Tough Potty Training!

Hi N.,
Start giving her lots of water for her to drink!!! This is very good for her system and she won't be able to keep holding it. Do not give her any more diapers even at night. She is doing a power play. Show her the empty bag from the diapers and tell her you are not buying anymore.
Also look to see if anything has changed in her life. She knows she can control this area and that gives her power. Keep the childs toilet handy and set up but don't tell her to use it. Let it be her idea.I left the door open when I was going to the bathroom when I was pottytraing my girls. They walked by and saw me going potty. One of my kids was afraid she was going to fall in the big potty, because her bottom was so little. So she used the childs potty. Also give her lots of fruit. Good luck. D.

It sounds like potty training is becoming a power struggle. Ease off, let her wear diapers or use them at will. No one goes to kindergarten in diapers. This will pass.

Hi N. -

I'm going to go waaaay out on a limb and say, simply -- she's not ready. My daughter wasn't potty trained until she was 4 1/2. I wasn't thrilled, but truly, it wasn't that bad. When you're done, you're done, and you don't have that far to go. You've introduced the potty to her, now, don't push the issue. It will just be hard on everyone, and the whole thing will take longer than it will if you allow her to do it when she's ready. My daughter went to a preschool where she did not need to be potty trained, so it wasn't an issue for us. If your daughter was 5 1/2, I'd say maybe you have a problem, but 3 1/2, I've known so many kids who weren't ready by then, it's not uncommon.

Hope that helps some. I do know it's tiresome changing diapers, especially when you think your child is too big for it, but you will get there, and as I said, once you're done with potty training, you're done. It's easy when you go with her flow, no pun intended. If people are patient, their kids will practically potty train themselves. This is advice given me by my daughter's pediatrician, by the way. I thank him in my heart for that all the time. It was one of the few things I felt sure I got right.

All the best to you & your family,
Colleen

i really cant suggest what you should try next. what i can offer is letting you know that your not the only one that has a daughter that did that! my daughter had the SAME reaction to potty training. didnt want ANYTHING to do with it OR her little potty seat. she was already just over 3 at the time and one day.. she woke up and decided on her own 'she was done with diapers' and NEVER had an accident. dont ask me how/why and if anything we tried finally sunk in. all i know is that she woke up and she was potty trained. belive me.. we struggled for a LONNNGGG time like you are. she is now 20 and i recall even trying to bribe her into being potty trained so she can wear her new little mermaid undies. or whatever other charcter was around at that time (1991 or so). have you bought her pretty undies she wants to wear? Hopefully soon she will 'be done with diapers' too :) good luck!!

there ate two things that we cayy with us into adulthood:
eating and toilet training. Don't make it such a big deal. I would stop now and do not start again for a little while. children use eating and the potty for power over the adult and she seems to be very successful. Leave it alone for a while. Big the "big girl" panties and if she has an accident make it no big deal. You can say "Oh well if you used the potty you wouldn't have gotten your pretty undies ruined. But we can try again later" See if that doesn't help............NO PRESSURE

Hey, some kids really have a hard time letting go while sitting on the potty. Then it takes longer and they do not want to sit and wait. I have to say that some time trying too hard turns them off. I was trying very hard to potty train my first daughter before my next one was born. I failed even though trying all the same things as you! I ended up backing of completely - not even mentioning it and simply putting the potties away. Then 3 months later - I put a potty in her own room next to her bed. Since she was still napping (still is at 3.5 yrs) she had the privacy of her own room and the need to pee was there. So without me telling or asking her to sit she just simply sat down of her own free will. Then I equipped our bathrooms with step-stools and kiddie-seats on the toilets and she just starting going on her own. I suppose she felt it was her choice and she was not nagged or told to do so. Make sure she wipes - help out with number 2s! Kandoo flushable wipes are awesome for that stage. In either event I suggest you remove all potty-stuff for a little while - Don't even mention it and then pull them back out and don't make a big deal out of it.
I really do hope this works - otherwise try cutting a hole in the diaper and have her sit with the diaper on the toilet. I was told by a friend of mine that did the trick with her 3 yr old boy.
Good luck

I completely agree that you are probably in a power struggle with your daughter and need to just drop the topic altogether. I'd give it at least a month and just put her back in diapers. Being in diapers all day may cause her to decide to go on the potty. In that case it would be her choice and you should follow her lead. But maybe she's feeling so much pressure that the discomfort of diapers would be a small price to pay for some time off from all the potty talk:) There's a lot of pressure on you too, as your daughter gets older, to have her trained in this or that at a certain age. My first was a late walker, a late getting out of our bed and into his own, a late potty trainer, etc... I would just tell people "I'm sure he'll be 'walking/sleeping/peeing' on his own by the time he's in college". wink wink. You've done your best to this point. Now just give yourselves a little break and see what happens in a few weeks.

my man said one day, she is just being lazy. so I told her that and that she was going to day care with no diapers and put her underpants on her. she was potty trained as of that moment... however she still has to wear one to bed at night... not sure how to stop her from peeing at night...

Give it up! Your daughter will potty train when she wants to and thinks it is her idea. Potty training is the one thing that we cannot force. Forget about it and she will decide on her own when to do it.
My youngest son was almost 4 before he trained. I had done everything you describe as well and ws totally frustrated. One day I simply said forget it, and put his diaper back on him full time. I picked him up from his babysitter on Friday afternoon and he was wearing diapers. On Saturday morning he woke up, asked for his "big boy" underwear and never turned back! He is now 11 and has had 0 accidents day or night! Potty training is all about control, and this is one place where the children have all the control.
My suggestion is to put a diaper on her and tell her it is her choice to go potty or not...then let it go! VERY FEW children go to kindergarten in diapers!