Trouble with Potty Training - Quincy, MA

With both boys I tried all the usual suggestions...reward charts, positive reinforcement, peer "pressure" etc. I let them take their time and rarely nagged them. Still, at 3 1/2 years they were not consistently using the potty. So, I tried what many had suggested, to put them solely in underwear during the day. Because I worked, I decided that this could only be done during vacation time at home. My first child was stubborn. He snuck off in his room and pooped in his pants. It was not fun to clean up and required a lot of patience. After a week, he was getting tired of the routine. With the second child it took about a day. He hated the mess.

Hi D.,

I am having the same problem with my 3 1/2 old, except she won't even poop on the potty or sit on it. I have tried everything, even just putting her in her underpants and that terrifies her for some reason. So I am trying to relax about it and take the approach of she will do it on her own with out me nagging her. But would love to hear any suggestions from others who have had the same problem.

A Litte about me:
I am 36 year old mother of 3 girls, ages, 9, 7 and 3 1/2.

I potty trained my son several times - that is I started, didn't make much progress, quit, and then tried again a few months later. He got it when he was a little over 3. Mainly because he went to a new school and to move up to the classroom with the kids he liked the best he had to be potty trained. So it was a reward in combination with waiting until he was really ready that did the trick.

I too had to just have my child uncomfortable in underwear. Kinda gross to have pee going down your leg and a lot of kids only let it happen once.

They had padded underwear and I used that - which helped it from being a puddle completely on the floor...

My son, at 5, STILL had an accident - because he doesn't like to stop what he's doing to go to the bathroom. I'm constantly prompting him to go. I, of course, pointed out how much longer it takes to clean up, take a bath, and get cleaned up then it would have to just go to the bathroom on the potty.

So my advise -- find out why she doesn't want to use the potty - and use it to your advantage.

My son was similar and didn't potty train until 4. I just laid off all the incentives, etc.. and asked him point blank no pressure when he thought he might be ready. He told me when he was 4. I continued to encourage once a week. When his fourth birthday was approaching I reminded him that when he was 4 he was going to use the potty agian no pressure just gently stating a fact. We put a sticker on the calander so he could see when the last day of pull-ups was and once or twice a week I reminded him of our plan. Given his age he potty trained in 2 days. I just had to give him some control over the process. Hope this is somewhat helpful. Good Luck.

Don't have her wear a diaper around the house and as soon a s she pees on the floor make her wipe it up and then sit her on the toilet. This will work after no more than 2 weeks. I trained my 2 year old this way.---

I just went through this with my 3yo. She would pee and poop when she felt like it. She refused to wear panties and would just pee/poop in her pull-up because it was easier. She was even to the point where she would change the pull-up if it was wet/dirty!

I also used a reward chain. Basically a paper chain. When she peed/pooped on the potty she got to take a link off the chain. If she used her pull-up instead, she would have to ADD a link! When all the links were gone, she got a prize (a dvd she really wanted).

She did well for quite awhile, but got lazy and just used the pull-up.

Finally I got fed up and insisted she only wear panties. I told her if she didn't pee on the potty they would get soaking wet and feel gross.

She hasn't had an accident since! She's even waking up in the night (despite having a pull-up on) and going to the potty!

Good luck! I find with my daughter she will do it when she's darn ready, despite my best efforts!
Update me on how she's doing!