I just told my 9 year old to take his poncho(put in his book bag incase it rained on the way home from school today) upstairs and put it in his top drawer. Then change out of his school clothes. I hear him in the living room taking the poncho out of the package. I say what did I tell you to do? Son:"take the poncho and put it away" Me: what else? Son: I dont' remember.
So what can I do to improbe his memory or make him pay attention to me when I give him directions?. I try to make them simple so I don't lose him so to speak but he forgets all the time.
Thanks ladies! I am going to try the check list,he will get a kick out of that!
You have to keep it to one step at a time.
If you make 2 requests at once, one of them will be forgotten.
I have an 8.5 year old.
What I do is take the requests, (your example: take his poncho upstairs and put it in his top drawer. Then change out of his school clothes) and break them down into smaller phases...like "Poncho upstairs, & change your clothes"
One step at a time. Put your poncho in your book bag and tell me when you are done. When he comes back, change out of your school clothes and tell me when you are done.....
I trained kids with ADD, this is the only way that worked for me. Eventually they start stringing things together. The nice thing is they tell you when they are ready. Jeez!!! MOM!! is there anything else I can do so I don't have to keep coming back!!!!! They start paying closer attention because it just sucks to keep coming back and telling me they are done.
The problem is, and this is normal kids as well, they aren't actually paying attention. They have to want to pay attention.
if you don't want to break this into sequential requests....then give him a written checklist. My younger son is 15 & ADD. His "ooooh, shiny!" moments drive us nuts.....so I have found that the checklist is the only way to make sure he achieves all of my goals.
Have him look at you and then repeat back to you what you told him to do. Also, you could try playing a memory game with him so you can see if this happens with everything or just with you. He may "stop listening" after the first part. If you don't see a problem with memory after playing a memory game (card matching) then you can try some listening games. Sit with your backs together and you say something and he has to repeat it verbatim. Also, you can try telling him to put his poncho away and then come back for ice cream or cookies and see if he remembers that. It could be selective listening/selective memory!
Make sure he is looking at you when you are giving him directions. Then, have him repeat them back to you a couple of times. Then, say, "Go!" :)
As a teacher, here is what I'd recommend: the combination of having him repeat the directions and providing a checklist (kids love clipboards) will work best, though when the checklist isn't doable, have him repeat the directions to you. Be sure to break the directions down to what is manageable for him (whether it be 1, 2, or 3 steps). He may have difficulty with attention and/or sequencing.
You might also want to consider logical locations for his things, and a place for everything. ie. Have some hooks in a "locker" for his coats/bookbag/lunchbox, that way everything lands in the same place and is ready to go when he leaves for school.
If he has difficulty attending to his homework, create a homework station in the kitchen or office (best to not send a child upstairs to their room) where you can monitor his progress. The homework station can be a bin with containers containing all the essential supplies. Best of luck to you.
I would start by giving him simple directions. Lots of kids can't remember directions with too many steps. If you want him to be more successful break them down. You could make him a list and put it on the frig so when he comes back just gently remind him to check the list. My son has always been like this so I try to be more patient with him and I expect that I will have to check in with him. You need to read Boys Adrift by Leonard Sax to understand how a boy's mind works. Us moms need to understand we are girls and that our boys are not wired like us.
