Do You Let Your Kids Play Outside with No Supervision?

My oldest is 11 and she's now allowed to ride her bike out by herself. 7 is on the young side. My 4 year old can play in the backyard all she wants.

My 13 year old can and he walks home from school and has for the last year and a half. But before that no. And it's only home from school. He does get to play in the yard but it's and we are in an area that is very safe. My youngest can play out there when his brother or the other kids are out there that live in the finced in yard some of the time. He's 9 1/2 and he just started being able to do that.

Yes. I let my kids play outside. On their own. When they were little...under 6...I'd sit outside with them, just so they didn't run into streets and stuff. I started letting them go around the block on their own at 7 and around the subdivision at 9.

Molly:

yes. I let my kids (9 & 11) play outside unsupervised. They are allowed to go to the park by themselves as well. Greg has a cell phone. They take our dog too. There are rules - they must NEVER separate.

I can't live my life in fear and i won't let my kids live in fear either. Greg is a black belt in TKD and Nicky is a red belt.

They know the rules and, yes, I check on them. They don't know I do. But I do.

My daughter just turned 11 and I have been letting her go outside and play for about a year. But the conditions are that there has to be other kids outside with her and she has to stay on our street. And now that she has a phone she has to have it with her so I can contact her at all times and the phone has a GPS on it so I can always find her.

my back and front are fenced, but I still sit on the stairs on the deck or stay by the picture windows if they are out for any length of time.

I know I agree with you but that's the world we live in. I live in a great neighborhood and my daughter attends a top notch school. Sadly there's a been a weird guy in a van trying to acost and take kids as well. Was in the school's newsletter. Illinois has one of the most liberal laws surrounding pedophiles and kidnappers. The legislature won't sign Jessica's law. A bunch of idiots in my opinion. I would rather the kids be held back and know they're safe then unattended outside. With the economy and all the sickness in our society why risk it...Yep different world then when you and I were growing up. Sad

Oh like Cheryl O we have our kids in TKD so hopefully that will help as time goes on.

We live on base and it's a little different. There's one way in and one way out and there's a guy at that gate with a gun checking ID's and you have to sponsor on guests. It's not 100% safe, but then nothing is and it's still a heck of a lot safer than many other situations. This combined with the fact that parents are held personally responsible here for the actions of their children and guests makes me more secure. Under these circumstances I let my 11 yr old daughter out to play by herself and have for the last 2 years. I don't let my younger (4 and 5) out by themselves because they are too impulsive and things would go awry quickly.

I let my 19 and 20 yr. old out to play at about 6 & 8. We lived in a tiny little town on a dead end road and everyone knew everyone and you watched everyone's kids and they watched yours.

If we were in a different town with different circumstances that would probably change my choices.

My (now) 6 and 8 year old daughters have been playing outside solo since they were about 4 and 6 (no, I lied, they were more like 3 and 5). We had a huge 6 foot privacy fence and it would have been impossible for them to mess up in any way.

For a short time, we lived in the city, and there they were not allowed to play outside alone.

Now we have a short fence, but at 6 and 8, yes, they can play outside (or even in the front yard) by themselves. We have a really decent neighborhood and everyone kind of watches out for everyone else. They're aware of their surroundings and know that they have to stick together. They know what to do if someone they don't know tries to talk to them, or what to do if someone gets hurt.

If we were dealing with your situation, I wouldn't let the girls play alone in the FRONT, but I'd still let them play in the back.

When I was a kid (like 7 or 8) living in NJ, we had 'the man in the tan van' that was going around snatching kiddos and/or cutting people. Since it was a HUGE family neighborhood, the 20+ kids (give or take 10 on any day) knew what to do if we saw that van. We were still allowed to run amuck all around the lake and neighborhood, and because we knew what we were up against, no one ever worried about it, and we were all fine.

I've started letting the girls ride their bikes to the end of the street and back (the stop sign is just barely out of sight)... they do fine with it. It's a trust thing. i trust my kids, because I trust my parenting skills.

I also see how other parents do it around here.... like you'll see a 4 year old go by on a 2 wheeler in a helmet... then 10 minutes later the parents will walk by. They just let the kid go ahead (and he stops and waits at every stop sign for his parents to catch up). They've been doing it like that for the past 2 years (yeah, he was riding a bike @ 2, cutest little thing I've ever seen!!)

This coming summer I'm hoping to expand their independence a little bit more.

They only learn to be independent if you let them :) Once you do it a few times and you realize nothing bad has happened, you'll feel more comfortable with it, I promise! :)

Yes, I let all of my kids play outside by themselves except for my 18 month old. We know everyone in our neighborhood and everyone has kids. All the kids play together and run from stop sign to stop sign playing. I love to hear the laughter and the bang bang's they do when playing good guys bad guys.

