Too Much Activity for an Almost 4 Yr. Old

If he enjoys the activities, and you don't feel spread too thin, then I don't see a problem with it. I have a 4 year old a lot like what you describe, and we did have lots of playdates, etc. to keep him busy before he started full day prek and aftercare in August, or I would have had to sign him up for some things as well. As it is, I still find myself "running" him -taking him out to literally run, swim, bike, etc. after full days of activity to wear off extra energy! I think problems come in when the child is older and has school, homework AND a ton of scheduled activities causing them to never have any downtime or relaxation and not allowing them time to get adequate sleep, etc. Parents also get in a mess then because they're running all over the place shuttling the kids and watching games, plays, performances, and whatnot constantly instead of once in awhile. Just be careful when he's older not to overschedule him then!

I think activities could be good, but consistency is key with all kids. Daycare a couple days, prek some other days, and then a sport sounds like a bit much. I would try and go for a full time preschool that you really like. I think kids that are hyper do best with a schedule they can depend on and being with an adult they can know what to expect from. If you put him in one place five days a week he could get into a routine and learn the expectations of one place and adjust. I think taking him to three different things is too much and would be a lot for even the most laid back kid. Its kind of a whirlwind and sounds like it may be even more distracting to him. I would find one solution you and he really love and then be committed to that.

I say this because I ran a daycare for years. I had one boy in particular that was super hyper and strong-willed. He started out coming to me 2 days a week and then to grandmas the other two, and a playdate with mom one day. It really was too much for him. Just when he would get into a little bit of a routine at my house and get used to things, he would be gone to grandmas for two days, then off with mom for a day and the weekend. By the time he got back to me on Monday, it was like starting all over every week. Every week he had to relearn all the rules and get used to everything all over again. I really felt bad for him. Finally his mom decided just to move him to me 4 days a week and after an adjustment period he did great and really blossomed. The consistency helped and he wasn't so hyper. He knew what to expect everyday and he was familiar with my rules. I had sufficient time to work with him on some of his negative behaviors including tearing apart a room 3 minutes into our day =) He really did seem happier and more content.

If you do decide to take my advice, make sure you place him with a school that has outside play everyday (weather permitting), exercise, different activities, etc. . .so he can really burn off that energy and not get bored. Know that there will be times he can't be entertained 24/7 and he should be able to follow simple rules and learn to take care of his things. He should be taught to clean up after himself, you can never start to young with that! Consistency, clear rules, consequences with kindness--thats what every kid needs.

Best of luck, hope this helps.

Some kids need more time out of the house than others-my DD is a homebody and would rather be inside and listening to a book--trust me that can be draining as well when you want to get her outside doing something:) Is there a space for him to be that is childproofed with some toys that are rotated on a weekly basis? Rotating toys can help with the boredom issue. Setting out a different quiet activity (marble maze, beads and strings, puzzles, diff kind of art supply, playdough) at a small table he can access. Gather nature items on a walk and keep in a tray for exploration and for use when painting as well. Collect used boxes and other "found" materials in a large bin and he can use them in construction activities. Also--as a daycare provider with one very active little guy going outside for as long as possible, sometimes twice a day is a must.

You don't want to be running yourself ragged and he should learn to entertain himself in a developmentally appropriate way without tearing apart your home. I have the children help me tidy periodically throughout the day (especially before moving on to a highly anticipated activity) to teach them responsibility and so I keep my sanity. If he runs amok all over the house, restrict him to a smaller area with a choice of two or three activities to help him settle and to reduce his overstimulation. Gross motor activities even indoors is a must ( indoor baseball with two liter bottles and light weight balls , indoor baseball with paper towel tubes and light weight ball, kick the can games, exercise ball) Hope this helps! I know it can be hard with an active little guy trying to tear the house apart:) I dread the winter days when it is way too cold to take the kiddos out ...

Activities are wonderful and great, sounds like your kid and mine would get along PERFECTLY! Too bad we are no where near eachother :( I would however keep it to preschool (maybe 3 half days not 2) and pick one "sport" activity. a tip i try to use (does not always work) is to get the child started on a game/toy for 5-10 min then gently walk away and see how long they play alone before they move on to help promote self entertainment. My son is a good self entertainer but when he WANTS you he WANTS YOU!! good luck.

I have three very active boys, 4 1/2, almost 3, and turning 1 tomorrow. We have to get out of the house at least once a day, or everyone (not least me) turns into a monster. If you want this getting out of the house to be an organized activity, I don't see a problem with it. I wouldn't want to have to actually load up the car and go somewhere every single day, but if you don't mind and your son enjoys the activities, then fine. Alternatives might be making sure you take a walk (is there a place your son can ride his bike?) or simply play in the yard if you have one. When my sons are getting into trouble, I throw them out in the yard -- even if it's raining and they have to suit up in rain coats and boots. I've noticed that they are so much better behaved when they're outside! There are also play grounds while we still have nice weather. I agree with other posters that free time is really important, too, but I know that my kids get out of control if they have too much free time inside.

Basically, try whatever you think will help and, if it helps, stick with it. Don't worry about whether others think you're overscheduling. Do what works for your son (but be open to the possibility that all the scheduling is actually part of the problem).

My opinion, based on experience from 3 boys:

You need to NOT over schedule them. If you fill every minute of every day for them, they will not know how to fill free time themselves.

Creativity, in large part, comes from an opportunity to "be bored." To have to come up with an idea on your own rather than just following the schedule all the time.

Our guideline from Kinder thru 5th grade: one sport per school year and one other activity (music, Scouts, or Chess club, etc) and then in 6th grade & forward they got to pick (with advisement by us). In freshman yr. of high school, they got to pick. We had to be quiet, as long as the grades were good.

