Unexpected Pregnacy at 41 - Santee,CA

my first reaction: YIKES!
second reaction: find someone nearby to give you a hug and talk to. friend, family member, clergy, stranger in the coffee shop :)
Take a deep breath and make the decision that is right FOR YOU!

You have so much with which to deal! Perhaps counseling would help you sort out all those feelings so that you can make a decisions with which you're comfortable. I think Planned Parenthood provides counseling for pregnancy related issues. They may provide for abortions but I think that they will also help with keeping a pregnancy.

I've seen a sign for Pregnancy Center here in Portland. You may have such an organization there. They help with all pregnancy issues.

Please consider adoption. I sit here and cry as I read this. I am 42 and still hope that I will miraculously end up pregnant one day soon, although most hope is lost as I am getting too old. My husband and I adopted a beautiful baby girl from the hospital 4 1/2 years ago (we are not able to get pregnant) and she is the most precious thing that has ever happened to us. The 16-year-old birth mother made the very mature and selfless decision to put her baby up for adoption instead of terminating her pregnancy and it was a dream come true for us.
I am very sorry for your situation -- I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you to have to deal with this alone being separated from your husband and all. I hope you have family and/or friends to support you through this.
My heart goes out to you.

So long as you are otherwise healthy, your age should not be much of a concern during the pregnancy. I'm sorry for the stress you are under, this is a big decision and a huge life event. Take a look at your whole support network and evaluate how the 6th child will affect you and your other kids. You will make the right decision that works for all of you. I'm sure you already have a lot of support since you have both a 2 year old and a teenager, just don't pass too much of the burden off onto your older kids. Best wishes

Wow! That is a lot on your plate! Please don't terminate this little one. Have six children. My fourth and fifth died before they were born. I held their little bodies in my hands and I know that the only thing that would have made that experience harder is to know that I caused there deaths. I know you will regret it! I am now 42 and my youngest is 1year. She has brought so much joy to our family. Congratulations on the new life inside you! As hard as it all seems right now, it will get better. I will guarantee it! If you don't think you can handle one more little one, send that baby out to me. I will have you in my prayers!!

Well lets address the really bug elephant in the room have you spoken to your husband about being preggers? how far along are you? have you thought about adoption? that could be a wonderful gift. please dont freak out you have options. big hug and smile.

Wow, I can understand why you are feeling a bit overwhelmed, but don't worry. I'm 1 of 6 and as my mom always tells it, if you can handle 4, you can handle 5, and after that...what's a sixth one? You are lucky to have older children that will be able to help you with the baby. It will be hard though, having a child amidst a divorce, but you can do it. Or, maybe this is something to bring you back together. Whichever path you choose, don't worry too much because you'll pick the one that is best for you and your kids, for sure. Best wishes to you and your new addition.

Wow, I can see why you would be a bundle of emotions that is a lot going on for you right now. Just to reassure you, your age should not be a factor (I've been pg in my 40's) assuming your other pregnancies went smoothly. Good luck to you.

I had my 6th at age 39. It was my best pregnancy. I can't imagine life without her! She's such a gift to us. i want to encourage you in that. I'm sorry about your relationship with your husband. Is there any way you can reconcile? Obviously, it is complicated if you two would separate with 5 children. Do you have a church? Focus on your baby and taking care of you and him/her. These hard days will pass, and one day you will look back and will be so thankful for your child. God knew what you needed right when you needed it. He always does, and He never makes mistakes. Blessings.

It will be okay!! You have 5 kids so I am sure you are a great mom!! And you have lots of them around to help!! It will be okay!! You wouldn't be pregnant if God hadn't planned for you to have a 6th baby :o). Congratulations mama!!

I was pregnant at 40!!! You will be just fine. You have a lot going on with all your children. Your youngest is 2 and one on the way! You should be a pro at this. LOL! My son is my joy in life!

Get some counseling to help you. I wish you luck and happy times!

Girl, you have 5 kids, so one more...no problem! Especially since the youngest is 2. I'm 43 and my youngest is almost 8. If I had another, I think that's too much of a gap and too much "starting over". You can do this!!! I'm sorry to hear of the separation but you were already set to be a single mom of 5 kids, just add one more to the mix. Of course this is easy for ME to say, but I think its a huge blessing and you will be fine. One day at a time and set up lots of support. I'm sending you best wishes!!!

If you have considered terminating the pregnancy perhaps you want to get some counseling about it. It is an option. Only you can decide what is best for you and your family. I have children and I have also terminated a pregnancy. I am completely 100% absolutely certain it was the best option for me. I stand by it and by anyone else's choice to make that descision for themselves.

oh sister. That's pretty serious. I cried for the 1st 6 mos when I found out I was pregnant late in life. When I found out I was pregnant AGAIN 2 months after giving birth - I ate for the next 6 months! But life is messy. This little blessing is going to bring you so much joy and sunshine. And it'll be your 2yr olds best buddy. They'll keep each other occupied. Work it like the Von Trapp family - each kid is in charge of the one just below them. And maybe this is your sign not to give up on the marriage. It seems like maybe yall got along at least for a little while recently. :)

You answered your own question when you said support needed. Find real solid support- get a counselor and let a professional support you and help you figure out what to do. Tell your best friends and closest family that you need them and let them help you. Goodluck.

I am sorry for the situation that you are in but think about it positively and try to talk to your good friends and family. I think talking it out will help you get the support that you need.

I agree with some of the posters on here about adoption. But I am sure once you see the face of your beautiful newborn you will not want to give him or her up. I think this is all very new and fresh and I am sure a couple months down the line you will realize that you do want to keep this child for yourself because it is another blessing from God. He will not give you more than you can handle.

Just wanted to offer you support during this challenging time of separating from your husband. I am sure you will make the best decision for you and your family. Just remember to breath and pray.

Warmly,

A.

I am sorry for the stress that you are under right now.
Talk to your husband, he needs to know.
Try to relax. Pray. God is with you.

wow...well one day i think you'll look back at this time in your life and think i'm so glad i didn't terminate my child..you may have days when you think..my god what have i done why did i do this??? but then you know probably better than anyone what gift each child is. Also..i had my son at 41..i'm now 45..in the best shape of my life b/c i'm always on the go..and i got into exercise b/c of having him..i wanted to make sure i stay strong and healthy..had an easy pregnancy and didn't even feel my contractions..i did however have a C sec b/c he was so big..but big babies run on my father's side..
anyway..you'll be fine you may find that life is sometimes easier w/out some guy around giving you more chores to do!

xo

D.

Hello K., I can imagine how overwhelmed you must feel! Being pregnant under normal circumstances is stressful much less when seperated and already having a full family. May I encourage you to get some helP? There are churches that offer counseling like the Calvary Chapels and also sliding scale therapy centers. This is a life that was conceived by 2 and it would be best in my opinion, for you to make the decision together about your next steps...maybe the therapist can help you put your relationship back on track as well. I know that it may seem hopeless right now but God is a God of MIRACLES and if you allow him He will direct your path and give you peace. I will pray for your family, that the Lord would heal your broken heart and put your husband back where he belongs...there supporting you and his children! Bless you!!! Keep us posted!

Your other kids will help out when the baby arrives. I'm not sure what the situation between you and your husband is, but if there is any possibility of you two working out whatever problem you had and getting back together he will help out as well. Good luck!