I'm so sorry for your daughter and for you. She is missing out as a lot of kids are. Maybe they will catch the man soon! Is there any neighbor kids she can play with where their parent can be outside with her?

Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, when I was in elementary school, I could wander all over the neighborhood, as long as I was back home when my mother told me to be. Sometimes the kids on our street would get together and play, especially in winter. Although we weren't supervised, there were plenty of eyes glancing out from house windows to make sure we were safe (and not doing wrong things), and plenty of listening ears. Talk about Neighborhood Watch - if I had been overly stupid or done something I shouldn't have done, I would have had a dozen parents correcting me - and watching out for me, too.

When my children were growing up, they would get mad because I would not let them go to the big park down the road. It's a beautiful place, and they could have biked or even walked there themselves and had a great time. But the beautiful park had an ugly reputation for predators (it still does). I had to say no. They could play around the house, and with other kids nearby, as long as they followed the rules. And I think that's still reasonable.

The difference, I think, is that when I was growing up, there was not *as much* fear of strangers. In a sense, "stranger" was defined differently. There were crimes, but not the number of "random" ones we hear of today, and not the widespread feeling that any friend, relative, or neighbor was likely to be an evildoer in disguise. We were warned within an inch of our lives never to get into a stranger's car or accept candy from anyone we didn't know. But the neighborhood was considered pretty safe because all the neighbors kept track of what was going on there. This is the other side of the coin from the privacy and freedom from interference that many people crave.

Perhaps you could invite some neighboring children over to your back yard one Saturday. Invite some of the mamas, too, if you'd like. It would give the children a chance to play together, and it might develop into a good "playtime network" so there could be a little more fun on the block.

Yes, I allow my kids to play outside provided they are at least in a group. They play with both sets of neighbor kids from both homes next door, so they usually play in the front yard and go back and forth between houses. I will go out and check on them every so often, but I do not go sit on the porch and monitor them. Although hearing about your creepy man is very disconcerting.
I teach the kids the rules...No going in the street, no throwing balls in the front yard (as they always tend to land in the street), Let me know if you are going to someone else's house, do not go near cars or talk to people you do not know...we do role plays, etc. My personal view is I am not about to make my kids stay inside all the time and only go out when I can sit and watch them. If I did that, they would maybe get 30 min outdoor time a day tops, if that. My worries are more about them getting too much tv time, getting addicted to video games and becoming too sedentary. I see those as a more realistic danger than being kidnapped off the street, I guess. Apparently I am one of the more "cautious" moms in the neighborhood as well. Many of the parents allow their kids to ride their bikes in the road, ride or walk many blocks away without a parent, ride Go-Karts in the road, etc. and i will not allow that. But I am fine with them playing outside in the yard without a parent.

Why can't kids in your neighborhood play outside, is there an ordinance or something?!
I think seven is old enough as long as they are playing in a group, and as long as they check in about every 30 minutes or so. Of course I'm the type that doesn't like to be ruled by fear, so I have an easier time giving my kids a little free range.
Why don't you start by hanging in the front yard with the baby while your daughter rides her bike or whatever. Maybe once one child comes out more will follow.

In my city:
there was a 12 year old girl, walking home from school. In a nice neighborhood. In broad daylight. Among many other people. She was walking home, on the main road, not some side alley.
Anyway, a man was following her in a vehicle. She noticed and ran. He went faster. She then had the sense to run back to the school. The man could not just reverse his vehicle on the road. If the girl kept walking and/or to her home... well the man was probably going to abduct her.
That also happened in another city, in our State.
This was a 12 year old girl.

It does not matter, what age a child is, to then be left alone.
Even adult women and college girls... get abducted or end up missing.
Even in nice neighborhoods or from posh hotels with security and cameras.

The point is: it is up to the parent.

My kids play outside alone. They are 5 and 9.
Our yard is big and fenced in. We know our neighbors on all 4 sides.
My kids also have super loud voices.
But I would not let them, walk alone by themselves to the park nearby.
No.

