Hi S.,
I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. I can sympathize with you because I have a life threatening allergy to shellfish, so I too must read labels on food. While I can't answer all of your questions, I hope I can be of some help.
Like I said, I too must read labels, and I do not buy anything that states it's been made in a facility that also processes shellfish because of cross contamination. It's just too risky, in my opinion. The same goes for tree nuts, so if you have the time, and are able to make your own bread, that is certainly a good route to go. Another option is to check out local health food stores; sometimes they are much more careful about how they prepare their breads and other foods.
I would certainly recommend staying away from bulk foods. Cross contamination is such a major risk in bulk foods that its just not worth it. All it takes for cross contamination is for someone to touch a nut in one bin, then put their hand in another bin, and then the food item in that bin is contaminated, and you wouldn't know until your daughter has a reaction.
I have a website for you to explore that may be of help to you, especially since you have multiple allergy issues.
http://www.foodallergy.org/
It's the Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis website and it's got some amazing information on it. You should be able to get some helpful information on it. You can even sign up to get email alerts about food recalls...there are periodic food recalls when a manufacturer forgets to put on the packaging label that the food item includes allergens like dairy, eggs, nuts, etc.
I hope this helps you. Good luck!