I say go for it...may want to do it more gradually, but he will soon be in school with full days expected of him. Better to get started on the routine. I would involve him in chooses his day 5 activity, but yes, he sounds like he needs a drain for his energy level!

HI L.,

I had a child that was hyperactive as well. I found that I was actually causing it. I know that sounds strange but I detoxed my home when my Dad (with Alzheimer's) moved in and her behavior drastically changed. I detoxed because I wanted to prevent him from drinking the chemicals or mistaking one for a lotion, etc. Once the toxins were out of the house, her behavior settled into a mild mannered, well behaved, different child. Don't get me wrong, she was always sweet-natured, but sooo sooo busy that I was exhausted watching her.

Turns out things like Lysol, Windex, Pledge, chlorine bleach are all neurological poisons and she, being littler than the adults, reacted more violently than we would. Her brain was simply overstimulated. Detoxing the way I did it, even with bath and body products, was very simple for me and actually saved me money as well. If I were in your shoes I would give it a try. It can't do anything but help and even if it doesn't solve all your problems, it will affect the health of your home in a positive way.

I'll be glad to walk you through what I did if this interests you at all....

God bless,

M.

It is hard with a baby and a preschooler. My 2 are just under 3 years apart. My son is 4.5 now. I put him in preschool 3 days when he was 3 and 4 months. It wasn't the easiest adjustment for him at first but it saved my sanity while I was adjusting to the baby. Now he has been at preschool for over a year and goes 5 mornings. Before that I was trying to juggle playgroups and story hour and just unscheduled stuff like playing in the park. I think you do have to get toddlers and preschoolers out every day (with rare exceptions for weather and illness) or they just have too much energy. My son at 4.5 has too much little boy energy to stay inside without there being chaos. But you don't necessarily have to schedule everything as a lesson either. Free outdoor play is fine a few days a week.

I have a super active super social kiddo... he can be go go go most hours of the day and be the happiest camper around (we have to moderate things for ME... because *I* get tired).

I think that we all find the balance for our own families. For my own son, that means something organized at least once a day (at 4, my son would run 6 miles daily, take a 30 minute break, swim for an hour, take a 60 minute break, chase the dog for 2 hours, take a 30 minute break, head off to gymnastics for an hour, take a 30 minute break, etc. on days he wasn't in preschool. MOST kids are the reverse. They can handle about 30 minutes of activity and need a couple hours of downtime). My 8yo needs to be active 8-10 hours a day. It's just the way he thrives. Others are more sedentary. We homeschool... which also opens up the amount of time we have to do things in. We personally do gymnastics, aikido, swimming, music, & art year round. Then we do soccer, snowboarding, baseball, swimming/sailing seasonally. It means he's basically "gone" 1-3 hours a day in spring, summer, fall... and we're on the mountian for 10 in the winter. It works out to be a very RELAXING schedule for us, with lots of time for family, friends, school, and getting into trouble. For others, it would drive them insane.

There's a really big difference between over scheduling and just leading an active lifestyle. Where that line is, is different for every family.

If the schedule works for you and your son, it's fine. For me and my sons, this would've been way too much. In fact, my husband and I went the opposite direction. Outside of school activities (of which there are many), the first order of business was religious education, followed by one non-school activity. My sons had LOTS of unscheduled time as a result.

As I look back, I'm thankful my husband and I chose to live in a very rural part of the nation. We had 4.5 acres and we could send the boys out to "get into trouble without really getting in to trouble," as my husband liked to say. They spent whole days exploring the property with the dogs...bugs, plants, lizards, you name it. As they got older, they learned to self-entertain because, as my mom always said, if you're bored, there's always chores to do. Recently, my 16 year old son thanked me for not overscheduling him because he loved the time to just lie on his bed and think. My 12 year old does the same thing now..."Anything else I can do mom? Ok, I'm off to think!"

So, you see, it's whatever works best for you child and for you.

Good luck!

honestly, you cannot expect a 4y.o. to play without supervision! It's like leaving a child in a candy store....they're going to get into EVERYTHING!!!

Provide a place for him to play....wherever you are...whether it's the kitchen or the living room/etc. Teach him to put away one activity & clean up after himself BEFORE he moves onto something else. & take the time to engage, direct, & encourage him to build upon his play with the individual toys. Life skills such as these are not innate.....they have to be taught! It's all part of a Mom's job!

I am not recommending that you continually entertain him while at home. Simply be a presence in his "world".....or you will lose control quickly. Children need guidelines & structure to thrive!

& in regards to overscheduling, YES....that's way too much for a 4 y.o.! Our house rule is "one sport per season".....allowing for overlapping as needed. His preschool & daycare schedule should provide more than enough activity! My sons, too, were full of energy.....& we all loved it! Enjoy!

I think the key here is balance...my daughter is 3, she is very active and seems to get bored at home - she loves to just get outside and go places. She does 2.5 hours of preschool twice a week and a gymnastics class once a week that is 45 minutes (I am with her during the class). I am thinking of doing a weekly swim lesson that would be 30 minutes. This still leaves her plenty of time for her to be with me at home, play freely, visit the playground, go on play dates with my friend and her kids. Kids need that "free time" too - my concern would be if a child is enrolled in so many things that they don't ever learn how to entertain themselves, and expect to have planned activities all the time. Like one of the other moms said, not everything has to be a lesson. I guess the question is how much is this going to eat into your time at home (between the class itself and the transportation), how much it will cost, and how could he benefit from it. Maybe sign him up for one thing at a time, give it a couple of months, and see how it feels.