Too Talkative Kindergartener

My daughter had a similar issue (she's an only child too). I had a talk with her and then the teacher had a talk with her as well. We both stood firm when telling her that school is a place to learn and there are other times to be more social. She's young compared to the rest of the class. This conversation happened in November and things have continuously improved throughout the year. We just kept reinforcing it. Maybe set up playdates so he has other times to be social.

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Well J. kids will be kids. They are going to talk. I am not really sure what you can do to stop it. Maybe play school with him in the summer and have some of his friends over. Then you guys can talk about when it is play/talk time vs. quiet/learning time. Hope it helps.

Hi J. P,

Do you take your son to church?

That is an excellent way to teach him how to be quiet.

Just wanted to know.

Good luck.

D.

Good ideas from Kay... the only thing I would add, is to maybe engage your son in some structure activity through the summer (if you haven't already) where the same expectations are present (i.e. library story time, gymnastics class, etc.) so that he can get some more practice before school next year. Perhaps if it is a parent/child activity, you can guide him while in the environment and teach him ways / social cues to recognize when he needs to be quiet, i.e. the teacher is talking and the rest of the class is quiet, a classmate is reading, and no one else is talking, etc.

Best of luck... I have a busy, talk-ie little boy myself, so I can see myself in your shoes in 2 years!

Here is an exercise I've done with my kids for either when they talk too much, or not enough, to teach them how conversations are supposed to be.

I tell them that a conversation is like playing ball. First, a person throws a ball and the other person catches it, then the other person throws it back.

It is no fun to play ball if someone hogs the ball and won't pass it back. Pretty soon, the other person won't want to play anymore.

The same is true if someone speaks to you, then you answer, then the say something else, and it goes on. When it is someone else's turn to have the ball, then the other person has to wait.

So, I'd practice this skill over the summer. I'd practice learning to start and stop conversations, waiting for the other person to finish talking before beginning to talk ourselves, and also learning to pass the conversation on to the other person by asking questions for the other person.

As a teacher, it is difficult to have a student be too talkative. It doesn't give other students a chance to express themselves. Your son needs to learn to wait until it is his turn to have the ball, and then learn not to hog the ball when he gets it, but to pass it to someone else.

I hope that helps,
L.

Well the first thing that came to mind is mentioning this to your son's teacher next year. He/she will hopefully have some ideas for finding ways to make this a positive thing in the classroom rather than a negative. Are you planning on taking any classes with him over the summer? You could explain before the class (we'll say a karate class for example) that while the instructor is talking we listen so we can learn from him/her. Then after class we will talk all about it. Also you could practice good quiet times by going to the library and even the movie theater to show how some places allow less talking but there is always time for talking after. You could also purchase a journal and encourage him to draw pictures of things he does during the day to practice another form of communication. Just a few ideas.... but it sounds like a very cute dilemma :)

Could he and the teacher have a sharing journal, where he could write/draw(with you taking dictation) one or two most important things he wants to tell the teacher about? The idea being he gets to share this thoughts and practice writing and have a special relationship with the teacher, but not monopolize the class.
This year or next you could maybe get a copy of the class schedule and write it down for him to see that, there is time to talk at lunch and recess but not during the math lesson. and maybe put lip stickers on the times it's ok to talk to make it fun
And maybe talk about how he would feel if he never got to share anything because ONE child was always Talking. He may not realize it but that is probably what he is doing to his friends and it makes them sad. THen just make sure the that teacher does give him time to share. But waiting a bit will teach him impulse control.
I sound like an old granny, but do you let him interrupt when you are talking to another adult?? He might need to learn that in order to learn that when his teacher is talking he needs to listen.
Where would we be with out talkers!
They make the world fun. Just help him to learn the right time and place.

You know what they say: If it's not O. thing it's another!
I have a chatty Kindergarten kid (at home) who clams up at school. I'm always reminding him "speak up" "ask for help if you need it" etc. I like the advice you got of getting him to library story time, a vacation Bible School camp week or something like that where they may better enforce the quiet/sharing times......it would be good practice for him for 1st grade.

