Using the Nuk

Hi S.,
Honestly, my son never took a binky. I was glad because I have seen the problems people have breaking kids from them. I would suggest not using one myself, if you can help it.

They say that until six months old, they still have the sucking reflux and therefore, will need something. I wouldn't worry about it then for a few more months.

4 months old is really young to start worrying about this, let her get comfort from it. My son is 28 months old and still uses the nuk. Since he was 1 year old I started limiting it to car rides, naps and bedtime only. Then at about 1.5 years I took it out of the car rides. As for bedtime and nap, I don’t plan on making him give it up until around the age of 3 (or when his nuks break, whichever comes first). I have read nothing concrete about it affecting any part of his development or his teeth and my doctor agrees that there’s nothing concrete out there to prove the old theories, so I see no reason to cause him undue stress by making him give up his nuk now. He is talking at a good level and his teeth are just fine. And usually after he falls asleep the nuk falls out anyway, so it’s only in his mouth while he is trying to fall asleep. I would much rather him have the nuk then his thumb or fingers. Good luck.

We LOVE pacifiers at our house and have actually helped our kids like them as newborns because we think it's much easier to break than if they start sucking their thumb. All 3 of our girls have used one and our youngest is 16 months. We've found that if you take it away before they are 2 it's still pretty easy. (We only let them have it for nap and bed after they are 1) You might have a few tough nights when you take it away, but I think it gets harder if they're over 2. Anyway, yours is plenty young--don't worry about letting her use it!!

I would have to agree with everyone else. Their was an episode on the news one night about "how old is too old for the pacifier?" They actually said that by the age of 9 months baby's have established sucking and that they don't need to use a pacifier after that.

I used to work in retail and would see children as old as 4 sometimes pushing 5 still using the pacifier. I honestly see this a problem with learning to talk and speech problems. My daughter was almost 3 before we completely got rid of it and didn't even talk til she was a little over 2 years old. I have noticed that with her teeth the bottom 2 were always crooked and somewhat straightened out once we threw the things away. Try to get rid of the nuk by 1 or your going to have problems trying to get rid of it. My son is 16 months and we still give it to him. That has been his comfort thing so he can sleep at night. It's about the only time he uses it now though.

Don't take it from her yet. 4 months is still fine, in fact, studies show that using a pacifier at bedtime helps to greatly reduce the risk of SIDS and that SIDS is a real threat until at least 6 months of AIDS and even up till 18 months.
Let her have the pacifier, you don't have to worry about dental issues until she actually has a full set of teeth. My son is almost 8 months and still uses it at night. His dependence on it during the day has gotten smaller naturally as he has gotten older.

Both my girls had nuks as babies. I would say try only giving it to her during naps and bedtime so she doesn't get into the habit of having it all the time. We used them for sleeping until around the age of 3. A little late in age, but oh well it doesn't hurt anything as long as they don't have it all the time. Then we had the "nuky fairy" come and take their nuks and leave a present. It worked very well for us.

They say that using a pacifier is actually a great thing and helps with the risk of SIDS.

My first daughter wasn't interested in a pacifier which I wish she would have been for many reasons.

It's not a problem until they're like 2 years old and older so I wouldn't worry about it at all right now. I like to say the magical age for breaking habits is age1 because after age1 it becomes more and more of a headache to take away the pacifier, bottle, etc..

My 2nd baby is due in a few weeks from now and I'm going to try and push the pacifier I think more positives come from it than negatives. I plan to use it as a bedtime, crabby time comfort item.

my almost 5 month old loves her NUK but only likes it when she is going to sleep she can go days without it but I do not think there is a problem with infants....Now toddler ...that is an issue...it's the same as wheaning from nursing or a bottle to me....I would not worry about it until she is much older.

:D

you are doing the right thing mama! :D

the most important information that you need is this: your instincts are the ones that are right on target. your instincts are the ones that matter. your instincts are what you should be listening to. if you feel that she needs it (which technically she does) then just keep workin on that plug. besides, research shows that having a nuk while sleeping reduces the risk of sids! :D

heres the thing. babies have a strong strong strong need for sucking. its part of their natures. any strong need that doesnt get fulfilled for a baby WILL show up as an undesireable habit later.
for example, no nuk might equal thumbsucking, teeth grinding, object sucking (i know a kid who sucks her blanket ... ewe.), bottle sucking (rots teeth), etc etc etc. behavior problems too.

the thing to remember most is that even if something goes against the popular belief system of society, if YOU feel in your heart that it is something your child needs, just do it.

