Very Emotional 3 Yr Old

A., What you are describing is very familiar to me. I have been divorced for 10 years and my daughter was 3 when her father and I got divorced. It is hard to deal with these emotions since we are feeling so stressed and rejected too. What I did was make a point to talk with my daughter frequently about the divorce and explain that you understand it is a change and it hurts. Reassure her that her father still loves her. Quiet time with her also helped. If she was throughing a fit in a public place, I would let her do so for a bit of time, and then remove her to the restroom for the remainder of the tantrum. It is best to let your son express his anger and pain. Then address the inappropriate behavior. Remember we too are emotional over the divorce. We feel rejected, angry and hurt. They do too. S.

I am also divorced and my ex is not a constant in their lives. He is very unreliable. YOu didn't say whether or not their father is a good support to them, whether or not there is constant fighting with the two of you?? There are lots of factors that play into it.

Without knowing all the variables I can tell you this.

1. It is okay for him to be confused and upset. The best thing you can do for him is to let him show his feelings - if he needs to be "left alone" to sort them out (like when he is hard to console" that is ok. Let him calm himself and then come back to it when he is more approachable.

2. Your frustration is natural. As mothers we feel that we have to "solve" everything. Don't be so hard on yourself. You won't have all the answers. Sometimes all they really need is to cry, for them to see you cry and to be held.

3. YOur child seems a little young to benefit from counseling. He is still young enough that he will forget alot of the things you are so focused on now. He will talk about it when he is ready one way or another. Give him outlets like drawing, music, games, playdates.

4.And most importantly make sure you and your ex are on the same page - don't fight around the kids, don't discuss issues like the divorce, child support, etc when they are in earshot and you are venting to a friend. THEY HEAR EVERYTHING.

Good luck.

This is a hard time in your son's life he is at the age of knowing that something just isn't right,now that dad is nolonger in the same house he feel's that.I don't have experience in this area,but me and my husband do argue alot and it effect's the kid's as well,we are trying to do it not in front of them my son is 4 and daughter 1.Give him lot's of hug's & kisses as well as your 2 yr. old. Ask him what color of sippy cup he want's to use,let him choose from 2 shirt's you pull out for him which one he'd like to wear,if it is simple ?'s to ask him let him choose he want's to be in control of something,when he fall's into tear's pick him up tell him how much you LOVE HIM,and that we will get through this together. If he is a talker ask him ?'s how do you feel let him respond. You'll be amazed on what a 3 yr. will tell you from their point of view. Hope this will help, I hate the thought of my kid's ever going through this.

My hubby was recently out of the country for 4 months (for work), and my 4 year old daughter had similar emotional outbursts. She just had very big emotions that she didn't know what to do with, and it was sometimes too much for her. I just tried to have lots of patience and spend extra time giving her my full attention and affection. It was sometimes so frustrating for me, because I was trying to do more than was possible in a 24 hour period, and many days I was emotionally exhausted, too. But I found that if she was having an outburst, if I just stopped and put my arms around her and let her cry, sometimes even sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, she felt a little better afterwards. I would often whisper in her ear that she was okay and "please calm down." We sometimes talked about it afterwards, but that wasn't always effective. I think by modeling a calm response and letting him experience his big feelings, you are validating him, and it will help over time. I think you are doing a great job by recognizing that your son is going through a tough time, and by taking him to a counselor. This is a very difficult time that will eventually get easier. Hang in there!

Sometimes if kids like to draw it is an easier way to express their feelings

Give him some paper and crayons and ask him to draw a picture of his family, his house, a picture of dad or mom etc. Sometimes they will open up things to you in a picture and talk about it when asked, when he did not understand how to tell you in words alone.

Be sure and tell the dad that you are doing this so he can do it with him when he is at his house too. It might open up both your eyes to something you never thought of.

Good luck

I suggest the father be involved and give a little comforting since he is the absent partent. It may be seperation axiety. Kids have no idea why they have these emotions. He is three ask him why he is so sad. tell him that you can help him if he can tell you what makes him mad, sad and glad. he may express to you his true feeling then you can take it from there.
Also maybe a sunday school program. You can tell the teacher ahead the problem and maybe they can help. God Bless.