Your son sounds delightful! I'd love to have him in my classroom! Besides the excellent advice you've already received, you could try using a "talking stick" and a timer. The "talking stick" can be a real stick or anything such as a small toy or other small object that is used solely for this purpose. When you have conversations with him, either on your own or as a whole family, make a game out of it. Whoever has the talking stick is allowed to talk. The rule is, everyone else must listen attentively without interruption until the timer goes off (designate a time first--anywhere from 1-5 minutes or so). When the timer goes off, the person then hands the talking stick to the other person, following the same rules. It is a great (and fun) exercise for children as well as adults and can be used with great success at home, in classrooms, and in adult meetings (kindergarten boys are not the only ones who like to talk a lot and monopolize conversations! :)

Best wishes for a great summer!

My son is a talker to. My son just finished a much more successful first grade year than K. Partially b/c he's a little more mature, partially b/c we've really been on him about not interrupting the class. His first grade teacher has been wonderful about taking the time to email us every night to tell us if he followed the rules or not. If he did not, he loses TV, Wii, and computer until the next time he follows the rules. It's tough to maintain for a whole weekend, but has really paid off. One thing we are also working on it not allowing him to interrupt us when we are talking.

Good luck!!

I had the same issues w/ my daughter. every report card she brought home this year had a comment about her excessive need to share. at first I felt a bit hurt as a parent because I know my daughter & she's so excited about life/school & is a really happy kid. I didn't want to crush her spirit at 5 & tell her she had to stop talking. i met with the teacher & her concern was in 1st grade there's going to be more kids & less time for talking. I understand their point of view and casually talk to my daughter about giving other kids a chance to share & how important listening skills are. i'm sure by next year she will adjust to these changes w/out issues. My daughter is also the youngest in her class(she's not 6 until the end of July) but academically is doing quite well. I wouldn't get too concerned about it. If thats the worst of your problems, you're blessed.

Not sure if this helps, but this is how I am teaching my 3 year old to sit still and be quiet. I tell her there is a time to be loud and run around, and a time to be quiet. Everyday (when I'm doing good) we have a short supervised quiet time, and it is timed with a timer. When I first started doing it, I only did 5 minutes. Then I gradually increased the time up, so that she could sit still for longer--like during church. I allow her to look at books and play with quiet toys (her baby, etc.) while we listen to something on the radio together.

For your situation, maybe you could do short practice school sessions with him at home. Set the guidelines--no talking, must either listen to you talk about a topic, or work on an activity. Set a time and gradually increase it. I wouldn't make a big deal about it, but just have fun with it.

Yes, some of it will come with maturity, but you can greatly improve his confidence and ability by doing this for him.

Hi there,

Here is an idea that I almost wound up using with one of my ninth grade students. I think it's more elementary (pardon the pun), so I thought I'd share it with you.

First off, see if you can touch base with his next year's teacher. And even see if you can get this started now with his current teacher. Give your son, let's say three, four or five tickets -- tickets to be used when he absolutely has to tell a story or share something. These tickets are NOT to be used when he as a question that is relevant to what he is learning. Rather, they are tickets for sharing a story about the concept he is learning or something else. The teacher then collects the tickets. He only has those many opportunities to share or be "chatty," if you will, each day. Make a chart for him that the teacher then can put three or four or whatever smiley faces on to confirm that he only used the amount of tickets he was originally given. Give him incentive when he gets home by providing immediate, daily rewards. Nothing huge to break your bank, but maybe a fun activity that he likes to do with you. Or maybe an extra story at night or a couple of extra minutes for a show. At the end of the week, reward him with something big -- since the weather is getting nicer, maybe take him out to the park for special play time after dinner and before bed. Or maybe take him out for a water ice or ice cream. You get the idea.

Also, you can get the teacher on board by brainstorming special privileges that he can get while in school. It might sound lame to us, but maybe one could be erasing the chalkboard. Kids -- even highschoolers! -- love stuff like that. Or writing the day or date on the board.

By doing all of this, you are working on modifying his behavior, which is ultimately what you want to do. You don't want him NOT to share his thoughts and ideas. Rather, you want him to start to think about when his sharing is appropriate and to evaluate whether what he wants to share is important enough to use one of his tickets.

And what if he comes home with extra tickets? Like if he doesn't use his tickets for the day? I wouldn't carry them over. You got me here. I'm sure you could think of something, though!

Much luck to you and your sweet son. You have the opportunity now to teach him how to use his gift of gab in a positive way -- a way that will keep him involved in his classes.

T. :)