Vacationing Without Husband and Kid

Maybe you should tell them the real reason you don't want to go, I mean so they don't ask you again, sheesh.

:(

Just be honest with them. If you don't want to go then don't go. But it's nice that they WANT you to join them, isn't it?

If you don't want to go, don't go.
I no longer like to go w/o the kids.
They are divorced & w/o their kids half the time, so they don't get it.
Only do what you want to do.
Stay home & don't feel guilty!

I have gone on vacation without my husband and children. I went with friends. I wanted to go. I knew my husband would have no problem taking care of the kids and home while I was gone. He encouraged me to go. It wasn't for a long time. It all worked out very well. A total success all around.

But I would NEVER go on vacation with people (related or not) if I truly didn't want to, or the vacation itself would cause me stress. That's not a vacation. In your case, you don't actually *want* to go on vacation with your sisters. Not wanting to leave your husband and kids is as good a reason as any to avoid going.

I don't see any problem with going on vacation without your family, though. That's not really the issue here, is it? It's that you don't want to go with your sisters and *prefer* to vacation with your own family. And that's fine. Personally, I love having a vacation FROM my family (I love vacationing WITH my family, too). I feel good and recharged when I get back and the kids LOVE having alone time with Daddy (he lets them do stuff Mom would never allow...which is also ok).

It's totally up to you and what you are comfortable with doing, and what you want to do.
If it were me? I would have my bags packed already. I would find someone to take them to school and watch them afterwards (and at their age, they could watch themselves for a couple of hours after school).
Don't get me wrong. I love vacationing with my husband and kids. But a little time away with no one to worry about but myself? Sign me up!

I don't think there's anything inherently "wrong" with a girls trip...but it sounds like you just don't really want to go.
I'm sure you'd work something out if you really, REALLY did!

I think that vacationing without your husband and kids is fine. Sounds like to you, traveling *with them* is the issue and that for you, a trip with them wouldn't be worth the hassle or time apart, which is also fine. But their invitation isn't an outrageous idea.

Well if you don't want to go, that's all the reason you need.
Personally, I'd ditch my family in a second for that trip! In fact..would your sisters like to take me?

My DH would not give a second thought to "taking over" for a week so that I could go relax. That's just how we do it. In fact, I've had 2 girl's trips this year already, and he is going to Oktoberfest in Germany this fall with his buddies.

If you wanted to go, a couple of tweens could take care of themselves for a few hours until their dad got home.
If you just don't want to go, then tell them, you don't really want to go.

If you don't want to go then don't. You can make up all the excuses in the world to get out of it or you can just say no thank you.

Your children are 10 and 12 which means they should be pretty self sufficient. I would worry if they and hubby depended on me SO much that I could not get away for "me" time.

Personally, I think it is a good thing to have a few days away to recharge, come home and be an even better wife and mother. It also gives dad time to bond with the children without mom around.

Yes, I have been on vacation all by myself a few times and LOVED every minute of it. I'm heading out in July alone and in the middle of my trip, my daughter (19) is flying in to join me for the remainder of my trip.

It is a good thing for me and my family.

you clearly don't want to go, so what's the problem? why do you need validation?
i'd move heaven and earth to take a vacation with sisters (if i were blessed with any instead of 5 smelly brothers), and my husband has always been my partner and we look out for each other, including picking up the slack so the other can have a break every now and then.
so no, i don't feel that way. but i don't know why you need MP mamas to validate your decision since it's not something that you even care about doing.
khairete
S.

Sounds to me that you just do not want to go with them and it really is not about your hubby or kids.
I know for me that I have in the past used my hubby and kids as an excuse. I should have been honest from the get go.
If you really wanted to go, you would find a way to do it.
Just tell them the truth, these are your sisters.
Many blessings

If you don't want to go, either because of the company or because of the location, fine. Just tell them you don't want to travel with them because you don't enjoy it.

Now if you did want to go, then of course your adult husband and half-grown kids could function without you for a week. That is why your sisters reacted when you used them as your excuses to say no.

Well, there are two different things going on here: one is whether you would want to take a vacation without your husband and kids, but the other is whether you want to take a vacation with your sisters.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a vacation without your husband and kids. It is GOOD to get away and have your own time sometimes. There are always options for your children after school, too. Hire a babysitter for the week, ask a friend to take them home, see if the after-school program can take them for one week only, etc. Also, at ages 10 and 12, they're probably ok staying home alone for a couple of hours. Kids that age can babysit, so they can certainly be home alone.

