Even when the kids left, my house was a wreck and I was too. So, mamaw moved in and in exchange for rent, she watches the girls part time. I bring in what we need to make bills and I am here with them more than I would be otherwise. It is a sacrifice on lifestyle, but I would not change it one bit. With a little creativity, some sacrifice, and lots of support from friends and family, you will treasure each moment with your two bundles of joy. Make life as simple as possible in any way you can find...the little transitions and routines make a huge difference. And make sure to do date nights with hubby...you will see each other in passing unless you carve out some together time with someone watching the lil' ones.

Embrace this time and the challenges...it is a time we will never forget nor do we want to.

If you need ANYTHING...EMAIL!!! ____@____.com

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K.

answers from Dallas on

You already have a lot of good responses, but mine are exactly 18 months aprt and I love it! Yes, it is a little hard at first, but no harder than if your 1st was older in my opinion. The nice thing is at 18 months, my daughter was not really old enough to be jealous, so we dod not go through that. Now they are 3 and 1 and a half and they share a room, sleep well, and play together all the time. They are so close (apart from the occasional squabble), and I love it. My younger adores her big sister, and my oldest loves being protective her her little sister. I also did not feel that 2 cost much more than 1 since we already had al the big stuff. Best wishes!

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B.S.

answers from Dallas on

Here's your hug! Mine were 15 months a part (with an older daughter at 3 1/2 years). She was always independent but the two younger ones were and are still so very close today.

Here's what you'll be dealing with.

If you bottle feed and you have expensive formula and even if the older baby is weaned, that one will want the formula so go back to the bottle so the older one won't come flying by and "stealing" it while you're burping the baby.

Second, watch the older one because he's not goning to understand soft spots, or that his hugs are too tight and kisses too hard and might be a little jealous as well.

If the older one is a climber, keep a close out with the infant in the crib. I could blink my eye and my son would be in the crib with my daughter wanting to play with his big kid toys.

The added child may be a problem going to the grocery store what with one basket full of babies and then the second cart for the groceries. That was really the only time having the three all under the age of 4, and of course the bottle bandit.

Now that's some of the downsides. Here are the upsides. They will be close once the little one gets bigger. They will go through schools together, school events, braces, cars, college and weddings all at the same time (and you think you have a tight budget now!). (If they are opposite sexes, they'll share each others friends as potential dates.)But when they spread their wings you'll be done with child rearing, you'll still be young and life will be great for the two of you...until the grandchildren come about 18 months apart.

I have a friend with 9 children all about 18-22 months apart and she's managed to be sane (if one can be sane wanting 9 children) so I know you'll be fine.

And here's another hug for the road!

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D.F.

answers from Dallas on

Congrats to you and your family{{{{{hugs,hugs, hugs & more hugs}}}}}I have been in your shoes sweetie, I have 4 kids but of the 4 I have a set of twins and when they turned a year old I found out I was having a another one..... And Yes I was also scared and nervous as to what we were going to do cause money was also tight. Cause you see my husband had just started his own business so he was self-employed just starting out and never home and when he was home it was like he wasn't here. But I got on WIC and applied for Medicare cause we coludn't afford to put me on the health insurance cause they didn't cover me.. That was stressful but it worked out.Yes it was scary having her then the twins cause that meant more bottles, more diapers, less sleep than what I already didn't have but triple the love...I was even scared what if I didn't have the time to love my baby? But that lessned over time and when I had her it disappered, when I held her in my arms. But today my oldest is 14 , my twins are 7 and my baby is 5 going on 6 in August and I look back and wonder where did the time go??
And before you know it, it's time for them to start school!!!!Yea!!!! But today I have different things going on, different problems but none the less I still love them.. MAybe I would have waited a little longer but that wasn't for me to make that decesion. That was God's decesion for me to have that precious little girl and just like you to have yours. Remember He nver gives us more than we can handle and he thinks you and hubby can handle this bundle of joy. Your going to love it and be scared all at the same time.And thats normal!
But before you know it will be time to send them of to school and life will be alittle "normal".......If you need a shoulder to cry on or need some advice to do with those sweet babies I'm here just like all the other mom's here on this board.... Just send me a e-mail to ____@____.com anytime.
Here's some more hugs going your way {{{{HUGS,HUGS}}}}
Take care and sleep when you can,D.

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