Underage Facebook Users

I would have no issues with it. I have my friends daughter on my friends list and she is 10. I enjoy seeing how she is doing in school and sports.

I have a 16, 15 and 10 year old on FB. I have all of their passwords. I am constantly monitoring. No one has ever posted or messaged my daughters that were not their friends. There are so many risks, like walking to the playground for example. I am confident that i am doing the right thing. If there was any trouble, i would know. FB is no more dangerous than many other things in life. My kids get to talk to tons of family and friends. They see friends and family in other countries and share videos with them. I feel that it is an asset, used in a closely monitored situation. To each their own :)

I've said this on here many, many times. Just TRY and get facebook to take down an account when they are under age. They have links for reporting it. They do NOTHING.

When you've been through several teenagers, you learn that there are things worth fighting for. It's all about picking battles. If my kid didn't homeschool with her computer, I'd just take the computer away. But I'm not fighting about it with her. Instead, I can get on her account any time I want and I do. I delete people I don't know or content I don't like.

Facebook's 13 & up rule is to protect *them* from libalility of any content parents don't like, not to protect children under 13 from bad content. Therefore, in my opinion, it's a stupid rule to follow ...because one 13 year old may have the mentality of an 8 year old, while another has the maturity of a 16 year old. The only people who are going to know that are the parents, so I think it should be their decision to let their kids on Facebook whenever they please.

Um.. Because they can? Just like you have made the decision to prevent your kids from having it some parents have decided to allow it. This is really a rant and not a question. You don't want people to tell you why they allow it, you just want them to know that you dislike it.

My daughter was on it at 12. Oh my I broke the rules. Sometimes I speed when driving too.

My daughter's cousins (from Florida, Georgia and Iowa) were on it and all teens. So were her birthmother, grandparents, aunts and uncles. So I set her up on it (security settings checked and double checked) so she could be a part of that -- since she was the youngest.

She was fine. There might be a lot of negative factors with facebook, but there sure were a lot of positive ones for us. She's 14 now and still has never had a problem. Some people's kids can handle it -- some cannot. To each his/her own.

My kids are too young (4 and 5) but for me, I'll let them on fb when they want to. Sorry but 13 year olds do not have some epiphany where they suddenly have good judgment and make great choices compared to an 11 or 12 year old. Every kid is different. And it's up to people's parents to decide right and wrong for their kids. I'll also let my girls have cell phones young.
I was given alot of freedom as a kid. I was a very good kid - I never did drugs or got drunk. I had plenty of friends who were raised very strict and were beyond the beyond...
Not saying it's always like that on either side of the coin. Just saying it as a comment.
Anyways, that's my opinion.

I agree with you, M. B. My son, now 14, wanted a facebook page when he was younger, and most of his friends had facebook pages when they were 11 or 12. I told him it was against the rules, and he had no need for one, period. That was the end of the discussion until he turned 13.

A few months after he turned 13, we revisited the question of him getting a facebook page, and decided he would be allowed to create a page. My husband and I have complete access to his account. We made sure he didn't put any personal information on it (originally he had his phone number listed, but we made him remove it), and we have his password. He is a very good kid, but I teach high school. I'm not naive. Even good kids make bad decisions from time to time. I check his facebook page periodically just to see what's going on. He talks to me freely, so there haven't been any surprises so far, and I am open about checking it. He knows that I check it. I'm not sneaking around.

The main problem I have with younger kids having accounts is that they are blatantly breaking the rules. Rules are there for a reason, and I don't want to send my children the message that it's alright to break some rules, but not others. I want them to follow all rules. If a rule is stupid, then it needs to be changed, not broken.

Well then, I guess YOU told US, huh?!

;)

Well...

They either create one with your supervision, knowing, and monitoring. OR, they create one behind your back. Then, you have no way of knowing the content. I think that's a lot of parent's thinking. I'm not defending that reasoning, or standing against that reasoning. I can understand it, though.