Now, if you don't want to travel with your sisters, that's a different story. That has nothing to do with whether your husband and kids go or not. If you don't think you'd have fun with your sisters, then don't go. But if you would enjoy a trip with them, it shouldn't matter that your husband and kids don't go.

I would've told them that that kind of vacation is just not your thing right now.
They are done raising their families and you are not.
It's ok for you all to be at different places in your lives.
When your kids are grown, then you can resume the sister vacations again - if you feel like it.
If you don't enjoy their company, then just say no and thank them for asking.

Going on a vacation with the husband and kids is great, but so is a vacation from the husband and kids. It does sound as though you are using your husband and kids as an excuse, and the real reason you don't want to go is that you don't enjoy your sisters company. Face it, your husband is probably perfectly capable of taking care of two kids for a week, and a ten and twelve year old shouldn't require after school child care. Just tell your sisters that you would rather vacation with your husband and kids than vacation with them.

Welcome to mamapedia!!

It sounds as if you don't like your sisters. I'm sorry about that!

I would LOVE to go on vacation with my sister!! That would be AWESOME!!
Your kids are old enough to stay home alone for a few hours after school.

If you don't want to go - just say you don't want to go. It really does make life easier. Don't use your kids as an excuse. Just tell them the truth. I would prefer to vacation with my husband and kids. Have a great time!

I think if you wanted to go - and you are always home w the kids, and want to go on a trip w your sisters and your husband just would not make arrangements for ONE week, then that is a problem. BUT - that doesn't sound like that is your problem. The problem is, you don't want to go! LOL - so don't go. Doesn't sound like an issue to me :-)

It's okay that you don't want to go. If you did, you'd find a way to make it work.

Stop making excuses why you CAN'T go. You don't WANT to go! Enough said!

You're not required to go on vacation with your sisters. They are in a very different place in life than you are. It's understandable that a stay at home parent with school aged kids doesn't have alternative childcare and not every working person has the option to change their work hours for a week. Now, if you really wanted to go to the Dominican Republic with your sisters, I'd urge you to find a way to make it happen, but if you don't really want to go, it's fine to tell them that you don't have childcare and any vacation money that your family has is for family trips.
I did leave my kids for weekends for visits to my sisters or friends.
Good luck

If it were me, I would totally go! Have your husband take some time off or see if you have a neighbor that you can pay to watch your kids until he gets home from work. Unless you really don't want to go.

You are blessed that your sisters want to do a sisters only week. My sisters, even before we were estranged, would never gather without inviting a friend. That always made me feel as if they could not enjoy themselves with just us.

I'd switch places with your situation in a heartbeat.

I don't think they're anything wrong with it generically if someone did it on occassion bc it was kind of a unique trip etc. But your case sounds different. You don't really want to go with them in particular... And if you don't have anyone to watch your kids, I think it'd be unfair for you to burden your husband. You say he works really hard and if your kids are 10 and 12, they're in school so you typically have some free time vs are worked to the bone on a regular basis and need this time off more than he does. So each situation is different and in your case, sounds like a no brainer to not go. Just tell them your husband is too busy and his boss won't give him the time... Come home early? Kids get out of school way way before my husband is home... Likely you're not talking an hour early.

i could never vacation without my son and husband..

If you don't enjoy vacationing with them, don't go. You didn't like it before you had kids, so there's no need to go now - unless you think the issues you had with them then have been outgrown. It might be a way to build a relationship but you'd have to set some ground rules about things you all enjoy or things you will not be joining them for. (For example, if they want to go out to a singles bar and you don't, you'd stay back at the hotel with a good book and a view of the sunset.) However, if you don't think the activities would be fun, then why bother?

However, I agree with them that your husband should be willing to take some time to take care of HIS children, and they all should see you as a person with needs and wants and wishes, not their slave. It can actually be terrific to have everyone realize how much you do! It's also a way for them all to feel a little more competent! When you aren't there to do things, there's a choice - they either do it themselves, or they do without. They can build appreciation as well as a strong sense of their own resilience. The kids are going to be teens soon, so learning to be self-sufficient and to make good choices are good things to be encouraging in them.