Heck No! I don't want my child to be a statistic. My kids are always told that they cannot leave the house unless an adult is with them. They also know that there are bad people out there and mom wants them to be safe. I take my kids regularly to the school play yards and the park to let them play while I watch them. Although my backyard has a huge 6 foot fence around and the gates are locked, I still watch them. My boys are 6 and 2, by the way. The only way I would ever let them play outside alone is if they are about 11 years old, fully understand stranger danger, and know how to use a cell phone. Usually, by that age, they are fiercely independent and can't stand mom supervising.

my daughter is 9 - i live at the top of a culdesac that has 7 houses on it. we have tons of kids just on our court. she plays outside all the time - i wouldnt necessarily call it "un" supervised...But i am not out there constantly. usually i hear the kids or see them in the yard ..... so i am watching them. if my daughter happens to be playing "down in" the court i will probably walk outside to check on her every 10 min or so. she's good about following the rules though. no going in anyones backyard, no going in houses... and stay in the court (since i'm at the top i can see if the pass my house) oh and used to be no playing in the road - i'm a little more lax about that now, if they are just "standing" in the road talking i will tell all of them to go on the sidewalk. lol - but if they are riding their bikes and whatnot that is ok. She's had the same rules since she was about 6. obviously when she was younger i checked on her way more often.

Yes. But my kids are 13 and 10, and they usually have the GSD outside with them, so not sure exactly how unsupervised you would call that. If ANYone approaches our yard, I would know instantly because of the ruckus that our GSD would create.
They have been going outside "unsupervised" like this for a couple of years now. But daughter never went without her brother until she was about 8 or 9. Brother is the older of the two. He also is almost a 2nd Degree Black Belt in Tang Soo Do (testing this Saturday actually) and his sister has been taking classes for almost 2 years as well. That is no guarantee of their safety of course, but it helps that they know how to "get away" and be aware of their surroundings.

We also live in a cul-de-sac, and know all of our neighbors. ALL of them. It's a small neighborhood, too.

No, my kids are little and I will NEVER let them play outside alone. I just don't trust other people--especially the whole stranger thing. I don't know what age I will feel ok about it. As for some solutions---why not put the baby in the stroller/front pack and walk around the block while she rides her bike. She can stay close to you and circle back as needed to stick with you on the walk. Go introduce yourself to some of the neighbors and ask them if their children would like to join yours when you go out biking or hang out in the front yard and let them play there. I really believe the unfortunate truth is that-the world has changed drastically. It just isn't safe or smart to let kids play unsupervised at all. Too many freaky people and evil in this world. Its so sad, but true none the less. Hang in there!

M

Updated

No, my kids are little and I will NEVER let them play outside alone. I just don't trust other people--especially the whole stranger thing. I don't know what age I will feel ok about it. As for some solutions---why not put the baby in the stroller/front pack and walk around the block while she rides her bike. She can stay close to you and circle back as needed to stick with you on the walk. Go introduce yourself to some of the neighbors and ask them if their children would like to join yours when you go out biking or hang out in the front yard and let them play there. I really believe the unfortunate truth is that-the world has changed drastically. It just isn't safe or smart to let kids play unsupervised at all. Too many freaky people and evil in this world. Its so sad, but true none the less. Hang in there!

M

Kids are more safe today than in the past. I let my 5 and 2 year old go outside in the fenced in backyard by themselves. I can see them from the house and I leave the back door open. I try not to be a helicopter mom! Kids need to get out and roam ( depending on the age) by themselves. How are they ever going to learn to do anything on their own. I think 7 is plenty old to be outside by themselves. There is a great blog called free range kids. I don't agree with everything on there but I like their perspective on being free range.

Not where we live.

I moved all the time growing up. Some moves we had a lot of freedom, other moves we didn't. When were at his cousin's, because of the rural area, he's allowed outside by himself/ or with his cousins as long as he takes the dog with him. Up in the mountains he's afforded a lot of freedom. In OUR area (semi-urban), absolutely not.

My 5 and 6 yr old - nope. I wish I could kick them out to the back yard the way my parents did. I don't trust my little terrorists to STAY out back. They would be off terrorizing the neighborhood. Honestly, I have a panic attack if I can't see them or know exactly where they are at all times. Irrational, I'm sure. I guess I'm a product of the times.

No, my kids are little and I will NEVER let them play outside alone. I just don't trust other people--especially the whole stranger thing. I don't know what age I will feel ok about it. As for some solutions---why not put the baby in the stroller/front pack and walk around the block while she rides her bike. She can stay close to you and circle back as needed to stick with you on the walk. Go introduce yourself to some of the neighbors and ask them if their children would like to join yours when you go out biking or hang out in the front yard and let them play there. I really believe the unfortunate truth is that-the world has changed drastically. It just isn't safe or smart to let kids play unsupervised at all. Too many freaky people and evil in this world. Its so sad, but true none the less. Hang in there!

M

When my GD was 7, I would let her go out front, but she had to stay right in front of the house so that when I looked out the window I could see her.

We live in a very nice, family neighborhood and all the neighbors know each other and all the kids. So I felt comfortable letting her go just in the front especially if neighbors were out working in their yards or whatever.