First, the policy is only in place for Facebook to avoid FTC rules on collecting information on children under age 13 via the internet without parental consent. So when a "rule" is put in place for a company to save money on authentication procedures to comply with an arbitrary guideline, I take it with a grain of salt.

My oldest kids were on Facebook at 13 and a few months shy of 13. My younger kids are years and years away from it. For the older kids, it was a big deal at first and then after a couple of months, the novelty wore off and they're hardly ever on it.

I don't think that allowing a 12 year old to use FB is a big deal if he or she is responsible and level-headed about it, can avoid drama, ignore ridiculous people, etc. It goes without saying that parents need to have their children's log in information and password and check regularly (as in daily) to stay on top of things, delete offensive posts, etc. My kids know that if they post anything inappropriate (either publicly or via message) they will lose the privilege of using FB, among other things. I also expect them to delete offensive things that their friends post directly on their walls, which has happened only once.

My kids know why the rule is in place and why I was OK with ignoring it. You know, critical thinking and all that. That said, clearly this is not the appropriate forum for all adolescents and those who can't conduct themselves appropriately should definitely not be on, regardless of their age but especially if they are younger than 13.

I made my son wait until 13 (and the ONLY reason was because of FB's "policy", which I actually think is ridiculous), but truthfully, I'll probably let my daughters (11 and 9) get on FB when they ask to. They haven't asked yet, they couldn't care less at this point. But as soon as they want one, they can have one. Like with my son, I'll insist on having their passwords, I will friend them, I will set up all their privacy and security settings and I will monitor every move they make, until they learn to safely navigate it themselves. I will ask about every person that "friends" them and about every person they want to "friend". And that is non-negotiable.

This is our reality, this is how our kids will communicate, the sooner they learn the ins and outs the better. I'd hate for my kids to, all of a sudden, have an FB page and be clueless about how to deal with it. Start young under your strict supervision, then slowly release the reins as they get older and more mature. Teach them about the online pitfalls, about how EVERYTHING they ever post can come back to haunt them for decades, and by the time they're teens and older, they should be well-versed in FB, and other social networking site, protocols.

My 10 year old has one. She is 'friends' with her grandmas, grandpas, aunts,uncles me and her dad and sis and all the other 10 year old friends of the 'bad' parents who 'broke' the rules and got the 'evil' fb before 13. Sorry I respect your decision to wait per fb rules but really. It is today's technology and I like she can share pics etc with her grandparents etc. Also if your seeing 13 year olds pages the parents do not have the security settings set or ther child has set one up without their knowledge. My daughter did come to me and ask I thought about it and she does have an older sister so I made that call to let her go ahead and have one. I agree with the other posters monitering is the key and again a lot of it is for our relatives. So if you chose not to let your children have one until the age of 13 that is your choice. I've chosen to let them be on based on their maturity.

my daughter has one at age 12 (she got it last year) because i believe she is mature enough to handle it. it could have been the other way around and her be 16 and stillnot allowed to have one because i didnt think she was mature enough to have one. my friend has one for her son who is 5 because she wants him to have a place for his relatives from other states to be able to interact with him. although at this age she sits him in her lap and they loook together..he certainly doesnt get on by himself and type to "friends".
you dont have to lie when you sign up just leave out the age part.
yes the rules say 13 but i think that is just a guidline andto save their butts. they can do anything else online and it wont matter.
another thing i think about as far as safety is letting my kid go to school, get in a car, cross the street, ride their bikes around the block. all dangerous and can cause physical harm even death but i let them...because i think they are mature enough or because the law makes me. we take risks everday and calculate them in our heads as to how safe our kids would be in each situation. i dont think statistically this ranks up there as a real no no.

I know of kids 4 and 5 that have them. They go on and play games. The do not use them as a social set up. They do not even have the ability to try and friend anyone. No one can find them, they are hidden from search until they are 18. I have no issue with it.

I do think each and every parent has the right to make that choice. It is no one else's business.

