Trying to Help Out a Friend

LOVE IN THE NAME OF CHRIST is an organization that helps out in crisis. It's not long-term, but they try to connect people to organizations that can help. This organization is all over the country. See if the area in FL she's in has one.

I would really look into Florida law. It doesn't make any sense that if she files for child support she can't get state funded aid. My friend had the same problem in Maryland and she was able to get WIC, state funded healthcare, and discounted rates on day care all through the state, while her child support claim was being dealt with in the court. The father even made some payments and she still got aid. It maybe worth her going to a legal aid clinic (look at local law schools) to get some advice, most of the time free. If it is true that she either gets child support or state funded help, it maybe in her best interest to forgo the child support claim and just get the state aid, especially if the father does not have a well paying job or a steady form of income.

i would suggest her getting a package of prefolds diapers & covers, she can wash them & save money on diapering. it might not be what she wants to do but it will save money & keep her baby's bottom clean

When I was an eligibility worker for public assistance, the requirement was that the applicant had to comply with efforts to establish paternity and child support on behalf of the children. I think your friend is confused or getting bad information from someone. Her own efforts to get a child support order should be a positive rather than a negative. Usually, some governmental agency is charged as well with child support enforcement and collection. I know that the Attorney General's office in TX serves that function here.

She needs to contact the state and local agencies to see what assistance is available. WIC should be available to her to help with nutritional needs of the baby and her. She may be eligible for TANF and food stamps. Local programs may be available to help with her housing needs. All of these programs are time limited and temporary, but it sounds like she needs some breathing space right now.

That makes no sense...if you're not getting any help, you have to file for child support which won't guarantee you anything at all. But if you file for child support you won't get any help? That just makes no sense but ... hey, it's the government so I'm not even going to try to understand. Everythign they touch becomes a convoluted mess.

I would say for her to appeal to her church, go to the local food pantry. She needs to be on WIC and the child on Medicaid. These are federal programs so it shoulidn't have an issue with where she lives. I used to be a liasion for the Child Support Enforcement Unit in Colorado... if someone wasn't getting assistance or child support we'd meet with the mom, get all the information to pursue the dad, get her an appointment with the IV-D office (welfare) and we would then work in unison with the IV-D office so that there was ONE running ledger of what we'd paid and what dad had paid. Therefore we went after dad to reimburse US for what mom/baby was costing the state. HOPEFULLY it works taht way there but, I really really hope that she gets some help from local non-profits.

Have her apply for Medicaid first. They will go after father once they are supporting baby and assist her in getting child support. Contact the local churches. I know tithing is down but people still want to help.

Apply for welfare NOW. They would at least help her get milk and diapers.

I'm so sorry to hear this. So many troubled people.

I would search for pregnancy resource center info in the city she lives in, you state she lives in FL, there should be resources available to her quite easily in any large metro area.

Dear C.,
I am a CASA with Denton County and we have had a lot of training about how to help out families in need. One of the best resources we use is "The United Way". They have put together a resource book that lists all of the available resources in the county. If you and your friend can go on line and look up/contact the United Way in the county she lives in, I am sure they can help direct her to some local resources.
Good luck and thank you for trying to help a friend in need.
K. Parker

I'm in Denton, and we have an organization here called Interfaith Ministries - one of the services they provide is a diaper service for families who can't afford to keep enough diapers. I know they operate for Denton County and wouldn't be able to provide for Florida assistance. BUT, they also do a lot of referring service, when they try to connect people with the help and services they need. You might look them up and see if they have info for a similar group in your friend's area. And let her know that it's a possibility too, so that she can be looking in her area. Good luck!

I have alot of 7th Generation Diaper boxes which I am planning to sell. I have a family too, and I know how everything adds up and costs so much these days. I am a buddhist, and I have recently been out of touch with my inner self, and have been focusing too much about me and my family. I feel I am going out of my believes, and need to re-group my inner self by giving. I feel sorry for this gal, and I am willing to give some boxes of diapers to her. If anyone is going to FL, they can drop it off to her. It is not worth couriering them over from TX. I found out that the courier charge costs more than the diapers from UPS. Let me know your thoughts on this C., and if we can get her these diapers to her.

I wonder if she'd be eligible for WIC?

Does she attend church? If so, she needs to go ask the church for some assistance. Also, there are lots of Pregnancy Advocacy centers around the country (anti-abortion). Most of the time, they help needy moms after the birth, too. Contact one of those.

Hi,
If she lived in the Rockwall, Texas area I would suggest a place called Pregnancy Resource Center. Maybe there is place semilar to this in her state. You could call Pregnancy Resource Center and see if they could recommend someone to help your friend.

Another possibility would be for your friend to find a church that she likes. If she had a church family and she let them know she had needs they would probably help her as much as possible.

I hope these ideas help a little.

ALSO, check with her local "battered women's shelter". They will certainly steer her in the right direction. I donate my extras to them.

Look into churches (especially CATHOLIC as they are anti-abortion and pro aiding mothers that choose life) and local Pro-life organizations for help on baby-care items! I know locally here, there is ABBA (all babies born alive) that gives diapers and even things like cribs and onsies with no questions asked and in bulk! If you can't find an organization like this by name, find the nearest catholic church (yellow pages) and ask them! I know without a doubt that they would at least have ONE organization's contact info easily at hand!

Also try WIC! It is not govt assistance but a local assistance that is suplemented with govt funds. It will help with formula and some nutritional needs as well. It is based on income of the family, so if the mother's income is below the needed income required for a family of two, she will qualify. They prefer a woman to nurse/BF and push it (and often reward it with better incentives) but you do not have to nurse to get benefits from WIC.

Hope this helps!
Best of luck!
T.