Tubes Tied - Midland,MI

Hi S., I am sort of in the same boat. My husband has one child who is spec needs (moderate retarded) and I have 2. We don't have any together although I would have LOVED to have one with him. I'm 44 and he's 37 so I'm just too old (we met when I was almost 41), and my 2 other pregnancies were difficult, my dtr born with a heart condition and I had complications with my son, and both were 11 pounds, c sections, just don't want to go thru that again. and my youngest is almost 9 so it would be too far apart. I just wanted to tell you that I understand and it isn't silly. I still have to adjust my "what if's" and remind myself to be happy with the wonderful husband and kids that I have. I think its harder when the kids aren't babies anymore and we realize they are growing up and can do things by themselves and they don't need us as much. But I have to admit I'm looking forward to more free time with hubby and am sort of happy I don't have a baby that takes up all my time. =) So just sending you happy thoughts and letting you know you are not the only one.

Out of curiosity... why not get a copper IUD? Same failure rate as a tubal, good for 10 years, and it takes 10 seconds to remove it if you change your mind in 2/ 5/ 8/ 10 years. Also... none of the hormonal side effects that come along with getting a tubal even if you just keep getting it replaced every 10 years until menopause.

I don't think it's silly, but have you considered your husband having a vasectomy? It is a much more minor outpatient procedure as compared to an abdominal one.

Vasectomy - cheaper, easier, less risk.

I don't think you're silly. It's the end of an era for you! I only wanted two, hate being pregnant and my husband got snipped, but it still felt a little weird knowing it would never happen again -and I really REALLY didn't and don't want it to! Emotions come with finishing such a huge chapter in your life! I would recommend looking into vasectomies -cheaper, easier and far fewer complications as well as a higher no fail rate.

I don't think it's silly to feel sad about it. Having your children were fantastic memories and getting your tubes tied is a permanent thing - it's saying goodbye to the breeding chapter of your life! I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision but I'm sure I'd be emotional as well!

You're not silly. If he thinks you're silly, then perhaps he can be the one that goes and gets the snip instead of you? It seems like it's not as emotional for him at all.

And, I am feeling similar to you. We are just about to have baby #5. I really feel done. My hubby feels done. We are in love with the children we have and feel very blessed to have them. But we also carry a genetic disorder that gives our children a 1 in 4 chance of being born with a fatal disease. It's been quite the process to have the five we have had (our first was born with this disease).

Anyway - point being, we really feel like we are done. My hubby offered to get snipped, and I thought that was great. I have no issues with that at all. Then I found out I have an umbilical hernia and they will need to repair my belly muscles to ensure that when they fix the hernia, it'll stay fixed. So, it kind of makes it not a good idea for me to have more babies anyway (if I wanted more, I should wait until I have them all before getting the hernia fixed). Anyway, so now the discussion is whether I want to get my tubes tied since I'm having all that done anyway right after the c-section.

I am having a hard time with it! I totally feel done. I am completely fine with my hubby getting snipped. But it doesn't set right with me (yet) to think of me having my tubes tied. Part of it is that I've treasured every pregnancy and baby and it's an amazing experience...and I feel completely uninterested in sterilizing myself. My hubby - sure (because he doesn't care one way or the other). Me...it just hits me weird.

I'm hoping by the time the baby has arrived I will feel okay with it all. I really, really feel done. I currently really don't feel interested in being the one to have it done, though. If it doesn't bother my hubby, perhaps he should just do it. But why don't I since the doctor will already be in there for the birth/hernia repair...

Anyway, in your situation, is there a reason your hubby can't go do it since it bothers you? That's what we would do in your situation:-) It's what we had originally planned on doing! But now with these other issues, it makes it seem like logically it would be easiest for me to get my tubes tied. But emotionally...I'm not sure. If I'm not completely okay with it, my hubby will get it done.

I would not recommend getting sterilized, you may regret it. No one is ever "ready" for another child, but when one comes along, everything works out. Don't you want to have a child with your husband? If you get "fixed" you won't ever be able to. At least give it some more thought. Getting "fixed" is really just getting broken. Time makes us all infertile anyway, so why rush it?

It's not silly. I think maybe it's the finality of it. I am prego with number four and only because I was on the fence about getting them tied. I made an appointment to have a consult with my doc on a monday and the thursday before had a positive pregnancy test. Not silly.

If you ever want another kid, adopt. There are more kids out there with no homes than you could imagine. Thank the gods or providence or whatever that I could never have children, because if I could have I would never have adopted my wonderful children.

you are not silly at all!!!! we decided we were done after I had my twins 9 months ago. we knew half way into the pregnancy we were done. my husband got a vasectomy about a month before the twins were born just to make sure that it was all good and taken care of, and I had my tubes tied as soon as i had the boys. since i was already cut open from the c-section i didnt have to have a seperate recovery.

and sometimes I get sad thinking i'll never have another baby, never have a little girl. we have 3 boys. but then i'll think about how miserable i was with my last pregnancy and the c-section recovery and the sleepless nights etc etc etc. funny though because i'll still wish i could have another sometimes.

I thought about getting tubes tied and it depressed me that I would never be able to have kids again. Even tho my current pregnancy (#3) is kicking my butt...I enjoy the fact that I (something only women can do) can aid and assist in creating another life. So I don't think you are being silly. I think when we make that decision you have to mourn the fact you are giving up the ability to do something so special.

BTW, I don't think no one is ever totally prepared for kids. All three of mine were not planned. But when they come as a mother wanting to take care and provide for your baby, you make it work.