Now that she is almost 10, she can ride her bike or roller blade up and down the street. She does have to check in say every 45 minutes or so, and I can see her going up and down the street when I watch out the window. I have started letting her ride her bike or rollerblade around the block, but she has to specifically ask if she can do that and then she has to check back in with me as soon as she comes around.

It was very nerve-racking when I started letting her out front by herself, but like I said usually neighbors would be outside or she would be with a group of neighborhood children so after 2 years, I've relaxed somewhat, but the rules are still in place (stay where I can see you from the driveway; ask specific permission to go anywhere Ican't see you. If you can't see the house, then I can't see you) and she's good about following them.

My guys are 5 and 2, and we have a fenced (and locked) backyard, and the weather is GORGEOUS so the windows and backdoor are open. They are playing "soldier" with the dog out there right now.
As for front yard play: I will leave the garage door, front door, and windows open and let my 5 year old ride his bike or scooter a bit, but that just started last month. He knows to ride on the sidewalk, and he can go 4 houses to the right of us and turn around in the empty driveway, and then go 5 houses to the left of us, where there's an empty driveway he can turn around in. There's a 6 year old boy that lives next door and sometimes they ride together, but his father is more strict than I am (like a 3 house limit in either direction) so I told my son to follow the neighbor's instructions so his friend doesn't get "in trouble".
ONCE I let him play outside across the street with the children there, but that had me a nervous wreck. Because the little boy there doesn't behave the way we want our children to behave....the mom is inside with windows and doors closed....the little boy runs across the street without looking (we've seen it several times...once he even stood in the middle of the road and tried to "stop" us). So, no, he doesn't play there.
We've talked to him about what we want him to know about conversations with adults, especially if we're not around, and he also knows that everyday is a "test". The first day I let him ride his bike without me, I reminded him of a time that we trusted him to follow instructions, and when he didn't obey, what happened and how we had to go backwards in our trust steps. But another time we trusted him and he did great, and we were so proud to go forward in our trust steps. He understands that, and doesn't break the rules. I do keep an ear and eye out for him. One time he fell a couple houses away and was a little longer than he should have been to come past the house, and I did notice and went outside. I saw him bending over and dusting his pants off, picking up his bike, straightening his helmet. I smiled and hid quickly so he wouldn't see me as he went past. I do keep an eye on him where he doesn't know, just to see how he would act when I'm not around. That has built not only his self confidence, but my confidence in how he'll be ok as well. I'm much more prone to letting him play with a friend that I know and like (as in trust their actions) than to let him play alone. There's safety in numbers, IF it's a good group. I like my son thinking he's being independent; and in many ways he is! But I've still got my eye on him and have had to "hide" a few times so I didn't ruin it. It's how he will learn.
One time: I was in the garage and an old lady walking the dog said "Wow you're going so fast! Where's your mom?" And I stepped out of the garage immediately but he just said "Home" and rode past her. She saw me and smiled, and I smiled, waved, and stepped back in quickly so he wouldn't see me. She nodded at me as she passed the garage, recognizing what I was doing. Freedom is good---but I think small doses at a time are best, until "tolerance" is built up, lol.

I live in an apartment and my 8 year old daughter is allowed to occasionally go out front of our apt and play but she is not allowed to go to the playground on site and play by herself. My 5 year old will never be allowed to go out on his own, but he is autistic and nonverbal and the two of them are not allowed out without supervision.

Our daughter could play alone in our gated back yard. Otherwise,I was out ther with her. Could you go outside with her and take the baby monitor while the baby sleeps?

We have started letting our kids, 6 and 7, out a bit on their own if it's in a group of kids. We have a lot in our neighborhood so it's becoming more common. I say go for it but the man trying to pick up children? That would stop me. But - have you tried to get the neighborhood kids going? I've always had our kids outside. I'd walk around with them etc so got to know a lot of people. I'd put the baby in a stroller when you can and get out there and start getting to know the moms and recruiting other kids so in a year or so, they could go out in a group. Invite some kids over for playdates if you don't already. I read about a mom who was determined to get kids out again. She hung out in her front yard for I don't know how long with lots of toys and stuff till kids gradually started coming over. And I've heard about a neighborhood in Texas who decided they were going to make it happen that their kids could be outside. So they formed an open door policy for all kids to come and go in their houses etc. I think it's worth some effort. I get such a warm feeling when I see my kids run in and out so happy that they're "independent" playing and running around from house to house.

my 4 and 6 year old can in the back yard...but by unsupervised I mean I am inside watching from the window...typically doing dishes or making dinner. they also play frequelty with their neighbors who are 7,9 and 13 and I am pretty comfortable with them over their as long as their oldest is out...since she is a babysitter also.

The things I did as a kid...are not going to happen with my kids...at least not for a LONG time