my story is FULL of these examples. i felt very strongly against forcing my son to cry it out. it may have seemed like it took forever, but between 15-17 months, my son started to sleep through the night better, and didnt always nurse at night every night. babies just dont sleep solid time periods. its that simple. if you think about it, neither do adults. we toss, we turn, we snore, we go to the bathroom, we get a drink... whats this myth that every single person from birth and beyond dont have 'normal' 'healthy' sleep habits unless you sleep solid from bedtime to wake time?

also, my son, husband and i did a lot of cosleeping during that time. my son was 19 months old when he self weaned, and then he didnt usually wake up and need to sleep with us anymore. he is still in his crib in our room, but he usually sleeps through until 7 am before waking up. sometimes he has a nightmare or a night terror, and thats different. but usually he stays good in his bed.

i literally do prayer and the bedtime routine, and he lays right down and goes to sleep. he has a few prayer books in his crib, and he sometimes reads them and just relaxes. but i NEVER hear him cry, he never throws a temper before bed, he never has issues with bedtime. at 22 months, a perfect sleeper is hard to fine... but look at it this way; if most parents resort to cry it out method (what is IT and where is OUT are important questions..) and most children do not sleep well, or in their own beds, or throw tempers at bedtime, or still sit and cry and scream at bedtime..... what does that tell you? something isnt working right.

but again, USE YOUR INSTINCTS. NO ONE is as connected to your child as you are. and the more you listen, and the more you respond to your baby, the more that bond grows, and the more easily it will be to understand your child as she grows! :D im telling you its the most fantastic feeling in the world when your child is getting to be that "2 year old" and you know instinctivly what she needs! usually i can peg when my son just needs to be alone for a while, and it works every time. trust yourself, dont listen to naysayers who tell you disconnecting advice that makes your heart break, listen to your heart. just nod and smile and keep doing the things that YOU feel you need to do. thats whats most important!!

write me if you ever have any questions! :D

www.askdrsears.com - william and martha sears are huge supporters of mothers (and fathers!) instincts. they have tons of information, and i highly recommend any and all of their books!

sorry if you already heard this as i didn't read all the responses, but i have heard that recent studies show that binkys help reduce SIDS.

Check it out:

http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics/babys_binky_may_...

Babies have a natural need for sucking HOWEVER that need goes away after 6 months of age. After that it is purely being used as a ''plug'' only benifiting you. You have to ask yourself a very hard question; Is the short term benifits of using it as a plug now worth it 2 yrs from now when you are trying to take it away from a 2 or 3 year old (who can fall to the floor in yelling, screaming temper tantrums?) In my personal opinion NO! I chose not to use nuks with my girls strictly because I thought it was much easier to figure out what exactly was wrong when they were crying so I could fix the problem, not tide them over with a nuk.
The sooner you take it away after 6 months the easier it will be for the both of you :)

In honesty I've been worrying about the "paci" in our house since our son was born -- he is now almost 2 and still using it. My Mom gave me some good advice (a few times) when she reminded me that our son is still LITTLE -- he uses his paci for comfort and I've come to terms with that is o.k. with me.

We did start limiting his use out of the house somewhere around 1 yr old and up until recently he was only using it at nap time and bed time. However, about a month ago (around the same time we took in my 14 yr old sister and moved) our son has started asking for it again when he is up. We've allowed him to have it -- but NEVER when we leave the house. And when he is talking to us we tell him "we can't understand with you paci in your mouth" and he'll take it out to talk.

Our son gave up his bottle all on his own when he was around 1 yr old. My husband and I are going to give him until he is 3 to give up the paci.

Good Luck -- and don't worry. Many of the "bad habits" they out grow.

At 4 months she is too young to be "attached" to the nuk. It is a comfort for them as many babies like to suck on something.
I don't remember from my oldest, but my younger 2 only got the nuk when they slept or were getting tired (youngest is 11 months and still gets at bedtime or if she gets fussy in the car).
My nephew just turned 1 the other day and any time I see him he has the nuk in his mouth and it drives me crazy. My daughter (who will be 1 next month) went over to him the other day and took it out of his mouth..it was too funny. I never hear him try to talk to babble as the nuk is always in his mouth.
It is a personal preference and I know you will get a wide variety of answers on this...

She is fine. Thats it is normal that a 4 month old wants a pacifier. I gave my son the pacifier until he was about 9 month and then I took it away. When you take it away dont do it all at once. First you should not let your child have it during the day, just for naptime and bedtime. Then after while take it away all together. It is hard but you have to do it sometime. Your basically letting your child cry herself to sleep which is fine. Just play music and shut the door. She will eventually fall asleep. I did it and now my son is now 13 months and when he sees a pacifier, he just plays with it. He doesnt even know what it is for.

