My youngest is almost 2, and I think he's about ready for a big bed. Meaning, full size! His 4 year old brother was the same way at this age, they are so restless when they sleep they bash into the sides of the crib wake themselves up, then SCREAM.
This has been going on for a few weeks. I pulled out our full sized air mattress and have it on the floor in their room. But he will not lay there on his own. I dont want to start the habit of laying there until he goes to sleep. I did that with my four year old, because I was 6-7 months pregnant when we started and I was too exhausted to care lol
Whats the most effective method? Or should I realize a "hard routine" may lay ahead where I am playing super nanny and constantly putting him back on the bed until he stays? If I lay him in a bed in the middle of the night after he wakes up screaming, he stays asleep and sleeps like a log! But again, I dont want to start that habit.
The four year old falls asleep on his own while watching a show at night, then we take him up to bed. Not the best method I know. We want to work on that when we move in to our new home next week.
We made it a huge deal about being a big kid. Let them pick out their sheets, new pillows, night lights...
They were excited about it all...made the transition much easier.
If it works to lie down next to him, you could try that for a few nights and then transition to sitting next to him, sitting a few feet away, sitting just outside the room, etc.
I only mention this idea because you say that lying next to him actually works, and I'm a big believer in taking something that works and tweaking it rather than replacing it with something completely different.
I did lie down with my oldest for a long time (hey, I didn't have any other kids at the time). When little brother was born I was looking to change that routine quickly. I started by sitting next to him for a couple of nights, then sitting across the room. He responded pretty well to that. Then I simply began making up excuses to leave the room (laundry, dishes, bathroom, etc) with the promise of coming right back. I always came right back, but each night I was gone for a longer period of time. It was really only a couple of nights before he fell asleep on his own while I was gone. After he did that, I would wait an hour or more before I checked on him. Now he's older and honestly has no memory of me ever being in the room while he fell asleep. He thinks it's weird that I still sit with his little brother sometimes!
There's lots of things you can try (I'm hoping other people tell you their success stories), but this really did work for us.
Are you sure a fullsize bed isn't too big? Sometimes a smaller bed with sides feels "safer" to the kiddo. Maybe a twin with rails or take the side off of the crib and see if he does better with that? I don't really know since I haven't gotten to that point yet. My almost 3 year old LOVES her crib and doesn't want out so Yippee for me! I'll read your answers to see if I get any good tips for when I need them. Good luck!
That super nanny think didn't work on our child. She'd keep coming out, and coming out, etc. There's only so much patience that can be expected with that method, especially when things don't get better even the slightest. We didn't know what else to do so we tried a child lock. after we put her to bed we'd say good night and if you try and get out the lock is going on. she'd come out and we put a child lock on (the inside). We could get in, she couldn't get out. Then after she fell asleep we'd go in and take the lock off. Our kid has a very hard time keeping still even after a soothing routine. This worked for her because she understood there was nothing else she could do once the lock was on, and it forced her to resort to falling asleep. Recently we started telling her if you try and get out, then you don't get to play with (insert favorite toy/game) the whole day tomorrow. That is actually working, and now we're not having to put her back at all. I guess imagining an entire day without Candy Land sounds devastating to her :) Hope you figure out what works for you.
I would choose my battle. Is it better for everyone if he lays down and goes to sleep or is it better for everyone if he is up and down running around. Laying down by a child to get them to go to sleep is such a small thing. It is a personal time where you can talk, spend time telling stories, get to know your child's dreams and fears, if something is bothering them, it's a special time that they will remember the rest of their lives.
I remember when my hubby would go lay down with our granddaughter at night. He would read to her and spend an hour or so in their with her until she fell asleep.
One night she looked up at him and said "Papa, I don't want to have sex with XXXX anymore, can you tell him to stop". Of course the pooh hit the fan when he told me. I called my friend and told her what my granddaughter had said.
Come to find out my oldest grandson whom she was fostering had been sexually abused by his dad or someone living in that house. He was acting out stuff with them outside when they were playing unsupervised.
He was not making them have actual sex but was having them act inappropriately. That is one of the heartbreaking things that happens with some kids. They are abused and the only way they can deal with it is to act like this. By playing with dolls in therapy they often can deal with it and be healed mentally. It's hard to deal with as an adult because you know that your kids have been subjected to this now and they are going to have to deal with the same thing this other child did to them. It can be a vicious circle.
From that point on when the kids were together they were in the main room. We would watch a movie with everyone laying on the carpet with the huge couch pillows under their heads and they would all eat popcorn and just hang out. It was not a Punishment but just a different way of spending time together.
The point is that if hubby would just make my granddaughter lay down and fall asleep without that special bonding time who knows if she would have ever told him what was going on.
I think that time of the evening is the best time of the whole day.
That's definitely a hard transition! What works for one kid may not work for another (as far as keeping them IN the bed!) Our kids were transitioned out of their cribs around age 2, by necessity really. For my older one, her little sister was going to arrive when she was 26 months. So at 24 months we moved the older one to a completely different room with a double bed. She preferred to sleep on the floor in a corner for the first month! But keeping her in her room? We put the nightlight on a timer and told her when the nightlight went off (7am) she was allowed to come out of her room to get me. Obviously if she really needed something she'd let me know!
With my younger one I DID lay in bed with her in the beginning. But we had a very definite routine. I sang her 4 songs and then time was up, I was leaving! She was very rarely asleep at that point, but she was drowsy. I don't know, maybe it helped to do it that way? She knew I was only going to sing the 4 songs, I wasn't going to stay until she fell asleep. Worth a try?
