We came home today right around dinner. A boy across the street was outside. My son asked him if he wanted to come over (he yelled across the street!) I was about to say no because it was time for me to get dinner ready, but I was so happy that my son asked another kid to play! He usually does not do this that I thought playing for 20 mins or so would not hurt. The boy came over and I let them play out in the front yard by themselves, checking on them from the window every 2 minutes or so. The boys are both 8. I don't usually let my son play in the front yard by himself but this boy is outside in his yard by himself all the time and I did not want to crowd them. What started out as playing snow balls ended up with them throwing snow balls at passing cars!! I told my husband and he went out and told them that this was not acceptable. But right after that the Dad of this boy came out yelling at him to come home. We have never had this boy over before. I met his parents once at school, briefly. I was surprised they let him come to my yard without talking to me first, but I feel I tend to be overprotective and they are not! I feel weird about this situation now. Mad at my son. Wondering what these parents are thinking! My son said it was the other boys idea and I do believe him, but not happy that he went along with it. I guess I'm wondering what to do next?!
They were probably doing the EXACT same thing you guys were doing, and are fretting over the exact same things. :)
I don't understand why you think this was a bad experience. What happened is to be expected when boys get together. And it's good that they were playing together.
If you're thinking it was the other boy's idea, I suggest you rethink that. Yes, he may have said, let's throw snow balls. Normal words from a normal kid. Doesn't make the experience bad. Makes it a learning experience for all involved.
If you want your son to play with the neighbor boy, then get to know his parents and talk about your expectations or rules. I suspect you'll find that his parents are just as concerned about the safety of their son as you are but probably has a different ideas of how to do that. I see nothing wrong with him playing in the front yard. If that's not for your son then don't let him play in the front yard.
If you knew the parents, you could suggest that they play in the back yard and then give the father a call and tell him where his son is. That happens in my neighborhood.
Sounds pretty unremarkable. Now that your son knows, I suspect he will not throw snowballs at cars again. What is incredibly obvious to adults who drive is NOT automatically obvious to kids. My son has played outside in our yard by himself since he was about 4-1/2. I don't see the problem.
Well first off stop being naive. Your son blamed it on the other boy, and the other boy probably blamed it on your son. You are acting like the neighbor boy was the bad one. They were both in the wrong. If a cop came up to them, they'd both be in the same amount of trouble, equal punishment for equal behavior, so your son is not better than him. You are just more protective than the other parent, and that is not a bad thing. But boys will be boys, and they like to do stuff like that. Next time he comes over, just supervise them outside instead of looking at them out the window. Obviously that wasn't enough to really keep an eye on them.
I'm with Riley, also.
And would add, that you might want to go over and introduce yourself sometime soon. Not specifically to discuss the snowball stuff necessarily, just a "hey... wanted to stop over for a second and make sure you were okay with the boys being out front unsupervised. Wasn't sure you knew ____ (their son's name) was over at our place."
It will probably turn into a nice little chat. Maybe exchange phone numbers or something so that if your son is over there you can call if you need him home, and vice versa.
Also agree with Dana K: 8 yr old boys do NOT consider any other perspective than "Hey! I bet I can hit the next car that comes down the street".... They probably won't do it again any time soon, now that it has been pointed out that it is a big fat NO NO. But boys BOND over stuff like that!
I don't think you should worry about it too much. I would reprimand my son if he and a friend threw snowballs at a car also. And I would explain to him why he should not do that. But I can totally see that happening. My son is about the same age as yours. When 2 boys get together sometimes they both seem to ramp each other up. That is so nice you have a boy the same age across the street - hopefully they will be able to play together often and become good friends. My son plays with all the neighbor kids. If we know the parents well he can go to their house and those boys come to our house. Otherwise they all play outside together. They all have a blast riding bikes and scooters (in the summer), playing basketball or baseball. In the winter they sled together on a hill right across the street from our house. Often we have a couple kids over at our house to play in our yard with our son. I know most of the parents but for two kids I have never officially met their parents, and have only seen them in passing. Maybe you will become good friends with this family over time. :)
They may be the type to not care as long as they can see him, or maybe he wasn't supposed to be across the street, either.