I can pretty much garanutee each of you here that your kids have figured out how to make up an alter email account and know how to make a FB account with a fake age. I would much rather know about it and be able to monitor it than to not even have a clue.

I bet about half of your kids have them and you don't even know.

I think people allow it b/c everyone seems to have this notion that being on FB is COOL and having loads of friends on FB is COOL. I don't know why people are so obsessed with their kids being cool and popular and don't seem to care if their kids are smart or well-adjusted or safe for that matter. But what's to be expected in a society where we can name every member of the Kardashian clan but can't list who the heads of state are! I agree with you, children under 13 should not be on FB. How many kids have to get cyber-bullied and commit suicide before we realize that this is not an appropriate forum for people with immature sensibilities? I have to say 1/2 of the adults on there aren't mature enough for it let alone children!!!! Too much drama! As for security, FBs security is a joke. My husband is an IT guy and he insisted I stop posting pics of our kids. I argued that I had my settings set to "friends only" and he showed me just how easy it is to hack into people's accounts. Every time you hit "allow" for anything, you open up a back door to your account! No one should count on FBs security for anything! People should remember that the reason FB is free yet they make millions of $$$s is b/c they sell advertising and how do they do that? They collect info about you and sell catered advertising that they think will pinpoint your interests! I'm not being a FB hater - my husband has FB as do I. It can be a useful way to keep in touch and it can be fun. We also allow our 15 yo to have an account but we monitor it and he is not allowed to post ANY info that could allow someone to figure out where he lives, etc. His birthdate, state, etc. are all made up on his account. Again, not a hater just believe that FB, and all similar technology, should be used appropriately for an appropriate age level.

I have no clue. My friends daughter just turned 13 and shes had one for years.
I would rather not be "friends" on facebook with my friends children. I think its weird.
My kids wont have one at that age.

I asked a similar question a few months ago. About half the people answered that they would let their child, and the other half not. I will NOT let my kids until they are at least 13. First of all, FB is addictive and a major time-suck. There are so many better things they could be doing with their time. Secondly, whether you agree with FB's age limit of 13 or not, that is their rule. What is it teaching your kids when you let them lie about their age to create an account? As minor as it may seem to you, kids see it as a message that it's ok to break the rules when you don't agree with them. Then the next time you tell them they have to follow someone's rules or policies, they'll say you didn't make me follow the FB rule so why should I follow this rule?

My daughter is 3 and I don't post her face (and generally things like putting gloves on her feet and the picture is feet only). I ask others to remove her from their albums. I do this because she's 3 and until she decides how she wants to handle her privacy, I do it for her. Once it's online, you can't take it back. I shake my head at people whose little kids have their own accounts.

I do know people who are not into the online thing and that's a line I want to respect. My SD got an email address at 11 and she got into FB at 14 or 15. I think that be it Facebook or something else (and you do know that FB is going to sell your info, right? If they haven't already....) putting it in the hands of someone too young to know what they don't know is dangerous and not monitoring them closely is even worse. YOU need to be informed, even if they are "ready" and of age. SD had things public that she shouldn't, like her grade level and school.

If my DD ever comes to me and says, "Well, SD had a cell phone at 10" I'd tell her that I didn't buy it and SD didn't need it. "Everyone else" isn't true.

This is a sensitive subject in my house! lol I caught my step daughter with an unapproved facebook acount last year, and not only is the account closed, she still hasn't got her netbook back! Yes, I took away a Christmas present, and as long as I have a say, she won't get it back until she can prove some maturity. She was given it with the stipulation that she had to prove to her father and I that she was mature enough to use it correctly, and we specifically told her that we would discuss helping her set up an account in a few months. She turned 13 last March, and I found the account in April, whild Dad was on a business trip. She still doesn't think she did anything wrong because she waited until she was 13. She doesn't understand that she got in trouble because she didn't wait for permission. She didn't even ask again when she turned 13, she just set one up on her own, with absolutely NO security settings. The crappy part was that we had decided that when Dad got home from his business trip, he would set one up for her, because we were so pleased with how mature she had been lately! So, needless to say I am definately the wicked step mother in this case, but I'm ok with that! My job as a parent is to keep my kids safe, healthy, and happy. As long as they are the first two, the third will come with time!

