M.R.
Are you sure your not from Ohio? I have a friend who was in the same situation. I don't think that the VA can force you to sell the house, but you need to speak to your divorce attorney about the kind of pressure your ex can put on you. What does the decree say about the loan? If your ex did not specify anything in the decree about how the actual loan would be handeled, he may be out of gas. In my friends decree, all she had to do was to "try" to refinance the house, she did, and it did not go through so she met the standard. I would look to your decree first, because that is the document that really tells you what you have to do, and if he is asking for something that he forgot to ask for during the divorce, then you may just be able to get the judge to order that he quit hounding you about it. There was not a problem with my friend living in the house without the veteran, she was awarded the home in a court document, I would bet that the same is true for you. Ask your lawyer, and have them bill your ex!
M.