Undecided About Having Another Child

This post must have just worked it's way back up because I didn't see it when I was just posting the same type of topic. Thanks for mentioning this specific point, because it was the same thing that I have been feling guilty about thinking!

You will love the second as much as the first. I have 2 girls that are 3 1/4 years apart. I can't imagine life without either one. Besides, this way each parent has a child when you go anywhere.

I have a friend who is 32. She has a 13 & 15 year old. She always wanted another child and never had one, so she is trying to talk DH into having another one NOW! If you want another child and do not follow through, you may never lose that feeling.
Your heart does grow bigger for a baby! Thats why God gives us 9(well, 10) months to prepare. Talk to moms with multiples! They will tell you.
Good luck!!!
~S

As a mother of 4 I couldn't agree with the other Moms more! Have you heard the term "a mother's heart"? It is amazing how much I love each of my children and despite their varied personalities it does not matter. A mother's heart is endless

I know I am a little biased since I have 4 children, but I say go for it. Each of my children have brought something new to my life and helped me to grow and learn even more. Children are truly a blessing! As with anything, you cannot accept and enjoy your blessing if you have a heart filled with fear, so you must be comfortable with the decision you make.

May you and your family be blessed!
A.

My husband and I have been married 10 years this year. It took me 7 years to have my son so he is the world to me, everything revolves around him... It took me soooooo long to get pregnant that when I found out that I was having a baby my world changed... Nobody knows how much love I have for this child...But then I found out I was pregnant again when he was a little over 2 years old, we didn't plan it, I thought it took me so long to have him that I would never get pregnant again... But I did... and I was afraid of the same thing, did I have enough love for 2 children???? I was worried about it all the way until the day that my beautiful princess was born, I have just as much love for her.... It is different because you don't have the same kind of time for the second one but trust me she is not lacking anything it's just you spend so much time with the first one that you kind of feel like your second one doesn't get as much attention but they do.... There is always a special place in your heart for your first but there is lots of room for another.... I say go for it.... It's the best having them both in the house.... They are both perfect and I now have the perfect family My son and my daughter the light of my life...
Good luck..

I am the mother of 2 wonderful children a 3 year old son and a 10 month old daughter, and my wonderful husband...

i had the same feelings but now that i have 3 you wouldn't believe how much love you have to give. as soon as you hold your newborn baby for the first time you'll have the same love as you did with your first. right now would be a good age difference between them and they will have a great relationship and bond. i love watching how my two youngest play together and take care of each other. its a wonderful age.

HI B.,
The thought that you are even open to having another child should let you know that it will be okay. I thought the same thing about having a second child as you. When my son came along I realized that my love had grown even more for my daughter and I was so happy to have given her the gift of a baby brother. My children are ages 3 and 6 now and there is nothing better in this world than watching them play and laugh together. Before I had any kids I had my cat and I was so scared that I would not be able to love my daughter as much as my cat(silly me)> The first night my daughter came home I had to kick the cat out of the bed. My cat still holds a grudge.
I hope this helps you with your decision.
Good Luck, Kat

Hi B.! I am a 32 year old mother of a 4yr old boy and a 2 1/2 yr old girl. I got pregnant with my daughter when my son turned 1. I had the same concerns as you but believe me, I love my daughter just as much as my son. For us, she made our family feel complete. The two of the them have developed such a strong bond, it's awesome to watch. They are like two peas in a pod. We can't imagine life without her and it wasn't too long ago that we couldn't imagine being able to love another child as much as we love Zach. Don't worry, it just comes natural. Good luck in whatever you decide.

Hi B. - oh how I relate!!!! I thought the same thing when my son was born - he was a long awaited and much wanted child - it took me 10 years, 2 miscarriages, surgery, six month of a low-grade chemo drug - and that was just to GET pregnant. So after he was born - He was my LIFE - my life revolved around him and only him... then I found out 2 1/2 years later - I was pregnant again, and that was my first thought - how can I love anyone else as much as I love my son??? But you know what - when you hold that next baby in your arms - look into his/her eyes - that love you feel for your son... you feel for your new child - it's just as strong - and it is amazing to realize that you can and do and WILL love any subsequent child - just as equally... it just happens... part of the miracle of life I believe. Good luck and let us know what you do!!!

Yes you can love another child. My next door neighbor is living proof. Her children are 1 yr 10 months apart and the girls play so well together. And neither one has had any issues of not getting enough love from either parent. I'm kind of jealous since I only have 1 child (20 months) and no sibling for my son to play with. We're hoping for another very soon. I'm 37 so it needs to happen soon.