I could have written this. My daughters friends all have one, my daughter is 9!!!i am NOT a fan of allowing very adult things for Tweens. I'm also not going to let her watch slasher flicks with a beer.

When I was 13 and the internet was in its infancy I still found a way to chat with guys I didn't know online. Some of my friends met dates this way as early as 15.

The only way I could see allowing the kids to have a Facebook page before they were 13 is to keep track and in touch with family. (We live over 1500 miles away from the nearest family and halfway across the globe from the farthest.)

However, in this family, hubby won't let the kids have a Facebook page until they move out. (We disagree on this one.)

unlike a lot of moms, i'm glad FB is thinking about kids enough to have a policy in place. clearly it's not their call to decide at *exactly* what age a child can handle the responsibilities of having their information in a public sphere so like all big public institutions, they go with a median that makes sense.
i'm with M. B in being very taken aback at how many parents cavalierly break the rules, but then, i'm often taken aback at how casually most people lie.
if i had a 12 year old, i'd discuss with her the reasons for the FB age rule, and she and i together would decide if she was mature enough to bend the rule to that degree. but littles? no way.
FB is a great tool for me, and even i get sucked into it too much. i think it has extremely damaging potential and no way would i like a young child into that world.
i think some rules are stupid and i break some. but i don't do it just because 'rules are meant to be broken'. society would break down very quickly without rules and i respect them. i ONLY break them if i understand them thoroughly enough to break them properly.
breaking the rules to let little kids on FB isn't good enough for me.
khairete
S.

Even if I was a friend to my nieces, I wouldn't want them to see some of my comments and connections, which are certainly adult. So even if I'm good TO her, my FB profile may not be good FOR her.

And I have two little boys but live an adult life (as in, I do adult things). They are too young for FB, but I really hope it won't be for a long time.

My sister would NOT let her daughter have a fb page until the day of her 13 birthday. Not a day before. There are things she still does not need to see. My usband has a lot of people that put bad things on his page, like jokes or links. He decided to unfriend her so she would not be exposed to this.

Frankly, I feel that 13 is too young-I think 18 is a better age-and 25-even better.

Got your point. I don't understand it too. But I think the reason why is that these parents don't consider FaceBook as harmful to their kids. I mean they trust their little ones not to visit sites/pages inappropriate for their age.

My kids don't have them and won't just yet, but I think it's stupid to wait until the 13th birthday to have one. Does something magical change between 12 years and 364 days and 13 years? No. Rules are meant to be broken...

People may not like what I do with my kids anymore than I like what they do with their kids, but I try not to be judgemental about it.

If it isn't your kid, why do you care?

There clearly is NO one magic age that social networking is appropriate for.

As in all parenting decisions, it is the responsibility of the parent to monitor and ensure that the computer is being used for it's intended purpose.

And it is parents responsibility to enforce age appropriate consequences.

And this is to me the biggest disconnect and break down... that kids are typically allowed a little freedom and they don't have the maturity to back out of tempting (peer pressure) situations and it grows into something way bigger. This phenomena can happen anywhere, anytime. Not just on FB.

I've heard about more smut and chaos happening from college and 20 something people than from teens.

The issue is to stay involved....and sadly, we have a society of stressed out parents, both parents working, both parents divorced, both remarried, living with grandparents who have not a clue over their savvy computer generation teens, etc.

My daughter was mature enough to handle social networking pages before her thirteenth birthday and I allowed her to have one. I allowed her to see R-rated movies before she was 17. Age minimums for a lot of things are guidelines, and some kids fall outside those guidelines, either being mature enough at a younger age, or not mature enough even at an older age.