If you decide not to go with your sisters, I'd suggest you consider an alternative such as a weekend or a 3-day weekend when the kids have vacation. Let the kids see you as tired and never on vacation, let them see their father as a strong caretaker, and let them see that both men and women have responsibilities for home and family. If you have sons, they will be better husbands and fathers. If you have daughters, they will choose better men for themselves and not grow up to make their own needs secondary to everyone else's.

You know your sisters, we don't. I would love to do a vacation with only my sisters; never even thought of it, not a long one, maybe just a weekend thing, but it will never happen. My one BIL is too controlling and wouldn't let my sister do it. I have the oldest and youngest child in the bunch, my oldest is 19 and my youngest is 7; so it'd be a while before we all could do something like that.

My sisters and I are family vacation people; we'd all prefer to do a all family vacation with all spouses and kids; especially the kids part. My husband would never go, and I'm fine with it, excepted it that a long time ago. But just to spend time with them and my nieces and nephews would be fun.

If it's too stressful, be honest with them, they are your sisters; secondly just be honest with them, you'd rather do a vacation with your husband and children. Don't let them make you feel guilty.

I agree with you.Always felt the same way. Stick to what you feel.

I go on vacation with my married siblings their spouses and their children. They are in a different place and it sounds like they are not able to undertstand your situation. I agree with you but be dipolmatic. They are still your sisters and its nice they wanted your company.

If you don't want to go, don't go. If you did want to go (outside of your responsibilities), I would side with your sisters. I take a girl's trip every year and sometimes it requires that my husband work from home or take a day off. We make it work.

I too have no desire to vacation without my husband and kids.

Don't go because it sounds like you'd rather stay home with your family. Maybe just do a day trip or over night trip during the weekend with your sisters.

Your oldest child is old enough to go to someone else's house and babysit their children by themselves. Are you sure you need someone to baby sit a child old enough to be hired as a babysitter? Why can't that child babysit the other child?

I truly think they are more than old enough to watch themselves a couple of hours by themselves.

I'd go.

The point is:
It is STRESSFUL to vacation with them.
REGARDLESS of it being when you were single or now that you have kids (no matter how old they are is irrelevant), and are married.
The BOTTOM line is: going on a trip with them is... STRESSFUL and UNpleasant.
So... don't go.

If you do go, it will be all about pleasing... them.
Not yourself.
And it will not be fun or enjoyable or relaxing nor stress-free.
WHY go on a vacation with people, who are stressful?
That to me, is the BOTTOM line.
I would not spend money on a trip, and going with people who are stressful and will stress me out.
A vacation, should be enjoyable.

Oh and they are "horrified" that your Husband cannot go to work later and come home earlier from work?
Well geez, he is an employee and not all employees can take of work for even a sick day when their kid is home sick.
That is how it is.
MANY employees, cannot just come and go as they want from work.
That is how it is.

Just say no! What fun will it be for you to go on a trip with people you don't like, even if they are relatives? Don't make excuses or try to persuade your sisters to support your decision. Don't expect them *not* to talk about you, either. Just say you won't be going, and you hope they'll have a wonderful time together, talk to you later, good-bye.

It would be nice if you could say, "Well, we're planning a family trip there next year!" But don't say that unless you and your husband have really started planning one! "Stories" like that have a way of hitting one in the face later on. I mention this only in passing because a friend made up something like that, and every time her relatives saw her for the next year they asked, "When are you going on your family trip??" Not a good thing.

If you'd like to take a day or two of vacation by yourself, do it on a weekend when your husband can be in charge of things at home and your children can help him. Find a getaway for yourself and take what you like to do best - books, journals, camera, hiking boots - whatever floats your boat. You may have a good time all by yourself, enjoying your own company - and your husband will have some good one-on-two time with the children.

Nope, you're not. I have single girlfriends who plan destination celebrations/get-aways, and I just am not interested in traveling--let alone leaving the country--for an extended period of time without my husband. They laugh at me, and I don't care. It's not that he won't let me or that I'm afraid to be without him.

Maybe--MAYBE--if this were a "best friend" situation, then I might entertain the idea. I love them, but I don't want to go away with them or necessarily even spend the night with them. I tire of people fairly quickly, and when I'm ready to be done, it can't be over fast enough.

Trust your gut feeling about it and don't think anything more about it. Just my opinion =)

I also prefer to vacation with my husband and son. I wouldn't be against going with my sister somewhere but we both go with our own families.

As my husband says, " if it ain't fun, don't do it".

I have gone on a sisters trip and an all girls trip--both awesome! My husband was super supportive. If you don't want to go, don't go!