Hello B.,

I felt the same way you did .I had my first Baby ( Surprise) when I was 26 , my second @ 30 ( Planned) !!!! You fall in love all over again with your second child !!! You love them both so much , You need to prepare your first child ( his 21 months old thought) let him know there would be a new baby on the way tell him that this would be his baby Brother or Sister whom is going to be his bestfriend forever and let him know they most love each other unconditional like mom & dad love him ( I want my boys to be very close) I have a brother and we are not as close though. My son was 4 years old when his baby brother was born . He adores his Baby Brother !!they hug & Kiss each other all the time ( They fight for the same Toy , though)That is when I sit and talk to them and explain to them they should not fight !!!!!! You need lots of patience ( that I could tell you ) B. I wish you best of luck , don't think about it soooo much and go for it , that is something you won't regret !!!!

~ A.

PS: Make sure they grow-up loving each other !!!!!

I have 2 children a boy and a girl. They have two completely different personalities, I think that you appreciate their differences and love them for their individuality. I also think it's good for children to have siblings, they learn to share and tolerate others before they go to school.

My husbands exact words on this subject are "what happens when the most beautiful thing in the world becomes older sister to the most beautiful thing in the world?" His mom responded to him was. "Nothing happens. You treat them the same. Girl or boy. There is nothing like the love your children show you. It's the same love you get from your mate."

The one thing I found hard was the attention my older child was so use to I was unable to give. it mad me sad and I cried. But we have all adjusted to the new little one. And everything is 100%

After I had my only child, my husband I had this discussion. Then i was talking to my sister in law, she explained it so well " you will not believe how much your heart grows Larger, it is does not divided the love between more than 1 kid, you will feel the same way about the 2nd as the 1st, and your heart will hold it all".

If the only thing you are worried about is loving the other child--then you have no worries! Just like you automatically loved your first child, you will love you second child too--the love comes regardless. I know it seems impossible, but you will have that much more love in your life with a second child and a sibling for you son to love!
Go for it!!

As the mother of four, I can honestly say that there is plenty of love for both kids. You won't love one more than another, just differently. I wondered the same thing when I got pregnant with my second child. My oldest was 10 at the time already, and I wondered how I could love another child as much as I love him. Trust me, it's no problem. I love all four of mine equally, just differently and for different reasons.

Good Luck!

H.
www.theflutterbyshoppe.com

Other Moms have responded about having more than enough love to share... I think that that will be the case.
I am 37 with an 18 month old, expecting my second child. I forgot how tiring the first trimester was! (Of course, this stage, like many others, will soon pass.) This time, no napping after I get home from work. You may want to keep that in mind, only because I see you're still in school and working. Maybe it would be feasible to wait until you've finished school? Just a thought.
I was the first of three children and I never felt jealous or that there wan't enough love to go around.
Good luck in your decision.

DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Our son was 5 months old when I got pregnant again. (by mistake) at first I wanted to shoot myself. I thought about...money...just getting to sleep..jipping my first son out of my attention...going back to work..everything you could imagine. After I got used to the fact that he was coming..I was so excited about bringing another amazing little life into this world. Everything worked out. We eat bbj everynight, just kidding, but we are making it work. Now my little one is 5 months old...we are sleeping and all playing together. It is SOOOOOO much fun. Besides, get it over with. Do you really want to do it all over agin when your little one is 5? Good luck!!!

i cried when i was pregnant the second time, because i didnt understand how i could love it as much as the first. It was like PRE partum depression, lol. I dunno....but you do love it as much without losing the love for your 1st. Its crazy, but its nature! Go for it!

I'm with the other moms, have another child. You'll be surprised how much love you have and how happy you'll be to see how much your children will love each other.

It took us over 3 years to finally get pregnant with my first son then he was born 3 months premature. It was very trying and my husband and I were so attached to our first son that we were not sure we would be able to have that same bond with a second child. But I got pregnant, with no medical help, the second time and he was born only 3 weeks early. And it's a completely different bond with my second son.

Our sons are only 27 months apart and they love each other so much. Our first son is very protective of his little brother and our second son always lights up when he sees his older brother. Every morning when my older son wakes up, he goes to his little brother's crib and says "I missed you". I see that and know that I would do anything to make my first son happy and giving him a sibling made him very happy.

I felt the SAME WAY!!! how am I going to love a 2nd child as much as the 1st??? well obviously millions of people with more than one child do it, so i figured i would be able to as well! my son is 16 months old and I am due to have my daughter any day now!!!! It just depends on what is right for your family...I really wanted him to have a sibling, someone to play with, grow up with, fight with :)