I would try again, with parameters. If you would rather they play in the backyard or you think the parents didn't know, have him go home and ask or hand him the phone and have him call home real quick.
And, though kids will be stupid, I'm glad that your DH told them to stop and see if it happens again. It could be a one-off or it could be a pattern you don't like.
Kids throwing snowballs at cars is a fairly common thing. Simply explain to your son why this is not a good idea. The could scare the driver and cause an accident or do damage to the car ect. Maybe the other dad saw the kids throwing snowballs and wanted to correct his son's behavior also. Have a talk with the other parents so you are both on the same page. As long as you are checking on the kids having them play in the front yard is fine. Just explain your house and yard rules to the other boy.
My gut says, nothing. They are 8 year old boys. They don't have the maturity to think about the consequencs of their actions. I remember being with a group of kids and we were throwing flower tops up in the air and at passing cars. One landed on the windshield of the car and the driver slammed on his brakes and we got a serious lecture. I was around 10 or 12.
Talk with your husband and decide on what boundaries you want for your son and give him the rules. Can he play in the yard by himself? With a friend? Can he go to the neighbor's yard? Go in his house? Do you feel like you need to talk to the parents about their playdates and set-up boundaries?
It's your call on how YOUR son plays and with whom. I would just make sure he know what your expectations are and give him some verbage on how to say no to situations he doesn't want to do to save some face. "Oh, I don't think we should do that. I think I heard my mom call me. I gotta go." Or "I gotta go to the bathroom, I'll be out in a bit." -- holler from the door, "Mom wants me to stay inside."
We often expect kids to know the rules we haven't given them. Good luck, mama.
I think it would be a problem if you had told them not to throw snowballs at cars, and then they kept doing it. As it happened, they were doing something wrong, and maybe they should have known better, but they didn't have a chance to do the right thing after you corrected them because it was time to go home. It doesn't really matter whose idea the snowballing cars was as long as it doesn't happen again.
I would give them a break. Go meet the parents soon, and have the other boy over again. Your son has a chance to have a friend in the neighborhood that is his age, and you have a chance to watch that friendship grow (and possibly make friends with the parents).
Totally guilty of having been 'that kid' throwing snowballs at cars! Heck, we used to build snow men in the middle of the street and cheer when people would actually speed up to hit them and make them explode!!
Lesson learned... on your part. Don't have strange kids over, and talk some common sense into your kiddo, but also remember: kids will be kids. Sounds like harmless fun to me! It's out of his system, and probably won't happen again.
I can assure you I haven't met every parent in this subdivision and that doesn't make me a bad parent. I am responsible for my children and making sure they know how to be safe, ya know?
So far as throwing snowballs, harmless. It is snow! What flies off a car on the highway is worse than a snowball and no one gets bent out of shape about people not cleaning their cars off before they drive.
I guess I am saying just because you have different rules doesn't make their rules wrong.
They are boys.....that is what they do. My son and the boy next door have done the same thing. Let it go. It is good for your son to have a friend...they are going to be michevious sometimes.....that is how they learn right and wrong. I let my 9 year-old play outside all the time. He is not allowed to leave the yard. There are plently of parents in our neighborhood who do allow there 8 year-old to ride bikes to friends houses etc. I am not comfortable with that yet....maybe at 10. My kids do know all about stranger safety. There is a great DVD called The Safe Side....that is all about that...it is funny and older kids will like it. Check and see if it is at your library. That way, you can feel comfortable giving your son a little freedom in the yard by himself.
this is normal behaviour for 8 year old boys. very normal to throw things.. wrestle,, jump run
I dont think this is a bad experience at all.
I do let me kids play in the front yard. there are a few other kids on the block that they play with.. I check on them often but I do not watch them every minute.. they are 4 and 6. it is a quiet street with no traffice.
I don't see any bad experience H......they are kids....You already taught to your child what was wrong, period. Meet the other parents and probably a nice friendship may be born.
