Two Year Old Loves Everyone but Me?

Why are you asking her? I have 4 daughters and I can tell you without a doubt that if you tell her that you love her, eventually she'll say it to you. People like to share affection on their own time table. It would be disconcerting if my husband walked up to me and asked me often if I loved him. Why would a child want that question any more than an adult? It makes me feel as if it's going to teach her to have low self-esteem and to always be looking for confirmation of a persons feelings for her.

It's also possible that she likes the reaction you give her. She might feel it's a game. She's way too young to understand how anything she says or does makes someone else feel. Children are way older, 5-8 years old before they can even begin to have real empathy towards others.

Also, giving a child EVERYTHING they ask for isn't always the most loving thing to do. Children don't always know what's good for them and what they want may do more harm than good.

first of all don't ask a 2 year old a question that you don't want a no answer to. Most of the time when you ask a 2 yr old any question the answer is no even if they mean yes. Probably the reason she says yes to the others is because of a reaction she gets and has realized that it is the word to say when those questions are asked. It does not mean that she doesn't love you. I have 3 year olds in class that I ask if they need to go potty and they tell me no, then a few seconds later are getting out of their seat and heading to the bathroom so they don't even know the proper response sometimes when asked a question. They have realized that yes or no is the answer to all questions but don't really understand the concept so take a wild guess.

I would not take that "no" answer personally. Just tell her you love her often and give her lots of hugs and she will probably start saying it back and I would not ask her questions like who does she love.

kids pick up on & use every emotional weapon they can....she senses your hurt & insecurity.....& by emoting these negative feelings- however unintended....you are allowing HER to control your well-being.

Quit putting her in charge of you....flip the game around & say, "I love ...." instead of "do you love?" One of the easiest ways to work with children is to avoid asking "yes" or "no" questions. Instead, ask questions in a way that the child has to make a choice: "do you want a cookie or a banana?" ....as opposed to "do you want a banana?"

I know this sounds dorky, but it works & prevents most power-issue battles. Another trick of the trade is to place what you want their choice to be...at the end of the question. For some reason, most children chose the latter choice!

Good Luck. I wish you Peace.

Hi L.,

Ouch, That does hurt! I remember my son telling me when he was about that age, "I love daddy, but I don't love you." It really did hurt!

My son is now 18 and we have a wonderful relationship and always have, really. He was just looking at the world with 2 year old eyes -- dad was fun and mom was a meanie! I was the parent that disciplined him (and took care of him of course!) and when daddy was home, it was play time.

Looking back on the situation now, I think I would try to emphasize to him that saying, "I don't love you," hurts other people's feelings. And then, just realize that he is only two. He doesn't know anything about relationships or parenting or even his own personal safety.

I have continued to tell my kids that I love them each day and that I always will. I have also continued to set reasonable rules for their behavior and have expected them to obey them. I have been the meanie lots and lots of times!

You are your daughter's example. When you show her you love her, she learns what love is. When you expect her to obey reasonable rules and follow up with proper discipline if she doesn't, you are teaching her self control.

I know that being a single parent must be overwhelming and exhausting a lot of the time. But I can tell that you love your baby and are doing a wonderful job caring for her! Hang in there! Being mom doesn't always make you popular, but no one will ever have the influence or place in her heart that you will! You can do this!

A.

Of couse your daughter loves you! Personally I can't fathom that anyone that young actually knows the meaning of the word "love" and therefore says she 'no" to you b/c she sees she gets a reaction out of you when she says it. I wouldn't put much into the fact she says she doesn't love you right now, I would just keep reminding her that you love HER by taking good care of her and being a great Mom to her and telling her you love her. She'll come around eventually.

Stop asking. She's two. She has no idea what it means or what it means to you to hear it. Of course she loves you. Just keep telling her you love her and don't worry about it.

Good Morning L., She loves you sweety never doubt that. I never have asked our gr kids if they love me, I say I love you Corbin. He replies I love you to Nana. Zane will say, You Too.. Now he adds Nana to it. Either you too Nana or Too Nana

It's like asking your child what they did at School that day. You have to ask the questions right. Like Did you get to paint today? Did you hear a story? Did you get to write your name? Did you get to play out side today? Did you play tag? If I ask Corbin Tell me what you did today, he will always say Nothing! So I ask him about certain activities and always get a great answer. With his large vocabulary, sometimes he is a little smarty pants and if he's tired with say Well Nana do i need to tell you Everything???? I usually say Yes, I love to hear about your day, I missed you.
Don't ask her if she loves you L., Say I love you ____
She will get to where she will reply in kind.

God Bless you dear-heart, she really does love her mama!!
K. Nana of 5

Hi L.!
I certainly would not worry about it one bit. My son does the same thing to me. I don't ask him if he loves me, but he definitely gets more excited to see everyone else over me. It sure does hurt my feelings sometimes if I let it. I take it to mean that he's just used to be around me and I'm the one that makes him do all of the not so fun things like eat his veggies and brush his teeth and clean up after himself. Everyone else just gets to have fun with him! I wouldn't take any offense to it at all. You know your daughter loves you. You're her mom!! I think our children naturally love us most but we get treated the worst because of it. They feel most at ease with us so if they're in a bad mood--we get it taken out on us. Good luck and hang in there!