-A.-

Give yourself a break! She's only 4 months old. Right now the priority should be that you are all happy and getting some sleep! I wouldn't push it if I were you. Just be happy there is something you can do that soothes her and makes her feel calm. : )

Hi,
My son was the same way and we did get frustrated. However, we let him have it. When he got old enough, we put several nuks in his crib so that he would be able to grab one in the middle of the night and put it back in himself. When he was between 18 months and 2 years we started to wean him off, giving it to him only at naptime and bedtime. The only reason we let him have it as long as we did was because we were going on a plane trip out of state and we thought for the plane and at a new place it would help him sleep. When we got back from our trip we explained to him that he was a big boy and big boys don't need nuks, and had him help us throw them away. He asked for them a few times but we just reminded them that he helped us throw them away because he was a big boy. We haven't had any issues since. It's always up to you and you know your child best, but I wouldn't worry about it yet.

Don't worry about it. Have you ever seen a 16 year old with a Nuk? :>)

Let her use it. I'd say don't worry too much until one or so. I have 4 kids, 2 who took the nuk, one who didn't, and one (4 mos) who currently is. I was so glad when my son voluntarily gave his up at 4 mos because of the difficulty of taking it away from my daughters, but then at 5 months he found his thumb and at 2 1/2 it is a HUGE struggle to get him to stop! (You can't take the thumb away or cut off the tip or any of the things you do to break them of the nuk.) So, I'd much rather have my 4th attached to a nuk than her thumb. For future reference, we started taking it away around a year by limiting it to bed only. We'd say bye-bye to it in the morning and leave it in the crib and if, for some reason, they wanted it during the day they'd have to sit in their crib, no toys or anything. Eventually they'd get bored and want to get out and play. If they still used it at bedtime we completely took it away around 2. There were some tears at bedtime at first, but it didn't take long and everyone survived!

Hi S.,
The nuk is a great soother so it is nice to have. However, be warned that getting rid of the nuk later can be a really difficult thing.

1) Don't let the nuk become a habit to help her fall asleep. Otherwise she won't learn to put herself to sleep and will rely on other things, like the nuk. Believe me, you'll pay for this later by getting up numerous times during the night to find the lost nuk in the crib and you don't want that!
2) Definitely limit the nuk to the crib only if you're going to lose it. My daughter wouldn't go anywhere without a nuk in her mouth. We had to have several nuks because she'd put it down somewhere and if we couldn't find it and then the crying and whining would start. I finally got rid of them (another story on how we did it) because I couldn't stand the stress of finding nuks all day and the whining in between.

Much better to just not have them, but it is nice for the young babies. Just don't let it continue past 1. Find her another lovey or soother.

K.

if she is only whining, I personally wouldnt go in to put it back in her mouth as she will get used to you doing that...if she is full out crying and nothing else is working, then give her the nuk...it is natural that babies this young want something to suck on.

i wouldnt worry about her getting attached. my son is a nuk baby to and i would go put it in his mouth at nite at that age if i knew he wanted it. as he got older i let him cry it out a couple nites and he started being ok when he lost it during the nite. he is now 13 months and needs it to fall asleep with but is ok during the nite without it and doesnt have it hardly at all during the day. i would just keep giving it to her when she needs it. the sucking is very comforting for babies.

People get so crazy with this subject. No I wouldn't worry about it one bit. She is using it for comfort because you are not there. If she needs it then what is the problem. Nothing. When she is older you can reason with her and find a way to get her to go without it. With my daughter who is 1 still uses her nuk. At night we put 3 or 4 in her crib with her so if she loses the one she went to bed with she finds another and puts herself back to sleep. I know that your daughter is still to young to do that so if it takes a minute t get up and give it back to her, then do it for awhile longer till she can do it herself. Just remember it makes her feel safe when you are not there and she enjoys it so I don't see any problem. Good luck.

S., some kids give up the nuks on there own (my son was done with it before he was one). Others need it eventually taken away lovingly (my daughter would have NEVER parted with it!) Don't worry about it until they are older than two. You can always set up guidelines if it becomes a nuisance. Like with my daughter, around the age of 1, we made sure that the Nuks were ONLY in bed. That was fine with her and she actually looked forward to bed. :-)

My daughter used her nuk until she was one years old. She loved her nuk. At one, we said she had to be in bed to use the nuk, and let that go for a while. We got rid of it all together at about two, and just told her it was gone. It really wasn't a big deal.