Hi L., I know that it's hard, but you have to remember that at 2, your little Angel doesn't really know what it means to love someone - heck, a lot of grownups don't know what it means. You can't take that personally. Just like in a few years she'll slam the door and scream that she hates you - can't take it personally. It's a stage and she'll get through it. Don't keep asking her and just drop it. Tell her that you love her and soon she'll saying it back. Good luck and God Bless!!!

She certainly loves you. She may be playing off your reaction to what she says. Don't ask her. Just love her and tell her that often. Soon, she will say it back.

oh L., i'm so sorry but i just had to chuckle. if you have let on at ALL that the "NO" answer affects you in any way, i bet she picked up on it. and like another poster said - don't ever ask a two year old a question and expect to hear anything but "NO!" and i have to say, my son turned 3 in sept, and just in the last six months or so has he really started saying i love you, and really meaning it. before, he'd say it, or say "yes" if i asked him (which i never really did much, i mean, how sincere is that? do you luuuuuuve me honey? yeah sure mom. it's much more meaningful to hear "i lub you mommy"! just because they feel like saying it, not because you're pushing them to) my husband and i say it often to each other and to him, and he has picked up on what it means and says it back often, now. even without me saying it first! quit asking her, she probably really doesn't understand what it even means. just keep telling her, fifty times a day, "i love you baby!" and eventually she'll get it. and SURE don't take it personally. you are her world just like she's yours, i promise. take heart. she loves you :)

Why would you ask a child that? Wouldn't it mean more to have her just tell you she loves you for no apparent reason other than she just loves you?

Give her lots of hugs and affection to show her how much you love her and she will give it back. It concerns me that you seem so needy of her approval... She's only two and I'm quite sure that she loves you very much! Just enjoy her!

I agree, L., that it is a bit much to expect that a 2 y/o has a firm enough grasp of language to allow your emotions to be swayed by them too easily. There is no telling how your daughter interprets the word 'love'. Besides, it is very normal for a child this age to begin feeling competitive about love. If their is no sibling in the family for them to be in competition with, they often compete with Mom. I also agree that it is not such a good idea to ask that question of a child.

You might want to consider just how much a child will experiment with words and behaviors in order to see what response they will receive. They are constantly coming up with new experiments that can take your emotions on a roller coaster ride if you let your emotions take the ride. It is so easy to make the mistake of telling your child, "That hurts my feelings." That tells the child that they have your emotional steering wheel firmly in their hands. It is good to let them know that your emotions are under your control, not theirs. One response that might be helpful when she says she does not love you could be, "That's okay, some little girls are still learning how to use their love and share love. You have time to learn that. Right now, Mommy has enough love for both of us."

Your child needs your confidence as much as she needs your love.

She does not understand. Just stop asking her. She knows she is getting a reaction from you, which is just attention. She does not think in terms of positive and negative.

K.

Kids will be meanest to the person they're the most comfortable with and know will always be there. My daughter is the same way, will tell me she doesnt love me, etc, unless i'm mad then she wants hugs and kisses and reassurances that I still love her. Hopefully yours will grow out of it soon.

They learn to play games early. Don't take it so personally. She's 2. Just the other day my niece was saying "I wub you!" and said I loved her and she said "no I wike you, not wub you" I said well I love you anyway and I know Santa. She said "okay I wub you Aunt Gackie." It's a game to them. Don't let it hurt your feelings. She doesn't understand.

My son does & says things like that sometimes to get a reaction out of my husband & me. I think kids express love more in non-verbal ways at that age, so I'd be looking for other cues instead. Does she smile at you? Share things with you? Seem interested in being around you? My guess is she probably does all of those things, because you sound like a loving, attentive mom.

honestly at 2 they truly do not know what love really means. she also knows that if she tells you no she gets a reaction thus she will keep it up. just remember kids don't really know what love is until they are older. so don't let it bother you and just keep telling her that you love her no matter what.

She does so love you...she is tickled by the response she gets from you when she says she doesn't ...listen up momma, the kid is playing you already...be so happy that she can express so much verbally, my son is 2 and 1/2 and he is in speech therapy and he has never said he loved me or anyone else ( yet) Also, even if you are the best mommy in the whole wide world ( which trust me to her you are, I Promise!) you are also the one who diciplines her and enforces bedtimes etc ( because you love her, but at 2 that is a tough sell...and Grandma, the cat etc don't do that)
She loves you, just wait it gets worse, wait until she is a teen ( I have a teenager ) they can say nasty hateful things...just have to realize that you are the mom, you love your child, and they love you, whether they say it or not = )
B.